Katiekat
New member
I've been with my poly partner for 6+ years. We've always been transparent. No real rules about who and how we conduct our sexualloving relationships save one: no lies. We have one single rule and I broke it.
I slept with an old lover and lied by omission. Told myself some bs about how it was ok if I didn't do it again. But I did 2 weeks later. So I said ok no more but still lie.
Then, it ate at me. I told my partner a couple weeks later , of course, life's been kinda hell ever since.
It's been a month and half now since I confessed. We don't communicate like we used to. Our fights have become often and circular instead of leading to conclusions and peace.
I'm posting this as a new member. (Hopefully this is the right subforum to post something like this.)
I would please like some help.
I love my partner. I feel so stupid and selfish and he's so hurt and angry that he's not the same. He's much less compassionate and reasonable. I realize some may think I deserve this. I get that. But it's not something I can live with. And I'm kinda thinking he shouldn't live like this either. We're both seeking individual and couple's counseling. But I wonder if I should do him and myself a favor and stop. Just leave. Let him heal and move on. Let myself go and live with my consequences.
Just not sure. There's still lots of love between us. But I just don't know if we can or should try to survive this as a couple. He's willing. But I worry that he might be too stubborn and blind to realize we shouldn't go on with trying. That he might not realize he's hurt in this relationship beyond repair.
I want to try... But I'm not sure it'll be a healthy thing for me or him.
I appreciate any feedback. I can't figure this out alone and I can't rely on myself to be unselfish in my contemplating my future choices regarding my relationship with him.
I slept with an old lover and lied by omission. Told myself some bs about how it was ok if I didn't do it again. But I did 2 weeks later. So I said ok no more but still lie.
Then, it ate at me. I told my partner a couple weeks later , of course, life's been kinda hell ever since.
It's been a month and half now since I confessed. We don't communicate like we used to. Our fights have become often and circular instead of leading to conclusions and peace.
I'm posting this as a new member. (Hopefully this is the right subforum to post something like this.)
I would please like some help.
I love my partner. I feel so stupid and selfish and he's so hurt and angry that he's not the same. He's much less compassionate and reasonable. I realize some may think I deserve this. I get that. But it's not something I can live with. And I'm kinda thinking he shouldn't live like this either. We're both seeking individual and couple's counseling. But I wonder if I should do him and myself a favor and stop. Just leave. Let him heal and move on. Let myself go and live with my consequences.
Just not sure. There's still lots of love between us. But I just don't know if we can or should try to survive this as a couple. He's willing. But I worry that he might be too stubborn and blind to realize we shouldn't go on with trying. That he might not realize he's hurt in this relationship beyond repair.
I want to try... But I'm not sure it'll be a healthy thing for me or him.
I appreciate any feedback. I can't figure this out alone and I can't rely on myself to be unselfish in my contemplating my future choices regarding my relationship with him.
Last edited: