Very, very long post ahead, just a warning. Hello, I'm here to share the story of my relationship and see if others have had similar experiences. My relationship is currently mono, although I myself am poly, so I do apologize in advance because the story is mostly the story of a mono relationship, but I share this because it has the potential to bloom into a poly one, and I'm curious if others have had similar experiences.
So, the context, I'm 29, and my girlfriend is 43. We're both disabled, I'm completely blind and she has several physical disabilities. Our relationship has lasted for six years, and is going very strong. We've come up with several ways to deal with our situations. She'll do things like putting my coffee cup in the exact same place every day when she washes dishes so I know where it is, and I'll do things like helping her put her socks on when she gets done showering because she has trouble bending and doing some fine motor tasks. She goes shopping, I put groceries away. She does all the dishes because she hates other people touching her dishes and I hate doing them myself, and I do the trash because I like the solitudes of the walks to the dumpster, and she hates doing trash.
Our communication is excellent. In our entire 6 year relationship, we've never let an argument fester, and we've never even used an insulting name when we've had disagreements. I literally can't even remember a time ever when we insulted each other in any sort of non-joking manner for any reason. We find solutions, listen to each other's point of view, and don't devalue each other.
We have a crap ton in common, we spend most of our nights reading, watching tv together, or playing either Hearthstone or World of Warcraft together. We joke with each other all the freaking time, and we have our own sense of humor and inside jokes we've developed over the years.
It's not perfect, no relationship is. We've had disagreements and issues we've had to work out, but we have good communication, so we've always found a way to resolve any issues that may come up.
I told her I was poly at the beginning, and she was, a bit grudgingly accepting of it. We came to the conclusion that I not actively look, but if something happened organically, I could go for it. She's slowly changed her attitude toward polyamory, becoming more and more accepting of my poly nature. We're at the point to where the whole, "no active looking" thing is out the window. She now encourages me to actively look, and is noticeably happy when I talk about someone I'm talking to, asking if they'll be a potential partner. I was in a short ldr recently, and my girlfriend was actively planning what we'd do if my other girl moved to where I lived, she was talking about getting a bigger apartment, sleeping arrangements, I swear she was more excited about my relationship than I was. It didn't work out with that ldr, but it still encouraged me. My girlfriend really and truly accepts me for who I am.
Now, the kicker. The one thing I haven't mentioned is how we met. That's the part of the story I'm curious on, have people had similar experiences? So, one day, about 6 years ago, I was on a phone chat line, one of those relics of the past that nobody goes on anymore. I find this woman, and her greeting sounds cool. I won't quote it here, it sorta gives a tad of personal info about my girl that she finds embarrassing. Needless to say, I message her. It's 4 in the morning, and she has this roommate who's sleeping. She doesn't wanna wake him up, so she messages me back all quiet. I can't hear for the life of me, (it really is a myth that blind people have better senses, my hearing is shit lol) so I tell her I can't hear her. I don't hear back from her, guess she hung up.
I go on there hours later, guess who's on there? It's her, but her roommate's at work, so she can talk. We talk for an hour or so, agree to meet that day, I get my ass on the bus, go down to this Chinese restaurant we agreed to meet at, and we meet and have a great first date. Within two weeks, she is living with me. Yes, just two whole weeks.
This is the story of how we met, we were dating a day or so after we met, and living together two weeks, and it's turned out... well, it's turned out exactly how I described. I know, I know. There are a trillion red flags, like an absolute freaking trillion. We broke every single rule for sensible or wise dating, and for the luck and life of us, it worked out better than I ever imagined.
I'm not trying this again. My second girlfriend will be someone who I build up with. I honestly do not believe a feat like this can be pulled off again, but I'm curious. Has anyone had a similar experience, and has anyone ever had an experience like this with a partner besides the first? I'm honestly wondering if I truly am the lucky one in a million, or if this is more common than I think? Thanks, y'all, for reading this very, very long post.
So, the context, I'm 29, and my girlfriend is 43. We're both disabled, I'm completely blind and she has several physical disabilities. Our relationship has lasted for six years, and is going very strong. We've come up with several ways to deal with our situations. She'll do things like putting my coffee cup in the exact same place every day when she washes dishes so I know where it is, and I'll do things like helping her put her socks on when she gets done showering because she has trouble bending and doing some fine motor tasks. She goes shopping, I put groceries away. She does all the dishes because she hates other people touching her dishes and I hate doing them myself, and I do the trash because I like the solitudes of the walks to the dumpster, and she hates doing trash.
Our communication is excellent. In our entire 6 year relationship, we've never let an argument fester, and we've never even used an insulting name when we've had disagreements. I literally can't even remember a time ever when we insulted each other in any sort of non-joking manner for any reason. We find solutions, listen to each other's point of view, and don't devalue each other.
We have a crap ton in common, we spend most of our nights reading, watching tv together, or playing either Hearthstone or World of Warcraft together. We joke with each other all the freaking time, and we have our own sense of humor and inside jokes we've developed over the years.
It's not perfect, no relationship is. We've had disagreements and issues we've had to work out, but we have good communication, so we've always found a way to resolve any issues that may come up.
I told her I was poly at the beginning, and she was, a bit grudgingly accepting of it. We came to the conclusion that I not actively look, but if something happened organically, I could go for it. She's slowly changed her attitude toward polyamory, becoming more and more accepting of my poly nature. We're at the point to where the whole, "no active looking" thing is out the window. She now encourages me to actively look, and is noticeably happy when I talk about someone I'm talking to, asking if they'll be a potential partner. I was in a short ldr recently, and my girlfriend was actively planning what we'd do if my other girl moved to where I lived, she was talking about getting a bigger apartment, sleeping arrangements, I swear she was more excited about my relationship than I was. It didn't work out with that ldr, but it still encouraged me. My girlfriend really and truly accepts me for who I am.
Now, the kicker. The one thing I haven't mentioned is how we met. That's the part of the story I'm curious on, have people had similar experiences? So, one day, about 6 years ago, I was on a phone chat line, one of those relics of the past that nobody goes on anymore. I find this woman, and her greeting sounds cool. I won't quote it here, it sorta gives a tad of personal info about my girl that she finds embarrassing. Needless to say, I message her. It's 4 in the morning, and she has this roommate who's sleeping. She doesn't wanna wake him up, so she messages me back all quiet. I can't hear for the life of me, (it really is a myth that blind people have better senses, my hearing is shit lol) so I tell her I can't hear her. I don't hear back from her, guess she hung up.
I go on there hours later, guess who's on there? It's her, but her roommate's at work, so she can talk. We talk for an hour or so, agree to meet that day, I get my ass on the bus, go down to this Chinese restaurant we agreed to meet at, and we meet and have a great first date. Within two weeks, she is living with me. Yes, just two whole weeks.
This is the story of how we met, we were dating a day or so after we met, and living together two weeks, and it's turned out... well, it's turned out exactly how I described. I know, I know. There are a trillion red flags, like an absolute freaking trillion. We broke every single rule for sensible or wise dating, and for the luck and life of us, it worked out better than I ever imagined.
I'm not trying this again. My second girlfriend will be someone who I build up with. I honestly do not believe a feat like this can be pulled off again, but I'm curious. Has anyone had a similar experience, and has anyone ever had an experience like this with a partner besides the first? I'm honestly wondering if I truly am the lucky one in a million, or if this is more common than I think? Thanks, y'all, for reading this very, very long post.
