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I've read through your thread and I have to agree with what everyone is saying. The chances are that if you have a hunch he's borderline or has NPD, he probably does. I thought I'd take the liberty of pointing out a few things from your first post for you to look at if you are considering...

Damn. I'm so sorry to hear it went down like that after a positive conversation. It sounds like Maria felt foolish in bed alone while Matt stayed with you. She may have felt like the two of you were talking about her, or sharing words of longing while she was out of earshot. It also sounds...

Hi LG, I don't think it's a dick move that you came here for advice. I really feel for you. It sounds like you aren't ready to sleep with people / date just yet. It sounds like you need longer to heal, and that you would be better off taking it slower. As others have said, it takes time. I...

Hi TangleDiamond, I understand your position, but I also understand Maria's. It is incredibly painful to want to fully explore and express your love for Matt, but to be hindered by other factors. It is also no doubt incredibly painful for Maria to feel that she is 'old driftwood' after 20...

I must admit, Boolean... I did have the same worry that people are raising about C. Hopefully this is not the case, but very caring, giving, considerate, amiable people do tend to be targets for selfish people... and abusive people. Why? Because sweet, amiable people tend to doubt themselves...

Hi Emmy, Ok, so bud is not just your husband/Dom, but your husband/Master. I understand that you took responsibility for setting the alarm and that responsibility is of high importance for you. How you feel about this and what you want to/can do about it depends on the Master/slave agreement...

Hi Csmarie, Ouch. I really feel for you! What you are going through is perfectly understandable. First things first - have your partners made a big deal of *their* anniversaries prior to this big 10 year one? Could it be that it's just this one that matters to them, but they're generally not...

Hi Emmy, So, to repeat what I understand: - You've been feeling a little delicate because you're craving some alone time with Bud - Things are a bit intense at the moment, because Sweet Lady is having a rough time and has been at the house more often - You accidentally set the alarm...

Hi Boolean, Firstly, I'm sorry to hear that you were with an abusive woman, but good for you for getting out of that! :) Onto C then... Honestly, I would be happy putting this down to early relationship ambiguity. Don't regret going on the cruise - you made a choice that you needed to make...

Hi Gborochick, To be honest with you, being in relationships is about giving, understanding, and compatibility. That's pretty much it, in my opinion. There's a saying somewhere that immature love is about what you can get out of a partnership, while mature love is about what you can give to and...

Hi Cuppycake, I definitely see your issue. Money is definitely a big consideration when doing any kind of dating, especially long-distance, and especially when poly (multiple people, multiple dates, joint finances, etc.). The bottom line is that you (or rather, hubby) can't do what you (he)...

Hmm... I'll offer my perspective, for what it's worth. Firstly, when you say "between interludes," do you mean during pauses in play, or do you mean separate conversations outside of play? This is an important difference. If he's talking to her outside of play, the chances are he might be...

Hi Ticia, Ooh. The plot thickens. I love a good bit of resentment. Haha. On a serious note - I hear you. Don't even get me started on mismatched libidos/interest. Vicious cycle of pressure and rejection. I should know, I'm smack bang in the middle of that very cycle myself ;) I think that...

Hi Ticia, You're very welcome! I was about to suggest everything that Kevin has suggested, so I think his post is definitely the right way forward. The relationships board of a forum is naturally going to be full of poly problems, because that's the purpose of the board :) The success stories...

LovelyLady, Given everything you've shared about what's been happening (from your perspective, granted), it doesn't come as a surprise that you aren't happy. You are in a situation now that is not going away. It's time to make a decision. You were happy with his last arrangement but are not...

Welcome Ticia, I absolutely understand your dilemma. I think it's perfectly natural to want to explore other people given your lack of dating experience and the problems you faced in your relationship. There are many different approaches you could take to this. Adding new relationships to an...

I actually understand why you are finding this tricky. While I'm the kind to just come straight out and ask my GF in private what she wants (and my metamour, if the opportunity/friendship is there), it doesn't mean I'd always believe what she's saying. There's always the risk that someone is...

I think it's literally all about what you want/need vs. what you can get! That's where relationship compatibility comes in. Relationships also change over time, and while you might not be getting everything you need right now, it doesn't mean you won't get more in the future. There's nothing...

Hi Rar, So, if I understand this right, you and hubby + brother and Miss M all lived under one roof, but now have to live separately. You've been living in the city with hubby and a friend. Miss M and V are moving in a week to the suburbs. You've seen M twice in a month, and it was very...

Hi reflections, Nice to meet you :) You are definitely not alone in your struggle. I actually disagree that it's not brave of you to encourage your husband to find someone who brings him happiness. It is brave. You could be a total arse and set one rule for you and another from him. You could...