Awkward 3 sum

[Orion]

My partner and I have been together for 6 years and have been poly for about 3 years now. I recently came back from being abroad for 9 months. My partner, Sam, is non-binary and one of the people they are dating, Liz, expressed they were interested in me. Not in the sense that they wanted to date me, but wanted to explore a 3sum. The initial mentions were on toping my partner together, not something I've done with someone, but something I was interested in. We all spent some time together making tie dye shirts and watching some shows together. Liz and I didnt talk to each other about the 3 sum at any of these hang outs though.

An opportunity for all of us to go camp out together comes up. So we begin planning the trip together and soon have everything set. The day of the trip we are leaving a bit later than planned so when we get to our campsite we have to set up our tent in the dark. We're all tired and lay down together. We realize we really don't have any more time to put off talking about boundaries. So we all have a chat about what we're comfortable with and we decide we just want to all snuggle together and have some light gropping, but nothing between the legs. Liz says she is open to kissing me, but wants to initiate. Sounds fantastic to all 3 of us and we say we can revisit boundaries as we get comfortable.

We all get comfortable laying together and touching one another. We switch spots a few times takign turns being in the middle. Liz and Sam make out and then Sam makes out with me. Eventually Liz invites me to kiss her and we're all giggling excitedly together. We're all really turned on and I ask Liz if she's open the breathe play and she excitedly says she is. So I gently grip her neck and start slow. We're all getting really turned on by all of this and decide to renegotiate boundaries.

Liz says she does want to be touched between the legs and I say that I do too. Sam is on their period and has been having some uncomfortable cramps, but also says they up for it. We are quick to grab hold of each others bodies. I tease that I nees some lubricant and Liz obliges and starts giving me head. It quickly turns into all 3 of us giving each other oral. Everything feels so amazing and we're having a great time. We all cum.

So we have a short rest for a while and are having pilow talk about how much fun that was. Liz says how happy she was with my cock and Sam responds, "Wait until you get fucked by it." Adding that it doesn't take me long to go again. That was all the encouragement we needed. So now we're going again. I start fucking Liz and Sam is all there for it making both of us feel amazing.

The next day Sam wakes up early and after laying around for a while wake up Liz and myself. Liz and I wake up very aroused, but Sam is a bit bored and annoyed they had to wait for us to wake up. Sam tells us that if we want to fuck they will leave the tent. And being more horny than we were sensitive we decided to have sex.

Sam told us they were excited that we are into each other, but are a bit out off by how quickly everything was happening. So we all go out and have a great day on the lake together floating around enjoying the day. We get back to camp and have dinner dinner. Liz and I have a couple beers, but Sam doesn't because they have been taking ibuprofen. Sam tells us they are sore and tied. So as I tidy up Liz gives Sam a massage with their massager. It helps relieve a lot tension in their pecks and other parts of their body. I come and join them and we are all massaging each other and cuddling together.

After a while the massages get sexual and we're undressing each other. Liz and Sam team up to focus on me and I'm enjoying myself so much I can barely move. We all then take turns giving each other oral and lay together happily. Liz wants more and asks for my cock. She mounts me and fucks me furiously. I hold onto Sam, but as things get more intense I notice them not engaged and sort of off to the side. I try and reach to them, but am lost in the moment.

The next day is very uncomfortable. Sam is upset, in pain, and not communicating. Liz and I feel bad and aren't sure what to do with each other. At the end of the day we get home and chat a little about what we did wrong and Liz and I apologize to Sam. Sam has individual chats with us. They make us undertand that they did not have an issue with us having sex, but having sex around them when they couldn't. Liz feels so badly they dont even hug me when they leave.

The next day Liz and I chat to finally discuss what we're looking for and want from each other. I express that I am interested in them in and out of the trio dynamic. Liz says we should talk more in person the next day when we're all set to hang out.
I ask Liz to come over a little earlier before Sam gets home so we can talk.

Liz explains she isn't looking to date another person right now, but is open to seeing how things go with our dynamic and so far really enjoys hanging out with me. I'm happy enough with that and don't want to stress their relationship with Sam. So im happy to keep things casual.

