do any females here have a high sex drive?
- Thread starter rich09
- Start date
Yeah, I know, but as long as one can.
As women of your age hit perimenopause, quite often their sex drives change as their hormones do. Their libidos can increase or decrease. There are plenty of lusty ladies out there, but you have to attract them. It helps to be fit and well-groomed, charming, interesting and reliable. Having a job and a car are pretty much required too lol
Not to mention emotionally intelligent and context-sensitive
i have most of them lol
Robertitobull
New member
The hard truth about female sexual drive is that it is always going to be much lower than your average male’s, speaking in terms of the desire for sex for the sake of sex, or sexual release. Of course, female sexuality is much more nuanced.
Are there exceptions? Of course. But very few. In fact, 10-15% of women are said to have similar sex drives as men at a certain point. These are the women I have encountered in the swinger lifestyle.
The narrative that "women want sex just as much as men," in my opinion, is harmful for many reasons. It is simply not biologically possible.
Are there exceptions? Of course. But very few. In fact, 10-15% of women are said to have similar sex drives as men at a certain point. These are the women I have encountered in the swinger lifestyle.
The narrative that "women want sex just as much as men," in my opinion, is harmful for many reasons. It is simply not biologically possible.
I recommend the book Come As You Are about female sexuality. It ought to be required reading for anyone who wants sex with a woman. Women DO want sex (some more than others, of course.) But generally, we want it with people we can fully trust (not randos.) We want it when our mind can focus on it, not when there's a ton of housework & screaming kids, or an emotionally absent partner, etc. We want it with someone who actually cares about our pleasure. In contrast, many (not all) men just require a warm body-- any hole's a goal, amiright?
Men don't necessarily have *more* sex drive. But woman's sexuality is different, and different things trigger it. Apples and oranges. Somehow we've decided that if women don't get turned on by the same things that turn men on, women lack libido. Dick pics are a perfect example. Men get turned on by pictures of random female genitals, so they assume females feel the same about disembodied male organs. FYI, generally, we do not. Doesn't mean we don't love dick.
Men don't necessarily have *more* sex drive. But woman's sexuality is different, and different things trigger it. Apples and oranges. Somehow we've decided that if women don't get turned on by the same things that turn men on, women lack libido. Dick pics are a perfect example. Men get turned on by pictures of random female genitals, so they assume females feel the same about disembodied male organs. FYI, generally, we do not. Doesn't mean we don't love dick.
Robertitobull
New member
Excellent read! I’ve read that book and countless others. I’ve spoken to sex therapists. (I dated one for years, as well.)
My argument is that the “complexity” and nuance that is required for women to desire sex (again, for the sake of sex, because sexual connection can have very different goals and triggers) is one of the many indicators of low sex drive in itself in comparison with men. Yes, the stars and planets have to align emotionally, mentally, physically for them to actually want sex. What little raw libido women may have will only be reserved for the best-looking men; that’s why dating apps consistently show only 5% of men matching with 90% of women. And here lies the great discord between the sexes manifesting as a major sexlessness crisis today.
Look at the divorce rate (with one of the biggest culprits being lack of intimacy). Are all divorced men these emotionless a**holes that don’t know how to pleasure women and connect with them? Are all sexless young men today psychopaths? Women can go years celibate without flinching, not because they are these all-wise sages. (None of us are.) It’s because sex is simply not in their physiological requirements. What are the divorce rates of hetero couples vs gay men? The latter are staggeringly lower. And who has the highest divorce rate of all? Lesbian couples. Again, this is very nuanced, but the numbers point towards a noticeable pattern.
This sex therapist seems to have not covered some of the issues you seem confused about. I mean, you sound confident, but you are misinformed, actually.
I don't think every "mid" woman is seeking anything other than a "mid" guy. People generally end up with people within the same range of attractiveness. And there are stats that women seek older men with more money and power, over good-looking fuck bois. But I am not just talking about "sex for the sake of sex," I guess. I'd think men are looking for 9s and 10s too, overall, ideally.
Perhaps you are not aware of the statistic that when a woman goes on a first date with a guy, her biggest fear is that she will be raped or killed. His biggest fear is that the woman will be fat.
