So Artist and I went away for the weekend for the first time in years
- he agreed it had been too long, really, but 2020 was obviously what it was and 2018
were both really weird summers that didn’t lend themselves to weekends away. This… this was astonishingly worth waiting for.
The funny thing about Artist is that he doesn’t love road trips. So while one *can* go to either the mountains or the beach within a reasonable drive from here, I happened to find a ridiculously cute AirBnB with hot tub access and some fun things to do nearby, like, 45 min out of town, so that’s where we ended up. (And that was totally fine, honestly - I spent all the time we would have spent in the car doing stuff instead, so I sort of see his point, although I think we exhausted the entertainment ideas of that tiny little town.)
So we left earlier than we could actually check into the place on Saturday, and ended up getting brunch at a little German bakery/restaurant here before we even got on the road. We had *thought* about going hiking, but since it was one of those oppressively humid North Carolina days decided to be decadent instead and went and found a little cidery (is that the right word? Like brewery except cider) and split a couple of flights and talked about… well everything really. Honestly, really, just having hours and hours to talk was actually the best part of the weekend, which is surprising given some other bits.
Checked in - the cabin turned out to be even cuter than I expected, which was great - and more or less immediately had astonishingly good sex. Twice. I guess that’s what happens when we’ve been talking for a few hours…
Went and got dinner (disappointing restaurant actually; it I think it used to be far more interesting but kind of dumbed down the menu post-Covid) and came back and curled up on the couch to watch a movie and chill for a bit before the second part of the evening (already planned before we even left town)… kinky vacation sex. I will omit details other than to say it was definitely … well. I am his Toy to play with however he wants and usually what he wants is to make me scream in every way possible.
Woke up to more (exceptional even for us) sex the next morning (ridiculously early for me; the cabin lacked curtains), then eventually went and spent some time In the hot tub. And that… usually we don’t really spend a lot of time talking about the deeper nuances of our lives with our spouses or how we ended up where we are now. But for whatever reason that was where we were, and it was definitely one of those randomly intense conversations made of vulnerability? There are a lot of nuances I get now about why our relationship developed around constraints the way it did, and why those constraints are now basically gone; I think he understands more about the dynamics of Knight and I too (there were bits I didn’t realize I had never told him, though I suppose it doesn’t surprise me in that both of us very much avoid the pattern of “complain about one partner to the other” and some of these things it’s hard to discuss without *sounding* like you’re complaining). Regardless it was definitely one of the most… absolutely emotionally naked conversations we’ve ever had.
Then we went kayaking… more accidentally deep conversation and the utter *peace* of being in a boat on a river with nothing but wildlife around you… (those bits were short lived as it was a really nice day for such things so there were a decent number of other paddlers around; still, it was a bit of river that was apparently too shallow for anything with an engine and wide enough that we could mostly skirt each other.
Lunch, more conversation (omg they were slow bringing our food and it would have been tedious with almost anyone else on the planet), then pick up the makings of a charcuterie board and wine for the evening. A bit more hot tub time as neither of us are used to the level of workout that kayaking is, but also more conversation (including a bit where I explained the weird combination
of anger and gratitude that was my reaction to him not wanting to see me during the early part of quarantine …)
And this - it’s going to sound weird but we almost never really spend time together just *being* and not interacting. So he ended up watching a movie while I read a book but we cuddled and randomly interspersed bits of conversation while doing so and it was just… how decadent is it to have one’s feet rubbed while reading? And I think we both needed a little bit of a break from relating just because we had already spent such an intense 24 hours.
But then after the movie we had charcuterie and *really* good wine… but the really fun part was that we had planned to do Δ8 again
. (If you’re not familiar with it, it’s a kinda-sorta-mostly-legal thc analogue, all of the fun and almost none of the paranoia) - the last time we did it was astonishing and if anything this was better just because of the really deep connective mode we were already in… he asked me at one point (because he knew I do this occasionally with Knight) whether what we were feeling was just the chemicals, if they were always this much. The thing is they’re *not* - all it does is magnify and time-dilate and intensify, but if it’s not there to start it’s just not. So… the part where I felt like my body *became* poetry, became a physical manifestation of the word yes… that was real. Also the part where chocolate literally became orgasmic, and the part where even my male partner lost track of his own orgasms, let alone mine… (I swear I am not exaggerating, despite the multiple conversations we had about no one would ever believe this experience, LOL. But then I say that fairly often…)
light reflects from your / shadow and it’s more than I / thought could exist /…/ if someone believed me / they would be as in love with you as I am
And this morning was a bit more sex and a really lovely walk along a river and the sort of “did that really happen and was your experience as astonishing as mine” conversation that one HAS after something like that… and I’m in the most delicious state of this-can’t-possibly-be-NRE-after-six-years but HOW is it still so AMAZING?