LDR advice

A

alice33

New member
I've been poly for a long time. I currently have a LDR since a few years and I live with my long-term NP. With my LDR we don't see each other much as it's a long way away and jobs and schedules are in the way, but I'm very fine with this rhythm. I'm also going on a general midlife crisis, lack of interest in most things, including sex. I planned since a long time to see my LDR sometime soon, but as the time is approaching I realised I do not have much energy/interest, some of which might be related to a worry that LDR wants more than we have now, as emerged in some conversations, but also this might change as we see each other or might be mostly related to other factors. I'm unable to fully understand this for now. They are very excited to meet and I feel bad about pre-emptively showing signs of a crisis which I'm not sure how will evolve, especially not in person, but also want to practice full transparency/honesty. What's your view?
 
alice33 said:
I've been poly for a long time. I currently have a LDR since a few years and I live with my longterm NP. Wiht my LDR we don't see each other's much as it's a long way away and jobs and schedules are on the way but I'm very fine with this rhythm. I'm also going on a general midlife crisis, lack of interest in most things including sex. I planned since a long time to see my LDR sometime soon but as the time is approaching I realised I do not have much energy/interest, some of which might be related to a worry that LDR wants more than we have now, as emerged in some conversations, but also this might change as we see each others or might be mostly related to other factors. I'm unable to fully understand this as for now. They are very excited to meet and I feel bad about pre-emptively showing signs of a crisis which I'm not sure how will evolve, especially not in person but also want to practice full transparency/honesty. What's your view?
Click to expand...
What is an NP?
 
Hello alice33,

LDR's are usually very hard, although having multiple partners (including at least one local partner) can help with that. The lack of enthusiasm you are experiencing sounds like a generalized health problem, and not directly related to the LDR you are in. You might want to see a doctor about the problem, maybe counseling or meds or both would help you.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.

P.S. NP = Nesting Partner
 
You could try complete honesty with your LDR partner about these feelings, your sense of midlife crisis, and that you're not sure what your feelings will be after the next visit so don't want to make any escalation plans beyond it.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top