Next chapter

Oh, it's 7:30 AM and I sign on and here you all are with support. Thank you SO much!

Punk's loss and disappearance is all the harder since Pixi has been gone pretty much completely since late June. She and I love to cuddle and talk and process everything, and I am shriveling up dealing with what has been a LDR for weeks. The longest we'd ever been apart has been 10 days before this.

She got home from her music fest in upstate NY on Monday night at 10 PM, so we didn't end up having a nice dinner out for her birthday. I really lost it. She blamed rainstorms lengthening her trip, but then I found out she didn't leave her parents' place til 2 PM. It's a good 6 hour trip and she would have barely made it home in time... so I guess talking to her mom was more important than having a birthday dinner with me! That hurt, especially because she will be back at camp on MY birthday on August 6th. (And Pixi and I are going to her home area in NY for our own vacation in September and she will see her family then.)

I kind of lost it on her that night. And I went to bed without saying goodnight. She wouldn't watch the DNC with me (ever since Bernie lost, she can't stand politics), so I just told her to go talk to her (camp and NY) friends online. I watched Michelle's speech alone. Grrr.

Yesterday morning I had a terrible headache, and she was unloading her car, and I cried. Then we finally talked over breakfast for a half hour, she hugged me a little, and then she was packing and dressing and out the door by 1 PM. I told her I feel taken for granted alone here with the dog, and her being 90% incommunicado.

This week of camp was a last minute invitation. So I wasn't prepared for more time alone. She will be back Saturday July 30 and then back to camp on Aug 4 until the 15th. Then I will finally have her here except for a long weekend at Labor Day. After that we will take a vacation together.

So, no, I do not "have it all together" at the present time. I am proud of her for being so dedicated to the kids with challenges at her camp. But ugh, I miss her so much, and so does her dog, and that makes her dog cranky and barky and whiny and needy, and that just adds to my stress.

I might seem to have my shit together most of the time, but I guess it's just that I am an optimistic person, and I am older and have some experience with relationships, and I tend to look at the big picture. But this whole summer has been extremely challenging. Pixi gone, Punk grieving, the misunderstandings with Arjun. Not to mention my "female troubles." I had to have the tests postponed til Aug 22 since I just got on MassHealth and insurance won't fully cover things til Aug 1.

So... yeah. Punk is grieving. And I just bet he's off sex, and he doesn't want to let me down. Of course I wouldn't push sex on him if he's not wanting it! But he is used to women demanding he serve their needs.

(Thank god for this new thing with Steve, or I wouldn't be getting any sex. Pixi gave me some perfunctory sex last week, but I practically had to beg for it, since she was so tired. It was pretty bad sex, but better than nothing, I guess. I feel really bad for Feather who needs sex for comfort and has basically lost both her lovers at once. UGH!)

It does suck that Punk invited me to the wake and now won't even send me one line of text! I have texted him twice. After I saw his Instagram I texted to say I was glad he at least posted there so I know he is taking walks and working in his shop.

He must have made some money doing the contracting work with his friend and was able to afford the reciprocating saw. I remember he told me he couldn't use power tools much when his mom was alive as she would be bothered by the noise. So, he is enjoying his freedom to make noise.

I will wait a couple more days and text him again, specifically saying it's OK if he still needs space, but I miss him and I am here if he wants to talk. How he said he'd be in touch and I am sad he hasn't been. And that I won't pressure him for sex!
 
I'm sorry that life is so stressful at the moment :( It does seriously suck to be poly, but then have both of your main loves unavailable! Double the missing! I have no words of wisdom, just wanted to send ((Hugs))
 
Thanks Pink Pig.

Pixi texted me from camp this morning. She said the next session of camp starts August 6th and she doesn't need to be there 2 days early as she thought before. So, we will have a couple extra days next week to be together. I guess we can go out for that nice dinner on the 5th, the day before my birthday, so that is nice. We will have almost a whole week together once she gets home from the current session.

And Steve texted me last night... I saw it after I wrote the post above. He told me how much he appreciates me coming into his life and gave me some compliments. That also helped my mood.

Tomorrow is my son's birthday and I am planning a party for 8 people at the lake near his house. 2 of them are my baby granddaughters,who are 18 months and 4 months. The toddler is going to love the water! .:eek: Tonight I will bake a cake and make potato salad. Tomorrow I will make sandwiches. I found Son 3 nice like-new t-shirts at my thrift store for his gift.

