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- Thread starter Magdlyn
- Start date
Thanks KC, I am glad to hear from you! I had the US, and now I wait for results. Tomorrow I will start hunting for a GYN on my insurance, to do the tests for the HPV, and hopefully won't have to wait months to be seen.
I remembered as I was writing my previous posts, that Punk had recommended I look up HPV on Planned Parenthood's website. He used to work for that org.
So I did, and I see men aren't tested routinely for HPV. I was also fluid bonded with my former long term male partner... hell, I might've gotten it from him for all I know. It seems it can take a while to show up. And I read that cancer from HPV is very slow growing, so it's not like there's an emergency to get it treated.
PinkPig
Well-known member
I'm sorry about the diagnosis. I was HPV+ for a couple years. I assumed that I got it from Blue or Snow (ex-gf) but my gyn said that it can sometimes lie dormant and not show up for decades so I could possibly even have caught it before my marriage 25+ years ago. They've only been testing for it for a few years.... The vast majority of sexually active people will have at least one stain of HPV at some point, most without symptoms. Mine cleared up on its own.
I hope they find answers for the bleeding and can resolve that issue soon. ((Hugs))
I hope they find answers for the bleeding and can resolve that issue soon. ((Hugs))
Thanks PinkPig, it's nice to hear from someone that has been through the diagnosis. My sister, quite some time ago, had "abnormal cells" on her cervix. This was so long ago, I don't even know if HPV was a consideration or diagnosis then. But she went through the diagnostic tests I am in for, so she's supporting me from her experience. Her condition also cleared up on its own.
I got a call from my PCP yesterday afternoon, and she said the results of my ultrasounds came back: I have a thickened endometrium indeed. No fibroids seen. So now I also need a biopsy of the uterine lining. I found a women's health clinic in my town (right in the same building as my chiropractor, 5 minutes away!) who can do all the testing I need, and get me in within 3 weeks. As soon as they have all the paperwork from my doc, they can schedule me, so I expect that will happen right after the holiday.
In my other ongoing news, I had a 2nd date with the new guy! Let's call him Arjun. It was a short, but sweet and intense date, sexy time. Basically it was perfect for first time sex. Our kinks seem to match up very nicely. I am sure things will get even better as we get to know each other. He was Toppy/Domly, respectful, playful, passionate, virile, complimentary, excited, open minded, humorous, all the good stuff. He told me as we began that I could "stop him at any time" if anything he did went too far. He texted me as soon as he got home and told me I was amazing. (TMI: omg is he ever well endowed, and he is also intact, both the things I love in male equipment. And I made sure to tell him so.)
I texted Punk to tell him how it went and he was happy. He is looking forward to being able to exercise his kink of MFM sex. It's cute to see him turned on by the idea. Arjun will perhaps be our shared "boytoy" in some respects, although neither of us are objectifying him. He is a full human being and I like him as a person. He seems very sincere and just ready for adventure and connection.
It's nice to have a little NRE going while I am struggling with health problems in my lady bits. I feel kind of "broken" down there, but I've got 2 guys who are still interested in me. It's a nice form of therapy, psychologically and physically.
Oddly, the past couple days my back has been feeling pretty good. So good, I forgot to go to chiro yesterday morning! What with the anticipated 2nd date, and the holiday making the week seem unusual, my brain didn't remind me it was time for my regular Friday adjustment! Oops!
I haven't heard more than a random "hello I love you" from Pixi in days. This always happens when she's at camp. She leaves assuring me we will talk every day, and then she gets so incredibly busy she is unable to text. I still don't know if she's arranged to come home for an overnight on Sunday or not. One more benefit of poly: others to cuddle, talk to, go out with, and have sex with when one's "primary" is out of town.
I do have our dog for company, and this week I am also dogsitting for one of the families I babysit for. Lovely male dog, a big black standard poodle, he is chill and goofy and fun to have around.
Hannahfluke
Member
I had a pap smear that came back positive for HPV and had possible precancerous cells. I had to get the test you're getting done (I can never remember the name). I had my pap at my primary care provider and he doesn't do the follow up test, so I just called the nearest ob gyn clinic to me and ended up being assigned to a friend of ours I hadn't even thought about seeing if our insurance covered (I was taking a nap when the nurse called to tell me the results and she was so intense and freaked me out with her talk of "it's really important you get this test done ASAP!" So I wasn't thinking clearly). Anyway, the test was painful, because they are taking biopsies of your cervix, and I was in pain for a few days after, but other than that, it wasn't too bad. My doctor friend told me what you found out about cervical cancer being a really slow cancer, which helped me calm down, because part of why I was freaking out was my grandmother died of ovarian and uterine cancer, so I was worried about the possibility of me having issues there. Our friend used to be part of the local poly community, so she answered all my questions about how it might affect my partners' other partners and things without any judgements, which was nice. I hope everything continues to improve with your back!
Testing of the cervix: a staining with vinegar to better see cells, and then the biopsy, called a colposcopy. So I will need a biopsy of the cervix for the abnormal cells, as well as them going up thru the cervix to biopsy my endometrium to see what's going on in there! Fun!
