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- Thread starter Claire808
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I think the sooner the better. You should tell your potentials you are seeking poly partners and are not up for monogamy. Part of dating is sorting out compatibility, so you may as well get on with it.
Before you start sharing sex with a partner is definitely the time to disclose that you are active and sharing sex with other people, if you haven't made that clear before then.
Disclose your risk profile and ask them about their risk profile. That way you both are giving informed consent and can decide if you two want to share sex with safer sex practices in place, change to lower risk activities and wait for a new round of labs, or skip sharing sex while waiting for a new round of labs.
It's just being responsible.
Be up front about it. That is my suggestion.
Galagirl
Before you start sharing sex with a partner is definitely the time to disclose that you are active and sharing sex with other people, if you haven't made that clear before then.
Disclose your risk profile and ask them about their risk profile. That way you both are giving informed consent and can decide if you two want to share sex with safer sex practices in place, change to lower risk activities and wait for a new round of labs, or skip sharing sex while waiting for a new round of labs.
It's just being responsible.
Be up front about it. That is my suggestion.
Galagirl
Do you know Frank's values? Is he one of those guys who believes in monogamy from the first date? Will he likely feel like this amazing woman he's been falling for has been "cheating" on his the entire time because he assumes you're exclusive without it ever being said?
Do you want to remain poly, or would you go mono for him?
Honestly though, regardless of your answers to these (and you don't have to share your answers, they are just food for thought) I'm with Gala that the sooner the better. Honestly, it's probably already past due.
Do you want to remain poly, or would you go mono for him?
Honestly though, regardless of your answers to these (and you don't have to share your answers, they are just food for thought) I'm with Gala that the sooner the better. Honestly, it's probably already past due.
Most poly people who meet others on dating sites put something about ENM/poly in their profiles, so potentials can know before they even swipe. Just imagine how they'd feel if they were mono and fell for you, and then realized they'd be permanently sharing you with others!
I can put myself in their shoes. I'd be pissed. I'd feel you just wasted a bunch of my precious time, and played around with my emotions, my heart.
Now, when I was 19 and home on summer break from college, I was casually dating 3 or 4 guys. This was before we had the term polyamory. One was an old friend turned lover, Tom. One was a brand new guy I'd met at college just as the semester ran down, Mitch. The third was a friend of a friend, Tony, and it was more of an experiment... just a few dates and a few kisses. The third was the brother of a high school friend, Tom 2, and I got drunk at a party at their house and woke up next to him... oops!
(Gosh, I haven't thought about that summer in a while; I was feeling myself lol)
This was mostly all so casual, and we were all so young, I didn't think anyone needed to know about the others. Turns out they were all summer flings except for Tom 1.
But as an actual full grown adult, busy with a job, with ideas of marriage, family, etc. looming, yes, it's definitely only polite to let people know who you actually are and what you're seeking right up front.
I can put myself in their shoes. I'd be pissed. I'd feel you just wasted a bunch of my precious time, and played around with my emotions, my heart.
Now, when I was 19 and home on summer break from college, I was casually dating 3 or 4 guys. This was before we had the term polyamory. One was an old friend turned lover, Tom. One was a brand new guy I'd met at college just as the semester ran down, Mitch. The third was a friend of a friend, Tony, and it was more of an experiment... just a few dates and a few kisses. The third was the brother of a high school friend, Tom 2, and I got drunk at a party at their house and woke up next to him... oops!
(Gosh, I haven't thought about that summer in a while; I was feeling myself lol)
This was mostly all so casual, and we were all so young, I didn't think anyone needed to know about the others. Turns out they were all summer flings except for Tom 1.
But as an actual full grown adult, busy with a job, with ideas of marriage, family, etc. looming, yes, it's definitely only polite to let people know who you actually are and what you're seeking right up front.
Bobbi
Well-known member
I thought so...but I've read from the beginning and each time I come back I only see new posts....shouldn't old responses still be here? Or did the editing the original post just make everyone else's posts disappear...maybe I'm just seeing something weird.
Sorry for hijacking
Sorry for hijacking
Hi Claire808,
I would say sooner is better than later when it comes to letting your serious partners know that you are dating multiple people. They need to have the opportunity to decide for themselves whether they'll consent to a poly situation like this. You'll have to decide when the time is right, but in very general terms, I suggest that sooner is better than later.
Regards,
Kevin T.
I would say sooner is better than later when it comes to letting your serious partners know that you are dating multiple people. They need to have the opportunity to decide for themselves whether they'll consent to a poly situation like this. You'll have to decide when the time is right, but in very general terms, I suggest that sooner is better than later.
Regards,
Kevin T.
I'm pretty sure I see all the responses, but the OP is gone, so it's kind of pointless for anyone to keep adding feedback anyway.