Ever encountered an MMW V?

monkeystyle

monkeystyle

Member
I've been in the poly online world for quite a long time now, and have read/seen/heard/experienced a great deal. But one curiosity that I just thought of is that I've never encountered IRL (or online) an M-M-W V relationship. It seems to be the rarest of all types, from what I can tell. So I was curious if anyone else had?

Aside from that it'd be interesting to see a demographic of relationship types out there. While it's easy to guess what types would predominate, I'd bet there'd be some surprises in the numbers as well. Just idle thoughts in the middle of the day really, but I'd bet some researcher out there will do a poll eventually. :)
 
I have a male friend who has a boyfriend and a girlfriend (and has been with both for a long time), and my partner Hank has also dated a man who was dating a woman at the same time. So they are out there. :) But I think you're right that these types of V relationships are probably the rarest ones.
 
The ones Mya described are the only ones I can think of right off hand. My V is an MFM ... not quite the same thing I take it.

I'm sure they'll do research on it eventually ... probably not for awhile though, is my guess.

So question, about MFM V's and FMF V's: Which is more common? I'm thinking MFM but I could be wrong. Not quite on-topic I realize, but.
 
kdt26417 said:
The ones Mya described are the only ones I can think of right off hand. My V is an MFM ... not quite the same thing I take it.

I'm sure they'll do research on it eventually ... probably not for awhile though, is my guess.

So question, about MFM V's and FMF V's: Which is more common? I'm thinking MFM but I could be wrong. Not quite on-topic I realize, but.
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I sincerely hope that research occurs sometime, the statistics freak in me does at least.

That's a good question on prevalence between MFM and FMF. I think it could go either way, but at least online I think FMF gets more noise. I have a theory about why, but it's probably better discussed in another topic.
 
Mya said:
I have a male friend who has a boyfriend and a girlfriend (and has been with both for a long time), and my partner Hank has also dated a man who was dating a woman at the same time. So they are out there. :) But I think you're right that these types of V relationships are probably the rarest ones.
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Thank you Mya! Now I know of at least one! :)
 
Mine was about twenty years ago, but I am a female and lived with my bisexual boyfriend, Matt, who dated a gay guy named Tai who was my friend and coworker. Tai and I never interacted sexually, though we were good friends. I noticed the attraction between them and I "gave" him Matt one year as a birthday present :) and it stuck! It lasted just under a year, then Thai moved on to a mono relationship, and Matt and I broke up a few months after for our own reasons.
 
Okay, another off-topic question ... :)

Are triads more common than V's? I think V's are more common but I wonder what you guys think.

It would certainly be interesting if someone did some research on this sort of thing.
 
kdt26417 said:
Okay, another off-topic question ... :)

Are triads more common than V's? I think V's are more common but I wonder what you guys think.

It would certainly be interesting if someone did some research on this sort of thing.
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I think V's are more common, but I think a lot of people describe their configuration as a triad when it's probably really a V.
 
I've never encountered a MMF V.

kdt26417 said:
So question, about MFM V's and FMF V's: Which is more common? I'm thinking MFM but I could be wrong. Not quite on-topic I realize, but.
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I think stereotype would have us believe that FMF vs are more common... and at the few poly events I've been to, that does seem to be the case. However, online, it seems like MFM is more common.

I'm in a FMF v and have been in a FMF triad. Which, speaking on triads, my anecdotal experience and gut both say that the relationships will never be equal... there will always be a couple or couples who connect more than another (though that could change over time.) Definitely was true in our case. Snow (f) & I (f) were close...but Blue (m) was closer to each of us than we were to one another. Ironically, it's Snow & I who still have a long-distance friendship. Maybe because our relationship started as friendship, the transition back was easier, idk?

What about MMM and FFF? My guess is that MMM would be more common than FFF or MMF.
 
Or do MMM/FFF V's tend to evolve into MMM/FFF triads? I've heard of MMM triads, and possibly FFF triads. Not so sure if I've ever heard of an MMM V. Would an FFF V be more likely than an MMM V? Maybe ...
 
My first poly experience was a MMW v in college. My boyfriend lived with his partner and I spent weekends there. We are all still close. The v disintegrated after college when we chose various life paths. Marc the hinge is now in another MMW v where he, his wife, and boyfriend Co parent. Pretty much every configuration exists happily somewhere.
 
