Am I poly? Could really use some help, I’m feeling very lost.

goldie33

New member
Hi all, I ended up here because I really have nowhere else to go and I could really use some insight. I’ll try to be brief, but here’s my situation: I’m a 37 year old female in a long term relationship with a male, but I have recently found myself falling deeply in love with someone else. It has no bearing on my feelings towards my current boyfriend. I just feel like I have more love to give than to one person only.

I’ve felt like this many, many times throughout my life and have always been told “you can’t have your cake and eat it too” so I’ve done my best to remain monogamous, even though it often feels like it may not be my natural state and that I’m swallowing some of my real feelings in order to do what society deems right. When I was much younger I cheated in a couple relationships, which resulted in those relationships ending. I felt terrible for hurting my significant other at these points and so I stopped doing this, but truly my cheating back then had no bearing on my feelings for my boyfriend at the time. I have always felt like I could happily be with more than one person. I have been in love with two people at once multiple times.

So here’s where things are currently. I’m completely, utterly at a loss as to whether I’m poly. My boyfriend and I had a discussion about my wondering about this and he was understanding, although unsure about how he would feel if I were to be with someone else. To be honest, I also don’t know if I could be ok with him being with someone else. The type of poly I may be most comfortable with would be where I’m able to be in multiple relationships but with someone who’s monogamous with only me (is this even a thing)?

The other guy I’ve developed feelings for has made it clear that he is not interested in a poly relationship whatsoever. Based on my past and current situation I really don’t know if I am having feelings for this new person because of new relationship energy and my current relationship perhaps feeling a bit more settled into/ less exciting these days - or if I really am just poly and in fact have been all this time.

Obviously I can’t continue this current situation the way it is, but I’m really struggling with whether I’m just having new exciting feelings for this new person or if I could really be finally acknowledging that poly might be my true relationship orientation. I do know that I could happily be in a relationship with both people at once. The idea makes me feel happy and frankly relieved.

Has anyone ever been in a situation like this? Any insight would be incredibly appreciated. I just feel like I could really use some advice from someone who’s maybe been in a similar place and questioning. Thank you so very much.
 
I'm going to state this this is my opinion, but say that is an informed opinion.

When you're poly, it's a subscription to a wider philosophy about relationships and the significance of exclusivity. I strongly believe that it doesn't really make sense to a poly person that they are capable of this multiple love and the other is not.

The thing where someone has multiple monogamous partners is "a thing", but IMO the times it is most likely to be healthy is when an experienced dominant is in a kinky dynamic with similarly experienced submissive partners. It's not about anyone's comfort so much as an expression of consensual sexual control.

There's nothing that you've said that would lead me to believe this is the sort of thing you mean.
 
Hello. I also am relatively new to all of this but I am currently in the middle of a situation where someone did just what you’re considering.

My wife and I have been married 12 years and we opened up our relationship 2 years ago so she could start dating a woman she developed feelings for. This has gone well for us, and it’s clear it’s been freeing for my wife in many ways, but it does have its challenges. (See my topic just below yours lol).

Whenever me or my meta have brought up seeking other partners, my wife clearly gets nervous. She says that she isn’t sure she could handle that because she’d get jealous. She says she wants to be enough for each of us on her own and us seeking other people makes her feel like she’s not. When we bring up that this is what she’s done to us, she points out that she didn’t seek to fall in love with her second partner, it just happened. She feels like us active looking means we’re dissatisfied with a part of our current relationship whereas she was perfectly happy with her and my relationship when she fell for her friend.

I think, in the long run, this is something my wife is going to have to work out if we’re going to keep this thing going. Even if myself or my metamour don’t see other people, my wife needs to work out her feelings of why she doesn’t want us to and for this to stay healthy, she’d likely need to learn to be okay with letting go and trusting us a little.

I say all of that, to say the same to you…

My advice would be to really work on yourself and figure out why you’d want to have the freedom to pursue multiple partners but you wouldn’t prefer your partners doing the same. Once you have an answer for that, you can start to consider whether you should open your relationship.

Hearing it from the outside though, it doesn’t seem like these are the two men to start it with. Your boyfriend sounds amenable enough but after 15 years he’s clearly just putting your needs before his own and wants to go along with whatever helps you find fulfillment. The second partner your considering sounds completely disinterested. I’d recommend against pursuing that person as a second partner. Even if it did work out, I don’t feel they’ll ever be fully invested in the dynamic and I promise that will end up causing someone pain.