I won't die of cancer of anything because of course, I am catching all this early, and I can get a damn hysterectomy if worse comes to worst. That doesn't sound great, but since I am past childbearing age anyway, it's not tragic. I just don't want anything to mess up my libido and sex life (more than temporarily)!
I finally heard from Pixi today and she has been having a rough time at camp. Several of the campers in her cabin have had "mental health issues" she has had to deal with. Also, she is being asked by several counselors who also have Monday off, to drive them places that day. I guess she wants to help them out with that, or feels obliged or something. So much for our possible overnight visit. She said she'd see if she could get away for a while, and drive down, but its a 2.25 hour drive one way! So that seems ridiculous.
I won't die of cancer of anything because of course, I am catching all this early, and I can get a damn hysterectomy if worse comes to worst. That doesn't sound great, but since I am past childbearing age anyway, it's not tragic. I just don't want anything to mess up my libido and sex life (more than temporarily)!
I finally heard from Pixi today and she has been having a rough time at camp. Several of the campers in her cabin have had "mental health issues" she has had to deal with. Also, she is being asked by several counselors who also have Monday off, to drive them places that day. I guess she wants to help them out with that, or feels obliged or something. So much for our possible overnight visit. She said she'd see if she could get away for a while, and drive down, but its a 2.25 hour drive one way! So that seems ridiculous.
RainyGrlJenny
Member
I just tested positive for HPV 16 a couple of months ago and had a colposcopy in May. They did the vinegar thing, but she told me I have a beautiful cervix and she didn't end up even taking the biopsy, just a swab. That came back negative, so they said I just need to get a pap every year (I was on the every 5 plan, grrrr) to keep an eye on it and that it will probably just resolve itself. There was no pain or even discomfort with the test, which I had been dreading. The initial diagnosis freaked me out, though!
Good luck with everything
Good luck with everything
Thanks Jenny! I hope I have a beautiful cervix too! My nethers have served me very well all these years, and I have so much sex with my dear partners, I feel it's fit and healthy! Unlike some post-menopausal women of almost 61, my PCP told me I have a nice healthy vagina, well lubricated (no duh!). hehe
So, Pixi did come home after all! She totally surprised me on Sunday evening. She's tired already from camp, but having a good time, and doing good work. We talked, and then I put her in a hot bath and bathed her. She loved the pampering. It was so good to have her back, if just for a short while. She had so many stories.
We went out for a nice Mexican lunch yesterday (seemingly the only open restaurant in town on July 4), and she left around 5. Punk came over around 7 and stayed til 1030.
And now Arjun and he will both come here tomorrow. Time for the guys to meet! Arjun has been texting me on and off today, he is so sweet! He wants to keep getting to know me better, and make sure everything is good for meeting Punk, etc.
So, Pixi did come home after all! She totally surprised me on Sunday evening. She's tired already from camp, but having a good time, and doing good work. We talked, and then I put her in a hot bath and bathed her. She loved the pampering. It was so good to have her back, if just for a short while. She had so many stories.
We went out for a nice Mexican lunch yesterday (seemingly the only open restaurant in town on July 4), and she left around 5. Punk came over around 7 and stayed til 1030.
And now Arjun and he will both come here tomorrow. Time for the guys to meet! Arjun has been texting me on and off today, he is so sweet! He wants to keep getting to know me better, and make sure everything is good for meeting Punk, etc.
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Spork
Active member
That whole thing with Arjun sounds drrrreamy! I have had an interest in an MFM threesome but I've never done it. Maybe one day. The men in my life aren't interested in being too closely engaged in sexual activities with one another.
My particular annoyance is that I seem to get odd lumps and bumps that I am told are "harmless" and I'm like...but...they are...kind of disfiguring, could ya get rid of them anyways? Nope. I've got a "nabothian cyst" so my cervix is not exactly beautiful...but it's a harmless bit of nothing and not to be worried about. I've got a "lipoma" on a rib on my back...but again, harmless and not to be worried about (except when I want to wear a gown with the back cut out, in which case...yeah, no.) I've got a "schwannoma" on my NOSE which is just bizarre. This is normally a tumor of nerve cells that forms on the brain or vestibular nerves, and if it were on my brain it would be a problem I am told, but on my nose...freakish and weird, but not dangerous.
So...I've got...a brain tumor...on my...nose? Yeah, pretty much.
(Actual conversation with actual doctor.)
Living with such things is why, when people I know tell me that I'm pretty, I kind of want to laugh at them. My body is ridiculous. I know. I live in it.
My particular annoyance is that I seem to get odd lumps and bumps that I am told are "harmless" and I'm like...but...they are...kind of disfiguring, could ya get rid of them anyways? Nope. I've got a "nabothian cyst" so my cervix is not exactly beautiful...but it's a harmless bit of nothing and not to be worried about. I've got a "lipoma" on a rib on my back...but again, harmless and not to be worried about (except when I want to wear a gown with the back cut out, in which case...yeah, no.) I've got a "schwannoma" on my NOSE which is just bizarre. This is normally a tumor of nerve cells that forms on the brain or vestibular nerves, and if it were on my brain it would be a problem I am told, but on my nose...freakish and weird, but not dangerous.
So...I've got...a brain tumor...on my...nose? Yeah, pretty much.
