This is not strictly a poly inquiry, but Fetlife has been mentioned a few times on this site and I hope some people familiar with the site can help me.
Since you cannot browse Fetlife without joining, I decided to join using minimal information so I could just explore. I added a photo (in retrospect, not sure if I should have at this point) to show some limited participation. I chose what I thought was a cool photo of me, very tame compared to many on the site. I was contacted by a younger man who saw the photo and sent me a full nude of himself with his semi-erect cock in his hand! He wanted to please a cougar/daddy. So, welcome to Fetlife! Perhaps the profile pic I chose suggested more dominance than I thought (I suppose that’s what I’m putting out there holding a feathered crop and wearing a Venetian mask, although this is only one aspect of myself). I realized I had completely missed the privacy options page and readjusted my settings. I added exploring and just curious to my bio. Kevin will be happy to know I told the inquiring man that I wasn’t looking for any contact at this time, just exploring & missed setting my privacy page.The man was very apologetic.
So, this falling-into-the-deep-end experience has led me back here to ask for a bit of help. I have 2 questions for people more experienced with Fetlife:
(1) Is it considered good etiquette to display your age and gender/preferences in a label form? I find labels quite limiting to both the user and recipient but I could see why Fetlife would want to display that info. It’s not that I mind others knowing my preferences/age but I would not normally introduce myself immediately in a chat as ‘I’m Phoenix, a 53 yo bisexual (probably pan) female, how are you?’ Is this the expected/preferred intro? Will this info (including my age which led to the first contact) display every time I post something? Are there ways to limit the display of info other than my location?
(2) Does anyone have any recommendations on interesting Fetlife groups/pages to check out? I really like the art of Shibari and would like to learn to tie/rig but want to check out the entire BDSM community to see what else I like. My partner and i enjoy some light bedroom activities (we switch) at home and are considering building a sex room, so I would like to explore the BDSM world more thoroughly.
Since you cannot browse Fetlife without joining, I decided to join using minimal information so I could just explore. I added a photo (in retrospect, not sure if I should have at this point) to show some limited participation. I chose what I thought was a cool photo of me, very tame compared to many on the site. I was contacted by a younger man who saw the photo and sent me a full nude of himself with his semi-erect cock in his hand! He wanted to please a cougar/daddy. So, welcome to Fetlife! Perhaps the profile pic I chose suggested more dominance than I thought (I suppose that’s what I’m putting out there holding a feathered crop and wearing a Venetian mask, although this is only one aspect of myself). I realized I had completely missed the privacy options page and readjusted my settings. I added exploring and just curious to my bio. Kevin will be happy to know I told the inquiring man that I wasn’t looking for any contact at this time, just exploring & missed setting my privacy page.The man was very apologetic.
So, this falling-into-the-deep-end experience has led me back here to ask for a bit of help. I have 2 questions for people more experienced with Fetlife:
(1) Is it considered good etiquette to display your age and gender/preferences in a label form? I find labels quite limiting to both the user and recipient but I could see why Fetlife would want to display that info. It’s not that I mind others knowing my preferences/age but I would not normally introduce myself immediately in a chat as ‘I’m Phoenix, a 53 yo bisexual (probably pan) female, how are you?’ Is this the expected/preferred intro? Will this info (including my age which led to the first contact) display every time I post something? Are there ways to limit the display of info other than my location?
(2) Does anyone have any recommendations on interesting Fetlife groups/pages to check out? I really like the art of Shibari and would like to learn to tie/rig but want to check out the entire BDSM community to see what else I like. My partner and i enjoy some light bedroom activities (we switch) at home and are considering building a sex room, so I would like to explore the BDSM world more thoroughly.