Those are just my thoughts though and I have way less experience than everyone else here so take them with a grain of salt.

For what it’s worth, I really empathize with you. Reading your story felt just like sitting across from my wife a couple years ago and I hate to see anyone that torn about what to do.

Good luck figuring it all out. :)
 
So here’s where things are currently. I’m completely, utterly at a loss as to whether I’m poly. My boyfriend and I had a discussion about my wondering about this and he was understanding, although unsure about how he would feel if I were to be with someone else. To be honest, I also don’t know if I could be ok with him being with someone else. The type of poly I may be most comfortable with would be where I’m able to be in multiple relationships but with someone who’s monogamous with only me (is this even a thing)?

"Mono-poly" is a relationship model. But you do not have that here.

If this BF prefers monogamy and you realized you no longer want monogamy? You want time and space to actively seek poly relationships? You two may need to talk about breaking up. Rather than bending into pretzels trying to avoid a break up.


The other guy I’ve developed feelings for has made it clear that he is not interested in a poly relationship whatsoever.

And that is fine. If this person wants monogamy? Each person gets to pick what they want for themselves.

If you seek poly? You do not date strictly monogamous people.


Based on my past and current situation I really don’t know if I am having feelings for this new person because of new relationship energy and my current relationship perhaps feeling a bit more settled into/ less exciting these days - or if I really am just poly and in fact have been all this time.

I suggest you do your soul searching then and decide what you want to do.

You already know you don't want monogamy.

You already know you do not like cheating because it hurts people.

You already know this potential and current BF do not want to do poly with you.

So if you are going to give yourself a chance to figure it out from a clean page? You might have to break up, heal, educate yourself and finally get around to actual poly dating on the level.

Obviously I can’t continue this current situation the way it is, but I’m really struggling with whether I’m just having new exciting feelings for this new person or if I could really be finally acknowledging that poly might be my true relationship orientation.

It can be BOTH things? These new feelings were a lightbulb moment, even if the dude himself is not up for poly? And you realized that there is a name for how you felt / are? The word is "polyamory?"

I do know that I could happily be in a relationship with both people at once. The idea makes me feel happy and frankly relieved.

And that's fine. You realize you aren't "wrong" to feel how you do. But a 3 people yes thing is not here. YOU might be good dating both men. But THEY do not consent. A poly V thing is not what they want for themselves.

And that is ok. People can each want what they want. Your job is is to figure out what YOU want, and then seek compatible companions for that.
 
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I'm going to state this this is my opinion, but say that is an informed opinion.

When you're poly, it's a subscription to a wider philosophy about relationships and the significance of exclusivity. I strongly believe that it doesn't really make sense to a poly person that they are capable of this multiple love and the other is not.

The thing where someone has multiple monogamous partners is "a thing", but IMO the times it is most likely to be healthy is when an experienced dominant is in a kinky dynamic with similarly experienced submissive partners. It's not about anyone's comfort so much as an expression of consensual sexual control.

There's nothing that you've said that would lead me to believe this is the sort of thing you mean.
Thank you so much for your insight.
 
Hello. I also am relatively new to all of this but I am currently in the middle of a situation where someone did just what you’re considering.

My wife and I have been married 12 years and we opened up our relationship 2 years ago so she could start dating a woman she developed feelings for. This has gone well for us, and it’s clear it’s been freeing for my wife in many ways, but it does have its challenges. (See my topic just below yours lol).

Whenever me or my meta have brought up seeking other partners, my wife clearly gets nervous. She says that she isn’t sure she could handle that because she’d get jealous. She says she wants to be enough for each of us on her own and us seeking other people makes her feel like she’s not. When we bring up that this is what she’s done to us, she points out that she didn’t seek to fall in love with her second partner, it just happened. She feels like us active looking means we’re dissatisfied with a part of our current relationship whereas she was perfectly happy with her and my relationship when she fell for her friend.

I think, in the long run, this is something my wife is going to have to work out if we’re going to keep this thing going. Even if myself or my metamour don’t see other people, my wife needs to work out her feelings of why she doesn’t want us to and for this to stay healthy, she’d likely need to learn to be okay with letting go and trusting us a little.

I say all of that, to say the same to you…

My advice would be to really work on yourself and figure out why you’d want to have the freedom to pursue multiple partners but you wouldn’t prefer your partners doing the same. Once you have an answer for that, you can start to consider whether you should open your relationship.

