Hi all! I am looking for some thoughts/advice about my current situation.
My partner and I have been together for two years. We are non hierarchical, but haven’t been with many other people in the meantime (I.e. pandemic challenges). He received a great job/life opportunity about a 3 hour flight from me, and I am really happy for him to take this step (although sad he won’t be nearby).
Financially, it will be difficult for us to visit each other. While neither of us wants to end the relationship, we also haven’t done long distance before. I think it will be hard for me to go from being so intimate to being distant (like as comet partners), especially when we begin seeing other local partners. He has expressed concern over this and is reticent to make longer term plans. He is opting for a “we will see each other when we see each other” approach, and doesn’t think he can talk on the phone with me as often as I would like (~2 times a week) after he leaves.
In addition, he has just started a relationship with someone who lives about 3 hours from our current town. He “bent” one of our rules by not disclosing that he is poly and has a partner before kissing her (although the did before he slept with her). This did make me uncomfortable. However, despite the distance they are making plans to see each other and talking on the phone quote regularly.
Basically, I feel anxious about the new relationship when ours is so up in the air. It also bothers me that he seems to be willing to put effort into this new LDR while he seems reluctant to do so with ours. I understand that I have some jealousy here to work on, but work love some advice on how to handle this (or if I should end the relationship).
Any thoughts? I’m not sure what works and what doesn’t work in this situation/thoughts about how to visit long distance partners in a more financially savvy way.
My partner and I have been together for two years. We are non hierarchical, but haven’t been with many other people in the meantime (I.e. pandemic challenges). He received a great job/life opportunity about a 3 hour flight from me, and I am really happy for him to take this step (although sad he won’t be nearby).
Financially, it will be difficult for us to visit each other. While neither of us wants to end the relationship, we also haven’t done long distance before. I think it will be hard for me to go from being so intimate to being distant (like as comet partners), especially when we begin seeing other local partners. He has expressed concern over this and is reticent to make longer term plans. He is opting for a “we will see each other when we see each other” approach, and doesn’t think he can talk on the phone with me as often as I would like (~2 times a week) after he leaves.
In addition, he has just started a relationship with someone who lives about 3 hours from our current town. He “bent” one of our rules by not disclosing that he is poly and has a partner before kissing her (although the did before he slept with her). This did make me uncomfortable. However, despite the distance they are making plans to see each other and talking on the phone quote regularly.
Basically, I feel anxious about the new relationship when ours is so up in the air. It also bothers me that he seems to be willing to put effort into this new LDR while he seems reluctant to do so with ours. I understand that I have some jealousy here to work on, but work love some advice on how to handle this (or if I should end the relationship).
Any thoughts? I’m not sure what works and what doesn’t work in this situation/thoughts about how to visit long distance partners in a more financially savvy way.