Later Sam, Liz, and I all chat. Liz ans I again apologize for our actions, but are glad to be forgiven as guilty as we feel for having hurt Sam. They go on to explain that they felt forced into a sexual situation they didn't want to be part of. They explain that when their cramps are so terrible they do not want be even aroused. This is all likely linked to Sam's body not responding well to their IUD. We all talk about how we feel and how we need to adjust. It's a big change as booty grabs and booby kisses were all used endearingly, but now cause a lot of pain for Sam. Sam explains that when we touch them sexually when they are cramping that they are so put off that they will not touch us or want to be around us. I say that I understand, but that such an aggressive response to something that was often endearing will be a difficult change, nonetheless I will do my best. I do ask that they not be so extreme in their response because I feel I may not want to be around them if/when that happens.

Sam says that they think we should all take a break from sexual interactions together. That they want to experience individualy with myself and Liz before being in a group dynamox again. Liz and I both agree that seems best. But Sam also makes clear they do not care what the two of us get up to on our own. Sam feels we didn't discuss blundaries clear enough and pushes on asking what our boundaries are when we spend time together. Sam says they are comfortable with cuddles, kisses, and I sheepishly say that I feel the same and that for more it is okay to ask. But this was all getting a bit much for Liz.

Liz says that maybe it's just for the best for them to just date Sam. They appologize to me for initiating things so Intensely and then deciding it's too much. So I ask them if they are comfortable with any touch concerned for the next time we hang out together. They say to treat them like a friend and to be more platonic. Everything feels like it drops for me. I listen trying to think through and not be emotional. Liz thinks and realizes this would be awkward. So I plead with her and just ask if I can just ask before I engage in any thouch with her. And she agrees.

I feel incredibly awkward about the whole situation. I feel terrible for how I made Sam feel and nervous to how well I will adjust to their demands. I feel a bit used by Liz, but I understand her hesitation. She just wanted to have a bit of fun and doesn't want to date me. I understand and I don't really want to date her either. I just wanted to be fuck buddies. Everything got so weird and Sam pressed us on the issues that we feel awkward just al 3 being in the same room. I uncomfortably hugged Liz when she left. I didn't want to be off-putting because I feel we can still talk and figure something out in the future. But I don't know what to say to Liz or Sam

I want to talk to Sam and tell them how I feel. They could see how uncomfortable I was after Liz spoke. I think they will understand, but I don't know what to after i talk to Sam. I never wanted to stress their relationship with Liz. I want to find a positive solution for all of us. Any advice on how to navigate group energy and be around one another would be very much appreciated.

 

[SEASONEDpolyAgain]

Maybe relax with the group stuff altogether for a while.

 

[GalaGirl]

I'm sorry you struggle. TBH? Nobody here sounds "joyful yes" any more. I'd let it all go.

I could be wrong, but it sounds like there was a LOT of times where communication from all of you could have been better, including "Does one time mean literally ONE TIME or does it mean whatever threesomes on this ONE TRIP?" And then there was the moving goalposts -- you make initial agreements and then one or another wants to go further. I think you all got carried away by the high of the moment. But it is basically breaking agreements.

So we all have a chat about what we're comfortable with and we decide we just want to all snuggle together and have some light gropping, but nothing between the legs.

You all agreed to that. And nobody kept their agreement.

If Sam was on their period and having cramps and health concerns, I don't know why Sam didn't bring it up when discussing boundaries on the camping trip. I also don't know why Sam is grumpy waiting for you guys to wake up, then offers to leave the tent so you can have sex with Liz, then gets upset it is going too fast when you DO have sex with Liz.

The next day is very uncomfortable. Sam is upset, in pain, and not communicating. Liz and I feel bad and aren't sure what to do with each other. At the end of the day we get home and chat a little about what we did wrong and Liz and I apologize to Sam. Sam has individual chats with us. They make us undertand that they did not have an issue with us having sex, but having sex around them when they couldn't. Liz feels so badly they dont even hug me when they leave.

So why not speak up earlier that they want to leave it at massage only? You can't be mind readers.

Later Sam, Liz, and I all chat. Liz ans I again apologize for our actions, but are glad to be forgiven as guilty as we feel for having hurt Sam. They go on to explain that they felt forced into a sexual situation they didn't want to be part of. They explain that when their cramps are so terrible they do not want be even aroused. This is all likely linked to Sam's body not responding well to their IUD.

Sounds like Sam could learn to speak up sooner and be more assertive rather than "just go along with things so I'm not the wet blanket then later regret it." Like actually TELL people when they are having cramps and touching is off limits temporarily.