Hearing it from the outside though, it doesn’t seem like these are the two men to start it with. Your boyfriend sounds amenable enough but after 15 years he’s clearly just putting your needs before his own and wants to go along with whatever helps you find fulfillment. The second partner your considering sounds completely disinterested. I’d recommend against pursuing that person as a second partner. Even if it did work out, I don’t feel they’ll ever be fully invested in the dynamic and I promise that will end up causing someone pain.

Those are just my thoughts though and I have way less experience than everyone else here so take them with a grain of salt.

For what it’s worth, I really empathize with you. Reading your story felt just like sitting across from my wife a couple years ago and I hate to see anyone that torn about what to do.

Good luck figuring it all out. :)
I really appreciate that and thank you for your kindness. I know the current situation isn’t going to work in this regard, but I guess what I’m really wondering most is if the fact that I’ve been able to be in love with multiple people at the same time (more than once in my life) is a sign that I would be more suited for polyamory than monogamy?
 
"Mono-poly" is a relationship model. But you do not have that here.

If this BF prefers monogamy and you realized you no longer want monogamy? You want time and spaced to actively seek poly relationships? You two may need to talk about breaking up. Rather than bending into pretzels trying to avoid a break up.




And that is fine. If this person wants monogamy? Each person gets to pick what they want for themselves.

If you seek poly? You do not date strictly monogamous people.




I suggest you do your soul searching then and decide what you want to do.

You already know you don't want monogamy.

You already know you do not like cheating because it hurts people.

You already know this potential and current BF do not want to do poly with you.

So if you are going to give yourself a chance to figure it out from a clean page? You might have to break up, heal, educate yourself and finally get around to actual poly dating on the level.



It can be BOTH things? These new feelings where a lightbulb moment, even if the dude himself is not up for poly? And you realized that there is a name for how you felt / are? The word is "polyamory?"



And that's fine. You realize you aren't "wrong" to feel how you do. But a 3 people yes thing is not here. YOU might be good dating both men. But THEY do not consent. A poly V thing is not what they want for themselves.

And that is ok. People can each want what they want. Your job is is to figure out what YOU want, and then seek compatible companions for that.
I really appreciate your insight, thank you! Do you think the fact that I’ve been in love with more than one person at once multiple times in my life is an indicator that polyamory suits me better than monogamy? Or is it just a thing that happens to people sometimes? It’s a little hard for me to know as this is all quite new to me. Maybe the fact that I don’t know how I would feel if a partner wanted to be with other people also is a sign that I don’t really want polyamory but instead am just wanting to have my proverbial cake and eat it too? How do you know the difference?
 
I think the feelings you’re talking about certainly sound like you’d be interested in polyamory. I’m not sure how it would work in you’re current situation but if you’re ever in a different situation, it sounds like it’d a least be worth giving a shot.
 
I think the feelings you’re talking about certainly sound like you’d be interested in polyamory. I’m not sure how it would work in you’re current situation but if you’re ever in a different situation, it sounds like it’d a least be worth giving a shot.
Even if I wasn’t necessarily comfortable with my partner being with other people?
 
Even if I wasn’t necessarily comfortable with my partner being with other people?

You know people who have long term affairs? You know they often say they are in love with two (or more) people?

When you speak to them about why they won't attempt polyamory, they'll often cite a discomfort with their partner having other partners.

Sometimes that's because they feel that their partner pushed them into infidelity by slacking or lacking in the relationship. They feel it would be unfair for their (s)lacking partner to be able to give what they aren't giving to them, to someone else. Sometimes they say they wouldn't be interested anyway.

Either way, the idea of proposing a situation where both parties have equal opportunity to have other relationships is not an option. It's too uncomfortable.

My point here is that the ability to love more than one person (while not offering the same in return) is not exclusive to polyamory.

If one of your exes that you cheated on turned up here and said "my ex cheated on me yet the fact she had sex/was in love with someone else didn't bother me at all, just the lying, might I be well suited to polyamory?". I'd say "yes, it's highly likely".
 
You know people who have long term affairs? You know they often say they are in love with two (or more) people?

When you speak to them about why they won't attempt polyamory, they'll often cite a discomfort with their partner having other partners.

Sometimes that's because they feel that their partner pushed them into infidelity by slacking or lacking in the relationship. They feel it would be unfair for their (s)lacking partner to be able to give what they aren't giving to them, to someone else. Sometimes they say they wouldn't be interested anyway.

