Dirtclustit
Banned
There are plenty of ways where you as a couple, can find your other. The whole grammar/semantics is just that, grammar and semantics. But I wouldn't be discouraged by Frankie or any others who tell you saying "we" and "our third"... If you read Frank's posts, most of them paint pictures of something that relationships are not. Anybody that needs to rely on twisting/exaggerating truth into lies is better reading for entertainment.
You say...
... and his French, grammatically correct, yet deaf ears, hear, "We want a hot bi babe. How come everyone is fake? We're entitled to a sex toy, and we demand it!"
It's a pretty punky thing to do, but if you read here where others share their stories, and tell you how they screwed up, there is some valuable info. But a better paraphrase might be that there are actual pitfalls, and it's hard not to let NRE drop you right into it. If you've not experienced many threesomes, there is a definite elevated sense that you will likely notice. It may actually be better to start with swinging or casual sex first, because there are people who enjoy being a casual third with a couple. Yes, it isn't polyamory, but if you've not had threesomes, you are more likely to not get a pathological case of NRE due to the added excitement.
But polyamory is becoming more mainstream, and I can understand why family friendly folks don't want to associated with promiscuity, because there are poly people who have the equivalent of what you would call in monogamy, a prude. I don't mean prude negatively. I just mean that they are sure of themselves and don't deviate from the speed they allow relationships to progress. Just like mono girls who get sick of being treated like shit and believing lines, they don't give up their bodies to just anyone, i.e., they have very strong morals.
To be honest, just like any other mono relationships, jumping into bed tends throw a monkey wrench into things, so it's probably a good idea to look for a women or man whom you can establish a close friendship with, a non-sexual triad. Don't Franklin's fucked-up monkey sphere and bullshit belittling get to you. They can demand definitions 'til they're blue in face, it's all just egotistical pissing contest where a blogger gains points for coming up with better, subtler ways to belittle a person, to build themselves up.
Love is love, and sex is sex. You'd have better luck just searching out a friend who doesn't identify as poly. At least that's how I've found people that I really connected with, where, eventually, sex became part of the friendship, because I wasn't looking for a poly partner, it just turned out that I really got along with a couple.
If you don't want your triad to blow up, don't get tangled up in "dating" a women. Instead, befriend a woman, and then if she turns out to be someone you really connect with, become a non-sexual triad, but don't get caught up in being "blogger right" by declaring an advice-seeking polyamorous person wrong. Don't let punk attitudes pressure you into having sex just to be called a triad.
Those types of poly attitudes are poly that is about sex. It's not a triad dynamic, or referring to you and your spouse as "we" that blows things up, it's not being patient and understanding with each other. So be careful about any poly community you dabble in, online or real life, because from my experience, poly communities can often be far more judgmental, far more controlling, far more active in afflicting non-conformers with a world of shit (the worst is when they do it with extreme subtlety, like Mister Veaux) as it can begin to feel more like a Nazi internment camp than a place that's supportive.
You are an adult, your spouse is an adult, and I assume you wouldn't get involved with minors. Just be patient and understanding of your friends and know how to pick and choose the advice that fits you and your life. Franklin's sites are not the best source for triad information. If you were homosexual you wouldn't read blog posts at the Westboro Christian site, would you?
So, unless you think segregated, multi-person dating is your poly flavor, take Frank's words with a grain of salt, or better yet, spit it out, you'll be doing wrong unless you practice French proprietary poly.
As usual, many typos here, but my plane is boarding.
You say...
... and his French, grammatically correct, yet deaf ears, hear, "We want a hot bi babe. How come everyone is fake? We're entitled to a sex toy, and we demand it!"
It's a pretty punky thing to do, but if you read here where others share their stories, and tell you how they screwed up, there is some valuable info. But a better paraphrase might be that there are actual pitfalls, and it's hard not to let NRE drop you right into it. If you've not experienced many threesomes, there is a definite elevated sense that you will likely notice. It may actually be better to start with swinging or casual sex first, because there are people who enjoy being a casual third with a couple. Yes, it isn't polyamory, but if you've not had threesomes, you are more likely to not get a pathological case of NRE due to the added excitement.
But polyamory is becoming more mainstream, and I can understand why family friendly folks don't want to associated with promiscuity, because there are poly people who have the equivalent of what you would call in monogamy, a prude. I don't mean prude negatively. I just mean that they are sure of themselves and don't deviate from the speed they allow relationships to progress. Just like mono girls who get sick of being treated like shit and believing lines, they don't give up their bodies to just anyone, i.e., they have very strong morals.
To be honest, just like any other mono relationships, jumping into bed tends throw a monkey wrench into things, so it's probably a good idea to look for a women or man whom you can establish a close friendship with, a non-sexual triad. Don't Franklin's fucked-up monkey sphere and bullshit belittling get to you. They can demand definitions 'til they're blue in face, it's all just egotistical pissing contest where a blogger gains points for coming up with better, subtler ways to belittle a person, to build themselves up.
Love is love, and sex is sex. You'd have better luck just searching out a friend who doesn't identify as poly. At least that's how I've found people that I really connected with, where, eventually, sex became part of the friendship, because I wasn't looking for a poly partner, it just turned out that I really got along with a couple.
If you don't want your triad to blow up, don't get tangled up in "dating" a women. Instead, befriend a woman, and then if she turns out to be someone you really connect with, become a non-sexual triad, but don't get caught up in being "blogger right" by declaring an advice-seeking polyamorous person wrong. Don't let punk attitudes pressure you into having sex just to be called a triad.
Those types of poly attitudes are poly that is about sex. It's not a triad dynamic, or referring to you and your spouse as "we" that blows things up, it's not being patient and understanding with each other. So be careful about any poly community you dabble in, online or real life, because from my experience, poly communities can often be far more judgmental, far more controlling, far more active in afflicting non-conformers with a world of shit (the worst is when they do it with extreme subtlety, like Mister Veaux) as it can begin to feel more like a Nazi internment camp than a place that's supportive.
You are an adult, your spouse is an adult, and I assume you wouldn't get involved with minors. Just be patient and understanding of your friends and know how to pick and choose the advice that fits you and your life. Franklin's sites are not the best source for triad information. If you were homosexual you wouldn't read blog posts at the Westboro Christian site, would you?
So, unless you think segregated, multi-person dating is your poly flavor, take Frank's words with a grain of salt, or better yet, spit it out, you'll be doing wrong unless you practice French proprietary poly.
As usual, many typos here, but my plane is boarding.
