Thanks for providing more details. It sounds like you and your wife (let's call her Abby), have made some good progress into dealing with the deeper issues of growth, self-knowledge, a retreat from codependency, etc.
I named your wife Abby to give her space as her own person, not just her relationship to you. Let's call the others John and Jessica that reason and for clarity.
OK, we agree. This clears up a lot of confusion. You were taking on her boundary as your own.
That's big. This will make independent dating much smoother.
You're welcome.
Maybe soon we'll hear about what Abby's future plans are with John and Jessica. Are they too predatory, i.e,. aggressive and pushy, despite lack of proof of good sexual health? Does Abby know males can have yeast infections without symptoms and pass them to women? Are J&J careless with their sexual health, in general, and therefore not good people to have sex with?
Will Abby want to reconsider dating/fucking couples and stick to one-on-one scenarios so she can feel more informed about each person and not in the dark about intentions (like who is going to be there, who is going to have sex with whom), and not ganged up on, etc.?