Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

I got my period today. Ugh. As if I needed more emotions in my life.

DarkKnight and I are planning an overnight getaway to DC next Wednesday. Well, it may not be DC - we are still looking for ideas. I really want to see the current exhibit at the Artechouse and the new Hall of Fossils just opened at the Natural History museum. I figure we might hit a comedy club in the evening. We will see. He was excited when I mentioned maybe doing a boat tour.

Today I am doing a chicken dinner giveaway through the Blessing Box, so I will be busy. We had a 4th grader vandalize the Box last night but he was quickly identified and his mom brought him down to apologize and sign up for some volunteer time.I wrote a Facebook post about it, and it blew up and it’s now been viewed by a couple thousand people. This all happened when PunkRock and I were attending calling hours for a Box visitor who recently passed from his addiction. This hit me harder because of my oldest daughter’s issues. Still, I am glad we went.
 
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DarkKnight and I had fun in DC together. We stayed in the Adams Moseman area in a Bed & Breakfast, which was a first for both of us. Everything was over $350 since we were looking for a room the night before we left, but this place had a little carriage house for less than $200. It ended up being wonderful - everyone with a room in the main house had to share a bathroom, and according to reviews, it had paper thin walls. We had an entire building behind the property - it was a studio apartment, basically! We had our own kitchen and bathroom, and we didn’t share anything with anybody. We even had our own private outdoor space. It was really nice!

We did end up going to see the Hallf of Fossils at the Natural History Museum, and we also saw the Infinity exhibit at Artechouse. Both were enjoyable and fun to experience with DarkKnight! In the evening we ordered in delicious food and ate it outside in our private garden, and then walked down the street a few blocks to go to a local comedy club. This meant a lot to me, since DarkKnight and I met on a comedy website.

It wasn’t all fun and games though - it was like 95 degrees out and I was seriously dying because 2 days prior I had acquired a nasty sunburn on my left arm and face. It had started to fade, but walking around in the heat, already hot and uncomfortable wasn’t fun. We called an Uber a couple of times, so that helped. There was a weather advisory the second day about the heat and pollution, and how children and elderly should stay inside. We decided to leave!

So after waking and showering on Thursday, we headed back toward home and spent the day in Frederick. We had lunch together at California Tortilla, and then walked around and shared some chocolate truffles on Market Street, and had a slice of cheesecake at the Orchard. We decided to do an escape room together, and it was dinosaur themed! We did AWESOME. The puzzles were unique and really fun! We were supposed to find 6 T-Rex eggs, and we did, finishing right at the last second. Only, we forgot the part where we were supposed to put them into a nest. Lol So we lost on a technicality! The game master was like, uh - aren’t you supposed to do something with those, and we both like, what? Lol So we thought we had won and we’re celebrating. He let us put them into the nest and experience the ending. We weren’t even bummed out though.

Our plan after the escape room was to go do a tour or a tasting at Flying Dog brewery, but at this point it was late and we decided to head back home for dinner. We picked up PunkRock after dropping off our luggage (we did the whole trip out of a shared backpack) and ate at a local cafe. It was a good way to end the night.

I was really worried before heading off with DarkKnight about PunkRock possibly drinking, but he actually pulled me aside before we left and told me that I didn’t have to worry about that at all, and that he was done with that. I appreciated that so very much! It actually calmed me down and I enjoyed my trip without worry. However, on the last day, we were trying to contact PunkRock to make sure he was ready for dinner and there was no reply to my texts or calls. This made all of my fears surface and I was really freaking out internally as we drove home. He was taking a nap, which didn’t make me feel better, because the three times I have caught him drinking was when he was in bed. He was sober though, and didn’t quite know how to react to me being anxious.

Things are actually going really well within our polycule. I do feel loved and supported on the surface, but so don’t feel like either of my husbands really knows what to do with me emotionally. I have gained 35 pounds in 6 months and feel terrible about my body. Neither of them are having sex with me and that makes me even more awful. I know they are stressed out too, but I still don’t feel sexy. I’m gross and hardly any of my clothes fit right anymore.