This fear of actual bodily harm or death is because men, on average, are stronger than women. Also, testosterone makes men aggressive, and our culture encourages that. This can lead to violence.
I've been sexually assaulted three times. I took one to court. I got genital warts from another. I got PTSD from all three. How many times have you been sexually assaulted (date rape or stranger rape)? Supposedly one in four women have been sexually assaulted, but in my experience, it's more like 100%. My mother was, at knife point. My sister was when she was in college, and had passed out drunk on her bed, woken up to her (formerly trusted) male "friend" having come into her room uninvited after being out partying with her and other friends. He got on top of her and she couldn't fight him off. This resulted in an ectopic pregnancy, which was near fatal.
We don't have a "major sexlessness crisis today." Women are much more sexual now, because of feminism, more rights for women, more social power, better birth control, more sex ed, etc. Basically, they are more empowered, which rapists like men on the far right hate. As we all know, they are attempting to take away women's rights to have control of their own bodies. Hell, they are succeeding (at least for now).
Maybe you mean men are having less sex? So there must be something "wrong" with women these days? Maybe women are less in need of putting up with patriarchal bullshit, like arranged marriages, the former huge stigma of divorce, the legality of married rape and domestic violence, the idea that women's only true role is to breed, etc.?
My ex-husband was perfectly capable of pleasuring me sexually. He was great in bed. We had many other issues that led to our divorce. That's just me, but I am sure I am not alone.
No. But the incel movement is alarming. No comment other than that.
You've never met an ovulating woman? You've never met a woman in perimenopause? You don't know that women masturbate?? It's well known that many women's libidos increase in their 40s. As their estrogen decreases, their testosterone comes forward. It's kind of a meme online. lol Women in their 40s dating guys in their 20s? Never heard of that? Okay.
Women in same-sex marriages are 2-3 times more likely to divorce. Is that "staggering"?
A quick google, and AI says that same-sex marriages are new (and unstudied), but while stats do show that female same-sex marriages end more frequently than those of males, none of the reasons (which are guesses) listed are because of lower libidos.
Robertitobull
New member
It seems a lot of your points of view are shaped by your own horrific experiences. I am truly sorry you and your family had to go through that.This sex therapist seems to have not covered some of the issues you seem confused about. I mean, you sound confident, but you are misinformed, actually.
I don't think every "mid" woman is seeking anything other than a "mid" guy. People generally end up with people within the same range of attractiveness. And there are stats that women seek older men with more money and power, over good-looking fuck bois. But I am not just talking about "sex for the sake of sex," I guess. I'd think men are looking for 9s and 10s too, overall, ideally.
Perhaps you are not aware of the statistic that when a woman goes on a first date with a guy, her biggest fear is that she will be raped or killed. His biggest fear is that the woman will be fat.
This fear of actual bodily harm or death is because men, on average, are stronger than women. Also, testosterone makes men aggressive, and our culture encourages that. This can lead to violence.
I've been sexually assaulted three times. I took one to court. I got genital warts from another. I got PTSD from all three. How many times have you been sexually assaulted (date rape or stranger rape)? Supposedly one in four women have been sexually assaulted, but in my experience, it's more like 100%. My mother was, at knife point. My sister was when she was in college, and had passed out drunk on her bed, woken up to her (formerly trusted) male "friend" having come into her room uninvited after being out partying with her and other friends. He got on top of her and she couldn't fight him off. This resulted in an ectopic pregnancy, which was near fatal.
We don't have a "major sexlessness crisis today." Women are much more sexual now, because of feminism, more rights for women, more social power, better birth control, more sex ed, etc. Basically, they are more empowered, which rapists like men on the far right hate. As we all know, they are attempting to take away women's rights to have control of their own bodies. Hell, they are succeeding (at least for now).
Maybe you mean men are having less sex? So there must be something "wrong" with women these days? Maybe women are less in need of putting up with patriarchal bullshit, like arranged marriages, the former huge stigma of divorce, the legality of married rape and domestic violence, the idea that women's only true role is to breed, etc.?
My ex-husband was perfectly capable of pleasuring me sexually. He was great in bed. We had many other issues that led to our divorce. That's just me, but I am sure I am not alone.
No. But the incel movement is alarming. No comment other than that.
