Greetings eve82519,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.
I read your post in your other thread and
responded there; to summarize, I think it is fine to ask your partner to go slower, he is letting NRE dictate his pace and actions, and that is a dangerous route to travel. He can have it all, he just needs to go slower.
There is a book that may be helpful to you; it is called, "Opening Up: a guide to creating and sustaining open relationships," by Tristan Taormino. It will help you plan your poly journey, and may take some of the mystery out of poly, for the position you're in. You don't have to be polyamorous; poly isn't for everyone, and you can have a mono/poly relationship with your partner. Although it's conceivable that you might find that you are interested in poly for yourself after all.
It sounds like you've known from the very beginning that your partner was polyamorous. Had you ever heard of polyamory before you met him? What were some of your initial thoughts when you first heard about it? Does it seem immoral to you? Does it seem impractical to you? Do you feel displaced/demoted by his desire to be poly? These are probably some of the initial questions you should explore as you talk to him about the idea of opening up your relationship. I hope we can help.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"
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