DarkKnight really needs some support right now as his stress is sky high as he is still unemployed. I really try to be there for him, but I am not quite sure what to do to assist and make him feel better. I think the trip away was a boost for him though. That was the idea anyway! I see him floundering for an identity without employment and it’s hard. He is in a local production of the Little Mermaid right now, and that helps.

PunkRock seems to be doing better - he’s seeing a therapist and is on a waitlist to for a psychiatrist to look at his meds. His tattoo artist is coming up from Georgia this coming month and he has an appointment scheduled to finally finish the linework on his big tattoo - he has an octopus on his back, and me as a mermaid on his arm, but the tentacles holding me up aren’t currently connected to the backpiece! So that will be done soon, and the planning seems to have raised his spirits. He’s working a bunch of overtime so he can pay for it.

My oldest daughter is still full in with her addiction. She lost her car finally, and is now traveling with her boyfriend on a motorcycle. I am anxious about this every day. My son will be 30 in July, and right now he is having health troubles with weird cysts appearing on his body. He’s on some medication now. Other than that I guess he is doing okay. My youngest daughter has a new boyfriend and she is in lala NRE land. She’s struggling financially and we have bailed her out to the tune of $500 now and we are done with that.
 
I am so tired and anxious lately. Yesterday I did fuckall but watch a stupid Japanese subtitled dating show called the Love Wagon on Netflix. That, and the Blessing Box. I kept that sucker filled, but then would just go back to the couch. I really have trouble functioning when I focus on my oldest daughter and her issues. She messaged me in the morning and I could just hear her voice in everything she wrote, and see the upcoming fight between us. It wasn’t good feelings.

Today is the deadline for her to return for her remaining cat, that we have been fostering for over a month. She was supposed to be here with a signed lease to show that she has a home for him, but of course that isn’t going to happen. She says she is on her way back to New York from Florida, riding tandem on her motorcycle, but she will soon be back to work (she is learning how to decorate and do drywall part time with some lady) and will be trading the bike for a car soon. And that she will have a lease for an apartment, no problem. It’s so sad - in no universe is this going to happen.

Some of my foster kittens are going to clinic tomorrow night, so I am going to ask about getting Loki (the cat) enrolled officially at the shelter, so he can be seen and get a microchip. He’s already up to date on his rabies shot and he’s fixed. He has calmed down a lot, but he is still really not okay to be in a family. He is so unpredictable with his moods. He needs an indoor/outdoor placement.

So i have paperwork on the kittens to do today, as well as empty and clean litter boxes all over the house. I also have to finish up clearing space in the Blessing Box overflow room - my pest control guy is coming to do the regular spraying tomorrow. We need our lawn mowed, and I have to plan the 4th of July BBQ. My youngest is bringing her new boyfriend so this will be the first real time we have spent with him.
 
I am so all over the place with my emotions. I started crying tonight when watching the Netflix show “Dark” with PunkRock. I started thinking about the fact that one of the three of us will be the last to die, and will have to spend their last years alone. Ugh.
 
My life is busy as always. In a minute I am going to clean out the kitten room and give out eyedrops. I have a donor scheduled for 2 pm, and then I plan to go shopping for the Box in the evening. Between 3 and 4 I have registrations open for a big taco giveaway. At some point I need to sit down and pay all the bills for the month. I have like $2000 in checking which I am hoping will be enough. If not, DarkKnight will have to do another transfer.

Tomorrow I have 7 kittens headed to the clinic for spay/neuter surgery first thing, and then of course I need to pick them up in the evening. In between that I have to get a couple of cages set up, as the girls can’t run around in the room overnight after their surgery. Ugh that will be a nightmare. I have a volunteer coming to help bag diapers and organize the giveaway for Tuesday. I have to go to the bank as well, to make sure my son’s finances are ticking over okay. I already paid his rent this month, so I need reimbursement for that.