You've never met an ovulating woman? You've never met a woman in perimenopause? You don't know that women masturbate?? It's well known that many women's libidos increase in their 40s. As their estrogen decreases, their testosterone comes forward. It's kind of a meme online. lol Women in their 40s dating guys in their 20s? Never heard of that? Okay.
Women in same-sex marriages are 2-3 times more likely to divorce. Is that "staggering"?
A quick google, and AI says that same-sex marriages are new (and unstudied), but while stats do show that female same-sex marriages end more frequently than those of males, none of the reasons (which are guesses) listed are because of lower libidos.
But isn’t the “all men are potential rapists” viewpoint a little outdated? Especially since women have become even more selective in their dating pool? If women still think this, what does that tell you about men in general vs their ideal sexual partners? Just a thought.
But the numbers don’t lie. That’s the beauty of math.
You are absolutely right. Women are more sexual now with new revolutionary birth control methods, STD treatment prevention and even access to abortion (which is now up for debate if it will remain with the orange Lorax in charge). But they are much more sexual with a very small selected pool of men, usually on the physically attractive side, to the point that there are entire Facebook groups of dozens of women dating ONE guy in a city with millions. That’s real, and tangible.
There are several national surveys that point towards very low sexual spontaneous desire in women, to the tune of 40-60 percent, depending on the literature. One that comes to mind is:
Shifren, J. L., et al. (2008). “Sexual problems and distress in United States women: prevalence and correlates.”
But I think it is problematic to think that low libido in women=women have a problem. I never said or suggested that. I’m just saying it is one of the many differences between cis men and women. And it’s okay to be different. Not everything has to be a competition, like “I can be just as horny as you,” which is clearly not the case and it is absurd to even have conflict over that.
The incel movement is certainly alarming. A lot of young men are my patients and close family friends and I can see the potential radicalization they are exposed to day in and day out on social media.
But I can assure you. The “all men are trash” narrative (unless they’re rich and attractive, of course) does not help the problem.
So not having as much spontaneous desire (the male version of horny) is the same as having a lower sex drive? So if a woman isn't interested in fucking men who aren't particularly attractive, or if she's not down to fuck attractive men who aren't offering a relationship, or if she's not fucking her partner unless conditions are right, she has less sex drive? In other words, spontaneous desire and a willingness to fuck under many circumstances is how we measure a person's sex drive?
Got it.
Bullshit. Men can, and do, go just as long without sex without flinching. Look, I'm a cis-woman, and I promise you I struggle if I go several months without sex. It IS one of my physiological requirements, damn it. But I DO go without for months at a time when single because it just isn't worth it to fuck for the sake of fucking. Men you meet on dating sites or in bars, heck, even men you *think* you know, may be harmful. Plus one-night stands suck and almost never get me off. I personally feel that sex is just better with a partner who knows my body and with whom I feel comfortable communicating. So often even when I *feel* spontaneous desire, for a myriad of reasons, I might not act on it.
ARE YOU SERIOUS??? The U.S. has a PRESIDENT who is a known pedo/rapist. I can't open the news without seeing another instance of "respectable" men raping, drugging, buying women. If anything, the last few years made me more frightened of men, ESPECIALLY men in power! I truthfully had no clue how many men would rape young girls given half a chance. Lately, we're confronted with this horrible reality on a daily basis. No, it isn't outdated. Treating all strange men as potential abusers is just smart. Because if we don't use an abundance of caution, and we get hurt, they'll call us stupid for going back to his place, for accepting that drink, for whatever, whatever.
Being rich and good looking doesn't give men a pass. What a horrible thing to say. I'd argue other men are more likely to overlook predatory behavior in powerful men than women are. It's largely been women speaking out against such men (Weinstein, Epstein, Trump, Cosby), not other men.
OF COURSE women prefer men who are attractive, charming, wealthy--same as men prefer "hot" women. But we also fall in love with who WE find attractive and who makes us feel good.
Women do often fall for "players." You gotta keep in mind how many men, good looking or not, will lie, cheat, or make false promises to get sex.
But when it comes down to it, who gets the most sex? Those hot single guys? Nope! Statistically, it's men who are in relationships. And these men aren't all "chads" in relationships with "sheilas." (Am I getting these terms right?)
