New to this website - Intent on using it fully to my advantage (in a good way)

[UnicornSeeker96]

Hi everyone
I've just joined the forums and would like to take some time to introduce myself.

*Warning - it is lenghty, enhanced and colorful (just my writing style)*

I'm Mel, 29F, from South Africa, in what has so-far been an open relationship with my partner Thean, 33M - In this forum it will only be me (Mel) participating.

We have been in an open relationship
for a while now, not because we want to sleep around or because we don't want to stick to one partner, but because we want to give ourselves - and each other - the freedom to explore who we are (personally, internally, mentally, physically, sexually, spiritually) in an understanding and caring enviroment where we still have that one special person waiting for us at home, who will love us no matter what we discover about ourselves.

That being said - we have both discovered that we have so much more love to give and that our lives - individually and together - will be so much more blessed and enhanced with another special person being in it

This would not be a first for me, as I have previously been in 2 similar relationships, 1 where we were an established relationship welcoming another lady, and 1 where I was the lady being welcomed in an established relationship. Both did of course not work out in the end due to different reasons that was completely avoidable, but which has given me valuable knowledge and insight to have a more successful relationship.

This would be a first for him, as he has always been in traditional relationships and has never had the opportunity to find himself within or outside of a relationship, but has through the last couple of months gathered some valuable self-knowledge.

Neither me nor him are at all jealous, insecure or closed minded in our relationship. We have complete trust in each other and welcome each other to explore themselves and do what makes them happy at the end of the day, which in return just strengthens our bond and trust in one another.

With me having some knowledge and experience with polyamory and him having none whatsoever, I will be taking full advantage of this forum, the tips, the tricks and the advice - everything I can to build my knowledge in order to have a successful polyamorous relationship.

I'm so sorry for this long introduction, I'm just so relieved to find a community where I can actually talk, discuss and learn.

On an off topic -- can someone please explain to me the difference between polyamory and polygamy...

 

[MoPoly]

Hello and welcome. Polyamory is having many loves. Polygamy is having many marital partners - usually one man and multiple wives.

 

[CoriBee]

Hi, and welcome! I, too, was looking for community when I stumbled upon this site. The members so far have been very welcoming and are all full of information! I’d suggest looking through the Golden Nuggets link to start. I’m new, too, but I’ve really been enjoying clicking on all the links here and learning about the members, as well as terminology I didn’t know before. I hope you enjoy this space as much as I have been!

 

[UnicornSeeker96]

Hello and welcome. Polyamory is having many loves. Polygamy is having many marital partners - usually one man and multiple wives.

Thank you for your explanation, if I may enquire further...

Taking into account the type of relationship that we're looking for - M, F, F in a romantic relationship, with the added benefit of exploring and discovering yourself outside of the relationship (non romantically), but also not with the intent of marriage from either one of us (all 3) - would that then be considered a polyamorous relationship, or a polygamist relationship?

I'm sorry for asking here rather than a designated forum - I'm not sure yet if there is one

 

[UnicornSeeker96]

Hi, and welcome! I, too, was looking for community when I stumbled upon this site. The members so far have been very welcoming and are all full of information! I’d suggest looking through the Golden Nuggets link to start. I’m new, too, but I’ve really been enjoying clicking on all the links here and learning about the members, as well as terminology I didn’t know before. I hope you enjoy this space as much as I have been!

Thank you

I was actually searching for apps and websites to find that special person when I stumbled upon this forum.

And since then I've decided to stay on this site - not to continue my search - because of all the helpful information that's available to me, the friendly users, and to actually have that community and space to talk about these things where I don't have anywhere or anyone else to talk about it.

So I'm so grateful for landing up here, and I'm planning on becoming an active member - if the community allows me to and doesn't get sick of my writing style

 

[Magdlyn]

Thank you for your explanation, if I may enquire further...

Taking into account the type of relationship that we're looking for - M, F, F in a romantic relationship, with the added benefit of exploring and discovering yourself outside of the relationship (non romantically), but also not with the intent of marriage from either one of us (all 3) - would that then be considered a polyamorous relationship, or a polygamist relationship?

I'm sorry for asking here rather than a designated forum - I'm not sure yet if there is one

The correct forum for asking specific questions is the one entitled Polyamorous Relationships Corner.

To answer your question, however, you'd be polyamorous. Polygamy is, of course, illegal in Western-culture countries.

Polyamory comes in many shapes, Vs, Ns, triads, quads... MFF, FMF, FFF, MMM, MFM, MMF, and that's just Vs or triads (and cis-gendered people). If you want to keep your V/triad limited to just three, and never adding more partners, it is called poly-fidelity. If all members agree to not be "closed," your poly network can expand.

See my sig for my poly network, for an example. I am dating two people, so is my gf and my bf. My gf's bf is not dating anyone besides her. My bf's gf is married to another man, as well. (I've never met his gf or her husband.)

 

[UnicornSeeker96]

The correct forum for asking specific questions is the one entitled Polyamorous Relationships Corner.

To answer your question, however, you'd be polyamorous. Polygamy is, of course, illegal in Western-culture countries.

Polyamory comes in many shapes, Vs, Ns, triads, quads... MFF, FMF, FFF, MMM, MFM, MMF, and that's just Vs or triads (and cis-gendered people). If you want to keep your V/triad limited to just three, and never adding more partners, it is called poly-fidelity. If all members agree to not be "closed," your poly network can expand.

See my sig for my poly network, for an example. I am dating two people, so is my gf and my bf. My gf's bf is not dating anyone besides her. My bf's gf is married to another man, as well. (I've never met his gf or her husband.)

Thank you so much for that explanation, I do understand better now and don't have to worry if I'm in the wrong place

 

[kdt26417]

Greetings Mel,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

It is good to have you with us, you have a fun writing style, I hope you find that special person to add to your relationship, if I can help or if you have any questions let me know. Thanks for sharing and participating!

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!