Then yes, I have a big Taco Tuesday giveaway scheduled, and wouldn’t you know it, it’s also the date I have been subpoenaed to testify for an assault that I witnessed. Hopefully that won’t take too long, since it’s at ass o’clock in the morning.

Our brand new shed is supposed to be delivered on Tuesday as well, which means coordinating with PunkRock and a donor for pick up from Home Depot. We were going to rent a truck to bring it home, but someone messaged me and offered to transport it for free. We are going to buy all of the pressure treated lumber and materials for the base then as well. So, that is going to be scheduled for Wednesday if all goes to plan.

I forgot the rest of my calendar. That’s as far as my brain works! I know we are going to have a game night on Friday - me, PunkRock and our gaming friend. DarkKnight is in a production of the Little Mermaid, so he is out for a while on board games. We decided to hold off starting Zombicide: Prison Break, until he can come back. Instead we are maybe going to do some Arkham Horror or Mansions of Madness.
 
Court yesterday was kind of nerve wracking, but I ended up not being able to testify, because everything got postponed. They said I would get a letter in another couple of months on when to come back. After we emptied out of the courtroom, one of the cops told me that the entire assault was caught on video by the bank. That made me feel really glad for the man who was jumped.

Our shed is now on track to be delivered Fri-Sat, which is kind of a pain. Home Depot sucks for scheduling!

I am loaded up with back to back appointments today for our foster kittens. I am tired just thinking about it, though I honestly love having long blocks of time to be able to sit and play with them! It’s all the work afterward that’s tiring - I know when I come out there will be so much to catch up on!
 
Apparently DarkKnight’s stepdad called him today and asked if PunkRock sucked dick. DarkKnight was very confused, and told him no, PunkRock is straight, and why would he just call and ask such a thing out of the blue. “I wanna get my dick sucked.”

Just, what the fuck? I have no words. DarkKnight is devastated now, because he has to tell his mom what happened. I mean, even if you wanna get your dick sucked, what makes you think it’s acceptable to ask a family member?

Seriously, what the fuck?!!

This guy is a god-fearing, trump-supporting, racist old white man. Who apparently is a closeted gay and okay with cheating on his wife.

FML
 
Maybe. I dunno.

DarkKnight called his mom, and the conversation did not go well. Of course, stepdad was “just joking around.” In spite of, you know, DarkKnight and him having had maybe a handful of conversations ever, and none of them personal, and certainly not sexual, in nature. And definitely no offcolor jokes about PunkRock.

She says it was just a joke, obviously. DarkKnight said it was completely not a joke, it was extremely inappropriate, and that he never wants to have another conversation with this man again. He told his mom that he is sorry this has happened, but he will never appreciate being put in the middle of a “keep this a secret” conversation, and he isn’t going to frame this as a joke as much as stepdad might now be trying to say it was.


Meanwhile, stepdad is yelling in the background.

It’s over with now. DarkKnight was very hyped up and teary and angry over this, and he was glad to have the conversation over.
 
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Ugh... Sorry, BB. :(
 
Give DarkKnight a hug for me and tell him he is awesome.

No one should ever be put in the position he was and he is a wonderful man.
 
Maybe with all the stresses and Dark Knight out of work, it would be a good time to cut back on caring for so many kittens, etc. It seems this would put a great stress on Punk Rock, who is at this time the sole financial support for the three of you.
 
PunkRock’s income is 1/3 of what DarkKnight was previously making, and his family contribution from his paycheck hasn’t changed at all since DarkKnight became unemployed. He has been working some overtime, but that’s gone to pay for our more recent trips, and he has been putting money aside for his tattoo appointment later this month. We are still living off of savings.

This is our last batch of kittens until DarkKnight regains employment, that is for sure! We haven’t had to pay for much with them, thank goodness - we received a ton of donations early on of both litter and food. However, I have a new service project I want to focus on this Fall, so from a purely time-related standpoint, I need a break anyway.