(Actual conversation with actual doctor.)
Living with such things is why, when people I know tell me that I'm pretty, I kind of want to laugh at them. My body is ridiculous. I know. I live in it.
Thanks for the positive thoughts and affirmations about the MFM threesome, friends! I feel on the one hand, really good and positive and euphoric about how it went, but on the other hand, kinda unicorn hunterish that I sought someone specifically who would be interested in it. But I didn't seek someone just to serve me (us) sexually. I had my usual criteria of the things I look for in a partner, attractive, smart, funny, reasonably self aware, open minded, progressive, cool with polyamory, respectful, all that. And Arjun definitely has those qualities, and then some! And of course, I will treat him with as much respect and care as I expect from him.
So on Wednesday, Punk had a dr appointment at 1, with his prescriber. He wasn't sure if it would be short or long, so I expected him at 3 ish, emphasis on the ish. As usual, I hadn't gotten enough sleep in the night, so at 1 I let myself relax into a nap on the couch. But Punk got here at 2!
I was a bit nervous about our planned encounter including Arjun. I knew it was silly to be nervous, or feeling like I had stage fright, but there it was. I tried to just relax as much as I could, be in the moment, try not to stress about the near future.
Punk and I chatted til Arjun got here right at 3. We all sat around and talked for a while, 20 mins or so. Punk took the armchair and Arjun and I sat on the couch. I laid back at one end and let my feet touch him. I could see that the guys were getting along OK, sharing stories about themselves. Sometimes Punk talks too much when he's nervous (he admitted later he was a little nervous), but he seemed to control it pretty well, so that Arjun could open up and share more with both of us about who he is, things he's done. It was nice.
Then I needed to get up to pee and let the dog out. By the time I got back, I noticed the guys were talking about their experiences in sex clubs. I stood behind where Arjun was on the couch, and leaned down and rubbed his shoulders a little. He seemed to appreciate it, and when I looked at Punk, he was smiling, his eyes shining, to see me touching Arjun. I waited for a gap in their conversation, then asked Arjun if he wanted a tour of my house. The first time he'd come here last Friday, he hadn't been able to stay long, and we had both been focused on exploring sex for the first time, so he hadn't seen it. When we'd texted since then, he'd expressed interest in seeing some of my artwork too, which is hanging on walls all over the house.
So, we went from room to room, the kitchen, downstairs in the family room, where my collections and paintings are, and then back upstairs. I led them into my bedroom and said, And this is the bedroom, you know this room! Arjun said, Yeah! and immediately took me in his arms and started kissing me. So we did that for a bit, then I turned to Punk and kissed him too. I knew I needed to be aware to share myself back and forth, as a good hinge in a V should.
So, it all went great! So fun and intense. The clothes came off, everyone was turned on, many different positions were taken. Punk has had so much experience with three or foursomes. I'd found out recently that he and a gf were in a quad for 2 years, and so he's had the gamut of different pairings off, sex between 3 or 4. It was reassuring that he was so experienced with how things go.
Besides the actual sex, the boys collaborated to also do some kinky stuff to me, impact and sensation play. It was wonderful to be double teamed for that! A little more complicated than one on one, but Punk whispered in my ear at one point what a good job I was doing, which was nice. Things just flowed. Arjun is more Domly than Punk, and it was fun when he'd take charge from time to time with a position or certain activity.
At one point Arjun said he needed a picture of my ass, which was getting pretty colorful I guess! lol
After an hour or so, Punk got tired but Arjun didn't. Punk sort of wandered off for a while and left us to it. Arjun had cum early on, but had quickly gotten a second wind, and just didn't seem to want to stop. Well, I finally had to beg for mercy! lol I never do that. I never seem to wear out before a man does, so it was nice to feel entirely exhausted. And I was feeling like I probably pushed my back far enough... I didn't want to spend the next day or two in pain on the couch. lol
I was like a rag doll on the bed. Arjun got dressed, gave me some water, handed me my clothes. I asked him how he thought it went, was it OK, doing this, when he and I have basically only just met? He assured me it was great, he loved it, etc. When I could move, we went out to the living room where Punk was. Arjun had to go to the birthday party of a kid of a work friend of his, so he got going. The guys were like, Nice meeting you, man, see you again? You bet.
Punk stayed longer, for dinner. We talked it over. Nice aftercare. He was proud of me, and he was so happy to have seen me happy, to have had this experience. He was very impressed with Arjun's personality. He said, He was easy to talk to, and so polite! I said, So, I picked a good one? He said, Yeah. I said, I do have pretty high standards. And Punk expressed, that if Arjun was so great, and I also think Punk is great, he might also be up to my standards. Of course he is! He isn't aware of what a catch he is, coming from a family where there is emotional abuse and so much bitchiness.
I had to send Punk home around 7. My dog was having a rough night. I think her stomach was upset. Not sure why. She's so high strung. Perhaps having had the poodle here for 9 or 10 days, then my 2 beaux over, and Pixi away, threw her off her routine too much. She's 14 and a creature of habit, lol
(As Punk was leaving with his keys in his hand, I noticed a cute little wooden piece hanging on it, with 2 colors of wood. Of course he'd made it. I said, I want one! And I just noticed this morning, he's already made it and put a pic of it on Instagram, saying it's for Magdlyn. )
So Punk left, and I went down to the family room to watch TV, basically just so the dog would settle. She always loves when Pixi and I head downstairs after dinner for a little TV or a movie. It's like, she likes to get the pack all together in the den, so she can let her herding instincts relax, and go to sleep! Little bugger, lol.
