Bed size issues. (hopefully I'm putting this is the right thread)

I'm in a closed triad with my 2 partners, right now I work graves so this isn't an immediate issue but it will be soon. I'm switching over to swing shift so here soon our bed will be to small. We're closing in on being together a year and I've only been working graves the past like 3 months so this was an issue before. Also, the days I go to bed and they're still asleep it's 50/50 whether there will be enough space. They're both belly sleepers and I'm side/back sleeper. I have to fall asleep on my back then after that I tend to roll over onto my side. They start on their side then eventually roll over onto their bellies. Now here's the problem, we have a king size bed. So we recently started talking about getting a bigger bed but we have limited space and the california king is longer not wider. I did some research and the smallest size we can get without me becoming one with the wall (this is a regular issue I have a wall of stuffies protecting me from the wall) is a wyoming king, now everywhere I look this bed is soooooo expensive. Only 2 of us are working the third can't he has some mental health issues that prevents that. Granted the two working are working full time and making a decent amount. My point is 1. Anyone else dealing with this issue? and 2. Anyone know somewhere that sells them online (I live in the US) that's affordable?
On a side note I did find a site that sells them it's just over 1.5k for the frame alone and nearly 2k for the bed. I just can't afford that. The frame alone would be most of my check and I only get paid once a month.
 

Bariah

Member
A thought. Get a queen, put the two beds next to one another. Then invest in a dense memory foam from an industrial supplier, cut it to fit over the area of the two beds put together. Maybe sew a cover for the foam to ensure it won't be rough or uncomfortable to sleep on. Now it will behave like one bed, so long as they are kept at the same height. The problem with this method is that, while it is cheaper than replacing a perfectly fine bed with a much more expensive one, you now have the problem where there will never be sheets that you could buy, and you'll have to make bedding to go on top of the foam. Too, you'd have to ensure that the dreaded bed-sink-hole doesn't form between the mattresses somehow. Personally, I wouldn't see this as a problem if I slept in the world's most spacious bed. Plus, it'll be an opportunity to work on your seamstress/seamster skills.
 

GalaGirl

Well-known member
My aunt and uncle had pushed together beds. So did my grand aunt and grand uncle.

Then my friend does the bunk bed thing with the queen one the the bottom.

Could start with bed on floor.

Ana White and others have build plans, so could adjust measures and build the frame to suit.


GG
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
Hello Thatwitchychicky,

Yeah I've heard that combining two beds is a common solution in poly. In my case, I don't sleep with my partner, so a single/twin size works well enough for me. My partner and metamour sleep together and I think they have a king.

Regards,
Kevin T.
 

Magdlyn

Moderator
Staff member
I guess you're saying you only have one bedroom and one bed for 3 adults. Many poly people who share a home (say, 3 people in one house/apartment) provide separate bedrooms for each person, and arrange a rotation of who sleeps with whom on a given night (or day, if you work nights). You say you're in a triad, not a V? Each person is romantically/sexually involved with both the others? That's fine, but it doesn't mean you have to actually sleep together all night, if sleeping styles don't mesh. It is extra awkward for you because you work the graveyard shift and so you're getting home near to the time your partners will be getting up. But they are still there, sleeping at first, taking up all the room in the bed. Then I imagine after a couple hours, they are getting up for the day, and possibly disturbing you when they do!

Also, what happens if two partners wake up horny and want to have sex? Do they disturb the person who is just trying to get much-needed sleep?

Personally, it would drive me up a wall (ha) if I were in a triad and expected to sleep all night with both partners. I am in a V and it happens that both of my partners have very hot bodies at night. I can get overheated just sleeping with one of them. I often have to put a pillow between me and a partner to get a decent night's sleep.

I also need to get up at night to pee, and if I were in the middle of the other 2 people, or against the wall, that would mean somehow climbing to the bottom of the bed to get out of it, trying not to disturb anyone.

All that said, I did do family bed with my ex-husband and our kids when they were small. I was more limber then, so climbing to the bottom of the bed was easier (still not fun). Also, my children really needed me/us at night, so I was willing to all bunk in together. My ex built a simple platform bed frame. We laid a queen and a single futon on top of that, and a foam slab on top of the futons. That served as our "big bed" as long as the children needed that closeness. Each person had their own blanket, except for me, who shared a blanket with the infant. While kids are very cute when they are sleeping, and being in a big puppy cuddle puddle was cozy and secure for all, I must say it was a relief when I could go back to just sleeping with my husband.
 

MeeraReed

Well-known member
Even with just a two-person couple, I would not be sharing a bed with a partner who was getting up and coming to bed at wildly different times than me. I would need 2 bedrooms and 2 beds (which honestly does not mean there will be less sex and less cuddling, just that there will be more good sleeping time for each of us separately).

Three adults should have at least 2 bedrooms, if not 3. What if someone just wants to read alone in the middle of the night? What if someone has a cold (or covid) and wants to sleep alone?
 
So for clarification we live in a 2 bedroom apartment. But I have a daughter so she uses the other room. We are a triad which does mean we are all dating each other. One of my partners doesn't work the other goes to work at the same time I get off work the other is not currently working. Us wanting "alone" time while the other is sleeping does happen occasionally but we have found ways around it. My entire concern is sleeping itself. I am gonna be switching to sleeping at night again soon cus my schedules gonna be changing. We can't afford to get the amount of rooms we'd need for each of us to have room and also we don't really want to do that. We like having the one room for the 3 of us. All of us sleep better when we're sleeping with each other so it doesn't make sense for us to sleep seperately. I am tall we could try the california king sideways but I'm 6 ft so I'm not sure how well that'll work but I can look into it. Thanks for the replies.
 

GalaGirl

Well-known member
Does the bed (by whatever configuration) have to fit 3 across?

If one doesn't mind sleeping alone, could get a twin and angle it off the existing bed. Like "L" shape?

How old is daughter? Could her room have a trundle bed for you? Like a stepping stone until you can get a 3 bedroom flat?

Galagirl
 
She's 8. In my opinion far to old to be sharing a room with mom. We did some figuring and we're pretty sure we can do a California king sideways. The bed we have fits us all until the roll onto their stomachs then I get squished. We're hoping the extra 8 inches the California king gives will be enough space for me to not get squished. I'm still not sure when I'm gonna be switching to days but I'm hoping to get the new before then. Again I feel I need to point out we all have a hard time sleeping alone. Before them I was in 10 year long relationship I don't sleep well by myself and they've been sleeping in the same bed for 8 years so we don't really see separate beds as an option. I realize this makes us odd. But we're figuring it out.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
It's fine that the three of you are more comfortable sleeping together, the sideways California king sounds like a good solution. Good luck!
 
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