If you are keeping track, yes, Pixi, Son and I all have birthdays in a row. lol
 
Damn, Mags! Big hugs from here...
Glad to hear that you and Pixi will have some time together, though... I hope you get some good reconnection time. I also hope Punk is able to work through his grief (and guilt, maybe? After being caretaker for a demanding parent/patient, the relief can be extremely guilt-inducing). Ugh. Hugs, hugs, hugs.

But yay Steve! And happy almost-birthday!! :)

(Gah, I really need to keep up a bit more... Bad YAH! No donut!)
 
I read too, but not the world's best poster and struggle with finding the right words.
I bet Ms Pixie is missing the hell out of you too.
I know how rotten it feels when a loved one decided to fall off off the map and I am sorry you have to go through it while Ms Pixie is away too.
Can you do some nice things for yourself? You are truly worth it. The party with grandbabies should be a blast. I hope you have fun.
 
YouAreHere said:
Damn, Mags! Big hugs from here...
Glad to hear that you and Pixi will have some time together, though... I hope you get some good reconnection time. I also hope Punk is able to work through his grief (and guilt, maybe? After being caretaker for a demanding parent/patient, the relief can be extremely guilt-inducing). Ugh. Hugs, hugs, hugs.
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Oh yes, guilt all right. He admitted right away that was a major feeling he was having. He admitted that, back when he was still talking to me!

But yay Steve! And happy almost-birthday!! :)

(Gah, I really need to keep up a bit more... Bad YAH! No donut!)
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YaH, you always get a donut from me.


Atlantis said:
I read too, but not the world's best poster and struggle with finding the right words.
I bet Ms Pixie is missing the hell out of you too.
I know how rotten it feels when a loved one decided to fall off off the map and I am sorry you have to go through it while Ms Pixie is away too.
Can you do some nice things for yourself? You are truly worth it. The party with grandbabies should be a blast. I hope you have fun.
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Thanks Atlantis. Pixi is missing me. Luckily she isn't all that busy at camp this week. All she is required to do this time is teach archery in the afternoons, she has her own cabin and everything. She has had more time to text me and keep in touch, and sending me lots of love. She had a close encounter with a fox! She was out having her last cigarette of the night and a fox literally brushed right past her leg. Then it stopped a few feet away, and she shone her flashlight near it, and they stared at each other for a minute.

Her more relaxing week should mean she has more energy for me when she gets home, which should be tomorrow...

Steve sent me more friendly messages and asked when I'd be free to come play with him. I suggested today, but he admitted later he isn't feeling so great after all (chemo treatments, poor kid, god I hope he beats his stomach cancer), and I told him to let me know how he is doing today.

Spooky thing: on our last date he told me how much he loves Bob Dylan. The next day, I was walking the dog and found a postcard of a young Bob Dylan under a bush. I picked it up. I texted him a photo of it, and he said he used to have that identical picture on his wall for many years!

The lake birthday party went off great! Everyone loved my food, Son loved his t-shirts, they were just what he wanted/needed. The babies were gorgeous and fun and a delight. It was great to see how Little E had grown, to see her smile and coo, and Big E had such fun in the sand and water. Big E looks just like her mommy, who looks just like me. So funny to see my genes passed down. Everyone expressed appreciation at me getting the gang all together for a fun and bonding day. It's been so hot, over 90 everyday, so the lake water was SO warm and pleasant. We just swam and floated on noodles and talked and joked and took delight in the toddler. I am glad I get along OK with my ex h and his gf too. Grateful for family!

Big E gave me such a warm cuddly hug when it was time to say goodbye. She is such a cool kid, strong, smart, brave and funny.
 
I'm also guilty of reading your blog and not writing, Mags. You always seem so together to me. I love reading about your adventures. It's such an inspiration when sometimes I feel surrounded by people who keep telling me that when I reach my 50s, I'll feel the same way as them and will realise that I'm too old to do anything new or have any new adventures.

I love to have the stories from you and from my older and still adventurous friends to counter the sadly common view that women should stay home, watch telly and cook things as they age - rather than seeing later life as a time for adventure and new experiences.

I hope that Punk gets in touch with you soon and that you get to spend some extra time with Miss P.