I texted with Arjun around 9. We complimented each other. He wanted to make sure Punk had also had fun, felt good about it all. I assured him he had been pleased to meet him, and enjoyed the sex. When I complimented Arjun on what we'd done, he said, All for you. When you are happy, we are all happy. Awww!
Yesterday I decided to send him a slightly naughty pic. When he got it, he said, Is this my prize? I said, well, you deserve a better prize than that! Then he said, I have something for you too. I will give it to you next time. Hm! I wonder what it is!
So on Wednesday, Punk had a dr appointment at 1, with his prescriber. He wasn't sure if it would be short or long, so I expected him at 3 ish, emphasis on the ish. As usual, I hadn't gotten enough sleep in the night, so at 1 I let myself relax into a nap on the couch. But Punk got here at 2!
I was a bit nervous about our planned encounter including Arjun. I knew it was silly to be nervous, or feeling like I had stage fright, but there it was. I tried to just relax as much as I could, be in the moment, try not to stress about the near future.
Punk and I chatted til Arjun got here right at 3. We all sat around and talked for a while, 20 mins or so. Punk took the armchair and Arjun and I sat on the couch. I laid back at one end and let my feet touch him. I could see that the guys were getting along OK, sharing stories about themselves. Sometimes Punk talks too much when he's nervous (he admitted later he was a little nervous), but he seemed to control it pretty well, so that Arjun could open up and share more with both of us about who he is, things he's done. It was nice.
Then I needed to get up to pee and let the dog out. By the time I got back, I noticed the guys were talking about their experiences in sex clubs. I stood behind where Arjun was on the couch, and leaned down and rubbed his shoulders a little. He seemed to appreciate it, and when I looked at Punk, he was smiling, his eyes shining, to see me touching Arjun. I waited for a gap in their conversation, then asked Arjun if he wanted a tour of my house. The first time he'd come here last Friday, he hadn't been able to stay long, and we had both been focused on exploring sex for the first time, so he hadn't seen it. When we'd texted since then, he'd expressed interest in seeing some of my artwork too, which is hanging on walls all over the house.
So, we went from room to room, the kitchen, downstairs in the family room, where my collections and paintings are, and then back upstairs. I led them into my bedroom and said, And this is the bedroom, you know this room! Arjun said, Yeah! and immediately took me in his arms and started kissing me. So we did that for a bit, then I turned to Punk and kissed him too. I knew I needed to be aware to share myself back and forth, as a good hinge in a V should.
So, it all went great! So fun and intense. The clothes came off, everyone was turned on, many different positions were taken. Punk has had so much experience with three or foursomes. I'd found out recently that he and a gf were in a quad for 2 years, and so he's had the gamut of different pairings off, sex between 3 or 4. It was reassuring that he was so experienced with how things go.
Besides the actual sex, the boys collaborated to also do some kinky stuff to me, impact and sensation play. It was wonderful to be double teamed for that! A little more complicated than one on one, but Punk whispered in my ear at one point what a good job I was doing, which was nice. Things just flowed. Arjun is more Domly than Punk, and it was fun when he'd take charge from time to time with a position or certain activity.
At one point Arjun said he needed a picture of my ass, which was getting pretty colorful I guess! lol
After an hour or so, Punk got tired but Arjun didn't. Punk sort of wandered off for a while and left us to it. Arjun had cum early on, but had quickly gotten a second wind, and just didn't seem to want to stop. Well, I finally had to beg for mercy! lol I never do that. I never seem to wear out before a man does, so it was nice to feel entirely exhausted. And I was feeling like I probably pushed my back far enough... I didn't want to spend the next day or two in pain on the couch. lol
I was like a rag doll on the bed. Arjun got dressed, gave me some water, handed me my clothes. I asked him how he thought it went, was it OK, doing this, when he and I have basically only just met? He assured me it was great, he loved it, etc. When I could move, we went out to the living room where Punk was. Arjun had to go to the birthday party of a kid of a work friend of his, so he got going. The guys were like, Nice meeting you, man, see you again? You bet.
Punk stayed longer, for dinner. We talked it over. Nice aftercare. He was proud of me, and he was so happy to have seen me happy, to have had this experience. He was very impressed with Arjun's personality. He said, He was easy to talk to, and so polite! I said, So, I picked a good one? He said, Yeah. I said, I do have pretty high standards. And Punk expressed, that if Arjun was so great, and I also think Punk is great, he might also be up to my standards. Of course he is! He isn't aware of what a catch he is, coming from a family where there is emotional abuse and so much bitchiness.
I had to send Punk home around 7. My dog was having a rough night. I think her stomach was upset. Not sure why. She's so high strung. Perhaps having had the poodle here for 9 or 10 days, then my 2 beaux over, and Pixi away, threw her off her routine too much. She's 14 and a creature of habit, lol
(As Punk was leaving with his keys in his hand, I noticed a cute little wooden piece hanging on it, with 2 colors of wood. Of course he'd made it. I said, I want one! And I just noticed this morning, he's already made it and put a pic of it on Instagram, saying it's for Magdlyn.
