Hi everyone,
I am so desperate right now. I've tried my friends, family, psychologist, but nothing works. That's why I'm trying posting here and asking the PUA community - a community I was part of 4 years ago.
4 years ago, I had everything. I had girls begging for my attention, had dozens of fuck buddies and I was on the top of my game. I was always telling myself that I could never jump into a relationship, because a girl that would grab my attention simple didn't exist.
And then I met her - the prettiest girl on my university, with the greatest body, everyone wanted her. She immediately became my number one goal, but only in terms of sex, because I didn't know her personally. I knew I could get her with my game. And I got her.
But on our very first date, I felt this girl had everything I was looking for. She was extremely intelligent, spoke 5 languages fluently, was crazy and positive. We shared the same values and the same things fascinated us - especially small, unknown countries. This wasn't only a relationship material, this was a marriage material. I found my soulmate.
As years passed, we traveled half of the world together, experienced some really great and really bad moments (not in a relationship, but with health & work), that only strengthened us and I wanted to propose to her at the end of 2018. I always knew I wanted kids with this girl, I knew she would be a great mother and I wanted to put our shared values into our children.
It started to become worse 6 months ago. We both graduated and planned a huge trip around the world together. It was our last big trip before she started working full time and before I could concentrate more on my business.
2 days before our trip, I was offered a huge deal for a lot of money. It would include working on the trip, but not that much, just several hours per week. I asked her if I should do this, because I didn't want to ruin our trip, but it was so much money, that we could have a great start to our new life after the trip. She said I should take the deal and got excited about it.
The reality was different. I worked more than I expected and got really mad several times during our trip. It was still pretty good and we experienced great things. We came back home and the deal was off. They didn't pay me anything.
A new chapter started for us, we moved to a huge city, she started working full-time in her dream job and I was concentrating on my business, which wasn't going very well after the fraudulent deal. I lost a lot of money and I was working really hard to get it back and started several new projects, just to make us financially stable, because I knew we wanted a family soon. I often wasn't home, I traveled a lot and I was doing everything in my powers to make some money for our future life. I was telling her every single day that I was doing this for us, that it's just temporary and everything would change from 2018 and I meant it. I was often negative and I saw she became cold.
I tried to talk to her, asking why she became so cold and she always said that the spark between us has been disappearing. I was always asking her what should I do and she always replied: I don't know.
It was always 'I don't know'.
This was going on for 3 months (Oct, Nov, Dec) since we started the new chapter in a new city. I knew that 2018 would be different, I already planned a big surprise for her at the beginning of 2018. I did all the tough work in my job in 2017 and I felt that I would finally have more time for our relationship in 2018.
We even cuddled more during Christmas and were planning our next trip in the summer of 2018.
She broke up with me on January 2nd. She cried and told me she didn't see a future in our relationship for a very long time.
I got devastated. I visualized all the things we'd be doing in 2018, me finally having more time, finally exploring the city, the restaurants, the hidden gems. I'd finally give her everything. I really thought she understood I was working so hard the last couple of months because of us.
She sent me 2 long messages after the breakup, saying that she was thinking about breaking up for a long time and even though she might be doing the biggest mistake of her life, she understands the risk.
This gave me a false hope and I started to imagine how we're back together after she realized she really did the biggest mistake of her life.
Yesterday I had to meet her after 9 days because I needed to grab some stuff from our flat (I moved out the day after our breakup). She seemed completely fine. When I told her this was the last time we see each other, she said just 'bye'. No emotions, no tears, no hug, after 4 fucking years of this unique relationship.
I feel I became too obsessed with work in the last 6 months, but only because I cared too much about our future. I wanted to make money, so we can afford a mortgage and I wanted my children to have a normal, decent life. I feel that the 'essence of a man' disappeared from me and I feel terrible. I wasn't the man she met 4 years ago. I reacted in the exact opposite way as I should because I feared that it may worsen the relationship even more if I acted like a man. Realizing that, I feel absolutely terrible.
I am devastated. The false hope of us getting back together was the only thing that kept me motivated and I still can't lose it. I still imagine us being back together after she realizes that she lost the most precious thing she ever had. But I NEED to let it go. But how? It will only be more painful if I see her with another man while still having this fucking false hope inside me.
How do I get over this incredibly unique relationship with so many memories from around 30 countries in the world, our adventures, our happiness, our jokes, our crazy world nobody understood?
and since I'm writing to a PUA subreddit, How do I win her back? Should I try to win her back? How can I lose this fucking false hope that is making things bearable in the short-term, but can devastate me even more in the long-term?
I'd appreciate any kind of help or response, especially from people that went through something similar. I know how things work in theory (I did pickup 3 years before this relationship), but it's really hard to apply them when you're feeling so low.