My point is, I suspect many horny women seek actual partners that they can trust and build good relationships with, and then fuck them frequently and with enthusiasm.
I don't think the "men need sex more" narrative is truthful. It just gives men an excuse to act horribly. It can also let them avoid their own responsibility for their unfulfilling sex lives. Mismatched libidos exist, sure, but it's wise to examine the "why" before assuming it's just how it goes. There are sometimes fixes for it (meds or hormones you can take, things you can do to "spice things up," build better trust and communication with your partner, etc.).
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It seems you have trouble with reading comprehension. I said I have found 100% of women I have known (and I've lived a pretty long life at this point) have been sexually assaulted. Don't patronize me. Don't think that my female relatives and I are some kind of big exception to the norm.
No, I'd say it's always going to be in the backs of women's minds. I love men. I was actually "boy crazy" in my youth. I am drawn to men sexually. I have met and also dated lovely men, kind, respectful, romantic. My current male partner is way more romantic than me, the big goofball.
He is a gentle giant.Not all men ARE rapists, but women can't walk safely in the street alone at night, just the same. We keep our keys laced between our fingers. We are on the alert. If we are lucky, we have an equally tough girl friend or male friend by our side, equally vigilant. It's just a sad fact of life.
I am not sure what you are asking.
And that's fair. Men AND women are drawn to physically attractive people. It's biological. Our bodies seek healthy partners who would make good breeding stock. *shrug* And again, average-looking women will date and partner up with or marry average-looking men.
But anyone, male, female or other, will get more dates if they take some trouble with their grooming and wardrobe. Women (in general) take lots of trouble with hair, skin, clothing, diet, while it's a "funny" meme what careless slobs men are. We constantly get men here complaining how their newly poly female partners get lots of dates as compared to them, but these guys have not exercised in years, aren't up to date with their fashion. Poly women are attracted to men who take care of themselves. You're going to be less "ugly" if you take a shower, get a haircut, trim your beard, exercise, update some of your clothing with an eye to what flatters your shape and coloring.
Poly women here report that when their bfs or husbands get more in shape, they do get more dates. You act like there's something wrong with enhancing one's attractiveness. Is that what you are thinking?
BTW, exercising increases testosterone. You will get more "Chad-like" if you work out, and increase your sexual prowess too.
What? LOL. I remember in high school a couple guys that would kind of have fan clubs. They had a certain confidence. They were good looking, but there were plenty of good-looking guys who didn't have big fan clubs. However, these popular guys would date one girl at a time.
I guess it could be true that so many women have been sexually assaulted that they prefer to fantasize about a certain guy or two than actually put themselves out there. I find that understandable.
I can see celebrities having fan clubs, but women aren't dating celebrities, they are just fantasizing. When I was in an unhappy marriage, or less than fulfilling, at least, I had a couple celebrity crushes. Now that I am living polyamorously, and have a wonderful gf and wonderful bf, I don't have those consuming crushes anymore.
But dozens of women "dating" one guy sounds kind of... less than healthy? It's hardly the norm. I've never heard of it.
Sometimes we get guys coming here talking about having 6 or 8 gfs, but those men are either very shallow, or lying/trolling. But dozens? How can one guy date dozens, as if he were King Solomon? lol These must be extremely casual relationships, and I'd suspect these guys of having narcissistic tendencies.
I'll look at that.
I admit I have a strong libido, so I am biased. We still have a long way to go to get to where women can fully express their sexualities, especially in more conservative areas.
When I was raising young children, like many women, my libido was low, since I was just fatigued beyond belief. Most women of child-bearing age have long lists in their heads of what needs done to run their households. It's no wonder our bodies shut down out of sheer self-preservation.
Google:
That's gotta have a dampening effect on libido, or "spontaneous sexual desire"!
I'd suggest that many polyamorous women can more fully express their sexualities than many traditional ones. They know they have a right to their pleasure. And even single or mono women now have a plethora of amazing vibrators at the ready, which helps a lot, when partners let them down.
Again, you didn't address my assertion that older women, peri-menopausal or post-menopausal, can compete with 16 year old guys sexually. (I'm not saying to date children, of course.) You just skipped on by that one. Older women are more likely to know and say what they want and need sexually. Older women have more leisure time, as the kids leave the nest. Older women have more money for enjoyable dates and vacations and self care.