)So Punk left, and I went down to the family room to watch TV, basically just so the dog would settle. She always loves when Pixi and I head downstairs after dinner for a little TV or a movie. It's like, she likes to get the pack all together in the den, so she can let her herding instincts relax, and go to sleep! Little bugger, lol.
I texted with Arjun around 9. We complimented each other. He wanted to make sure Punk had also had fun, felt good about it all. I assured him he had been pleased to meet him, and enjoyed the sex. When I complimented Arjun on what we'd done, he said, All for you. When you are happy, we are all happy. Awww!
Yesterday I decided to send him a slightly naughty pic. When he got it, he said, Is this my prize? I said, well, you deserve a better prize than that! Then he said, I have something for you too. I will give it to you next time. Hm! I wonder what it is!
Now today, I am not sure what to do. I had plans to go see my son to go swimming at his local pond, but wouldn't you know we are having a rare overcast day. It's only in the 60s and not expected to clear up or get above 72. So I am going to postpone the visit til next week when we are high 80s and 90s again.
I could text Punk or Arjun... see if anyone wants to visit, but I had a guest for dinner last night and maybe just want a day to myself.
Oh yeah, I wanted to mention... on our 2nd and 3rd dates, Arjun told me he loves me. I am taking it with a grain of salt. A young passionate man who has found the sex partner of his dreams, apparently, in me. He's overwhelmed with lust for me. Still, it's kinda cute and nice to be so appreciated.
I told Punk that Arjun had already told me he loves me. Punk had apparently been thinking about our talk about LOVE that we had a week or two ago, where I explained it doesn't mean lifetime commitment for me, in the way it does for him. When I told him Arjun had already said it, he kind of laughed it off, and called it lust. But then he went on to say, he'd been thinking of how I love, what it means to me, and by my definition, he does love me. One of these days, maybe he will just come out and say, "I love you," lol.
I could text Punk or Arjun... see if anyone wants to visit, but I had a guest for dinner last night and maybe just want a day to myself.
Oh yeah, I wanted to mention... on our 2nd and 3rd dates, Arjun told me he loves me. I am taking it with a grain of salt. A young passionate man who has found the sex partner of his dreams, apparently, in me. He's overwhelmed with lust for me. Still, it's kinda cute and nice to be so appreciated.
I told Punk that Arjun had already told me he loves me. Punk had apparently been thinking about our talk about LOVE that we had a week or two ago, where I explained it doesn't mean lifetime commitment for me, in the way it does for him. When I told him Arjun had already said it, he kind of laughed it off, and called it lust. But then he went on to say, he'd been thinking of how I love, what it means to me, and by my definition, he does love me. One of these days, maybe he will just come out and say, "I love you," lol.
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Well, goodness, a lot of things have suddenly happened! Let me start at the beginning. I will break it into three posts.
My instinct to not invite either of the guys over for Saturday night was a good one. I had had K over for dinner on Friday night, to send her off for the one week of counseling at camp she was going to do. Felt like I'd had plenty of socialising.
Well, Arjun has his sister and her family still visiting him, so I figured he'd be busy entertaining them for their second weekend before returning home. But I didn't text Punk either. I just enjoyed some me-time.
But, unexpectedly, at 10:15 that night (Sat), Pixi called me from the road. She had suddenly been given the night and next day off at camp, and was on her way home! So I hopped in the shower and primped a little.
She didn't seem as exhausted as last weekend. Maybe the recent cooler weather we'd been having, helped. Also several more kids with psychological issues had been sent home earlier in the week, and so the remaining kids were all just having fun and not being so needy or having extreme cliques and fights over who is whose boyfriend or girlfriend. Teenagers! They are 15 and under. They have a relationship for an hour, and then move on, with much angst. One attractive boy in particular, was going from girl to girl like a kid in a candy store.
So, we chatted from 11 to midnight, and I was really ready for bed. Pixi stayed up an hour or so longer. Around 2:30 am she woke me sleep talking, then got out of bed and sleep walked towards her dressing room (our tiny 3rd bedroom). The cellar stairs are right there, and are often open so I hopped out of bed to follow her!
She was talking in her sleep, thinking she was at camp. It was kinda funny. I kept saying Pixi! You're home, this is Mags, wake up! After a minute she came awake and went to the bathroom and came back to bed. I fell back to sleep too.
In the morning she didn't remember the details of what happened. We had a chuckle. Then we had a big breakfast and talked some... then we both got tired again and had a nap around noon. It was so nice just to cuddle her and relax together. When we got up, we had a shower together, but oddly, even though washing each other was lovely, even though she kind of offered to have sex, I wasn't in the right headspace. I think because she is so in the throes of all the personalities and activities of camp, and I am just coming down off the high of the threesome with the guys, and just in general moderate NRE with Arjun. But it was fine with Pixi. We really bonded just from talking and sleeping together, cuddling and loving each other up. She headed back out around 5, planning on meeting some of the other counselors for dinner again too, like last week, before actually going to camp.