Either way, the idea of proposing a situation where both parties have equal opportunity to have other relationships is not an option. It's too uncomfortable.

My point here is that the ability to love more than one person (while not offering the same in return) is not exclusive to polyamory.

If one of your exes that you cheated on turned up here and said "my ex cheated on me yet the fact she had sex/was in love with someone else didn't bother me at all, just the lying, might I be well suited to polyamory?". I'd say "yes, it's highly likely".
I see what you mean. I think realistically I would need to be at least somewhat open to a partner being able to have other partners as well, if I was able to have other partners. It’s so confusing trying to determine if I should insist on having an actual poly relationship in the future or not. Historically I’m happy with someone for a few years (I may be interested in other people but don’t act on it since I’ve been conditioned to believe that it’s wrong - although I could happily date new people as well I don’t because I don’t want to hurt anyone) - but then after a few years I usually do start to develop real feelings for someone else in addition to my partner.
 
Do you think the fact that I’ve been in love with more than one person at once multiple times in my life is an indicator that polyamory suits me better than monogamy?

I think it just means you can love more than one person at a time.

People in monogamous relationships sometimes feel that too. They just choose NOT to act on it.

And you know what? Sometimes poly people chose not to act on it either! Because they are saturated and have no space for more relationships or any relationships. They too have to balance work and other obligations.

Maybe the fact that I don’t know how I would feel if a partner wanted to be with other people also is a sign that I don’t really want polyamory but instead am just wanting to have my proverbial cake and eat it too? How do you know the difference?

How about at this time? It just means you just don't know how you would feel if a partner wanted to be with other people?

Part of it depends on you. Part of it pretty much depends on the partner. If they are respectful you are gonna feel more ok with it than if they are cheaters or assholes about it, right?

And if you want to change your comfort level? You have to figure out how you will BECOME ok with your partner dating others. Maybe you want to order the Polysecure book.

Just don't get ahead of yourself. Take it ONE thing at time here instead of zooming down the road chasing anxiety "what if this?" and "what if that?"

It's not like poly people NEVER feel jealous, or anxious or whatever it is. They are simply prepared to feel X and deal with it appropriately. (Or not.) People are people.

You JUST discovered the word "Polyamory." How about just sitting STILL with it for a time?

Before making big life changing decisions? Again... do some reflection, do some soul searching. Read about poly and the relationship skills required to be good at it. Read about pitfalls and what NOT to do.

If you end up deciding after a period of reflection that you DO want to go explore poly? And neither potential crush guy nor current BF are up for that? They want monogamy instead? You accept that you have become incompatible.

It means part of your preparation to explore poly will include breaking up with these people so you can begin to poly date from a fresh start, a clean page.
  • Nobody cheating.
  • Nobody being railroaded into poly because they don't really want any but are scared to break up.
  • No jumping in blind and undereducated.
  • No "kid in a candy store" weird.
  • Nothing murky or ill-intentioned.
  • Just you poly dating people who hopefully want poly relationships just as you do.
  • All adults involved know what they practice together and JOYFULLY consent to being there.
  • And like any other kind of dating? It will pan out or not because the people find themselves compatible or not.
Slow down and take this one thing at time. That is my suggestion.

Some links if you wanted to start reading


Go easier on yourself. If you are having some kind of epiphany moment that is throwing the whole way you used to think about things? Changing your understanding of yourself? It's a lot. It is ok to slow down and take it in a bit at a time.
 
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I think it just means you can love more than one person at a time.

People in monogamous relationships sometimes feel that too. They just choose NOT to act on it.

And you know what? Sometimes poly people chose not to act on it either! Because they are saturated and have no space for more relationships or any relationships. They too have to balance work and other obligations.



How about at this time? It just means you just don't know how you would feel if a partner wanted to be with other people?

Part of it depends on you. Part of it pretty much depends on the partner. If they are respectful you are gonna feel more ok with it than if they are cheaters or assholes about it, right?

And if you want to change your comfort level? You have to figure out how you will BECOME ok with your partner dating others. Maybe you want to order the Polysecure book.

Just don't get ahead of yourself. Take it ONE thing at time here instead of zooming down the road chasing anxiety "what if this?" and "what if that?"

It's not like poly people NEVER feel jealous, or anxious or whatever it is. They are simply prepared to feel X and deal with it appropriately. (Or not.) People are people.

You JUST discovered the word "Polyamory." How about just sitting STILL with it for a time?

