journey666
New member
Hey everyone! I’m pretty new here but I’d really appreciate some help with a situation I’m struggling with.
Me and my partner (25f/24f) (let’s call her Jane) have been dating for 4 years and living together for 2 of those years. We have been seeing one of our male friends (27m) (let’s call him Dave) for around 6 months.
At this point, I’m seriously considering ending my relationship with Jane. She’s a wonderful person that I still want to have in my life, but our relationship has been very codependent and suffocating since it started. I would really like to spend some time single to get to know myself better and grow as a person, and I think that would be good for her as well. However, she is a very anxious person and relies on me (and Dave to a lesser extent) for support, and she has expressed that she wants to be with me for the rest of her life. I really don’t want to cause her pain, but our relationship is fairly one-sided as her stress and anxiety take up so much space and time. I also really want kids, and she isn’t sure she does. I just don’t see her being someone I will spend the rest of my life with romantically, and worry I am wasting her time or “stringing her along”.
The problem is, our relationship with Dave is one of the best parts of all of our lives. We do a number of activities and hobbies together, travel together, and have made a lot of purchases as a group. I know he does not have many close friends other than me and my partner, and he has expressed that his worst case scenario would be the two of us breaking up because of him. I’m worried that Jane and I breaking up would devastate him and ruin the relationships we all have. At this point, doing the activities we do with Dave is the main thing I look forward to in my life, and I am terrified of losing that. I have developed very strong feelings for him, and I can’t help worrying that ending my relationship with Jane would end everything we have. I am also very worried about Dave being able to cope on his own if things fell apart, as he is very depressed and the two of us as pretty much his support system/social life.
Any help navigating this situation would be greatly appreciated - I am involved with two amazing people who I care about deeply, and I want to handle this in the best way possible.
Me and my partner (25f/24f) (let’s call her Jane) have been dating for 4 years and living together for 2 of those years. We have been seeing one of our male friends (27m) (let’s call him Dave) for around 6 months.
At this point, I’m seriously considering ending my relationship with Jane. She’s a wonderful person that I still want to have in my life, but our relationship has been very codependent and suffocating since it started. I would really like to spend some time single to get to know myself better and grow as a person, and I think that would be good for her as well. However, she is a very anxious person and relies on me (and Dave to a lesser extent) for support, and she has expressed that she wants to be with me for the rest of her life. I really don’t want to cause her pain, but our relationship is fairly one-sided as her stress and anxiety take up so much space and time. I also really want kids, and she isn’t sure she does. I just don’t see her being someone I will spend the rest of my life with romantically, and worry I am wasting her time or “stringing her along”.
The problem is, our relationship with Dave is one of the best parts of all of our lives. We do a number of activities and hobbies together, travel together, and have made a lot of purchases as a group. I know he does not have many close friends other than me and my partner, and he has expressed that his worst case scenario would be the two of us breaking up because of him. I’m worried that Jane and I breaking up would devastate him and ruin the relationships we all have. At this point, doing the activities we do with Dave is the main thing I look forward to in my life, and I am terrified of losing that. I have developed very strong feelings for him, and I can’t help worrying that ending my relationship with Jane would end everything we have. I am also very worried about Dave being able to cope on his own if things fell apart, as he is very depressed and the two of us as pretty much his support system/social life.
Any help navigating this situation would be greatly appreciated - I am involved with two amazing people who I care about deeply, and I want to handle this in the best way possible.
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