But yeah, there's no denying that testosterone stimulates a high sex drive. That is its main purpose. My assertion is that estrogen and testosterone in women also stimulate their libidos, but social factors and outright fear inhibit their libidos. I shouldn't think that would be hard to understand.
The OP's question is, "Do any females here have a high sex drive?" We haven't gotten much response from women. I wonder why. Are their sex drives low, are they afraid to answer, or do they suppress their sex drives?
I remember a study where women were shown "female-friendly" porn, and afterwards were asked whether they had become aroused. Many denied they had been. But there were sensors placed in their vaginas which showed an increase of moisture. They had not let themselves be conscious of their own arousals.
You are a doctor? A psychiatrist? And you ID as a "bull"?
But anyway, these "radical incels" are out there, and yet you deny that women have a reason to believe all men are potential rapists. You seem to be unaware of this disconnect in your thinking.
No one is saying "all men are trash." Sigh... It always has to go to black and white thinking when men don't feel they are being properly agreed with. "Feminists hate men!!!" Bullshit.
Robertito Bull, I know you are new here, and seemingly are a swinger, and now polyamorous. You have posted an ad looking for partners, couples, whatever.
I recommend you spend some time reading around the board, to understand whom you are talking to. Or, as my bf would say, "Read the room, dude."
But welcome to the board! Networking here, being social, thoughtful, respectful, can lead to relationships sometimes.
I recommend you spend some time reading around the board, to understand whom you are talking to. Or, as my bf would say, "Read the room, dude."
But welcome to the board! Networking here, being social, thoughtful, respectful, can lead to relationships sometimes.
Googling "red pill" and "manosphere" results in
The term "red pill" refers to an awakening to a supposedly hidden and unsettling truth about society. While its original meaning comes from the 1999 film The Matrix, it has since been appropriated and popularized by extremist online communities, particularly in the "manosphere".
Origin from The Matrix
In the film, the main character Neo is offered a choice by Morpheus:
In online spaces, the term "taking the red pill" has been adopted by a network of anti-feminist and misogynistic groups, such as men's rights activists (MRAs), pick-up artists (PUAs), and incels. In these communities, "red-pilling" refers to the belief that men are oppressed in modern society and are at the mercy of women and feminists.
Key tenets of this ideology include:
The term "red pill" refers to an awakening to a supposedly hidden and unsettling truth about society. While its original meaning comes from the 1999 film The Matrix, it has since been appropriated and popularized by extremist online communities, particularly in the "manosphere".
Origin from The Matrix
In the film, the main character Neo is offered a choice by Morpheus:
- The red pill: Represents a journey into the painful, raw reality of the world.
- The blue pill: Offers a return to comfortable ignorance and illusion.
In online spaces, the term "taking the red pill" has been adopted by a network of anti-feminist and misogynistic groups, such as men's rights activists (MRAs), pick-up artists (PUAs), and incels. In these communities, "red-pilling" refers to the belief that men are oppressed in modern society and are at the mercy of women and feminists.
Key tenets of this ideology include:
- Gynocentrism: The idea that modern society is structured to favor women over men.
- Misandry: The belief that women and feminists are hostile toward men.
- Evolutionary psychology: Using selective interpretations to claim that men and women have different mating strategies, arguing that women are "hypergamous" and only desire the most attractive and high-status men.
Robertitobull
New member
Forgive me, but I am still reading a lot of “I” or “my experience is this,” which is great. Personal experience can count towards a subject or debate. But I have the data on my side of the argument.It seems you have trouble with reading comprehension. I said I have found 100% of women I have known (and I've lived a pretty long life at this point) have been sexually assaulted. Don't patronize me. Don't think I (and my female relatives) am some kind of big exception to the norm.
No, I'd say it's always going to be in the backs of women's minds. I love men. I was actually "boy crazy" in my youth. I am drawn to men sexually. I have met and also dated lovely men, kind, respectful, romantic. My current male partner is way more romantic than me, the big goofball.
Not all men ARE rapists, but women can't walk safely in the street alone at night, just the same. We keep our keys laced between our fingers. We are on the alert. If we are lucky, we have an equally tough girl friend or male friend by our side, equally vigilant. It's just a sad fact of life.
