Considering a Poly Relationship

A

akw2796

New member
I'm Alex. I'm 19, and a bit of background: I met a wonderful girl last week (let's call her E), who miraculously likes me back. We are going on a date on Wednesday. She is now in an open relationship with my best friend. I have been in love with my best friend (let's call them S) for a while now, and they have recently admitted that they'd be open to a relationship with me. We've discussed being polyamorous (S, me, and E in a triad), and making it a closed relationship of the three of us, since we're the only people we really want to date.
I guess my main question is, is it weird to start a relationship as poly? And could it even work out, with me being so young and inexperienced? I've never been in a relationship before but I love S very much, and I know E is an amazing girl and I am definitely growing to love her as well. I guess I just have never heard of someone's first relationship being poly, and I'm wondering if I should not go on the date, and let S and E be together, even though I like both of them and they both like me. I've kissed both of them a couple times, and I felt something each time, and I know they both like me as well.
It's also a bit odd for me to have anyone be attracted to me; I always thought I'd be forever alone. But now I have two amazing people who both love me and I really want to be in a relationship with them, but I'm afraid it won't work out because I have no dating experience and I have no idea how to be a good boyfriend to one person, let alone two.
Any advice?
 
I am new to the poly world myself, so I will refrain any specific advice to starting as a closed triad. However, something that stood out to me in your post was the not so subtle insecurities that you have about yourself. If those are not addressed, they can be trouble for any relationship, regardless of type.
 
If they already care for you then I would say you are already doing what you need to do. Just remember to make sure you all communicate how you are doing as you go along. I guarantee you all have emotional and intellectual growth coming and it is a wonderful thing to have close friends to learn and experience with. At 19 the watchwords should be fun and flexibility.

Leetah
 
From a lot of the posts I've read here, it seems like it's far easier to start poly than to move from mono to poly! Go for it.
 
Hi Alex,

I think love is always a risk, there are no guarantees, but if you have something really good you should hang onto it. Go on your date on Wednesday, and if you're worried about how things will go, just take it slow, and learn all you can about polyamory. This forum is a good place to start.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 
My boyfriend has never seriously dated anyone but me. We are a V and not a closed triad but my boys are very close. I think he is really happy to have found someone who genuinely care for him. When I started to date my husband, I was his first serious relationship, too.

People often think they need experience but what is needed is the will to try.
 
I have always ID'd as poly. I met my husband 23+ years ago and he was my first relationship. I never stopped IDing as poly and 19 years later Dude came along. My point? enjoy what you have whenever you find it (and, it is easier to start as you intend to go on!:D)
 
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