I have my own theories about the predominance of certain configurations in certain forums. For instance, I think that bisexuality in males is less socially acceptable than bisexuality in females.

I personally find that I tend to remember the people who are in situations similar to my own - a MFM vee (with me as the hinge). But, I could very easily see myself in a MFF vee as well (again, with me as the hinge) or a MFF vee/FMF vee with me as an arm.

Although I am involved in overlapping relationships that others may consider "triad" configurations - I still tend to think of them in terms of overlapping Vees (in that my partners in one relationship are my metamours in another). But that is just a perspective. Because we are also all just in overlapping dyads, and when it comes right down to it we are all just individuals relating to people in whatever ways we do.
 
I've never seen it. The bi guys I know only have casual sex with other men and aren't in romantic with them.

Everyone that I ever knew in a triad have since broken up. I find v relationships ti be more common
 
I agree that v configurations seem more stable. Lady and real and I flirt with a triad style but overall being more vee ish seems to be our more stable default.
 
I believe Redpepper's husband Polynerdist was involved with a guy for a while, a few years ago, though I don't recall if she was involved with PN's bf or not. So, that was a MMF situation. Of course, RP had her lovers at the time, as well, which reminds us that a person can be in more than one configuration at a time - in a vee with one partner, a triad with another, a dyad with someone else, and so on.

There have been a few people who have come here and posted about being in MMF arrangements, but those folks don't seem to have become forum regulars. I think it is more common for bisexual poly men to be part of a larger poly tangle than a vee or triad.
 
For a few months, before I broke up with him, my ex bf was involved with me, FWBs with my gf, and got involved with a married MF couple. He was having one on one sex with the man and threesomes with both (since the man was jealous and didn't want his wife to have one on one sex with my bf :rolleyes: ).


So what would you call that configuration? One FMF V and also a MMF triad. Well, plus my gf had her own bf as well.

I am not sure of your agenda in asking, monkeystyle. You think FMF Vs/triads are the most common? I'd say MFM Vs are the most common, followed by FFM Vs. Working triads are rare and tend to be short-lived.

I'd say FMF triads mostly exist in fantasy, and porn. Oh, and in the Bible, you have polygamy. But even in the Bible, you can see the jealousy between Leah and Rachel, for example, trying to share Jacob.
 
Magdlyn said:
I am not sure of your agenda in asking, monkeystyle. You think FMF Vs/triads are the most common? I'd say MFM Vs are the most common, followed by FFM Vs. Working triads are rare and tend to be short-lived.

I'd say FMF triads mostly exist in fantasy, and porn. Oh, and in the Bible, you have polygamy. But even in the Bible, you can see the jealousy between Leah and Rachel, for example, trying to share Jacob.
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I don't think being curious requires an agenda, as I said I was in my original post.

I didn't say whether I thought either FMF or MFM were the most common, hence the speculation in the first place.
 
It's an interesting topic ...
 
Speaking of interesting topics - there was a thread, awhile back, where a number of people uploaded diagrams that illustrated the poly tangles/configurations they were in. You know, with dots representing the people, using different colors, and then solid or dotted lines connecting whomever was involved with whom... it was funny. There were W's, N's, Z's, Double W's with auxiliary wings hanging off of them, some of them were quite complex... and confusing! I seem to recall JaneQ's as looking like a complicated roadmap. Hahahaha, I wish I could find the link.
 
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nycindie said:
Speaking of interesting topics - there was a thread, awhile back, where a number of people uploaded diagrams that illustrated the poly tangles/configurations they were in. You know, with dots representing the people, using different colors, and then solid or dotted lines connecting whomever was involved with whom... it was funny. There were W's, N's, Z's, Double W's with auxiliary wings hanging off of them, some of them were quite complex... and confusing! I seem to recall JaneQ's as looking like a complicated roadmap. Hahahaha, I wish I could find the link.
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Found it for you!: http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=65764&highlight=config

My "roadmap" diagram is in post #25 - must have had some time on my hands that day, eh? :D

JaneQ

PS. Expanding on the idea, I actually made a MORE complex one:
picture.php

PPS. Which is still not "complete" as I have acquired another...hmmm, "platonic GF" that has her own little network...Ain't love GRAND!?!
 
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