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Grim0q0

Grim0q0

New member
Howdy there, my name is Aden and I'm new to the group. My wife and I have been married for six years now. Early in our relationship, she opened up to me that she was bisexual and needed the love of a woman, as well as myself. I wouldn't say we hunt unicorns, because my involvement is pretty minimal, and I want my wife to have to space to develop her relationships in peace.

I'm a very introverted person, so social situations can be quite difficult for me, and I prefer to stay home and game (pc).

All that being said, I'm not about the cuck lifestyle. Sometimes listening to them going on in the spare bedroom can be quite a challenge for me. This doesnt mean I'm not happy for her. I choose her every day, and I will support her in anyway I can.

Anyways, that's who I am, and I'm glad to be here. I'd love any advice that comes my way.
 
Greetings Aden,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

I have to commend you for the love and loyalty you show your wife, if you're like most of us you've been raised to be monogamous, which makes polyamory difficult to wrap your mind around. I don't know if your wife would be okay with her girlfriend/s hosting her dates with them at their house, then you wouldn't have to hear them in your spare bedroom. In any case I think you will get used to poly eventually.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

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Welcome aboard!
 
Grim0q0 said:
Howdy there, my name is Aden and I'm new to the group. My wife and I have been married for six years now. Early in our relationship, she opened up to me that she was bisexual and needed the love of a woman, as well as myself. I wouldn't say we hunt unicorns, because my involvement is pretty minimal, and I want my wife to have to space to develop her relationships in peace.

I'm a very introverted person, so social situations can be quite difficult for me, and I prefer to stay home and game (pc).

All that being said, I'm not about the cuck lifestyle. Sometimes listening to them going on in the spare bedroom can be quite a challenge for me. This doesnt mean I'm not happy for her. I choose her every day, and I will support her in anyway I can.

Anyways, that's who I am, and I'm glad to be here. I'd love any advice that comes my way.
Click to expand...
Welcome, Aden!

So your wife maybe let you know she was bisexual even before you two got married, and you agreed you'd be fine if she dated women? She has a gf (maybe has had her a long time?). I can see why it could be bothersome to hear them having sex in the bedroom while you're quite nearby.

How long have you been struggling with this?

As Kevin suggested, the women could have sex elsewhere, at least sometimes. Otherwise, you could wear headphones while gaming to block out the noise, or play music, or have them play music in their room, or watch a loud TV show. Or, even if you're a homebody, you could discuss going out when the gf first arrives, to go get a beer, go to the gym, take a walk or go shopping... whatever you like to do, and give them some time and space for all that mushy stuff. Wife could text you when they are done.

Let us know if you think these ideas would work.
 
Thank you for your warm welcome and advice. To answer some questions, my wife told me she was bi before we got married, and we've been exploring this lifestyle for the duration of our marriage. The ultimate goal, I'd say, for the both of us, is to find someone who accepts us both.

She is currently talking to someone who is interested in both of us. However, I haven't really gotten a chance to explore that yet. I guess the feeling I struggle with the most is just loneliness. I love cuddles, and my wife is the best cuddler alive. 😌
 
Well, hopefully you get that person who is interested in both of you, and hopefully you get more cuddles from your wife.
 
Grim0q0 said:
Thank you for your warm welcome and advice. To answer some questions, my wife told me she was bi before we got married, and we've been exploring this lifestyle for the duration of our marriage. The ultimate goal, I'd say, for the both of us, is to find someone who accepts us both.

She is currently talking to someone who is interested in both of us.
Click to expand...
So, besides the woman your wife is currently dating, and having sex with, within your earshot, she is also talking to someone who might be interested in both of you? This is called a "unicorn" in poly circles, because the feelings a person might have for two members of a couple is never equal. It doesn't prevent jealousy to attempt to "share a third." In fact, it can make it worse. You can search the term "triad" here for many many threads about the pitfalls of this form of relationship.
Grim0q0 said:
However, I haven't really gotten a chance to explore that yet. I guess the feeling I struggle with the most is just loneliness. I love cuddles, and my wife is the best cuddler alive. 😌
Click to expand...
Does she not cuddle you enough, now that she's got one gf, and is swept up in her infatuation? And now she's talking to someone else as well? Do you feel ignored? Are you in "poly hell," do you think?

Check out these articles, for starters.

 
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