From my perspective, all of those concerns that you are expressing are the Dom's concerns to address, not yours. As a sub, it's not your place to concern yourself with ANYTHING but what your Dom wants from you, outside of what you expect of yourself. So while in "sub" mode at a party, it's not your place to worry about those things. It's his.
If he has an issue with it, then he needs to deal with it. If you have an issue with it, you need to take it to him so that he can decide if it's an issue he warrants important enough to deal with. (No disrespect intended of course. Just sharing my perspective.)
Example-- if I am out and I am in Mistress (Dom) mode, then I am in charge of making all of those decisions, and I take that responsibility QUITE seriously. It's NOT my slave's/sub's place to worry about it or concern himself with it. It's my RESPONSIBILITY to deal with it, not his.
If, on the other hand, I am out, in submissive mode, then it's not MY place to deal with or worry about those things. It's my Dom's place. I don't even let myself think about it. I do naturally catch myself worrying about little details of things and how others may perceive them, but I force myself to swallow down the thought and simply obey him. Because that's the role I'm in. If HE doesn't find it concerning or worth his attention, then it's not.
The only caveat to that in both situations, for me, is that if the sub feels that they are being harmed in any way (emotional, mental, physical, etc.) they have a right to address it immediately. IF possible, I would always address it with my Dom, because I know he would address it properly and immediately. IF possible I would expect my slave to address it with me, because I would address it properly and immediately. BUT if it weren't possible to address it through the Dom immediately, then I believe the sub SHOULD address it themselves, because it should be handled IMMEDIATELY.
A minor example of that is that ANYONE who tries to Dominate me when I'm in sub mode, or my slave, ever, will immediately be told that they are NOT the Dom and they are NOT free to do so, EVER. If my Dom is available, he would say so. Likewise with my slave, if I'm available, I will say so. But if not, I have no qualms with giving that person an earful on my own as a sub or having my slave give someone an earful on their own.
If someone touched me/my slave again, they are immediately going to get an earful, and quite possibly smacked silly, because I do NOT accept being touched by ANYONE in or out of BDSM. So that results in a hell of a quick reaction.
