Poly-Dating: How to meet like-minded people

NYC, did you check my link? Maybe you could find dates that way? Anyone you know to vouch for you? I thought it was a pretty interesting way of doing it, actually! Not something I would want, however.
 
redpepper said:
NYC, did you check my link? Maybe you could find dates that way?
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Hmm, okay. I just did, but I don't get it. What are you trying to say, that I should blog to get dates? LOL

I never really have a problem getting dates, and now OKCupid's working pretty well for me, since I'm always online, it seems, so why not? I have so many messages to sift through in my Inbox. That's what wears me out most! :D I mean, I'm in NYC, so when I do a match search on OKC, I usually get over 50 pages of results! I try to narrow it down more, and have gotten it to about 30 pages.

But I also meet people pretty easily in the real world, too. Gosh, I've gone out with men I've met in the subway, the laundromat, classes, workshops, walking down the street. In fact, I first met my husband in the post office, so... I don't really need help in finding them. Keeping them around could be a different story. ;)
 
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Oh, sorry. I hope I haven't insulted you, NYCindie. I'm sure you have no problem finding dates. I was being half funny because I thought it a very bold move, and hilarious, but also definitely a way to stand out. Not much missing there, especially as his partner wrote it! :D
 
Oh, no, I wasn't insulted at all! Hence the "LOL" I stuck in my post somewhere. No, I guess I was confused because I thought the link would take me to some kind of dating site, and when I saw the blog I was like... huh? That's all. But I guess it's another take on setting up someone you know on a blind date.
 
Scheduling

Would you believe there are no tags for 'scheduling/schedule/schedules', the issue at the core of multi-partner management?

So, how do you do it? At what point does it become cumbersome? How many partners can you pull off, with only 24 hrs in a day?

To clarify, I am a leech sucking at the lifeblood of our Northern welfare society, sitting on my arse all day and pretending to 'study'. Still, it seems I have barely time for dating, as it is! I shudder to think of what the situation would be like if I actually had a JOB. :eek:

Of the seven nights per week, two are reserved for my mum. One sleepover per week is Flattie's. (She is the lovely girl I'm currently temporarily separated from, in that I moved back to mum's for a while.) I am looking forward to establishing a pattern of weekend sleepovers/family dates with my couple, with a possibility for individual dates during the week. I think that regularity and predictability is the key to managing poly with kids. I am not normally such a scheduling nazi.

I have talked about scheduling with my sweetheart as well, to prevent excessive pining. When I'm with him I don't wish to be simultaneously interacting with anyone else, so let's say a few hours, at minimum, every other day.

And yeah, I am still living up to the hope of attracting a real primary of my own, hopefully someone who doesn't have any kind of social life of their own and/or doesn't need sleep to make time for us two to be together. Is this a pipe dream, especially since it's starting to look like I can't avoid getting a job indefinitely?
 
"How many partners can you pull off"

Poly isn't an athletic event. I don't think in terms of "I have this much time on my hands. How many partners can I pull off during that time". I don't understand it when folks think that having poly relationships means having as many relationships as you can going on simultaneously. "I have 3 partners but I'm free on Sundays and Thursdays, so I need to find another partner for those days".
 
NeonKaos said:
Poly isn't an athletic event.
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What, no medals?! :p

I try not to get into the mindset of 'I don't want to meet anyone new', since I do! I'm just not certain I have the time for them.
 
Derbylicious said:
Which is a very good thing. I'm wondering how I would even go about 'winning' at poly.
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Ask Charlie Sheen. He's said he's "winning."

And the goddesses... Well, let's not even go there.

But I think you may have to have tiger blood and Adonis DNA.
 
TruckerPete said:
By communicating better, faster, and harder than everyone else, of course!
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You forgot being more out, have more lovers, only surrounding yourself with poly people... Oh yeah, and have more sex with more people, and do more poly advocacy than anyone else.

Derby, please don't take this on. Keep your competitiveness for the rink, k? Pllleeeease??? :p
 
"How does one go about "winning" at poly"

I feel that I have already "won". One difference between me and a lot of the folks I come into contact with is that I am not a competitive person, although I tend to come across that way superficially. I do not measure my success or progress according to the success or progress of other people.
 
redpepper said:
You forgot being more out, having more lovers, only surrounding yourself with poly people... Oh yeah, and having more sex with more people, and doing more poly advocacy than anyone else.

Derby, please don't take this on... Keep your competitiveness for the rink, k? Pllleeeease??? :p
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I have absolutely no interest in taking this on. I just want to live my life. This just sounds so political. :D Oh, and I like hanging out with my non-poly friends too. I'd miss them if I tried to win at poly!
 
Not sure how to go about this

Recently I have been reading books about monogamist threesome relationships and I found that's what I have been missing in my life. But I'm a shy guy that has a hard enough time getting a relationship to work with one person, so adding another might be a bad idea. But it's all I can think about these days. I have no clue how I should go about starting/joining a polyamorous relationship. I'm still not sure if I'm just crazy, and this is a dumb idea to want this, or not. But sharing my love with 2 people just feels right. I don't know why. I think I might be ranting now. Sorry.
 
Jesuspants789 said:
Recently I have been reading books about monogamist threesom relationships and I found that's what I have been missing in my life.
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What is a "monogamist threesome relationship"?

-=-=-=-=-=-=-

I'm merging this with "How to meet like-minded people" because it's basically a "Hi I'm new at this. What should I do to get started?"

If you want to have your own thread where you can write and vent with minimal interference and maximum support, you can start one in Life Stories and Blogs, or in General Discussions / New to Poly if there is something specific that you would like to explore in a discussion or debate.

The way it is now, this topic is ongoing, and could be of benefit to others in a similar situation, as could reading the already-existing/past advice from others to yourself.
 
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NeonKaos said:
What is a "monogamist threesome relationship"?
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A poly-fi triad, maybe?

Being single at the moment, JesusPants, the quickest way to go about becoming a member of a poly-fi triad (a relationship where three people are equally involved with each other sexually and romantically, and not involved in that way with anyone else outside the triad) is to seek out a couple who are looking for a unicorn. Do a tag search on 'unicorn' and 'triads' to find out more! Your sexual orientation sets out the parameters of your search. But be forewarned, a unicorn hunt can be tiring, both for the couple hunting, AND the unicorn who is waiting for someone to lasso them. So many people eventually end up cultivating individual relationships in a formation commonly called a 'vee', which sometimes may transition into triads.
 
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Could he be a male unicorn, aka municorn?

Straight male unicorns would probably have it somewhat hard to find a couple of bisexual women interested in him, so in that case I would think first finding a poly-minded bi-woman would be the easiest :rolleyes: course of action.
 
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