Sam says that they think we should all take a break from sexual interactions together. That they want to experience individualy with myself and Liz before being in a group dynamox again. Liz and I both agree that seems best. But Sam also makes clear they do not care what the two of us get up to on our own.

Fair enough. Sam is stating where they stand.

Sometimes people don't know how they will be with group sex til they are actually there, and sometimes it doesn't go how they thought it would.

Liz says that maybe it's just for the best for them to just date Sam. They appologize to me for initiating things so Intensely and then deciding it's too much. So I ask them if they are comfortable with any touch concerned for the next time we hang out together. They say to treat them like a friend and to be more platonic.

And Liz wants to call it a one time thing and let it go. That's where they stand. You could respect Liz's decision even if it bums you out.

You were never promised a regular fuck buddy. This was for a one time thing.

Everything feels like it drops for me. I listen trying to think through and not be emotional. Liz thinks and realizes this would be awkward. So I plead with her and just ask if I can just ask before I engage in any thouch with her. And she agrees.

Given that Sam recently went along with things that they didn't really want? And because it sounds like you ended up wanting more and are pleading which can feel like pressure? I would not trust this as actual joyful consent. I'd wonder if this is Liz going "I feel awkward here, say whatever so it is less awkward."

I feel incredibly awkward about the whole situation. I feel terrible for how I made Sam feel and nervous to how well I will adjust to their demands. I feel a bit used by Liz, but I understand her hesitation. She just wanted to have a bit of fun and doesn't want to date me.

Sam has asked you to not be grabby when they have pain. Are you not able to do that?

Liz said she didn't want to date, she wanted a one time threesome. That was the camping trip. You chose to go there. That is not you being used. You may feel regret that this group sex experience that started out fun has ended up changing things and it's not so fun now.

I see you want to continue as fuck buddies with Liz but it doesn't really sound like Liz is into that right now. She sounds like she wants to leave it at the one time. I get being disappointed and you having to manage all these feelings that the threesome experience brought up. But that doesn't mean either Sam or Liz have to agree to do more threesomes. One time consent to do something doesn't mean consent to keep doing it forever.

I want to talk to Sam and tell them how I feel. They could see how uncomfortable I was after Liz spoke. I think they will understand, but I don't know what to after i talk to Sam. I never wanted to stress their relationship with Liz. I want to find a positive solution for all of us. Any advice on how to navigate group energy and be around one another would be very much appreciated.

I suggest you talk to someone else outside the system. If it is a lot, consider a counselor.

Asking Sam to comfort you because you are bummed Liz doesn't want to be fuck buddies when Sam has their own threesome experience load to process right now? That's adding more stress on Sam, not taking away. You say you don't want to stress their relationship. Well, it may stress Sam's relationship with Liz if you go on at Sam about how Liz turns you on so much you want to keep going with Liz.

It sounds like you tried out the threesome and while some of it was fun, some of it caught you off guard -- like the feelings that came up and then Sam's health. It sounded kinda bungly in places. Don't continue the bungly.

Could leave it at what it was supposed to be. A ONE time thing. That's what I would suggest. Other things you could do?

• Could give it some time so people can process their own experience of it.
• Don't plead with Liz for more sex. It's not attractive.
• Don't be grabby at Sam if they are in pain.
• Could get help OUTSIDE the system, not from people inside it.

And even though it will feel awkward the first few times you all see each other in the same space? Treat them like before. You date Sam. Liz prefers you treat her like a friend like before.

If you are not able to do that right away? Take 30 days of no contact with Liz to let whatever leftover feelings from the trip fade down more. Again, this JUST happened.

Galagirl

 

[icesong]

I think the weirdness will fade after a while - I've had a couple of that sort of ... threesome where I was one end of a V and wasn't sure what the relationship between me and the other party should be, and have started to definitely avoid them unless I am confident of what's on the other side. This was... not that. Especially since the point of the V was only semi-included due to physical issues.

Or in short I agree with literally everything GalaGirl says here.

 

[Orion]

I'm sorry you struggle. TBH? Nobody here sounds "joyful yes" any more. I'd let it all go.

I could be wrong, but it sounds like there was a LOT of times where communication from all of you could have been better, including "Does one time mean literally ONE TIME or does it mean whatever threesomes on this ONE TRIP?" And then there was the moving goalposts -- you make initial agreements and then one or another wants to go further. I think you all got carried away by the high of the moment. But it is basically breaking agreements.



