Ravenscroft
Banned
I've not been active here for long, & only sporadically lurked before that, so now I get curious.
About eight years ago, on another forum site, a new guy joined up. He was new to the lifestyle (BDSM Lite, basically), asked a whole bunch of intelligent questions, & came across as very intelligent & well-spoken.
Within a few weeks, he admitted to being quite anxious, because while he was enjoying getting to know us & discovering things that interested him, he admitted to having been dragged (all but literally) into leather by his wife. While his acquiesence mollified her at first, she had begiun ramping up demands, & he felt exhausted by the pressure.
It soon turned into an amazing tale of grief & woe, with one thing after another going wrong for the poor guy. Sometimes he'd get snappish at our recommendations, though always apologizing profusely, but even when he welcomed our input point-by-point, he never seemed to make any actual progress, & often backslid & undermined what little he said he'd accomplished.
This went on for a few months... then an established member, who normally didn't post much, said the poster was an utter fabrication, launched by a self-styled budding novelist, who was ridiculing us in her blog.
Now, I am by nature a somewhat cynical & pessimistic person, but I figured that if ONE troubled lurker read our advice & found some valuable tiny nuggets, then maybe the fraud had paid its own way. Other than the derision -- which, really, seems inevitable on the internet in the best of situations -- there wasn't much for harm.
For what it's worth, the poster immediately ceased visiting.
But sometimes the stories begin to look kinda familiar...

About eight years ago, on another forum site, a new guy joined up. He was new to the lifestyle (BDSM Lite, basically), asked a whole bunch of intelligent questions, & came across as very intelligent & well-spoken.
Within a few weeks, he admitted to being quite anxious, because while he was enjoying getting to know us & discovering things that interested him, he admitted to having been dragged (all but literally) into leather by his wife. While his acquiesence mollified her at first, she had begiun ramping up demands, & he felt exhausted by the pressure.
It soon turned into an amazing tale of grief & woe, with one thing after another going wrong for the poor guy. Sometimes he'd get snappish at our recommendations, though always apologizing profusely, but even when he welcomed our input point-by-point, he never seemed to make any actual progress, & often backslid & undermined what little he said he'd accomplished.
This went on for a few months... then an established member, who normally didn't post much, said the poster was an utter fabrication, launched by a self-styled budding novelist, who was ridiculing us in her blog.
Now, I am by nature a somewhat cynical & pessimistic person, but I figured that if ONE troubled lurker read our advice & found some valuable tiny nuggets, then maybe the fraud had paid its own way. Other than the derision -- which, really, seems inevitable on the internet in the best of situations -- there wasn't much for harm.
For what it's worth, the poster immediately ceased visiting.
But sometimes the stories begin to look kinda familiar...