One more week of camp to go! So, that was Part 1, on to Part 2.
My instinct to not invite either of the guys over for Saturday night was a good one. I had had K over for dinner on Friday night, to send her off for the one week of counseling at camp she was going to do. Felt like I'd had plenty of socialising.
Well, Arjun has his sister and her family still visiting him, so I figured he'd be busy entertaining them for their second weekend before returning home. But I didn't text Punk either. I just enjoyed some me-time.
But, unexpectedly, at 10:15 that night (Sat), Pixi called me from the road. She had suddenly been given the night and next day off at camp, and was on her way home!
So I hopped in the shower and primped a little.She didn't seem as exhausted as last weekend. Maybe the recent cooler weather we'd been having, helped. Also several more kids with psychological issues had been sent home earlier in the week, and so the remaining kids were all just having fun and not being so needy or having extreme cliques and fights over who is whose boyfriend or girlfriend. Teenagers! They are 15 and under. They have a relationship for an hour, and then move on, with much angst.
One attractive boy in particular, was going from girl to girl like a kid in a candy store.So, we chatted from 11 to midnight, and I was really ready for bed. Pixi stayed up an hour or so longer. Around 2:30 am she woke me sleep talking, then got out of bed and sleep walked towards her dressing room (our tiny 3rd bedroom). The cellar stairs are right there, and are often open so I hopped out of bed to follow her!
She was talking in her sleep, thinking she was at camp. It was kinda funny. I kept saying Pixi! You're home, this is Mags, wake up! After a minute she came awake and went to the bathroom and came back to bed. I fell back to sleep too.
In the morning she didn't remember the details of what happened. We had a chuckle. Then we had a big breakfast and talked some... then we both got tired again and had a nap around noon. It was so nice just to cuddle her and relax together. When we got up, we had a shower together, but oddly, even though washing each other was lovely, even though she kind of offered to have sex, I wasn't in the right headspace. I think because she is so in the throes of all the personalities and activities of camp, and I am just coming down off the high of the threesome with the guys, and just in general moderate NRE with Arjun. But it was fine with Pixi. We really bonded just from talking and sleeping together, cuddling and loving each other up. She headed back out around 5, planning on meeting some of the other counselors for dinner again too, like last week, before actually going to camp.
One more week of camp to go! So, that was Part 1, on to Part 2.
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Yesterday I went grocery shopping and made a nice dinner for myself, and baked a pie. I love to bake. I used a can of peach pie filling and half a box of fresh blueberries. It was yum. Then I just watched some nice brainless TV and enjoyed my peace. The dog was calm and my back was OK and I managed a good 8 hours straight of sleep, despite the long nap with Pixi earlier!
This morning I felt refreshed, and motivated to get in touch with Punk and Arjun and make dates for the week ahead. I texted Arjun first, thinking, since he is new, he gets priority for a while as we build something. He wrote back quickly and said I could see him whenever I wanted.
Also, when we had chatted on Friday, I had sent him a rather discreet nude selfie. I am an artist and am really enjoying doing self portraits, aka selfies. I know almost everyone takes them. I sometimes feel narcissistic when I do it, but I had the revelation that artists have always done self portraits. We are our own most available model, after all!
So besides saying I could see him whenever I wanted, Arjun asked, could he "please" have another picture? So, I obliged, and he praised it and said he was a lucky man.
I asked if he was free today, but he wasn't. Could we do tomorrow (Monday)? I said, OK, will it just be for quickie sex or could he stay longer to do some other things? I suggested a hike, thrift store shopping, dinner, a movie at home.
He then said, (ugh, get ready), he "...would like to keep it sexual. You are very attractive and I enjoy hanging out with you." He had just started seeing someone else. In his rather incorrect second language of English, he said, "And it would be tough to spend longer times. I hope you don't mind."
Of course this felt like a sucker punch. I said, "Oh!" After a minute I said, "Oh dear, this is quite upsetting. Not that you are also seeing someone else, but that you are just using my body."
Then he fell all over himself apologising and saying he didn't mean it like that at all. He just meant it would be harder to hang out longer "at this point."
Well! I said, we need to talk this over in person. And we set a time for tomorrow at 3 in the afternoon. I was a bit short with him. About a half hour later, having had time to feel and think, I told him I wasn't angry, just confused, and I was sure we could work it out. He wrote back to say he was confused too, and apologised nicely again. And affirmed we would talk tomorrow.
So, that's the deets on that. I am feeling... odd. This was the first I learned he was still looking for others, in the midst of starting with me, and meeting Punk and all. I wonder if he's looking for a younger girl for wife material? On our first date, he told me he wanted to get married and have kids eventually, definitely. I wonder if she knows about me, I wonder how many times they have seen each other, etc., etc. Has he told Her he loves her in the midst of passionate sex?
Sigh and LOL. Kids these days. If all else fails, at least I got the MFM checked off my bucket list.
He does seem to be a very smart and polite young man though, as Punk and I have both noticed, so maybe we just need to work on boundaries and schedules. We will see! Early days yet!
Part 3 next
This morning I felt refreshed, and motivated to get in touch with Punk and Arjun and make dates for the week ahead. I texted Arjun first, thinking, since he is new, he gets priority for a while as we build something. He wrote back quickly and said I could see him whenever I wanted.