Before making big life changing decisions? Again... do some reflection, do some soul searching. Read about poly and the relationship skills required to be good at it. Read about pitfalls and what NOT to do.

If you end up deciding after a period of reflection that you DO want to go explore poly? And neither potential crush guy nor current BF are up for that? They want monogamy instead? You accept that you have become incompatible.

It means part of your preparation to explore poly will include breaking up with these people so you can begin to poly date from a fresh start, a clean page.
  • Nobody cheating.
  • Nobody being railroaded into poly because they don't really want any but are scared to break up.
  • No jumping in blind and undereducated.
  • No "kid in a candy store" weird.
  • Nothing murky or ill-intentioned.
  • Just you poly dating people who hopefully want poly relationships just as you do.
  • All adults involved know what they practice together and JOYFULLY consent to being there.
  • And like any other kind of dating? It will pan out or not because the people find themselves compatible or not.
Slow down and take this one thing at time. That is my suggestion.

Some links if you wanted to start reading


Go easier on yourself. If you are having some kind of epiphany moment that is throwing the whole way you used to think about things? Changing your understanding of yourself? It's a lot. It is ok to slow down and take it in a bit at a time.
Thank you so much for this. Really needed to hear that. I’m feeling a lot of pressure from new crush to decide between current bf and him (he keeps saying he doesn’t want to feel like he has to convince me to be with him, which I understand). it’s just all a lot right now. I really appreciate your insight. I felt a little hurt that when I asked him openly about his thoughts on poly he was like “absolutely not, no way“ which made me feel like he wasn’t really interested in my needs, concerns or questions.
 
I’m feeling a lot of pressure from new crush to decide between current bf and him (he keeps saying he doesn’t want to feel like he has to convince me to be with him, which I understand).

Well, that's easy to solve. You decline and get rid of him. Cuz he says one thing. And does another.

Says he doesn't want to pressure you and then hangs around presssuring. Sheesh. Could say

"My answer is NO. I'm not sure I even want monogamy. So best you seek someone who does and could be more compatible."

And that gets rid of him and all his pressuring.

Cowboys that want to "rope you off" for themselves exist in monogamy AND in polyamory. Nothing new or special.

So are unkind people who bother you when you are going through an identity crisis or crisis of faith or whatever you want to call this.

I really appreciate your insight. I felt a little hurt that when I asked him openly about his thoughts on poly he was like “absolutely not, no way“ which made me feel like he wasn’t really interested in my needs, concerns or questions.

If he's like that NOW? Makes your choice to give this a pass even easier, huh?

Usually people are on their best behavior at the start of things. That's all he has for best? Pressing you? And caring more about him gaining access to you than your actual well being?

Pfffft. Give this guy a pass. Then you can return to your reflection without this noise buzzing about you.
 
Well, that's easy to solve. You decline and get rid of him.

"My answer is NO. I'm not sure I want monogamy. So best you seek someone who does and could be more compatible."

And that gets rid of him and all his pressuring.

Cowboys that want to "rope you off" for themselves exist in monogamy AND in polyamory. Nothing new or special.

So are unkind people who bother you when you are going through an identity crisis or crisis of faith or whatever you want to call this.



If he's like that NOW? Makes your choice to give this a pass even easier, huh?

Usually people are on their best behavior at the start of things. That's all he has for best? Pressing you? And caring more about him gaining access to you than your actual well being?

Pfffft. Give this guy a pass. Then you can return to your reflection without this noise buzzing about you.
That’s so true. You’re right! He is big on “these are my needs, I won’t compromise my needs” so its like big no on poly because of his needs, which is fine. But why he makes me feel like a bad guy for even being open to it or questioning I don’t understand. My current boyfriend at least doesn’t make me feel like an asshole for being open and talking about it as a possibility.
 
But why he makes me feel like a bad guy for even being open to it or questioning I don’t understand.
He's showing you who he is. Believe him.

You don't need this guy undermining your self evolution. Move on.
 
But why he makes me feel like a bad guy for even being open to it or questioning I don’t understand.

Why do you need to understand why he does X before you can make a decision?

If being around him feels yucky? That's enough to decide not to be around him any more. *shrug*

You don't have to JADE being open minded about poly. (Justify, argue, defend, or explain.) It's ok to just agree to disagree and let it go.

My current boyfriend at least doesn’t make me feel like an asshole for being open and talking about it as a possibility.

