Not really an advice seeking post. Just a share of a loving change in circumstances.
Married for 19 years this year, with my nesting partner, Green.
For the past number of years (since 2018) I've had a relationship with my second partner, named, Red, on here.
Nearly 2 years ago, we stopped being intimate due to some changes in circumstances as Red tried to navigate his feelings surrounding polyamory (previously only monogamous).
During that time we still were close in all other ways, just not sexual. Last year this time my mom got cancer and I left for 9 months (we had previously been on and off long distance so no big deal). But when I came back home, I was not in a good mental space to try to rekindle what we had sexually.
I made it clear that I wanted our relationship to continue to be non sexual, and if possible to stay how it was with the connection we had. But I have had so much going on that I needed more time for myself.
This weekend I visited for the first time in a few weeks. And of course we fell back into how we've always been. I love this man to the end of the world.
Except today he asked if we would ever be intimate again. He was sweet and kind when asking. And I blurted out that I didn't know and started crying and he held me. And we talked while embracing for what felt like forever. I needed that, and he knew it. And I told him that for now to just assume the answer was a no, as I cried. He understood (in his own way, although still monogamous mindset) and just held me and said nothing else had to change, he just wanted to know because he loved me and wanted to be intimate again, but knew he needed to ask.
It broke my heart to admit it to myself and him now, that we would not be intimate again, even though I had settled with it when he decided not to be intimate nearly two years ago.
But I'm glad the conversation was had. Even if it still makes me cry. Lol. And I don't know why exactly.
Married for 19 years this year, with my nesting partner, Green.
For the past number of years (since 2018) I've had a relationship with my second partner, named, Red, on here.
Nearly 2 years ago, we stopped being intimate due to some changes in circumstances as Red tried to navigate his feelings surrounding polyamory (previously only monogamous).
During that time we still were close in all other ways, just not sexual. Last year this time my mom got cancer and I left for 9 months (we had previously been on and off long distance so no big deal). But when I came back home, I was not in a good mental space to try to rekindle what we had sexually.
I made it clear that I wanted our relationship to continue to be non sexual, and if possible to stay how it was with the connection we had. But I have had so much going on that I needed more time for myself.
This weekend I visited for the first time in a few weeks. And of course we fell back into how we've always been. I love this man to the end of the world.
Except today he asked if we would ever be intimate again. He was sweet and kind when asking. And I blurted out that I didn't know and started crying and he held me. And we talked while embracing for what felt like forever. I needed that, and he knew it. And I told him that for now to just assume the answer was a no, as I cried. He understood (in his own way, although still monogamous mindset) and just held me and said nothing else had to change, he just wanted to know because he loved me and wanted to be intimate again, but knew he needed to ask.
It broke my heart to admit it to myself and him now, that we would not be intimate again, even though I had settled with it when he decided not to be intimate nearly two years ago.
But I'm glad the conversation was had. Even if it still makes me cry. Lol. And I don't know why exactly.