Also, when we had chatted on Friday, I had sent him a rather discreet nude selfie. I am an artist and am really enjoying doing self portraits, aka selfies. I know almost everyone takes them. I sometimes feel narcissistic when I do it, but I had the revelation that artists have always done self portraits. We are our own most available model, after all!
So besides saying I could see him whenever I wanted, Arjun asked, could he "please" have another picture? So, I obliged, and he praised it and said he was a lucky man.
I asked if he was free today, but he wasn't. Could we do tomorrow (Monday)? I said, OK, will it just be for quickie sex or could he stay longer to do some other things? I suggested a hike, thrift store shopping, dinner, a movie at home.
He then said, (ugh, get ready), he "...would like to keep it sexual. You are very attractive and I enjoy hanging out with you." He had just started seeing someone else. In his rather incorrect second language of English, he said, "And it would be tough to spend longer times. I hope you don't mind."
Of course this felt like a sucker punch. I said, "Oh!" After a minute I said, "Oh dear, this is quite upsetting. Not that you are also seeing someone else, but that you are just using my body."
Then he fell all over himself apologising and saying he didn't mean it like that at all. He just meant it would be harder to hang out longer "at this point."
Well! I said, we need to talk this over in person. And we set a time for tomorrow at 3 in the afternoon. I was a bit short with him. About a half hour later, having had time to feel and think, I told him I wasn't angry, just confused, and I was sure we could work it out. He wrote back to say he was confused too, and apologised nicely again. And affirmed we would talk tomorrow.
So, that's the deets on that. I am feeling... odd. This was the first I learned he was still looking for others, in the midst of starting with me, and meeting Punk and all. I wonder if he's looking for a younger girl for wife material? On our first date, he told me he wanted to get married and have kids eventually, definitely. I wonder if she knows about me, I wonder how many times they have seen each other, etc., etc. Has he told Her he loves her in the midst of passionate sex?
Sigh and LOL. Kids these days. If all else fails, at least I got the MFM checked off my bucket list.
He does seem to be a very smart and polite young man though, as Punk and I have both noticed, so maybe we just need to work on boundaries and schedules. We will see! Early days yet!
Part 3 next
So, meanwhile I was also FB chatting with my dear sister in Fla, as we do about everyday. We were just talking about a movie she'd gone to see with her husband the previous night, and her plans to have her SIL and her newish bf over for a family dinner soon. Yada yada...
Then I got a text back from Punk. He couldn't seem me today, he was busy. His mom had suddenly died! Brain death. She is still on a respirator, it happened at 4AM this morning.
I expressed my shock. He said he was in shock as well. I asked where he was. He said, he was home now, and going to try to sleep a bit so he and his dad could take care of arrangements later.
Ugh. This is going to be so hard for him. Of course, he knew it was inevitable, but he didn't really get to say goodbye, I guess. There is so much baggage there, since she was such a bitter abusive mother. I am so glad he started therapy about 6 weeks ago, and has a good foundation. His mom's family is also annoying, loud voiced Italians, they say anything that comes to mind, at the top of their lungs, like his mom. At least one aunt and uncle use him as a whipping boy like his mom did.
Did.
Wow. I hope no one is too hard on him. I hope he can come here for peace and love and understanding and comfort, soon. Unlike some men, he does like to talk things out. I hope that remains and he will come here and unload on me.
I got to tell my sister all about this (the Punk part, I didn't bother her with th Arjun part). She was a good support. She wondered why the mom was still on a respirator, but we reckoned it was so she had the appearance of some life for the rest of the family to come say their goodbyes.
I wish I would be welcome at the wake (if any) and funeral, but I've never met his family. He seems to prefer to keep our happiness separate from the misery at home.
Then I got a text back from Punk. He couldn't seem me today, he was busy. His mom had suddenly died! Brain death. She is still on a respirator, it happened at 4AM this morning.
I expressed my shock. He said he was in shock as well. I asked where he was. He said, he was home now, and going to try to sleep a bit so he and his dad could take care of arrangements later.
Ugh. This is going to be so hard for him. Of course, he knew it was inevitable, but he didn't really get to say goodbye, I guess. There is so much baggage there, since she was such a bitter abusive mother. I am so glad he started therapy about 6 weeks ago, and has a good foundation. His mom's family is also annoying, loud voiced Italians, they say anything that comes to mind, at the top of their lungs, like his mom. At least one aunt and uncle use him as a whipping boy like his mom did.
Did.
Wow. I hope no one is too hard on him. I hope he can come here for peace and love and understanding and comfort, soon. Unlike some men, he does like to talk things out. I hope that remains and he will come here and unload on me.
I got to tell my sister all about this (the Punk part, I didn't bother her with th Arjun part). She was a good support. She wondered why the mom was still on a respirator, but we reckoned it was so she had the appearance of some life for the rest of the family to come say their goodbyes.
I wish I would be welcome at the wake (if any) and funeral, but I've never met his family. He seems to prefer to keep our happiness separate from the misery at home.
