IndieSolo
Active member
You mentioned that you have only been seeing Finch for four months. So, you two are still in the very beginning stages of getting to know each other. And you started this thread saying that you felt flattered and excited that Finch asked you to attend a convention with him, but knowing that he also intends to meet up with Hawk had you worried and wondering if something about them being there together would trigger you and prompt you to leave the event.
I was surprised by your later post stating that Finch is your sub, but I guess that dynamic is "in the bedroom" only? Because it seems like he is calling the shots, very much in charge, and just doing whatever he wants to do. And there's nothing wrong with that, if your D/s dynamic does not apply outside of the BR or a scene. But your initial post painted a picture of yourself as uncertain and somewhat insecure about being there and you were questioning whether he really wants you there or not.
To me, that sounds like you don't yet have a good handle on what the relationship is between you, which is perfectly understandable at this early stage. However, your doubts and feelings of disappointment seem to me to also suggest that you were either hoping things are further along or different than they actually are, or you are confused about some aspects of the relationship. Or maybe that you don't feel you can fully be yourself in the relationship?
By the way, is the convention a kink-oriented event or something else?
Anyway, if I were you and feeling this level of worry and insecurity around such a new relationship, I would probably pull back, slow down, and find ways to ground myself and get out of my head. I hope you don't mind my saying this, but you first came across as a little bit lost in trying to figure it out. In your later comments you sounded more accepting, yet still rather resigned. It all sounds a bit too complicated for this early on in a relationship, so my advice is to slow your roll and be kind to yourself. Imagining myself in your shoes, I'd probably decline to go to the convention and hopefully give myself the time and space to clear my head, to connect with and be around the people and things in my life where I feel the most secure. And I'd likely not see Finch, or see him less often, until I felt more grounded and sure of myself.
In the end, it doesn't matter whether you attend this thing or not, and it doesn't matter how much Finch wants you there or not. What matters most is your well-being, your relationship with yourself, and that you trust yourself to make the right choices when it comes to taking care of YOU and finding the best, most authentic expression of who you are in the world.
I was surprised by your later post stating that Finch is your sub, but I guess that dynamic is "in the bedroom" only? Because it seems like he is calling the shots, very much in charge, and just doing whatever he wants to do. And there's nothing wrong with that, if your D/s dynamic does not apply outside of the BR or a scene. But your initial post painted a picture of yourself as uncertain and somewhat insecure about being there and you were questioning whether he really wants you there or not.
To me, that sounds like you don't yet have a good handle on what the relationship is between you, which is perfectly understandable at this early stage. However, your doubts and feelings of disappointment seem to me to also suggest that you were either hoping things are further along or different than they actually are, or you are confused about some aspects of the relationship. Or maybe that you don't feel you can fully be yourself in the relationship?
By the way, is the convention a kink-oriented event or something else?
Anyway, if I were you and feeling this level of worry and insecurity around such a new relationship, I would probably pull back, slow down, and find ways to ground myself and get out of my head. I hope you don't mind my saying this, but you first came across as a little bit lost in trying to figure it out. In your later comments you sounded more accepting, yet still rather resigned. It all sounds a bit too complicated for this early on in a relationship, so my advice is to slow your roll and be kind to yourself. Imagining myself in your shoes, I'd probably decline to go to the convention and hopefully give myself the time and space to clear my head, to connect with and be around the people and things in my life where I feel the most secure. And I'd likely not see Finch, or see him less often, until I felt more grounded and sure of myself.
In the end, it doesn't matter whether you attend this thing or not, and it doesn't matter how much Finch wants you there or not. What matters most is your well-being, your relationship with yourself, and that you trust yourself to make the right choices when it comes to taking care of YOU and finding the best, most authentic expression of who you are in the world.
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