You all agreed to that. And nobody kept their agreement.

If Sam was on their period and having cramps and health concerns, I don't know why Sam didn't bring it up when discussing boundaries on the camping trip. I also don't know why Sam is grumpy waiting for you guys to wake up, then offers to leave the tent so you can have sex with Liz, then gets upset it is going too fast when you DO have sex with Liz.



So why not speak up earlier that they want to leave it at massage only? You can't be mind readers.



Sounds like Sam could learn to speak up sooner and be more assertive rather than "just go along with things so I'm not the wet blanket then later regret it." Like actually TELL people when they are having cramps and touching is off limits temporarily.



Fair enough. Sam is stating where they stand.

Sometimes people don't know how they will be with group sex til they are actually there, and sometimes it doesn't go how they thought it would.



And Liz wants to call it a one time thing and let it go. That's where they stand. You could respect Liz's decision even if it bums you out.

You were never promised a regular fuck buddy. This was for a one time thing.



Given that Sam recently went along with things that they didn't really want? And because it sounds like you ended up wanting more and are pleading which can feel like pressure? I would not trust this as actual joyful consent. I'd wonder if this is Liz going "I feel awkward here, say whatever so it is less awkward."



Sam has asked you to not be grabby when they have pain. Are you not able to do that?

Liz said she didn't want to date, she wanted a one time threesome. That was the camping trip. You chose to go there. That is not you being used. You may feel regret that this group sex experience that started out fun has ended up changing things and it's not so fun now.

I see you want to continue as fuck buddies with Liz but it doesn't really sound like Liz is into that right now. She sounds like she wants to leave it at the one time. I get being disappointed and you having to manage all these feelings that the threesome experience brought up. But that doesn't mean either Sam or Liz have to agree to do more threesomes. One time consent to do something doesn't mean consent to keep doing it forever.



I suggest you talk to someone else outside the system. If it is a lot, consider a counselor.

Asking Sam to comfort you because you are bummed Liz doesn't want to be fuck buddies when Sam has their own threesome experience load to process right now? That's adding more stress on Sam, not taking away. You say you don't want to stress their relationship. Well, it may stress Sam's relationship with Liz if you go on at Sam about how Liz turns you on so much you want to keep going with Liz.

It sounds like you tried out the threesome and while some of it was fun, some of it caught you off guard -- like the feelings that came up and then Sam's health. It sounded kinda bungly in places. Don't continue the bungly.

Could leave it at what it was supposed to be. A ONE time thing. That's what I would suggest. Other things you could do?

• Could give it some time so people can process their own experience of it.
• Don't plead with Liz for more sex. It's not attractive.
• Don't be grabby at Sam if they are in pain.
• Could get help OUTSIDE the system, not from people inside it.

And even though it will feel awkward the first few times you all see each other in the same space? Treat them like before. You date Sam. Liz prefers you treat her like a friend like before.

If you are not able to do that right away? Take 30 days of no contact with Liz to let whatever leftover feelings from the trip fade down more. Again, this JUST happened.

Galagirl

Firstly, thank you for the thorough reply. I think that the main issues we had were our lack of communication with one another and our shifting boundaries. We really didn't take enough time to discuss our boundaries properly before the trip. We really could have avoided a lot of the awkwardness if we had just talked to each other earlier rather than trying to fix things after they had already gone wrong.

We also should have stuck to our initial boundaries since we did not properly have a discussion before the trip. We took it too far too quickly. We let our horny brains make bad decisions and we've got to deal with the consequences. We are all disappointed that we handled it so poorly that everything is so awkward now.

I'm glad that we all were able to talk with each other as difficult as it was. I need to focus on how to communicate better and consider Sam's perspective when taking to them. I do think Liz was just agreeing to things to make them less awkward. I need to remember that and just have some space between us for a while.

I'll keep talking to people to get my feelings out so it doesn't all feel so raw and emotional around Sam and Liz.

 

[kdt26417]

Hello Orion,

I think you have the right idea, just talk to Sam and Liz, one at a time, just be honest about how you feel, and ask for what you want. Keep in mind that you do not want to leave things all raw and emotional, you know your communication before the camping trip was lacking, so now that the camping trip is done, it's time to make up for that and do extra communication. Find out what your boundaries really are. Figure out what you really want. You do not want Sam and Liz to feel awkward, so tell them that. I hope the posts in this thread have been helpful to you so far.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.