I am cutting back - we no longer have Sirius XM radio in my car, we cancelled HBO and some fitness & health apps. We still have Netflix but we only have a 2-streaming plan now. And of course in the beginning, when DarkKnight lost his job, we paid off ALL of our credit cards and the extra loan we had for my car transmission. That took a big chunk of cash but I didn’t want to fuck around with all these debt payments, and I didn’t want our credit score to be negatively impacted if in the future we started having issues with paying bills. I still have my student loan but so far I have kept current with everything.
 
Holy fuck! My mother-in-law just called, and DarkKnight is going to lunch with her tomorrow. Apparently she snooped on her husband’s computer, and he’s been soliciting all sorts of men for sex. So he is a complete skeeze. It’s not dementia, it wasn’t a joke, he’s seriously trying to hook up with men behind her back. Ugh. Whether or not he’s been successful, I don’t know, but it’s gross, regardless. Especially considering the “intervention” they staged for me and DarkKnight a few years ago, when I was made to feel terrible because they don’t approve of polyamory.
 
Wow... What in the absolute fuck...
Hugs to you, BB, and to DarkKnight too.
 
Thanks. Ugh. Apparently he wasn't hiding anything at all - no trying to be sneaky in the lest bit. DarkKnight's mom has now moved out of the bedroom, and she's going to speak to a lawyer. Dude was camming and jerking off with other dudes as well. I feel really, really bad for my mother-in-law, but then a tiny part of me is like, I guess your legal, god-blessed marriage isn't so much better than my unsanctioned civil union with PunkRock, now is it? I feel shitty about that but I can't help it.

I saw a news article the other day about the horrifically high temperatures hitting our region this weekend, and I made a plea through the Blessing Box to ask for donations toward air conditioners and fans for my visitors. Some of them live in the WORST conditions, and I can't imagine trying to soldier through 105-110 degrees in their crappy apartments. I think we raised over $1000, or somewhere close to that, yesterday and today. Several people brought over fans and AC units as well. Our local news station came over and did a story, but funny thing is that our cable company doesn't carry the station. lol Oh well. I am just really happy I was able to get some people hooked up with the equipment they need to stay cool during this weather. A couple of people who are on this site follow my page, and they donated - so thanks y'all!
 
Bluebird said:
Holy fuck! My mother-in-law just called, and DarkKnight is going to lunch with her tomorrow. Apparently she snooped on her husband’s computer, and he’s been soliciting all sorts of men for sex. So he is a complete skeeze. It’s not dementia, it wasn’t a joke, he’s seriously trying to hook up with men behind her back. Ugh. Whether or not he’s been successful, I don’t know, but it’s gross, regardless. Especially considering the “intervention” they staged for me and DarkKnight a few years ago, when I was made to feel terrible because they don’t approve of polyamory.
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Shouldn’t you be looking at this in the sex positive manner in which you all live your lives ??

Perhaps he was inspired by the way you all live and like others that have realized they are bisexual or poly later in life they make changes. Plenty of people here have arrived via cheating or is he a skeeze for being gay or bi ?
 
It's the hypocrisy - you can't sit there and criticize someone's life choices and then hit on them, nor sit there are criticize while secretly doing the same thing.
 
Um, what? I’m not skeezed out that he’s gay or bi. I’m not sure how you got that? Hell, my nephew is bi and I love him to pieces. DarkKnight actually performed a dance routine with friends at Pride this past weekend, and my youngest was there supporting her friends. I’ve dated, slept with and been romantically involved with bi dudes. We are very sex positive and I don’t give a shit who people choose to love, as long as it’s open, honest and ethical. This dude cheating on my mother in law multiple times, having unprotected sex with random dudes off the Internet is none of those things. Plus yes, with both of them trashing my relationships, which are open, honest and ethical, while their own is garbage is hypocritical and makes everything worse from my view. According to my mother-in-law, he says he’s always been attracted to guys, has never loved a woman, including her and his past two wives, who he also admitted cheating on. THAT is the gross part.
 
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