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Dustytx

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I just love Pixie & Surfer. Over the next several weeks Surfer is having some medical procedures. Pixie had already asked if I would help care for him after as I have an opposite work schedule from her. I agreed as she needs to minimize her time away from work & I tend to be at least as stubborn as Surfer so he's less likely to argue with me over whether or not he should be taking it easy. Cowboy had no issues with me helping out as they would do the same if we were in a similar situation.

Last weekend all four of us were out of town together & Pixie started to share day & times for the procedures. We were coordinating when she will be off work & when I will need to be at their house to help. Then she says, "Don't forget, procedure #1 will be on day X at 7:30 AM. Can you be at the hospital by 7?" My response was, " I wasn't planning on being at the hospital for these things but I'll be happy to be there for you guys." She said, "He loves you, I love you. He wants you there, I need you there. Why wouldn't you be there?" I was floored! I'm not his wife, I'm the girlfriend. I have no access to medical info nor any decision making power. Yet this amazing, giving, sharing woman wants me present. Both as part of her support system & for Surfer. Keep in mind that while Pixie & I are friends we are not romantically involved. Probably at this point in the relationship what started as a V between Cowboy, Surfer & me (hinge) as well as a V between myself, Pixie & Surfer (hinge) turned to a brief quad & is now a double V again. Who knows where this will lead but I honestly never thought I'd love two men at the same time much less have a close friendship with the wife of my BF.

Surfer & I agree that we are extremely fortunate to have understanding spouses & all four of us share close bonds. Surfer & Cowboy hang out alone, Pixie & I hang out, Pixie & Cowboy hang out, Surfer & I hang out & we can all four be together as well. Not that we haven't had bumps along the way by any means. I love these people!
 
I'm so happy to read this story. It actually made me tear up about the thought of being that happy in such a series of relationships. It must feel incredible to be so surrounded with such love and support. =D Congratulations!
 
Hi Dustytx,

Glad to hear that your companions are loving and supportive, thanks for sharing that.
 
It's a beautiful thing to read examples where people are happy and supportive of each other in this way. I'm very happy for you!
 
So as an update to this thread. We made it through procedure #1. Pixie & I were both in pre-op with him. One holding each hand. They drove in together & I met them an hour later. When I joined them he of course wanted an intimate kiss. She laughed as I gave him one. When they took him back he wanted another from each of us. The nurses were cool & acted as if it were totally normal. The recovery nurse not so much. He woke up insisting that he needed both of us. They only allow one person in recovery. It seems that he really upset her with his demands & wouldn't drop it. She came & got Pixie & explained to her that as his wife she was the only one that belonged there. She had been so stressed all day that she didn't really register what the nurse said until Surfer saw her & said "I'm glad you're here. Where's Dusty? I need her too." Pixie was not upset but the nurse was visibly so. Oh well, it's really not her business.
 
Sorry that nurse was such a jerk about it. :mad:
 
Glad things in the 4 are going well. Also glad the procedures sound like they went ok and that most of the nurses were cool about it and only 1 had some struggle.

Sounds like the one nurse was defaulting to "that goes against hospital protocol" to manage HER discomfort. But since nursing is a stressy job, I'd cut her a break. Some people need "protocol and procedure" stuff to help them stay focussed and get through awkward or crisis situations they encounter. It helps gets them through so the jobs can get done. There's no time to be doing "deep philosophical thoughts" when there's medical work and patient care to be doing.

Hopefully over time when she's got more time to think it over, she reflects more deeply, talks to other nurses off duty, and takes a cue from them and learns when "letter of the law" is not as good as "spirit of the law."

Maybe in future you guys can talk about listing each other on hospital visitation.

Galagirl
 
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Well I get only having one person in recovery. There are other folks waking up & not everyone handles anthestesia well. I think it was highly possible that when she tried to explain it he did not take it well. He was very loopy when we left the hospital with him. I believe the nurse who woke him described him as "stoned" at that time. Normally he is a kind & caring person but I've seen him turn into an ass when impaired.
 
I think it was highly possible that when she tried to explain it he did not take it well.
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I believe the nurse who woke him described him as "stoned" at that time.
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It is what it is. Main thing is to focus on his healing. Hopefully as he "comes to" more, he can see that.

Galagirl
 
just for a different perspective...

sounds like the nurse was a jerk with a complex and if two parents can be in the space when a child wakes (because I can't imagine that would be banned), why can't two spouses be in the room when their spouse wakes. Grrrr. Ridiculous.

I don't even remember waking up from my last op I was that over sedated, lol. But I remember waking up (at the tail end of 17) from having a marsupialisation of a Bartolin's cyst (go on, google that, I dare you), and the first thing I remember was the sadistic nurse saying, "oh hi, I'm the one who prepped you for surgery". Now at 17.... yeah, I wanted to sink through the floor.

He was right to ask for both of you, and she was wrong to get so itchy about it.

You've got an awesome metamour.
 
Well you know I had to Google it. I'm from the South & I'll tell you now this is meant in a negative context, bless your heart. I can't even imagine what it felt like at 17 to have a nurse do something like that. Thank you for your perspective.
 
Dustytx said:
Well you know I had to Google it. I'm from the South & I'll tell you now this is meant in a negative context, bless your heart. I can't even imagine what it felt like at 17 to have a nurse do something like that. Thank you for your perspective.
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Crap! My edit didn't go through. It was NOT meant in a negative way. Darned cell phone
 
Yeah, she was just a tad smug about saying it, so I dunno. At more than twice that age I can look back with some mirth, but gosh it has stuck with me. People who encounter others in incredibly vulnerable positions (post op drugged) should know a little better haha.
 
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