BrianneGoddess
New member
I'm a married mom (3 children). I enjoy reading, writing, travelling, music in all forms and spending time with friends/family. I have a *slight* obsession with chocolate (hahaha).
In the past few months I've experienced an awakening of self, which was a long time in coming. I spent most of my married life thus far determined to make myself fit the mould of ideal wife, mother and daughter and in the process lost huge chunks of myself - I determined that my family deserved more and so forced myself to be what I thought they wanted. In the process, husband and I drifted further and further apart, and when issues cropped up we ignored them mostly.
When the explosion happened, it was scary and incredible for both he and I. It started with exploring the idea of a Female led relationship, and as my dearest friend helped guide me in this new world of self actualisation, I fell in love with her. And she with me. (we have never met in person, she lives thousands of miles away)
To cut a long story short, her husband freaked out when she told him (even though she had always told him she was searching for her female other) and she decided that there could be no us.
In the aftermath I blurted all out to my husband (he noticed my distress immediately) and he in a surprising turn of events has been stronger, more supportive and gone out of his way to understand this new development in my journey. I'm in awe of his adaptability in all honesty, and he has even said that he missed my old self as I locked her away and that he understands that this is just an extension of the younger me he fell in love with.
Through the heartache I experienced, we (my friend and I) managed to salvage our friendship and we are still in constant, daily communication. We just do not talk about us, or what we nearly had - although both of us have alluded to the loss and emotional upheaval it's wreaked on our families and daily lives.
My husband has suggested I look closer to home to see if this is a self discovery / poly thing or if it's a HER thing. He is willing to be supportive as long as I am honest and open about what is happening. I don't know how I feel about that for right now, but I'd like to learn as much as I can and explore my feelings on this - either to be open to another relationship later, or to be emotionally ready should she find her way back to me.
I look forward to chatting here and finding strength to discover this new side of myself.
In the past few months I've experienced an awakening of self, which was a long time in coming. I spent most of my married life thus far determined to make myself fit the mould of ideal wife, mother and daughter and in the process lost huge chunks of myself - I determined that my family deserved more and so forced myself to be what I thought they wanted. In the process, husband and I drifted further and further apart, and when issues cropped up we ignored them mostly.
When the explosion happened, it was scary and incredible for both he and I. It started with exploring the idea of a Female led relationship, and as my dearest friend helped guide me in this new world of self actualisation, I fell in love with her. And she with me. (we have never met in person, she lives thousands of miles away)
To cut a long story short, her husband freaked out when she told him (even though she had always told him she was searching for her female other) and she decided that there could be no us.
In the aftermath I blurted all out to my husband (he noticed my distress immediately) and he in a surprising turn of events has been stronger, more supportive and gone out of his way to understand this new development in my journey. I'm in awe of his adaptability in all honesty, and he has even said that he missed my old self as I locked her away and that he understands that this is just an extension of the younger me he fell in love with.
Through the heartache I experienced, we (my friend and I) managed to salvage our friendship and we are still in constant, daily communication. We just do not talk about us, or what we nearly had - although both of us have alluded to the loss and emotional upheaval it's wreaked on our families and daily lives.
My husband has suggested I look closer to home to see if this is a self discovery / poly thing or if it's a HER thing. He is willing to be supportive as long as I am honest and open about what is happening. I don't know how I feel about that for right now, but I'd like to learn as much as I can and explore my feelings on this - either to be open to another relationship later, or to be emotionally ready should she find her way back to me.
I look forward to chatting here and finding strength to discover this new side of myself.