IP
 
InfinitePossibility said:
I'm also guilty of reading your blog and not writing, Mags. You always seem so together to me. I love reading about your adventures. It's such an inspiration when sometimes I feel surrounded by people who keep telling me that when I reach my 50s, I'll feel the same way as them and will realise that I'm too old to do anything new or have any new adventures.

I love to have the stories from you and from my older and still adventurous friends to counter the sadly common view that women should stay home, watch telly and cook things as they age - rather than seeing later life as a time for adventure and new experiences.
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That's one reason I date younger people! I don't feel old in my head. I feel youthful, but with more wisdom than I had in my earlier years. Better boundaries, etc. But I do have lots of enthusiasm for adventure and novelty and making new friends and lovers who enrich my life.

I do love to cook and watch telly too though, don't get me wrong lol. When Pixi gets back we will spend hours binge watching the new season of Orange is the New Black. We also just heard about Sense8 by the Wachowskis and are eager to get into that.

My parents were adventurers well into their 70s. They were taking trips to Spain and Morocco, England and Australia when they were older than me!
I hope that Punk gets in touch with you soon...
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Thanks. God, I hope so too. I am just so sad I haven't seen him in 2 whole weeks. I used to try and imagine what he would be like when his mother died. Now I know. :( I am trying to believe he will come back to me. He's given me several gifts of his woodworking, a key fob, a plate rack for my glassware, 2 wall plaques, plus a silver ring he made from a coin. I look at those, and wear the ring, and try to remember he loves me... I recall how he reached out to me from the receiving line at the wake, and I cuddled into his arm, and he told his dad I was his girlfriend... sigh, sigh.:(

...and that you get to spend some extra time with Miss P.
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I didn't hear from her last night, but 2 nights ago she said the campers leave today, and so she should be here late this afternoon! I am dying for cuddles. At least at the lake party, I got big smooshy hugs from Son and granddaughter Big E.

Steve wants to see me in the coming week too. I will have to try and fit him in around work and hanging out with Pixi. I want to take her to the lake to hang with Son, and also down to the beach in Rhode Island to swim and relax and see my friend R!

The 2 political conventions have entertained me the past couple weeks. Well, also scared me (Trump is a MONSTER). But then I'd go watch Stephen Colbert's comedy on what happened that day to cheer up and get perspective.
 
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Of course - people of all ages like to watch telly and cook. It's just that some people seem to expect their lives to close in around them once they get older.

My parents were the same. My dad was an older father so by the time we all grew up, he was retired. At that point, free of having to be active parents, my parents went off around the world and on cycling tours of the remoter parts of Scotland.

I like to find more and more older people who remain adventurous because I'd rather end up like those people than like the folks who let ageing shrink their world.

I agree with you. The Trump thing is terrifying. Loads of people in the UK are worried about it. Although, things are little better here. We almost had a PM who even looks a bit like Trump - Boris Johnson. He's not the PM but he is the Foreign Secretary. :confused:
 
I've seen that guy on the telly, lol. But you have a woman PM now... and the Brexit thing sounds weird and upsetting to your economy!
 
We do have a woman PM. We've had a woman PM before - she was pretty awful. Did lots of work to dismantle the welfare state, privatise everything she could and generally make life more difficult for the poorest in our country. We've never really recovered from her. Not sure if another right wing female PM is going to be a good thing.

The Brexit stuff is fascinating. The vote was to leave Europe at which point the PM resigned. Then Boris Johnston pulled out of the leadership race to replace the PM having spent months saying we should leave Europe. The leader of one of the other parties who'd done the same thing resigned too. There seems to be no clear plan for how the UK can actually leave Europe.

The opposition party meanwhile have collapsed. The parliamentary MPs in the party passed a vote of no confidence in their leader. The election is ongoing to deal with that but most polls have shown that the leader how was just removed will win - because most party members like him even if the MPs don't.

Meanwhile, in Scotland, our leader is working hard to try and find a way for us to stay in Europe and it seems likely that she'll push for another referendum for Scotland to leave the UK (or at the very least for Scotland to stay in the EU and for the Scottish parliament to have more powers).

Politically we are in turmoil just now and it isn't clear how it will all end up.
 
Thanks for those details, IP. I knew the general gist, as I have been listening to our national public radio (NPR) when I drive almost non stop the past month or so because of our insane election year. There is more world news there than we get on CNN or anywhere else.

Being "old" I totally remember Margaret Thatcher, the Iron Maiden or whatever they called her. Ugh. The punks were a rebellion against her policies and I was a punk back then.

