New Around Here :)

MNLeatherboy

MNLeatherboy

New member
Hey all! I am new to the site and hopefully a queer, trans boy heavily involved in the Leather community is welcome :)
I live in SE Minnesota with my cis-female Daddy, and have a brand new metamour that I am super excited about. I found this site when searching for whether or not it is common to also "play" with ones metamour. We don't play separately but the three of us play. Kind of new to that situation but it is going great and I am crazy about them both. Love to hear similar experiences.
 
Hi Michael,

Welcome to polyamory.com.

In poly circles, if you're in a network of three where all three members are sexually and romantically involved, it is called a triad. Both of your lovers are also your metamours. A metamour is the partner of your partner.

Therefore, triads are complicated because of these multiple roles. There are several dyads in a triad.

You + Daddy
Daddy + new person
New person + you
And then, all three of you.

I am not sure how serious you all are with each other, but assuming you want long-term relationships with both of your partners, the most important things to practice are open and honest communication, and having respect for everyone's needs, making sure no one is being shorted on attention.

I'd say that having threeway sex is more common in the swinging community. Usually poly people play/have sex separately most of the time, or all of the time. Having group sex is not required in polyamory. More often, the configuration is a V, where one person is the hinge, and has 2 lovers, but those 2 lovers are not involved with each other. Sometimes they can be friends and hang out platonically, and then, once in a while all the stars align and all three partners are attracted to each other, as in your case.

So, that's the basics. If that seems confusing or incomplete, feel free to ask more questions! :)
 
Magdlyn said:
Hi Michael,

Welcome to polyamory.com.

In poly circles, if you're in a network of three where all three members are sexually and romantically involved, it is called a triad. Both of your lovers are also your metamours. A metamour is the partner of your partner.

Therefore, triads are complicated because of these multiple roles. There are several dyads in a triad.

You + Daddy
Daddy + new person
New person + you
And then, all three of you.

I am not sure how serious you all are with each other, but assuming you want long-term relationships with both of your partners, the most important things to practice are open and honest communication, and having respect for everyone's needs, making sure no one is being shorted on attention.

I'd say that having threeway sex is more common in the swinging community. Usually poly people play/have sex separately most of the time, or all of the time. Having group sex is not required in polyamory. More often, the configuration is a V, where one person is the hinge, and has 2 lovers, but those 2 lovers are not involved with each other. Sometimes they can be friends and hang out platonically, and then, once in a while all the stars align and all three partners are attracted to each other, as in your case.

So, that's the basics. If that seems confusing or incomplete, feel free to ask more questions! :)
Click to expand...
Thank you! I think it's a little more nuanced being that we are in a 24/7 D/s relationship. I am collared to Daddy, and the new partner will be also. So we are both submissive to her. I don't really think of it as a triad since the new person and myself won't have an independent relationship. Our sexual play will always be with all three of us. I guess things don't even necessarily need labels haha. I have been married to and lived with Daddy for over 21 years. My new metamour lives in Austin TX. They have plans to go back and forth monthly, so I will only see her when she comes here or when all three of us are together at leather events.
 
MNLeatherboy said:
Thank you! I think it's a little more nuanced being that we are in a 24/7 D/s relationship. I am collared to Daddy, and the new partner will be also. So we are both submissive to her. I don't really think of it as a triad since the new person and myself won't have an independent relationship. Our sexual play will always be with all three of us.
Click to expand...
You mean, when you play with new person, you and Daddy will both play with her. But you and Daddy will still do your sex and/or kink activities one-on- one in between new person's visits, right?

Even if you and new person don't play independently of Daddy, because you are both subs and prefer the D/s power dynamic, if you are having group scenes and are emotionally involved, it still kinda ends up as a triad configuration. But yeah, if the labels are confusing, you don't have to use them. Labels can help for clarity, but if they do the opposite, who needs them? It's just that language does matter, and it can help to agree on definitions.

As long as you keep lines of communication open, things should be fine.
MNLeatherboy said:
I guess things don't even necessarily need labels haha. I have been married to and lived with Daddy for over 21 years. My new metamour lives in Austin TX. They have plans to go back and forth monthly, so I will only see her when she comes here or when all three of us are together at leather events.
Click to expand...
For group dynamics in D/s relationships of more than two, have you gotten involved in group discussions on Fetlife? While many people in this community are kinky, the focus isn't as much on the sex/kink as it is on other aspects of love relationships. (Some polyamorists are even asexual or greysexual, for example.)
 
Magdlyn said:
Even if you and new person don't play independently of Daddy, because you are both subs and prefer the D/s power dynamic, if you are having group scenes and are emotionally involved, it still kinda ends up as a triad configuration.
Click to expand...
Yeah good point :) Daddy doesn't see it as a triad haha but basically yeah it is more like that. And yes communication is great! It is a wonderful fit for all three of us and really came out of left field - neither she or us were looking!
 
Greetings Michael,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

You are definitely welcome here, and it is fun to have a variety of members. We're all unique one way or another. Many people do play with their metamour, that is perfectly okay to do. In any case, I am glad to have you with us, and look forward to your ongoing posts.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top