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How much does your wife know and understand about polyamory? If she doesn't understand it, then she may feel threatened as she fears losing you to someone else who you could love. She may have a monogamous mindset in that area, while not feeling threatened by casual sex that has no emotional...

You may harm the existing closed relationship, and certainly could cause harm to the unknowing partner in that relationship by having a secret relationship. To me that is an unethical action in that it may cause unnecessary harm, and IMO it is also unethical to help someone break their promises.

Finding a solution that maintains the rest of the relationship may be very difficult or impossible. I think that he may eventually find someone who is compatible, including sexually. You may then become secondary, or less - depending on how things work out. That may not be what you want, but...

One thing I didn't get from your post, OP - does her husband know and approve of her seeing you? Is he seeing anyone else - i.e., is he poly, mono, or clueless?

Let me see if I understand - correct me if I'm wrong. You and your wife continue to have a great relationship. You connect well with the wife of the other couple. Your wife connects well with the husband. Your wife and the other wife get along fine, but it has taken time and effort to get...

Yes, but news like this from last December provide some hope, especially since Utah has/had some of the harshest laws: http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/news/56894145-78/utah-polygamy-waddoups-ruling.html.csp

All these old laws on the books - I wonder if they are even constitutional in light of all the changes in law and custom in recent years (other than polygamy, which is still clearly not legal)? I would think that if anyone were charged and convicted with cohabitation or violation of a law...

I got into a poly relationship about a year after I resumed dating after separating from my ex. I've always been interested in poly, but it wasn't an option with my ex. I met a woman who was also interested in poly, and she was the one who suggested we consider it. I was also dating another...

I only have experience with the swingers locally, and have not met or heard of any who have any interest in a poly relationship. They are about the sex, and occasionally about friendship - but in the few cases where the sex ended, so did the friendship, regardless of what they may have said...

If they are really poly or in an open relationship, their spouse is usually willing to confirm this or even meet you. In online profiles, I even state this. Simply ask to speak to or meet their spouse or SO before getting involved. You can have an initial meet to see if you are actually...

I knew in my teens that polyamory was very appealing to me. That was over 40 years ago. I was inspired by the novels of Robert Heinlein. I also knew that it would be very difficult to find someone who shared similar views, so by default I lived a mono/married life for many years. When I...

Our only hard and fast rules are maintaining good communication, and keeping each other and any partners fully informed. There is always a risk that a new relationship can supersede an existing one. We feel that if someone else truly does make us happier, then that relationship can/should...

I agree with this, and this is how we've done it. It works for us to know more than may be strictly necessary, but that's better than being surprised.

Our mindset is poly, but we've had long stretches where it was just the two of us - monogamous in practice but not in principle. When we first met, she had a long term boyfriend, and I soon met a long-term secondary woman. That latter lasted for several years, but her bf found a primary early on...

I find statistics fascinating, too, but they are hard to find (at least anything reliable) when it comes to non-traditional relationships. We were in an N configuration shortly after we got together (as primaries). We each had a secondary (another man for her, another woman for me). Her...