I feel so let down by the right wingers in Britain. I thought you all were over this kind of petty shit. It's very disappointing. But we are in the same boat here. Right wingers, xenophobia, racist cops, etc., etc.

In better news, Pixi got home yesterday! We had a nap together in the afternoon, then we went out for our nice surf and turf dinner. Her idea, she didn't want to wait. So that was her belated birthday celebration, and she wants to take me out for sushi before she leaves, for my birthday, since sushi is my favorite.

Unfortunately she has a throat infection. She's had a sore throat all week and today she's going to go to urgent care. Maybe she needs an antibiotic. Well, she can rest while I work my job the next 2 days. And I am going to go see Steve on Wednesday too, probably for the afternoon, that has been our pattern so far. Maybe Thursday Pixi will be up for the ocean or the lake. :)
 
We've had a fairly right wing government for the last few years and they've left the poorest in an awful state and the papers and various members of our government somehow managed to convince them than it was all the fault of the EU. Rather than our own government policies. EU grants were shoring up our poorest areas. It's horrible how they've managed to convince people to vote to make things much worse for themselves.
 
Confused said:
We've had a fairly right wing government for the last few years and they've left the poorest in an awful state and the papers and various members of our government somehow managed to convince them than it was all the fault of the EU. Rather than our own government policies. EU grants were shoring up our poorest areas. It's horrible how they've managed to convince people to vote to make things much worse for themselves.
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That does suck! In the Western world, just when I think things are getting better (civil rights for minorities, progress in legalisation of cannabis, steps towards universal health care, etc.), the right wingers make us all take a huge step back. Bernie loses to Hillary. Trump tweets and acts gross, and stirs up rage and fear.

Back to my own little, confusing world again: Sunday night, Pixi and I talked over Punk's disappearance since the wake. It was so good to get her feedback and hugs and concern again! It has been so hard to have her gone just when Punk lost his mom and ghosted on me.

So far, I'd just written Punk 3 short texts of support. I didn't want to "bother" him with my concern.

Pixi encouraged me to speak more boldly and at length. So I sent him a series of texts. Unfortunately, opening up to Pixi about this struggle I've been basically doing alone, with her away at work for weeks, and Punk basically abandoning me, opened the floodgates. After I wrote to him, we watched a couple episodes of OITNB. Then I went to bed, but as soon as I was settled I started sobbing. Pixi heard and came and held me, but I barely slept all night. And wouldn't you know, I had to work early for once; I almost always work evenings. I got through the day on 3 hours' sleep.

But it was worth it. The longer messages worked! He wrote back yesterday morning at 10 when I was at work. Luckily the kids were busy for the moment with some independent play with toys I brought, so we had time for an actual conversation.

I had told him I was here for him in whatever capacity he needed, or I'd step back if he really didn't want to connect. And that he definitely didn't need to think, if we did get together, that he "owed" me any kind of "entertainment" or sex. (I'd spent time last week with my RI friend who lost both her parents in 6 months, and she told me how she'd gone off sex for a while, so I was reminded to mention that to Punk.)

So, he said he was deep in his head lately. How his life has completely changed. Basically he is feeling the sky is the limit now that he is free of his controlling mother. So he is spending time thinking of the many life goals that he has put on the back burner, and which to pursue now. He even mentioned moving to Montreal! (Of course, I am thinking this is pie in the sky, as you can't just move to Canada these days without a firm job offer, and you don't get government benefits until you've actually become a citisen, etc.)

So, when I saw him messaging, I acknowledged his feelings, and eventually mentioned that I wondered if I still had a place in his life. He said, he couldn't make any blanket promises. He's too deep in his own head. He cares about me, he liked coming here, "it's helpful to know I miss and value" him, he likes hanging out with Pixi, but he is deep into "what makes me, me."

I know his head is swirling with possibilities right now, and actually wondering who he is! So I didn't say how that hurt. But in my head, I was disappointed and thinking, 9 months of a relationship, seeing each other twice a week from the very start, means so little to him in terms of craving my company, appreciating all the attention I've given him as he struggled with his mom's illness, that I am that low on his radar, seemingly that unimportant to him. Ugh. It feels like rejection and loss. We weren't on the relationship escalator, but I definitely do not like NSA/casual relationships, and it felt like that is all I am to him. Just someone to have a little fun with.

