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If you cannot block/delete at this time, then just "mute." Do not go "chasing" her on unblocked platforms, trying to send her messages there. Do not peek in her social media things to see what she's doing. However sad or regretful? She broke up with you. So respect her limit and be broken up...

I'm sorry. It doesn't sound like she really has a healthy poly relationship to offer you. Since she broke up with you and blocked you, respect her wishes and let it be over. Delete/block all the things from your end as well. Take good care of yourself in the coming days/weeks/months as you...

Glad you had a talk. Glad that moving forward, he will get a hotel when he visits, rather than staying in the shared home. That doesn't mean anything other than they each had poly relationships before. They each might be good at it or they might not. Either way? You still need to speak up for...

Wow. I think it have been better for her to have brought all this up before you and she were living together, because then you wouldn't have to see her going to/coming back from dates with other people or deal with her hosting someone in her home (which is now also your home.) Is this home a...

Wow. I'll be honest. You are dealing with a lot, MrD. I'm going to give you some things to think about, ok? You don't have to answer any here, just maybe reflect on them. I think you could slow down. You just learned the news recently. Trying to move into an open marriage that began with...

I'm sorry. This sounds hard. It's not polyamory. At this point it is open to sharing casual sex on her side and you have the option also but don't want to use it. I'm not all that sure that you are happy in an open marriage. You sound like you wish this never happened. Could that be true...

I'm sorry to hear all this. This is where you get to say "I don't need to hear details like that." And skip it even if it is "public" conversation in group chat. Your eyes and ears belong to YOU. If she's constantly talking sex stuff? You don't have to listen. Walk away. Bow out of the group...

Wow, 6 is a lot of kids! Since you've been together 6 years, are some of these kids his from previous relationships? Like a blended family? Are they all (you + him) kids or only this latest baby? I think you could use some support to figure out what to do. What you describe isn't just...

Welcome. Gently... is there a reason you, husband, and Lady can't be friends? Why does it have to lead into polyamory? From what you’ve written, it sounds like you’re considering a triad or a V, where you all date each other, or he dates both of you. Is this really a good idea, him dating a...

It sounds like you are scared to think about life without him. I can understand that. It's a big change, esp with a baby. Gently, if telling him your needs, or protecting your health would make him leave, then what relationship is that, really? It's mostly you staying quiet and accepting...

Casual group sex is not polyamory—especially the way your partner frames it, as something that would have to be “one and done,” with someone she’d never see again. That’s very different from a continued romantic relationship, which is what polyamory involves. I could be wrong in my impression...

I’m sorry the forum feedback wasn’t quite what you were hoping for. I hope your couple counseling session is helpful and that things improve for you, one way or another. GG

I don't know if this helps you any for your upcoming couple counseling appointment. Counseling is expensive and emotionally demanding, so be as honest and direct as you can. The therapist will hear you. Your wife might not—she may deflect, deny, or minimize—but the therapist will. That matters...

I hope you feel a bit better for writing all that out. I did my best to take it all in, but may have missed some bits. You have a LOT going on. Internet people might be able to help you with 1 or 2 things, but I honestly think you need a counselor for longer-term support. I'm glad you are...

I mean this kindly, ok? I'm not trying to be mean. Gently, you can't tell him what to be or what not to be. That is his choice to make. You CAN tell him that you no longer want to be in a polyamorous relationship with him—especially given that he hasn’t upheld shared agreements, hasn’t been...

Glad Costa Rica was a much needed rest and reset for you! Yes. I can imagine this is all painful. Good for you. Journaling, talking to counselor, taking things one. at a time -- all reasonable. It's been a lot in a short time. What are you doing for anger management/processing? The...

Yes — I can see how this would be confusing. Anyone would feel that way in this situation. FWIW, I don’t think you actually need to “solve” her or get to the exact truth of what she feels, means, or wants. You could simply accept that she’s "all over the place" right now and frequently changes...

I’m really sorry you’re going through all of this. Honestly, I don’t even know how to respond — there’s so much happening here. I hope writing it out helps you vent a bit. From what you’ve described, a few patterns keep coming up repeatedly: She makes agreements without follow-through. She...

What changed in your existing partner, especially since they didn't want any counseling? Also, why date the same person? If a new triad thing works, great. People can arrange themselves how they want. But there are problems with dating as a couple seeking a third, such as couple privilege...

You seem to answer it in your posts. I could be wrong, but it sounds to me like this: You want typical monogamy. You want a monogamous partner who is honest, open, can spend lots of quality time together, can be happy hanging around the house with dogs. You do NOT want anyone who is dishonest...