 

[Magdlyn]

My partner Sam and I have been together for 6 years, and have been poly for about 3 years now. (Sam is non-binary.)

One of the people Sam is dating, Liz, expressed that they were interested in me. Not in the sense that they wanted to date me, she wanted to explore a 3some. The initial mentions were about us topping Sam together. This not something I'd done with anyone, but I was interested in it.

We all spent some time together making tie-dye shirts and watching some shows together. Liz and I didn't talk about the 3some at any of these hang-outs, though.

An opportunity for all of us to go camping together comes up. We begin planning the trip together and soon have everything set. The day of the trip we leave a bit later than planned, so when we get to our campsite we have to set up our tent in the dark. Then we're all tired and lie down together. We realize we really don't have any more time to put off talking about boundaries. So we all have a chat about what we're comfortable with. We decide we just want to snuggle together and have some light groping, but do nothing between the legs. Liz says she is open to kissing me, but wants to initiate. This sounds fantastic to all 3 of us, and we say we can revisit boundaries as we get more comfortable

We all get comfortable lying together and touching one another. We switch spots a few times, taking turns being in the middle. Liz and Sam make out, and then Sam makes out with me. Eventually Liz invites me to kiss her. We're all giggling excitedly together. I ask Liz if she's open to breath-play, and she excitedly says she is. So I gently grip her neck and start slow. We're all getting really turned on by all of this and decide to renegotiate boundaries.

Liz says she does want to be touched between the legs, and I say that I do too. Sam is on their period and has been having some uncomfortable cramps, but they also say they're up for it. We are quick to grab hold of each others' bodies. I tease them, saying that I need some lubricant. Liz obliges and starts giving me head. It quickly turns into all 3 of us giving each other oral. Everything feels so amazing and we're having a great time. We all cum.

We have a short rest for a while, and are having pillow talk about how much fun that was. Liz says how happy she was with my cock, and Sam responds, "Wait until you get fucked by it," adding that it doesn't take me long to get going again. That was all the encouragement we needed. So now we're going at it again. I start fucking Liz, and Sam is all there for it, making both of us feel amazing.

The next day Sam wakes up early, and after lying there for a while, wakes up Liz and me. She and I wake up very aroused, but Sam is a bit bored, and annoyed they had to wait for us to wake up. Sam tells us that if we want to fuck they will leave the tent. And being more horny than we were sensitive, we decide to have sex. When we come out, Sam tells us they are excited that we are into each other, but are a bit put off by how quickly everything was happening.

We all go out and have a great day together, floating around on the lake, enjoying ourselves. We go back to our campsite and have dinner. Liz and I have a couple of beers, but Sam doesn't, because they have been taking ibuprofen. Sam tells us they are sore and tired. So as I tidy up, Liz gives Sam a massage with their massager. It helps relieve a lot of tension in their pecs and other parts of their body. I come and join them, and soon we are all massaging each other and cuddling together.

After a while the massages get sexual, and we start undressing each other. Liz and Sam team up to focus on me. I'm enjoying myself so much I can barely move. We all then take turns giving each other oral. Liz wants more and asks for my cock. She mounts me and fucks me furiously. I hold onto Sam, but as things get more intense, I notice they are not engaged, and sort of off to the side. I try to reach out to them, but I am lost in the moment.

The next day is very uncomfortable. Sam is upset, in pain, and not communicating. Liz and I feel bad and aren't sure what to do with each other. At the end of the day, we get home and chat a little about what we did wrong. Liz and I apologize to Sam. Sam has individual chats with each of us. They make us understand that they did not have an issue with us having sex, but having sex around them when they couldn't. Liz feels so badly that she doesn't even hug me when she leaves.

The next day Liz and I text and discuss what we're looking for, and what we want from each other. I express that I am interested in her within and without of the trio dynamic. Liz says we should talk more in person the next day when we're all set to hang out.
I ask Liz to come over a little earlier, before Sam gets home, so we can talk.

Liz explains she isn't looking to date another person right now, but is open to seeing how things go with our dynamic. She says, so far, she really enjoys hanging out with me. I'm happy enough with that. I don't want to put stress on her relationship with Sam, so I'm happy to keep things casual.

Later, Sam, Liz, and I all chat. Liz and I again apologize for our actions, but are glad to be forgiven, as guilty as we feel for having hurt Sam. Same explains that they felt forced into a sexual situation they didn't want to be part of. They explain that when their cramps are so terrible, they do not even want to be aroused. This is all likely linked to Sam's body not responding well to their IUD.

