LaBelleClara
New member
Hi everyone, I've been meaning to post for a while now. Here's a brief intro to my life / relationship status:
I'm B and I've been with my wife L for 10 years, and we have a beautiful 17 month old boy, R. L and I had a lot of sexual issues in the middle of our years together, mainly because of addiction, codependency, funny parental dynamics which led to me shutting down sexually. She had an emotional affair whilst she was still drinking, which was very impactful, and I ended up sleeping with a male colleague and then going on to have a two year on and off flirtation with another man, which culminated in us sleeping together once. Getting pregnant was quite a rocky journey and my first pregnancy ended in miscarriage, which made me shut down even further. She felt constantly rejected and undesired.
She met A (F) when I was in my first trimester of the second pregnancy, and they started a very intense affair...which I guessed at, as I could see and recognise her behaviours, as I'd done the same! We started talking about opening up our marriage, and I semi-sanctioned what was going on with them, despite feeling really shitty and going through the anxiety provoking first trimester. I demanded to meet A though, and actually we got on really well. It was incredibly bumpy for the rest of my pregnancy, and I sort of figured / demanded that things would end when the baby was born...but it didn't quite turn out that way! Meanwhile, I read More than Two and the Ethical Slut and realised that, drama and pain aside, that this was a life I wanted - that monogamy, and certainly long term mono, really wasn't going to suit me. I realised I chafed against it.
Things carried on after the baby was born and eventually I sanctioned overnight stays for L & A, and tried to become friends / deepen the metamour bond. She is also a mother, and was amazing with the little one.
Fast forward a few months and A and I went on a night out just the two of us and kissed...went home, and the three of us ended up in bed together - that was nearly a year ago and now we find ourselves in a warm and loving triad. That said, we stopped all sleeping together the three of us a few months ago and all decided we wanted to deepen the pairing bonds i.e. A/L, L/A and A/B. We do all hang out together, and sleep in the same bed when we're in the same city (A lives elsewhere) but no threesomes! A and L went away for a birthday treat city break last weekend and I did solo parenting, but had lots of lovely contact and compersion, and apparently they talked about me loads
Basically, I really want to find like minded people to chat to, and to talk about this fairly unique situation - one thing I've been keen to know is...do other triads all sleep together as a matter of course, or are there some who just focus on the pairings sexually, but are all very close emotionally?
Thanks all, glad to be here! Bx
I'm B and I've been with my wife L for 10 years, and we have a beautiful 17 month old boy, R. L and I had a lot of sexual issues in the middle of our years together, mainly because of addiction, codependency, funny parental dynamics which led to me shutting down sexually. She had an emotional affair whilst she was still drinking, which was very impactful, and I ended up sleeping with a male colleague and then going on to have a two year on and off flirtation with another man, which culminated in us sleeping together once. Getting pregnant was quite a rocky journey and my first pregnancy ended in miscarriage, which made me shut down even further. She felt constantly rejected and undesired.
She met A (F) when I was in my first trimester of the second pregnancy, and they started a very intense affair...which I guessed at, as I could see and recognise her behaviours, as I'd done the same! We started talking about opening up our marriage, and I semi-sanctioned what was going on with them, despite feeling really shitty and going through the anxiety provoking first trimester. I demanded to meet A though, and actually we got on really well. It was incredibly bumpy for the rest of my pregnancy, and I sort of figured / demanded that things would end when the baby was born...but it didn't quite turn out that way! Meanwhile, I read More than Two and the Ethical Slut and realised that, drama and pain aside, that this was a life I wanted - that monogamy, and certainly long term mono, really wasn't going to suit me. I realised I chafed against it.
Things carried on after the baby was born and eventually I sanctioned overnight stays for L & A, and tried to become friends / deepen the metamour bond. She is also a mother, and was amazing with the little one.
Fast forward a few months and A and I went on a night out just the two of us and kissed...went home, and the three of us ended up in bed together - that was nearly a year ago and now we find ourselves in a warm and loving triad. That said, we stopped all sleeping together the three of us a few months ago and all decided we wanted to deepen the pairing bonds i.e. A/L, L/A and A/B. We do all hang out together, and sleep in the same bed when we're in the same city (A lives elsewhere) but no threesomes! A and L went away for a birthday treat city break last weekend and I did solo parenting, but had lots of lovely contact and compersion, and apparently they talked about me loads
Basically, I really want to find like minded people to chat to, and to talk about this fairly unique situation - one thing I've been keen to know is...do other triads all sleep together as a matter of course, or are there some who just focus on the pairings sexually, but are all very close emotionally?
Thanks all, glad to be here! Bx