I am not sure what you are asking.
And that's fair. Men AND women are drawn to physically attractive people. It's biological. Our bodies seek healthy partners who would make good breeding stock. *shrug* And again, average-looking women will date and partner up with or marry average-looking men.
But anyone, male, female or other, will get more dates if they take some trouble with their grooming and wardrobe. Women (in general) take lots of trouble with hair, skin, clothing, diet, while it's a "funny" meme what careless slobs men are. We constantly get men here complaining how their newly poly female partners get lots of dates as compared to them, but these guys have not exercised in years, aren't up to date with their fashion. Poly women are attracted to men who take care of themselves. You're going to be less "ugly" if you take a shower, get a haircut, trim your beard, exercise, update some of your clothing with an eye to what flatters your shape and coloring.
Poly women here report that when their bfs or husbands get more in shape, they do get more dates. You act like there's something wrong with enhancing one's attractiveness. Is that what you are thinking?
What? LOL. I remember in high school a couple guys that would kind of have fan clubs. They had a certain confidence. They were good looking, but there were plenty of good-looking guys who didn't have big fan clubs. However, these popular guys would date one girl at a time.
I guess it could be true that so many women have been sexually assaulted that they prefer to fantasize about a certain guy or two than actually put themselves out there. I find that understandable.
I can see celebrities having fan clubs, but women aren't dating celebrities, they are just fantasizing. When I was in an unhappy marriage, or less than fulfilling, at least, I had a couple celebrity crushes. Now that I am living polyamorously, and have a wonderful gf and wonderful bf, I don't have those consuming crushes anymore.
But dozens of women "dating" one guy sounds kind of... less than healthy? It's hardly the norm. I've never heard of it.
Sometimes we get guys coming here talking about having 6 or 8 gfs, but those men are either very shallow, or lying/trolling. But dozens? How can one guy date dozens, as if he were King Solomon? lol These must be extremely casual relationships, and I'd suspect these guys of having narcissistic tendencies.
I'll look at that.
I admit I have a strong libido, so I am biased. We still have a long way to go to get to where women can fully express their sexualities, especially in more conservative areas.
When I was raising children, like many women, my libido was low, since I was just fatigued beyond belief. Most women of child-bearing age have long lists in their heads of what needs done to run their households. It's no wonder our bodies shut down out of sheer self-preservation.
I'd suggest that many polyamorous women can more fully express their sexualities than many traditional ones. They know they have a right to their pleasure. And even single or mono women now have a plethora of amazing vibrators at the ready, which helps a lot, when partners let them down.
Again, you didn't address my assertion that older women, peri-menopausal or post-menopausal, can compete with 16 year old guys sexually. (I'm not saying to date children, of course.) You just skipped on by that one. Older women are more likely to know and say what they want and need sexually. Older women have more leisure time, as the kids leave the nest. Older women have more money for enjoyable dates and vacations and self care.
But yeah, there's no denying that testosterone stimulates a high sex drive. That is its main purpose. My assertion is that estrogen and testosterone in women also stimulate their libidos, but social factors and outright fear inhibit their libidos. I shouldn't think that would be hard to understand.
The OP's question is, "Do any females here have a high sex drive?" We haven't gotten much response from women. I wonder why. Are their sex drives low, are they afraid to answer, or do they suppress their sex drives?
I remember a study where women were shown "female-friendly" porn, and afterwards were asked whether they had become aroused. Many denied they had been. But there were sensors placed in their vaginas which showed an increase of moisture. They had not let themselves be conscious of their own arousals.
You are a doctor? A psychiatrist? And you ID as a "bull"?
But anyway, these "radical incels" are out there, and yet you deny that women have a reason to believe all men are potential rapists. You seem to be unaware of this disconnect in your thinking.
No one is saying "all men are trash." Sigh... It always has to go to black and white thinking when men don't feel they are being properly agreed with. "Feminists hate men!!!" Bullshit.
I’m aware of the statistics when it comes to sexual assault in the US. I still don’t think it is justified to hold generalizations of sexual violence to ALL men. And I can assure it has not been the expert myself nor the women in my life. Bias much? Maybe. And BTW, I had no intentions of patronizing anyone.