But I am trying real hard to not take it personally. I didn't tell him I was hurt. I said, I was at work, the kids were needing me (which was now true), I'd message him in the evening.

So I did. And I fit him into the schedule for my week, which has gotten so busy. Pixi is back this week and I want to spend quality time with her, I am working two days doing childcare (yesterday and today 815-215), I am also dogsitting for pay, I want to see Steve tomorrow (Wednesday). Pixi and I want to go to RI on Thursday, either to go antiquing or to the beach, or both, if my RI friend R is free for a beach trip. Friday Pixi and I will finally have a whole day together, and go out for dinner for my birthday.

So I managed to nail down Steve for an afternoon date tomorrow, starting at 2. I can stay there 3 hours, then come home from Boston and have Punk over at 7. It will be kinda good to see Steve first, and have some sex, so I am not yearning for Punk to touch me. :rolleyes: Plus, as I told Pixi, I need to nurture this blossoming relationship with Steve, as she will be gone again for another week, Punk is doing his own thing-- I need a new lover/friend!

I know I need to be really patient with Punk. He has months/years ahead of him reshaping his life, supporting his dad as he grieves, and reshaping their relationship, struggling with his survivor guilt, relief, grief. I somehow had wished he would lean on me, enjoy my support and caring. He is a talker and I'd hoped he'd open up to me as he makes this transition. I hope when he is here, he will benefit from talking to me (and Pixi), and realise I am of value to him still.

Pixi reminded me of how our friend Teddy struggled with rebuilding his life when his marriage fell apart after a 12 year relationship, and how he also had these dreams of "moving to Canada," etc., and yet, now, 2 years later, he has settled in Boston with new roommates and new, more practical goals for his life.
 
Yeah hopefully he will settle down. It's possible he'll reach out and grab some Big New Stuff to fill the now vacant space left behind by the removal of the Mom-clutter in his reality... It's also possible he'll try some things and end up biting off too much and having to dial it back.

Sounds like right now he's just kind of questioning everything. That is fairly common following a major life event. I hope he finds his answers and that those answers come to include continuing the relationship with you.

In the meantime if you find yourself doubting your own feelings or questioning if you've got a right to any of them, I'd say to remember that it's perfectly justifiable to feel insecure when a relationship lacks security. The game board has been shaken and the pieces haven't stopped rolling and spinning, you really have no way to know where you stand until he's ready to tell you.

It may be worthwhile to seek a means to express that to him, and that although you understand that he's in his head a lot lately, you're a real actual person, you live in YOUR head looking out from behind your own eyeballs, and it would be considerate and appreciated if he'd share his thoughts from time to time, regarding changes in his life that affect you, because he is a meaningful part of your life. And simply ~not knowing~...hurts.
 
Spork said:
... The game board has been shaken and the pieces haven't stopped rolling and spinning, you really have no way to know where you stand until he's ready to tell you.

It may be worthwhile to seek a means to express that to him, and that although you understand that he's in his head a lot lately, you're a real actual person, you live in YOUR head looking out from behind your own eyeballs, and it would be considerate and appreciated if he'd share his thoughts from time to time, regarding changes in his life that affect you, because he is a meaningful part of your life. And simply ~not knowing~...hurts.
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Thanks, Spork. I kept your words in mind when I saw Punk last night.

To backtrack first: Steve ended up cancelling our date. He admitted he'd just had chemo the day before. Why he thought he'd be up for seeing me one day later, I do not know. Hopefully I can see him on Sunday.

It was just as well. It made my day less hectic. When I found out Steve couldn't see me, I dragged Pixi off to the bedroom for some playtime. I have been resisting being the Top, but really, it's the only thing that works with her. We had some reasonably good sex, considering she has a sinus infection, is still tired, and not recovered emotionally from all her camp and music fest experiences. It may not have been 100% physically satisfying for me, but it was 100% emotionally satisfying and cuddly, so it was a win.

After the sex, she needed a nap, since she'd been up and out very early for a therapy appointment. I puttered around, went out and ran some errands. When she got up, we did some needed household projects/chores together.

At 7 I was out sitting on the deck waiting for Punk. I didn't want us to be swarmed by dogs by having him come inside right away. So... a very good visit! Such a relief for me. It's so nice to be feeling more "normal" again, with Pixi home and seeing my Punk again!

