I've been poly 5 yrs and recently got in a new poly relationship. She has another poly partner b4 me and they still are. I had a fwb prior to my now poly partner. Weird question here. Am I allowed to still see my fwb while in my new poly relationship or is this frowned upon? She seems to think it is and I should stop playing with my fwb. From what I recall and live by is being poly means you can love more than 1 person. I love my friends, family etc. Based off that I love my fwb also but not in love although I am falling hard for my new poly relationship. Am I wrong by this? Why I'm confused.
Confused
- Thread starter Nikeman74
- Start date
PinkPig
Well-known member
Lots of poly people have fwbs. There really are no "generally accepted poly principles." It's as simple as just what works for the people involved! (For me personally that means everyone needs to know about everyone else and happily consents to a poly relationship.)
Has new partner given a reason why they don't want you to continue your relationship with fwb? Do they have a good reason? If the reason is simply just because they think that fwb doesn't count as a poly relationship, that wouldn't fly with me.
Has new partner given a reason why they don't want you to continue your relationship with fwb? Do they have a good reason? If the reason is simply just because they think that fwb doesn't count as a poly relationship, that wouldn't fly with me.
"Allowed"? Who's the boss here? You do what you want. You don't have to be "in love" with every single one of your partners! Good grief. Friendship, fun and respect is good enough.
Your new partner sounds a bit controlling and dogmatic from here. I hope that won't be a pattern.
Your new partner sounds a bit controlling and dogmatic from here. I hope that won't be a pattern.
If your new poly partner doesn't want to be in your poly network because it includes FWB, then maybe that's a compatibility issue.
Because you want to include FWB in yours and for whatever reason, they don't like that.
It's your call who you want to see and include in your network.
Galagirl
Because you want to include FWB in yours and for whatever reason, they don't like that.
It's your call who you want to see and include in your network.
Galagirl
Hello Nikeman74,
There is no rule in poly against continuing to date a FWB, if that's what your poly partner thinks. The other possibility (from where I sit) is that maybe she is having jealousy issues, and maybe she wants you to get rid of the FWB without admitting that she's jealous. In any case, you should explain to her that FWB's are allowed in poly. Heck, to many people, a FWB relationship counts as *part* of the poly!
My vote is that you should keep seeing your FWB.
Regards,
Kevin T.
There is no rule in poly against continuing to date a FWB, if that's what your poly partner thinks. The other possibility (from where I sit) is that maybe she is having jealousy issues, and maybe she wants you to get rid of the FWB without admitting that she's jealous. In any case, you should explain to her that FWB's are allowed in poly. Heck, to many people, a FWB relationship counts as *part* of the poly!
My vote is that you should keep seeing your FWB.
Regards,
Kevin T.