What the hell are we???

[bajacuck]

So, we are new to this lifestyle and I am finding out there are many many dynamics. Not that I need to label this at all, but out of curiosity, I would love to know where on the spectrum of this we fall.

My wife has sex with other men. With my full knowledge and support (and complete arousal) she goes on dates with them and if all goes well, she ends up having sex with them.

• She does not do it to humiliate me (so I have been told this isn't a cuckold dynamic).
• I am not in a Dominant role, and let her select the guys she wants to pursue (so I am told we are not Stag/Vixen).
• I get off knowing other guys are having sex with my wife and my deepest desire is that they can satisfy her better than I am able to (I am told that is not a HotWife dynamic).

What the hell are we?

 

[Evie]

You're ethical non monogamists. Well, ethical so long as her sex partners are aware of your relationship.

I'm not sure why this isn't hotwifing, but I'm also pretty sure that there is no absolute definition of almost anything anymore lol.

I suspect the "spectrum" is a plane, if not a cube, rather than a line so I wouldn't get too caught up in any kind of label.

 

[bajacuck]

You're ethical non monogamists. Well, ethical so long as her sex partners are aware of your relationship.

I'm not sure why this isn't hotwifing, but I'm also pretty sure that there is no absolute definition of almost anything anymore lol.

I suspect the "spectrum" is a plane, if not a cube, rather than a line so I wouldn't get too caught up in any kind of label.

And yes she lets them know that she is married and that I am aware of what she is doing and will be told the details

 

[kdt26417]

Hello bajacuck,

I think you are a polyamorous hotwife couple -- if the labels matter. I don't take them too seriously. To be honest, cuckold and stag/vixen also fit, I guess I am just not very strict about the definitions of these words. If all three labels seem off, you can always just call yourselves polyamorists (or ethical nonmonogamists, that works too), and just let yourselves fall into some subset of that.

Regards,
Kevin T.

 

[Evie]

Whereas I wouldn't include the polyamory part since she's not developing feelings for her sex partners. If she does, then polyamory (multiple loves) is included.

 

[bajacuck]

Hello bajacuck,

I think you are a polyamorous hotwife couple -- if the labels matter. I don't take them too seriously. To be honest, cuckold and stag/vixen also fit, I guess I am just not very strict about the definitions of these words. If all three labels seem off, you can always just call yourselves polyamorists (or ethical nonmonogamists, that works too), and just let yourselves fall into some subset of that.

Regards,
Kevin T.

Yeah, it doesn't really matter, except ethical non-monogamists doesn't have a cool ring to it like hotwife or cuck. But in the end, there is no reason to call it anything in particular.

 

[bajacuck]

Whereas I wouldn't include the polyamory part since she's not developing feelings for her sex partners. If she does, then polyamory (multiple loves) is included.

Yeah the idea wouldn't be to develop feelings for them, other than excitement and carnal desire. But the true feelings will remain between her and I, hopefully this strengthening our relationship even more.

 

[Magdlyn]

Yeah the idea wouldn't be to develop feelings for them, other than excitement and carnal desire. But the true feelings will remain between her and I, hopefully this strengthening our relationship even more.

Be aware that "true feelings" can develop when you least expect it. We've had cuck-types, swingers, hotwifers, etc., come here explaining that somehow a hot sex relationship turned into actual dating, talking, cuddling, sleepovers, meals together and falling in love. Sometimes the former sex partner ends up an actual bf and they want to even cohabitate, at least part time.

But according to your other thread, maybe you can keep this to one night stands, which will prevent the "amory" part from having a chance to develop. If your wife is just servicing traveling salesmen one time each, you should be safe about not catching feels.

I'm not going to imply there is any money exchange. But as far as sex work goes, sometimes a John will develop a fondness for one particular prostitute though... But it can still remain businesslike. Sometimes.