We all talk about how we feel and how we need to adjust. It's a big change, as booty grabs and booby kisses were all done endearingly, but caused a lot of pain for Sam, afterwards. Sam explains that when we touch them sexually when they are cramping, they are so put off that they will not touch us or want to be around us. I say that I understand, but that such an aggressive response to something that was endearing at the time will be a difficult change. Nonetheless, I will do my best. I ask that they not be so extreme in their response, because I feel I may not want to be around them if/when that happens again.

Sam says that they think we should all take a break from sexual interactions together. They want to experience Liz and me individually, before being in a group dynamic again. Liz and I both agree that that seems best. But Sam also makes clear that they do not care what the two of us get up to on our own. Sam thinks we didn't discuss boundaries clearly enough, and pushes us, asking what our boundaries are when we spend time together. Sam says they are comfortable with cuddles and kisses, and I sheepishly say that I feel the same way, but that it's okay to ask for more. But this was all getting to be a bit much for Liz.

Liz says that maybe it's for the best for her to just date Sam. She apologizes to me for initiating things so intensely and then deciding it's too much. So I ask her if she is comfortable with any touching the next time we hang out together. She says to treat her like a platonic friend.

Then it feels like everything drops for me. I listen, trying to think clearly, and not be emotional. Liz then realizes this would be awkward. So I plead with her, saying, "Can I just ask before I engage in any touching with you?" And she agrees.

I feel incredibly awkward about the whole situation. I feel terrible for how I made Sam feel, and nervous about how well I will adjust to their demands. I feel a bit used by Liz, but I understand her hesitation. She just wanted to have a bit of fun, and doesn't want to date me. And I don't really want to date her either, I just want to be fuck buddies. Everything got so weird, and Sam pressed us on the issues so hard, that we feel awkward just being in the same room together. I uncomfortably hug Liz when she leaves. I don't want to be off-putting, because I think we can still figure something out in the future. But I don't know what to say to Liz or Sam.

I want to talk to Sam and tell them how I feel. They could see how uncomfortable I was after Liz spoke. I think they will understand, but I don't know what to do after I talk to Sam. I never wanted to stress their relationship with Liz. I want to find a positive solution for all of us.

Any advice on how to navigate group energy and be around one another would be very much appreciated.

I used "she" for Liz, since you used that interchangably with "them," but this helps differentiate the two people, since Sam is "them."

This all just goes to show how awkward threesome sex can be, especially if you do it spontaneously. You all got carried away in the heat of the moment.

I do think Sam was a bit unfair to blame you and Liz for hurting them. After all, Same made the decision both nights to go ahead with group sex. It wasn't just once, it was twice! And then, later, they said they didn't want to be aroused or touched while having cramps. You and Liz went with what Sam seemed to want, since you couldn't read their mind.

However, this is common. I have had a a couple of threesomes/foursomes, that felt great as they were happening. But in retrospect, I felt weird about the dynamic of what we all did, and who all were to each other, a few hours or a day or two after it was over.

I don't make a practice of sex with more than one other person anymore, because, unless boundaries are very secure, there is often that resultant awkwardness. It can get better with practice, with the right people, if you work at it.

I'm sorry Sam is struggling so much with their IUD.

 

[PinkPig]

I agree with Magdlyn. Threesomes can be really tricky. Even when they feel great at the time, awkwardness and hurt feelings are common in my experience. My first experience was with a couple. It was fun and sexy in the moment but really awkward the next day. But the intention was casual sex and as a demisexual, that doesn't work for me. And we were drinking which is more likely to lead to problems ime since it reduces inhibitions in the moment which can result in regret later.

I was in a triad for awhile. We had really great group sex... but it didn't happen overnight. We had many conversations about feelings and boundaries before engaging. And we talked about it as a group after. To be honest, those were the only threesomes I've engaged in that didn't result in some awkwardness and jealousy.

I think you could chalk this up to a lesson learned. You all got caught up in the heat of the moment. It happens. No harm, no foul. But after Sam expressed some reservations, after the fact, it probably would have been best to not engage the second time. I agree with Galagirl. You should respect the boundaries Liz and Sam have placed now. If you really want group sex, maybe pursue something casual with different partners who are not romantically and emotionally invested in one another.