Echo5Tango
New member
My wife and I were asked to join a poly couple. We did, but things got messy at just over a year. Maybe my understanding was not quite right about what all of this is, or is not. We all loved each other, I was in-love with my secondary partner, but always kept loyalty to my wife. As things progressed early on, I found that I really identified with the values of the poly community. My wife went the other way, eventually ending the relationship with the couple. Come to find out, after 3 years together, and now 1 year apart, my secondary, was never poly, but was looking to replace her husband. I feel hurt, lied to, and betrayed. I'm trying to find a way to express myself and how hurt I am, but I am not "out" to anyone that can support me. I wrote something recently, but I was not allowed to post it to social media because my wife thought it would make her mother ask questions. I'm still looking for an emotional outlet and to process all this stuff, so here I am. This is what I wanted to post:
Titled: When I say “I love you”
I lost a friend recently.
They didn’t die, but they ended our friendship.
They were a friend that I said, I love you to.
In my grief, I reached out to some friends, and some colleagues for support.
I gained insight that left me with an understanding that I feel the need to explain.
When I say I love you. It means that I have planted a seed inside me with your name on it. Whether or not we talk, hang out, or have regular interactions, I take care of that seed, and let it grow. This provides me the ability to keep a relationship alive.
So when I say, I love you, it is because I keep you with me wherever I go.
When someone chooses to end that relationship, the flower grown from that seed is removed, and I am left with a painful hole where a beautiful flower used to be. My feelings then stay there, in that hole, until time heals that wound.
If I have ever said, I love you to you, this is what it means.
Thank you for letting me explain and process that with you.
Titled: When I say “I love you”
I lost a friend recently.
They didn’t die, but they ended our friendship.
They were a friend that I said, I love you to.
In my grief, I reached out to some friends, and some colleagues for support.
I gained insight that left me with an understanding that I feel the need to explain.
When I say I love you. It means that I have planted a seed inside me with your name on it. Whether or not we talk, hang out, or have regular interactions, I take care of that seed, and let it grow. This provides me the ability to keep a relationship alive.
So when I say, I love you, it is because I keep you with me wherever I go.
When someone chooses to end that relationship, the flower grown from that seed is removed, and I am left with a painful hole where a beautiful flower used to be. My feelings then stay there, in that hole, until time heals that wound.
If I have ever said, I love you to you, this is what it means.
Thank you for letting me explain and process that with you.