The day was weird. In the afternoon, another young man from OKC messaged me and we talked for a while there. Finally after some time had passed, I felt he was worthy of my phone number, and so we texted some.
Well, it was a good distraction from worrying about Punk, missing Pixi, being kinda pissed at Arjun.
This new guy is local too, and we set up a lunch date for Tuesday. I think he is used to being mono.
This evening I watched a movie on TV for a while, but it's been hard to concentrate. I came up here and checked Arjun's profile on Fet. He had joined 2 local BDSM groups, and friended 4 local women, all on the day of our threesome date! I find that hard to wrap my head around. Either just before or just after that special event (or at least it was kinda special to me), he was online chasing 4 more women and joining groups that are like places to leave classified ads for local BDSM.
And now today he says he can only come over for a quickie sex date tomorrow because he is seeing someone else. Maybe he felt like #3 because I have Pixi and Punk? He's gotta get even? Well, it's not going to matter if he just wants a cheap piece of ass. Because that woman isn't me.
Hmph. If he's just some privileged big dicked man whore who wants a different woman every night, forget it. That is way too reminiscent of my psycho ex.
Well, it was a good distraction from worrying about Punk, missing Pixi, being kinda pissed at Arjun.
This new guy is local too, and we set up a lunch date for Tuesday. I think he is used to being mono.
This evening I watched a movie on TV for a while, but it's been hard to concentrate. I came up here and checked Arjun's profile on Fet. He had joined 2 local BDSM groups, and friended 4 local women, all on the day of our threesome date! I find that hard to wrap my head around. Either just before or just after that special event (or at least it was kinda special to me), he was online chasing 4 more women and joining groups that are like places to leave classified ads for local BDSM.
And now today he says he can only come over for a quickie sex date tomorrow because he is seeing someone else. Maybe he felt like #3 because I have Pixi and Punk? He's gotta get even? Well, it's not going to matter if he just wants a cheap piece of ass. Because that woman isn't me.
Hmph. If he's just some privileged big dicked man whore who wants a different woman every night, forget it. That is way too reminiscent of my psycho ex.
Arjun had told me he'd come over at 3, but around 1:30 he texted me and said he got done work early and he could come over sooner.
So he got here at 2 and I got to the bottom of the problem. He's Indian... I was thinking about whether we'd have a culture clash.
Turns out his family is pressuring him to get married and have babies. Sometimes they set him up with Indian young women who go to local temples or whatever. So, he is seeing a girl, someone another Indian guy friend set him up with. They have been dating 2 months. Not having sex, just a little kissing I guess. Sounds like tradition requires you don't have sex until the wedding night. He's not sure she's the One, but he's doing his thing the way the family wants, according to tradition. He said she even needs to be the right sun sign and all to get approval for marriage.
When I found this out for sure, I told him I could not continue to see him. He was so sweet, apologising all over the place for hurting me. We ended up just having a nice talk about Indian culture, and relationships and whatnot. He said he really likes me. I said I liked him too. It was sad to have to tell him I couldn't be the secret woman on the side. Too bad he didn't tell me this on our first date.
He says he wants to stay friends, meet for lunch now and then. Maybe empty words, but he is nice to talk to, maybe it will happen now and then.
I messaged Punk a kiss a bit ago, but he hasn't responded. I just need to be patient while he goes through this tough week of funeral stuff. sigh... I'm sure he's taking care of himself as he needs to.
I also texted New Guy after Arjun left. He responded right away and said he was tied up but would get back to me as soon as he could. Now, he told me yesterday he prefers older women. He doesn't seem in any kind of "must get married and have kids" mode. He's an American guy. This might work out better. He sent me pix of his apartment. Wow, is it ever nice. He is making good money for one so young. That's pretty cool.
So he got here at 2 and I got to the bottom of the problem. He's Indian... I was thinking about whether we'd have a culture clash.
Turns out his family is pressuring him to get married and have babies. Sometimes they set him up with Indian young women who go to local temples or whatever. So, he is seeing a girl, someone another Indian guy friend set him up with. They have been dating 2 months. Not having sex, just a little kissing I guess. Sounds like tradition requires you don't have sex until the wedding night. He's not sure she's the One, but he's doing his thing the way the family wants, according to tradition. He said she even needs to be the right sun sign and all to get approval for marriage.
When I found this out for sure, I told him I could not continue to see him. He was so sweet, apologising all over the place for hurting me. We ended up just having a nice talk about Indian culture, and relationships and whatnot. He said he really likes me. I said I liked him too. It was sad to have to tell him I couldn't be the secret woman on the side. Too bad he didn't tell me this on our first date.
He says he wants to stay friends, meet for lunch now and then. Maybe empty words, but he is nice to talk to, maybe it will happen now and then.
I messaged Punk a kiss a bit ago, but he hasn't responded. I just need to be patient while he goes through this tough week of funeral stuff. sigh... I'm sure he's taking care of himself as he needs to.
I also texted New Guy after Arjun left. He responded right away and said he was tied up but would get back to me as soon as he could. Now, he told me yesterday he prefers older women. He doesn't seem in any kind of "must get married and have kids" mode. He's an American guy. This might work out better. He sent me pix of his apartment. Wow, is it ever nice. He is making good money for one so young. That's pretty cool.