You and current BF may not be compatible any more if you choose to move on to do poly and he wants monogamy. But he sounds respectful/polite. And not "shame-y" like the other dude.

People don't all have to be the same or like the same things.
 
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Besides Polysecure, or another great book about open relationships called Opening Up, you could read Sex at Dawn. It is based on anthropological and social studies. The conclusion is that all humans were promiscuous in the past (as are all mammals) and lived in groups where they could change partners if they wanted to, or add a new partner for just a season, whatever. We have created social constructs in our "civilization" that run on the concept of MF monogamous relationships as the base. This set up doesn't jive with our actual natures, and so while most people try to force themselves into monogamous molds, the relationships often fail, cheating happens, or separation/divorce happens.

Think about it: if monogamy was natural we wouldn't enjoy fictional books or short stories about new romances, or movies, we wouldn't seek out porn, we would never fantasize about people other than our current mate. We wouldn't be so fascinated by the turnovers in the love lives of celebrities. We wouldn't enjoy putting ourselves in the shoes of people in the exciting throes of new or multiple relationships.

However, there is a difference between truly loving someone so much, you want to be with them forever, and just keep falling more and more in love/lust with them, and just being a NRE (infatuation) junkie, constantly seeking the high of being with someone new, the pursuit, the early lust, like a shiny new toy. That is why successful happy poly people are those with great communication skills, and basic human decency.

You can be promiscuous if you like. There's nothing wrong with it per se. You can be a swinger and just have fairly shallow sex with new people. But most grounded poly people generally end up with only 2 serious partners. They might have a couple long-distance or comet partners they only see a few times a year, or a few times a decade. But generally, they end up committing to just a couple of people, if there is long-term compatibility. Indeed, some poly people do not act on their poly desires when they are overwhelmed with young children, or elder care, or if a partner is chronically ill and needs care, etc.

If you feel like you could be in love with more than one, and would want to commit to say, 2 other partners, long term, you might be suited for polyamory and be successful at it. If you're afraid you'd just tire of a person after 2-3 years (after NRE wears off), you might want to consider telling new prospective partners that you have that tendency.
 
Besides Polysecure, or another great book about open relationships called Opening Up, you could read Sex at Dawn. It is based on anthropological and social studies. The conclusion is that all humans were promiscuous in the past (as are all mammals) and lived in groups where they could change partners if they wanted to, or add a new partner for just a season, whatever. We have created social constructs in our "civilization" that run on the concept of MF monogamous relationships as the base. This set up doesn't jive with our actual natures, and so while most people try to force themselves into monogamous molds, the relationships often fail, cheating happens, or separation/divorce happens.

Think about it: if monogamy was natural we wouldn't enjoy fictional books or short stories about new romances, or movies, we wouldn't seek out porn, we would never fantasize about people other than our current mate. We wouldn't be so fascinated by the turnovers in the love lives of celebrities. We wouldn't enjoy putting ourselves in the shoes of people in the exciting throes of new or multiple relationships.

However, there is a difference between truly loving someone so much, you want to be with them forever, and just keep falling more and more in love/lust with them, and just being a NRE (infatuation) junkie, constantly seeking the high of being with someone new, the pursuit, the early lust, like a shiny new toy. That is why successful happy poly people are those with great communication skills, and basic human decency.

You can be promiscuous if you like. There's nothing wrong with it per se. You can be a swinger and just have fairly shallow sex with new people. But most grounded poly people generally end up with only 2 serious partners. They might have a couple long-distance or comet partners they only see a few times a year, or a few times a decade. But generally, they end up committing to just a couple of people, if there is long-term compatibility. Indeed, some poly people do not act on their poly desires when they are overwhelmed with young children, or elder care, or if a partner is chronically ill and needs care, etc.

If you feel like you could be in love with more than one, and would want to commit to say, 2 other partners, long term, you might be suited for polyamory and be successful at it. If you're afraid you'd just tire of a person after 2-3 years (after NRE wears off), you might want to consider telling new prospective partners that you have that tendency.
I really appreciate that. Thank you so much for the information. I do feel like I could be in love with more than one, and have been multiple times in my life, but I’m honestly not sure I would be ok with them being in love with someone else besides me. That makes me unsure of whether I would be suited for polyamory. Do you definitely have to be open to your partner/s having other partners?
 
Do you definitely have to be open to your partner/s having other partners?
Reread both of SEASONEDPoly's replies above.
 
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