We sat out there for a good hour, talking. Pixi came out briefly to say hi, then left us alone. I sat there, and was a calm space, and let him open up to me.

He cried a little when he told me his cat still goes into his mom's room and meows, "Maaaa Maaaa." He said he wished he could explain her disappearance to his cat. I said, he'll figure it out eventually.

He vented about his feelings, about his life being up in the air, how he wants to help his dad adjust, and help him do some home repairs. How maybe he wants to go back to college to learn new marketable skills. How a nice bike was left in his yard. "It fell from the sky" he said. It sat there for 3 days, then he claimed it as his own and has started riding.

Finally he told me his ex gf/fiancee had driven him home from the wake. And that he'd seen this old platonic female friend of his last week. She took him to the beach.

So I said, Hm, you've seen your friend, but you didn't want to see me? And I told him how I'd missed him so much, and how it was doubly hard with Pixi gone, how often I'd checked my phone longing for a text, etc. I didn't go on too long, I didn't want to heap any guilt on him, just remind him I am a person too, and I also get sad!

Then he told me why he'd stayed away. Partly, in his family, people run from emotions. But here's a weird bit. When I'd gone to the wake, I'd met a few of his relatives, and well... maybe during but definitely afterwards, gossip ran rampant amongst the huge family. Some of his aunts told him they thought he was "replacing" his mom with me, because of our age difference (19 years). And although he knows on one level it isn't true, it made him question our relationship, just because the aunts were so vocal about it. Ugh.

(They had also seen fit to tell him they thought it was weird his ex fiancee had driven him home from the wake. He needed a ride since he and his dad had come in the same car, but his dad wanted to stay behind to say goodbye alone to his mom when everyone left. Sheesh! His mom's family really are a bunch of bitches.)

So we talked over that... We reassured each other our age difference was irrelevant to our connection. Then he said, he also stayed away because the first week he was doing the contractor work all day, and falling into bed at night (which I knew). The second week though, he felt he "didn't want to burden" me with his issues. Oy. I had to explain how I am not in a relationship just for fun and games and entertainment. How friends support each other through the good and bad. How I've supported my exes, and Pixi, and my kids through all kinds of hard things. (Hell, as a La Leche League Leader, I have supported hundreds, thousands of women over 25 years, as they learn to be new breastfeeding mothers, and struggle with that transition.)

When I was telling him this, I got a little teary, and told him I loved him. He got this tender look in his eyes and scooched his chair over closer to mine and took my hand.

And then I said, I know you're off sex, and that's NORMAL. I don't think anyone is ever obligated to give me sex. At that point, he was acknowledging my affirmations about what I think a good friend does for a friend in need. But he seemed relieved when I brought up the sex bit. He said, he wasn't sure about the "romantic side" of our relationship right now. But since my words brought that stress of his out into the open, he said, he likes the romantic part. I said, Well. You're gonna get horny again sooner or later! He chuckled and said, Yeah.

Whew. I felt like a huge burden lifted off my shoulders. He promised he would keep coming over. :)

Pixi had ordered food from Papa John's and it arrived then. So she came out and we ate on the deck and talked of other things in a nice normal way. After she ate she went back inside and Punk and I kept talking until it was dark and the mosquitoes started biting.

Then we came inside and sat on the couch. I said, give me a hug! And we had a long warm hug. It felt so good. Then we just sat and chatted more with Pixi, talked about politics and stuff, just like we always do. We walked the dogs around the block and looked at the stars. We just acted normal, had a few laughs.

He left about 10. We went out on the front stoop and he leaned in and gave me a kiss, even slipped his tongue in my mouth for a second. Then we had another nice long hug. He said he'd be back.

Thanks be to all the gods, we seem to be back on track!
 
Aw... I'm happy for you and Pixi, and I'm also happy you and Punk were able to reconnect. It makes my heart all squishy. :D
 
I am so glad to hear all of this. It sounds like you did a damn good job of reminding Punk that you're there for him, you want to support him in hard times just as much as enjoying him in good ones, and that you do have feelings and needs that get dinged a bit when he pulls a vanishing act...and at the same time relieving pressures he was feeling.

That's just awesome, Mags.

As for Pixi, hey, you never know, if you got the endorphins going you might have actually relieved some of her sinus pain...hope she feels better soon.
 
Sounds like things with Punk resolved about as well as they possibly could! Awesome!
 
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