Thank you.
I am so desperate right now. I've tried my friends, family, psychologist, but nothing works. That's why I'm trying posting here and asking the PUA community - a community I was part of 4 years ago.
4 years ago, I had everything. I had girls begging for my attention, had dozens of fuck buddies and I was on the top of my game. I was always telling myself that I could never jump into a relationship, because a girl that would grab my attention simple didn't exist.
And then I met her - the prettiest girl on my university, with the greatest body, everyone wanted her. She immediately became my number one goal, but only in terms of sex, because I didn't know her personally. I knew I could get her with my game. And I got her.
But on our very first date, I felt this girl had everything I was looking for. She was extremely intelligent, spoke 5 languages fluently, was crazy and positive. We shared the same values and the same things fascinated us - especially small, unknown countries. This wasn't only a relationship material, this was a marriage material. I found my soulmate.
As years passed, we traveled half of the world together, experienced some really great and really bad moments (not in a relationship, but with health & work), that only strengthened us and I wanted to propose to her at the end of 2018. I always knew I wanted kids with this girl, I knew she would be a great mother and I wanted to put our shared values into our children.
It started to become worse 6 months ago. We both graduated and planned a huge trip around the world together. It was our last big trip before she started working full time and before I could concentrate more on my business.
2 days before our trip, I was offered a huge deal for a lot of money. It would include working on the trip, but not that much, just several hours per week. I asked her if I should do this, because I didn't want to ruin our trip, but it was so much money, that we could have a great start to our new life after the trip. She said I should take the deal and got excited about it.
The reality was different. I worked more than I expected and got really mad several times during our trip. It was still pretty good and we experienced great things. We came back home and the deal was off. They didn't pay me anything.
A new chapter started for us, we moved to a huge city, she started working full-time in her dream job and I was concentrating on my business, which wasn't going very well after the fraudulent deal. I lost a lot of money and I was working really hard to get it back and started several new projects, just to make us financially stable, because I knew we wanted a family soon. I often wasn't home, I traveled a lot and I was doing everything in my powers to make some money for our future life. I was telling her every single day that I was doing this for us, that it's just temporary and everything would change from 2018 and I meant it. I was often negative and I saw she became cold.
I tried to talk to her, asking why she became so cold and she always said that the spark between us has been disappearing. I was always asking her what should I do and she always replied: I don't know.
It was always 'I don't know'.
This was going on for 3 months (Oct, Nov, Dec) since we started the new chapter in a new city. I knew that 2018 would be different, I already planned a big surprise for her at the beginning of 2018. I did all the tough work in my job in 2017 and I felt that I would finally have more time for our relationship in 2018.
We even cuddled more during Christmas and were planning our next trip in the summer of 2018.
She broke up with me on January 2nd. She cried and told me she didn't see a future in our relationship for a very long time.
I got devastated. I visualized all the things we'd be doing in 2018, me finally having more time, finally exploring the city, the restaurants, the hidden gems. I'd finally give her everything. I really thought she understood I was working so hard the last couple of months because of us.
She sent me 2 long messages after the breakup, saying that she was thinking about breaking up for a long time and even though she might be doing the biggest mistake of her life, she understands the risk.
This gave me a false hope and I started to imagine how we're back together after she realized she really did the biggest mistake of her life.
Yesterday I had to meet her after 9 days because I needed to grab some stuff from our flat (I moved out the day after our breakup). She seemed completely fine. When I told her this was the last time we see each other, she said just 'bye'. No emotions, no tears, no hug, after 4 fucking years of this unique relationship.
I feel I became too obsessed with work in the last 6 months, but only because I cared too much about our future. I wanted to make money, so we can afford a mortgage and I wanted my children to have a normal, decent life. I feel that the 'essence of a man' disappeared from me and I feel terrible. I wasn't the man she met 4 years ago. I reacted in the exact opposite way as I should because I feared that it may worsen the relationship even more if I acted like a man. Realizing that, I feel absolutely terrible.
I am devastated. The false hope of us getting back together was the only thing that kept me motivated and I still can't lose it. I still imagine us being back together after she realizes that she lost the most precious thing she ever had. But I NEED to let it go. But how? It will only be more painful if I see her with another man while still having this fucking false hope inside me.
How do I get over this incredibly unique relationship with so many memories from around 30 countries in the world, our adventures, our happiness, our jokes, our crazy world nobody understood?
and since I'm writing to a PUA subreddit, How do I win her back? Should I try to win her back? How can I lose this fucking false hope that is making things bearable in the short-term, but can devastate me even more in the long-term?
I'd appreciate any kind of help or response, especially from people that went through something similar. I know how things work in theory (I did pickup 3 years before this relationship), but it's really hard to apply them when you're feeling so low.
Thank you.
