My husband and I opened our relationship a long time ago, at the beginning of our relationship. Unfortunately we started on bad terms.
Our relationship was going south and he offered this up as a solution. I agreed because at the time, I'd do anything to work on our relationship. The problem was, I've always been strictly monogamous. So when we decided to do this, I felt like I kind of lost a bit of myself in the process.
And of course jealousy was a big part. He got happier but he didn't want to work on any of the issues I was having so things only got worse. The woman he started seeing kept asking him to leave me for her, and over time it got so bad, he almost agreed. And then I got pregnant. I guess he "came to his senses" and he stopped seeing her and agreed to close our relationship, he agreed it was the best for our child.
Fast forward to when our son was born, he and I both fell into a depression, his was due to work, mine was postpartum. Unfortunately he left me to deal with it alone, and the baby. I grew so tired and lonely that after 2 years, I agreed to open our relationship up once more.
This time around it was much better, we were very open and honest, and understand on both sides. But then, very recently, he met a woman, and got very attached, very quickly. I discussed with him how it made me feel uneasy, especially when he choose to spend time with her over me and his son, often.
I started getting the feelings I was before, when we first started this journey. And no matter what I asked him to do, whether it was spend a little extra time with us or to be home when I need him, he fought with me, tooth and nail. So finally I asked him what he wanted and he told me he wants something permanent with her like he has with me.
And tbh I'm not even close to being ready for something like that. But he told me that's the only way he'll be happy.
So for the sake of our son and love for my husband, do I just let him have what he wants and try to find a way to live with it? And how much of myself do I have to lose just to be happy with him?
And if I choose to be ok with this, how do I get him to understand that our son and I come first and are important too?
Our relationship was going south and he offered this up as a solution. I agreed because at the time, I'd do anything to work on our relationship. The problem was, I've always been strictly monogamous. So when we decided to do this, I felt like I kind of lost a bit of myself in the process.
And of course jealousy was a big part. He got happier but he didn't want to work on any of the issues I was having so things only got worse. The woman he started seeing kept asking him to leave me for her, and over time it got so bad, he almost agreed. And then I got pregnant. I guess he "came to his senses" and he stopped seeing her and agreed to close our relationship, he agreed it was the best for our child.
Fast forward to when our son was born, he and I both fell into a depression, his was due to work, mine was postpartum. Unfortunately he left me to deal with it alone, and the baby. I grew so tired and lonely that after 2 years, I agreed to open our relationship up once more.
This time around it was much better, we were very open and honest, and understand on both sides. But then, very recently, he met a woman, and got very attached, very quickly. I discussed with him how it made me feel uneasy, especially when he choose to spend time with her over me and his son, often.
I started getting the feelings I was before, when we first started this journey. And no matter what I asked him to do, whether it was spend a little extra time with us or to be home when I need him, he fought with me, tooth and nail. So finally I asked him what he wanted and he told me he wants something permanent with her like he has with me.
And tbh I'm not even close to being ready for something like that. But he told me that's the only way he'll be happy.
So for the sake of our son and love for my husband, do I just let him have what he wants and try to find a way to live with it? And how much of myself do I have to lose just to be happy with him?
And if I choose to be ok with this, how do I get him to understand that our son and I come first and are important too?
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