Compersion: Merged Threads, General Discussion

kdt26417 said:
I guess one can feel compersion for one's metamour, but mostly I think compersion is about how one feels for one's partner.
Click to expand...
When my partner pixi is trying to decide on her schedule for the week, splitting her time between me and Malachi, I often have empathy for him and remind her to think about his needs, as well as her own and mine. I like everything to be in balance and everyone's needs to be met as well as possible. Sharing your time between 2 people you love can be pretty hard sometimes, for the hinge as well as for the legs of the V!
 
Magdlyn said:
When my partner pixi is trying to decide on her schedule for the week, splitting her time between me and Malachi, I often have empathy for him and remind her to think about his needs, as well as her own and mine. I like everything to be in balance and everyone's needs to be met as well as possible. Sharing your time between 2 people you love can be pretty hard sometimes, for the hinge as well as for the legs of the V!
Click to expand...

I do this too. I wouldn't call it compersion per se, but since my metamour is male and has less experience with poly than I do (as does my partner), I sometimes tell her things that I felt when I was in his situation. He may or may not feel the same way, but just knowing what's possible can often help her when those feelings DO show up (and they often do, since men are socially trained to believe certain things that can interfere with good poly).
 
Sorry to hear that JustaGuy. Poly can be hard to do without compersion. Hopefully this thread is of some help.
 
kdt26417 said:
Sorry to hear that JustaGuy. Poly can be hard to do without compersion. Hopefully this thread is of some help.
Click to expand...
I still struggle with it, like, I will probably not be happy with knowing someone I love is doing... things with someone else. I was more okay with it before I became my current partner's primary. Now that I'm on the other side of that door, IDK. Can I tolerate it? Sure, in a parallel-poly way.
 
Parallel poly is often used, it can help when you're not ready to meet your partner's other partner.
 
vandalin said:
Thanks for the replies.

Okay, let me add that I know that for some it comes naturally. I feel for me it might, although it hasn't come up yet. But how about those who it doesn't come naturally for? Say there's a SO who agrees to open the relationship, but not partake in the openness. They need to "find" compersion. And although we'd love to believe that it comes as easily as "I want you to be happy" would, it probably doesn't.

So, was it just as easy for your partner(s) to feel compersion? For the non-poly side of a poly relationship, does it just "come naturally," or did you have to work on it? And if so, was there anything in particular that helped you/them?
Click to expand...
I think compersion can only be achievable by either party if they are not being disregarded, disrespected or neglected in favour of NRE.

I gots me some reeeeal NRE trauma...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top