Bisexual and Polycurious.

[naenaechem]

Hello everyone, I’m Nae.

I am 35 years old, a chemist, and bisexual. I’ve been married to my partner (let's call her Z, 46F) for 9 years tomorrow.

I have always struggled with monogamy. I met Z when I was only 22 and we have been together ever since. I spoke up about being interested in poly and possibly opening up our marriage a few months ago. This site has been an invaluable resource. I am really relating to everyone’s stories and can’t believe I didn’t connect the dots before now. I might not just be bi, but also poly.

-- a struggling bisexual in a monogamous marriage.

 

[Evie]

Welcome Nae,

Happy anniversary for tomorrow, although you don't sound super happy with the big picture right now.

As you've likely read, since you've been here a while, although one may be inclined to be able to love multiple people concurrently (and not feel like they have to fall out of love with one person in order fall in love with another) polyamory also involves a skill set that places it not purely as an orientation, but also as a deliberate choice as to whether or not to actually have concurrent relationships, AND to be secure that your partner(s) might also have concurrent relationships with you and someone you are not connected to otherwise.

I hope you can have a frank discussion with Z about how both of you can live fulfilled lives in this likely next stage of life.

 

[naenaechem]

Welcome Nae

Happy anniversary for tomorrow, although you don't sound super happy with the big picture right now.

As you've likely read since you've been here a while, although one may be inclined to be able to love multiple people concurrently (and no feel like they have to fall out of love with one person in order fall in love with another) polyamory also involves a skill set that places it not purely as an orientation, but also as a deliberate choice as to whether or not to actually have concurrent relationships AND to be secure that your partner(s) might also have concurrent relationships with you and someone you are not connected to elsewise.

I hope you can have a frank discussion with Z about how both of you can live fulfilled lives in this likely next stage of life.

Thanks, Evie. <3

 

[kdt26417]

Greetings Nae,

Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Bisexuality and polyamory are definitely two different/independent things. You are to be commended for recognizing both within yourself in due time. I'm sorry you are having some struggles. Maybe this is your chrysalis between the caterpillar and butterfly stage. Sometimes one thing has to end before another can begin. Even if Z consents to being open and/or polyamorous, and the two of you stay together, your marriage will look very different with the new open/poly characteristics. It's almost like one marriage ends and another marriage begins.

Anyway, I'm glad to have you with us, and hope you won't hesitate to ask any questions you may have.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!

 

[naenaechem]

Greetings Nae,

Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Bisexuality and polyamory are definitely two different/independent things. You are to be commended for recognizing both within yourself in due time. I'm sorry you are having some struggles. Maybe this is your chrysalis between the caterpillar and butterfly stage. Sometimes one thing has to end before another can begin. Even if Z consents to open/poly and the two of you stay together, your marriage will look very different with the open/poly characteristic. It's almost like one marriage ends and another marriage begins. Anyway, I'm glad to have you with us, and hope you won't hesitate to ask any questions you may have.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!

Thank you so much for the warm welcome! I have a million questions already. But in time I will ask them all.

 

[kdt26417]

Sounds good, welcome aboard.