Though most of my experience in the swinger lifestyle has been with mature women (yes, empty nesters that are finally free to have free for alls every weekend), the data on what you claim on sex drive and menopausal/perimenopausal states say otherwise.
A large U.S. study (SWAN – Study of Women’s Health Across the Nation) found that sexual desire generally decreases with age and around menopause, with many women reporting reduced frequency of sexual activity and less interest in sex【SWAN Study, JAMA Internal Medicine, 2017】.
Research from the Women’s Health Initiative also showed that the majority of postmenopausal women report lower sexual desire compared to their premenopausal years【WHI, Obstetrics & Gynecology, 2005】.
I’m also aware of the porn experiments with sensors and functional MRI’s. Though interesting, the sample sizes were too small to come to a clinically significant conclusion.
Let me ask you. What is wrong with identifying as a bull in the lifestyle while being a physician? Let me let you in on a little secret, doctors are humans too, and a lot of us (like a lot of us) are in the lifestyle. GASP!
Some are bulls, cucks, stags, hotwives, cuck queens, pillow princesses, subs, doms. You name it.
Oh, but men’s desire for sex is disgusting and predatory all the time, right? Especially us older men who happen to be professionals whose desires are gross and are only meant to be locked away and never resurfaced. Amaright??
I'm sorry people have told you that your desire for sex is disgusting, gross and predatory.
Okay, now that I am sufficiently caffeinated, I will respond in more detail.
You mean it has not been the "experience of" (not expert) of yours, and the women in your life that ALL men have committed sexual assault. Please reread my post. I am not talking about "all men." You are. I am talking about women. Can you not see that? Apparently not. All men do not have to have actually committed crimes against women's bodies for all women to have experienced it. One man can assault dozens of women (or children, for that matter, sadly).
Yes, I am talking about the women I have known intimately enough to have discussed this topic with me. Sure, it's probably true that less than 100% of women have experienced some kind of sexual assault. Enough have to have it be a topic of universal concern, though. There are different kinds of sexual abuse, including the trafficking of underage girls, as LoveBunny mentioned. There is the illegal taking of child brides in US polygynist cults, and legally in other countries. There's incest, etc., etc. There's no need to go on and on about this obvious problem.
Again, as a doctor (allegedly) I hope you've got enough reading comprehension and discernment to understand that I am not talking broadly about "all men." The topic of this thread is women.
I did look into this more, and it seems that the stats say 75% of women lose some sex drive after menopause. And 25% of men lose some sex drive after andropause. So there is a large disconnect. You are correct. Both genders can improve their sex drives with medical intervention. I am sure you know what things can cause lack of libido, being a medical man (allegedly).
"AI Overview
A decrease in libido in older adults, men and women, is a common experience caused by hormonal changes, such as declining testosterone in men and estrogen in women, alongside various psychological and physical factors. Other causes include stress, fatigue, chronic illnesses like diabetes and heart disease, certain medications, and relationship issues. Addressing these causes through lifestyle changes, managing underlying health conditions, and open communication can help improve sex drive."
Since you feel I am using "I statements" too much, perhaps you aren't willing to share what brought you to swinging as a lifestyle. It sounds like you're frustrated. Maybe you used to be a popular "bull" for swinger couples at your parties, but now that you're older you aren't as much sought after, and you've put a toe in the incel waters... (Just a guess, but you do seem to favor some of the rhetoric.)
Of course, women's health needs "aren't as important" so don't get funded enough to be properly studied, as compared to men's issues.
Okay. So what brings you to polyamory.com? Just fishing for sex? Polyamory means "multiple loves." Are you loved?
Again, getting back to women's libidos, my bias is showing. I've been on this board since 2009 or '10. We see women complaining about their male partners' lack of interest in sex about as much as men complaining about their female partners' lack of interest. We also see a fair amount of input from members of the LGBTQIA community on this topic. (We have a lot of queers here: gay, bi, pansexual, transgender, non-binary and asexual, so we're not solely in the MF cis-hetero camp, as far as our data.) I'd say "relationship issues" factor into problems with sex drives here quite a bit, since many posters here are coming to the realization they are polyamorous, not monoamorous, and this upsets the apple carts of their mono relationships, which can, of course, lead to mismatched interests in sex.
Sigh... You sound so angry.