Which way to turn?

Having one of those nights I wish I could clone my husband. after our trying day, I was really looking forward to spending the night decompressing and talking with my husband. Today effected me alot more than I was willing to show at the hospital. And I am in a lot of pain.

But Cricket needed him and without asking me about any of it. Decided he was going to pick her up and bring her here.

Cricket and I are still getting along fine, but sometimes, I just want some me time. So I wasn't too happy to not even be asked. When he saw I was bothered he did ask and I told him it would be fine, which it would have been.

An hour later I was still waiting for them to return and called to find out she didn't want to come here and he didn't stop to think that informing me would be a good idea.

So now, after being in pain to the point of pain pills I call again and find that he'll be another hr.

I'm not upset that she needed him. But I need him too.

dealing with people when they are that sick takes a huge toll on me and being in pain on top of it, I need my husband. And I once again feel brushed aside.

If only he could be cloned for nights like tonight. I feel like crap for being upset, but I am.
 
Yeah, apparently my brain doesn't work too well when it needs to decompress... as we've seen tonight with my amazing ability to forget words and entire trains of thought randomly :)

Sorry babe. I love you.
 
Karma and I aren't doing so well on the communication front. Been a rough night.

I could really use a vacation. Just the two of us. Even if it's only for a day or two. No interuptions, just some time with my husband.

His crusade to hold up the falling sky for all his friends, is leaving me feeling a little neglected and left out. He doesn't see it, or understand it, so I'm left to fix it on my own. Which is a little hard to do.

I just don't see cleaning the house, or spending time together while with a friend, quality time. I'd like more than an hr or two with my husband.

I asked a question tonight, to try to understand how he can enjoy doing something with someone else that he told me was boring. And it turned into this big huge thing and me getting yelled at.

I'm hurt, frustrated and confused.
 
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I'll take that vacation now. Two tires on the truck blew out while Karma was out driving. Thankfuly he's okay and a cop came by right when it happened and gave him a ride here. They called first and I didn't answer cuz I didn't know the #. I looked it up and when it said it was the area police I freaked!!! Thankfuly he's fine and walked in right after. Had it towed and now have to go buy 2 tires ( we jsut bought 2) so that all 4 are new. But the car is having break issues so I have to get that fixed as well and somehow I have to make it to the school tomorrow to take a math test.

I'm glad he's safe. That's really all I care about at the moment.
 
Thank goodness everyone is safe. I hate car troubles and tires are super expensive these days. I still have to replace 2 of ours also, just had our front brakes done and now have to get the rears done before the end of the year. I feel for you. ((Hugs))
 
I'll take that vacation now. Two tires on the truck blew out while Karma was out driving. Thankfuly he's okay and a cop came by right when it happened and gave him a ride here. They called first and I didn't answer cuz I didn't know the #. I looked it up and when it said it was the area police I freaked!!! Thankfuly he's fine and walked in right after. Had it towed and now have to go buy 2 tires ( we jsut bought 2) so that all 4 are new. But the car is having break issues so I have to get that fixed as well and somehow I have to make it to the school tomorrow to take a math test.

I'm glad he's safe. That's really all I care about at the moment.

Mo...yikes what a week so far! Hope the test goes well. Best of luck. Tell Karma to SLOOOOOOOWWWWWW DOOOOOOWWWWN!;)
 
Mo...yikes what a week so far! Hope the test goes well. Best of luck. Tell Karma to SLOOOOOOOWWWWWW DOOOOOOWWWWN!;)

I was!!! Honest, I was coming up to a curve that you have to take at like 20 mph or you lose the road. I'm really glad it happened there instead of on the highway :)

On top of all the rest of the drama, I've been fighting with a nasty toothache and a "new" computer that a friend gave me in Ohio. I reinstalled Windows XP..... and NONE of the drivers are there. I can't get the damn thing onto the internet, either. It doesn't seem to realize that the internet card is attached to it. I currently have an expensive paperweight that I can play minesweeper on. And a killer toothache. Probaply going out to J's birthday party tomorrow (provided the truck gets fixed). On top of all his personal issues and depression, his cat died last night.... fucking wonderful birthday present.
 
When the world falls apart and your husband is holding up the sky, the best thing to do is make Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Brownies.

It's hard to care about J's issues. But I do care that they bleed over onto Cricket. She's got a lot on her plate right now.

Pretty sure I failed my math test. First time in my life I ran out of time taking a test. I CAN'T fail this semster or we lose all financial support.

Insert freak out now.

On the plus side, I can turn my head, my back isn't spasming and the only pain I have is my shoulder, neck and wrist. Finaly got hit with the Fibro Flare we've been waiting for. I didn way too much the last two weeks. And don't really have time to rest. Thankfuly Karma has done all the cleaning the last few days.

Hopefully I get some snoogle time before the pain meds take over. Tomorrow is car repair day and then the weekend hits.

Where's that vacation?
 
I was!!! Honest, I was coming up to a curve that you have to take at like 20 mph or you lose the road. I'm really glad it happened there instead of on the highway :)

On top of all the rest of the drama, I've been fighting with a nasty toothache and a "new" computer that a friend gave me in Ohio. I reinstalled Windows XP..... and NONE of the drivers are there. I can't get the damn thing onto the internet, either. It doesn't seem to realize that the internet card is attached to it. I currently have an expensive paperweight that I can play minesweeper on. And a killer toothache. Probaply going out to J's birthday party tomorrow (provided the truck gets fixed). On top of all his personal issues and depression, his cat died last night.... fucking wonderful birthday present.

1st rule of thumb when rebuilding a computer. Download drivers onto a usb drive first :p...

Onboard network cards usually need specialized drivers, especially with windows XP. If you happen to have another computer, download the driver on there and then use it to update the computer. Once you have the network up and running, you can go to town and download the rest.
 
Finaly got some time with my boy last night. He taught me how to play minesweeper :) It was fun. Had some snoogle time and some interesting pillow talk. Feeling a little more recharged.

Today is car repair day and putting away the 7 loads of laundry he did. I'm hurting pretty bad, but looking forward to productivity.

He's suppsed to be heading out for J's birthday tonight. Maybe I'll work on some more homework.
 
My neck and shoulder are killing me tonight.

Waiting on Karma to return from J's birthday party.

Took both cars in to the garage tonight. Had to call my mom to see if she could help pay for the brakes on the car. And she basicaly said it was my fault they went out. Yes, that is exactly what happened! I crawled under the car and fucked around with them a bit and purposely put myself and anyone else on the road in danger. WTF! When I e-mailed her about the tires blowing to shreds on Karma, she responded with "sux to be him, glad it wasn't you" Really? Sucks to be him?!?!?! Fuck you! That's my husband you're being bitch about! I get that he's fucked up quite a bit, but I've chosen to forgive and move on with my life, why can't you!!!

Found a Dr that is taking part in a trial to see if the same hormone therepy I took is the cause of hypoglycemia and excess cortisol in patients. The cortisol essential causing the hypglycemia and the crazy weight gain and inability to lose it. Sent a message. Hopefully I get a response. I'd love to solve this bullshit!

Okay just needed to vent somehwere my mom wasn't going to read. Not quite ready for that fight yet.
 
1st rule of thumb when rebuilding a computer. Download drivers onto a usb drive first :p...

Onboard network cards usually need specialized drivers, especially with windows XP. If you happen to have another computer, download the driver on there and then use it to update the computer. Once you have the network up and running, you can go to town and download the rest.

That would be an excellent plan, if I knew what drivers I needed, where they're located on my old computer, and what they are labeled as..... but I am seriously lacking in the computer know-how area.
 
Things I learned this weekend:

Deer will try to mate with concrete and will get mad at you for interupting them

My husband is an amazing driver, without his reactions time, we'd be seriously hurt

Deer are suicidal, possibly on kamakazee missions

36 deer dead on the side of the road in a 120 mile stretch-is not a lot for this time of year

Nothing ever goes according to plan

Always bring an overnight bag, even if you don't plan on staying overnight

As crazy as my family is, they saved my ass once again

Staying up for 24 hrs, then only getting 6 hrs of sleep will fuck with fibro hard core


Basicaly- we came to ohio to get KArmas brother, was supposed to be a round trip no stop get him and get back. Got hit by a deer, all kinds of damage. Stupid thing was conersing with the concret barrier on the turnpike and ran right into us, twice!!

My parents gave us a place to stay and fed us and helped us with insurance.

We hope to get on the road soon, gotta go get the rental car and then get Karmas brother and off we go.

I'm in sooo much pain and just feel terrible, and the only vehicle they had available is a chevey silverado. I hope Karma enjoys driving the whole time:D
 
I am now a huge fan of hunting season in the midwest.

Fricken five point buck. Damn thing would have come through the window had I not swerved the way I did... there are hoof dents on the hood of the wagon. The fuckin hood!!!

Shattered the driver's side turn signal, serious body damage all along the driver's side door and front corner, and a nasty, nasty coolant leak that had us refilling the anti-freeze every 30 miles or so. Billowing white clouds of burning coolant between stops, huge puddles of anti-freze whenever we did stop....

I hate deer. I've been wanting venison for the past three days now.
 
Lol MG! :)

Man, adventures in deer slalom! Glad you guys are (except for fibro flareup :mad: ) ok.

I read a couple years ago there are more deer now in the geographical US than in any time in history. And they are communists. Not to mention free-love hippies! At some point we have to realize, it's us or them.
 
Thanks guys, yes we are really really lucky!! There is talk of totaling the car. But we won't know for a day or two. MG watch out!! We were just outside of Pittsbugh when it happened and when I took over driving for Karma we had 2 more try to run into us.

So thankful there was no one on the road when both happened as the swerving is what saved us.

The 36 were from pittsburg to mom and dads. Crazy!!!

But apparently the beast of a truck they gave us for a rental scared them. We only saw 5 dead and 2 live on the way home.

We are back in MD for 3 days then back to Ohio to drop off Karmas brother and pick up the car (hopefuly).

Crazy weekend!!!! But our insurance has been AWESOME including covering the gas the Truck guzzles to get back to MD.

I do think we are moving in on their land, but they are over populated anyway and am all for the hunting-as long as they are eaten.

Well we are off to introduce Karma's brother to the MD people and hang out with Panda and her hubby before they move to North Carolina this weekend :mad::(:mad:


On the plus side I have an interview on Friday for a bakery in Ohio for holiday work.
 
Panda's leaving this weekend, and I'm not even going to be here to see her off. I'm a fucking wreck wrapped up in duct tape and fake smiles, because I don't want to dump this on my brother while he's here.... he's got enough of his own shit to deal with right now.
 
That is beautiful. I am five months into my poly relationship and we just came through a great weekend but now, while preparing for another big step in the relationship this coming weekend, I have developed some reservations about things I have been feeling. I'm sure I will be able to air my thoughts to my partners and we will work through but I hope to be back where you are soon after.
 
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