First Poly V Holiday

zigzag

zigzag

New member
In a couple of weeks we are going on our first 5 day holiday that is me, my wife (Angel) her OSO (Wolf) and his dog!

We have/they have stayed over at each others houses and spent weekends together but that is usually just one night and occasionally two but is typically twice a week.

This will be an all new experience.

The holiday home only has single beds so that will remove any slight concern about who is actually sleeping with whom in which bed each night (I do mean sleeping and not a euphemism). I expect we will share Angel equally over the holiday in terms of sex plus some threesome sessions as we do now. However, as I am with Angel 5 nights or so a week normally whenever we are both with Wolf I defer (out of a sense of fairness) to him if he and Angel want make love in private or sleep together so if we visit his house or he comes to ours usually him and Angel spend the night together. So on holiday that will be a change as I will expect some time with Angel too.

I am not particularly worried but wondered if anyone with more experience has any advice.
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Dramatis Personae

Me, M, 54 and married to Angel my girlfriend since school
Angel, F, 53, my wife and BFF
Wolf, 55, Angel's lover and my very good friend.
 
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Well, as long as you have a good flow of communication and are flexible, things will be fine. I believe you're experiencing the jitters simply because this is a new experience. I'm sure you'll learn a little, make a few mistakes, and mostly have a good time together.
 
I went away for a long weekend once with 2 of my lovers, my long term gf miss pixi, and a guy I was seeing.

Not sure what bearing my experience has on yours. Are you concerned about
both you and Wolf getting equal time with Angel? I'd say, play it as it happens. On my weekend we mostly hung out together, but there was a time or 2 (a couple hours here or there), where 2 people would split off for an activity because the third preferred to rest, or talk to other friends (we were at a kink conference and we all knew others there).

As for sex, we weren't into threesomes, but I did have sex once with Guy while miss pixi played on her laptop on a couch across the room. There was a time she and I had a private quickie in the bathroom. There was a time when we woke in the king size bed (I slept in the middle), and I got miss pixi off (as Guy was asleep, then waking up), then rolled over and did the same to Guy. It all just kind of flowed.

miss pixi and Guy weren't close friends, but you and Wolf are, so there might also be some time where you 2 guys just hang out for a bit while Angel does something else.
 
Ok, here goes. We go away tomorrow for 5 days to a holiday cottage on the coast in an adjacent country. Its quite clear that Angel is looking forward to a *lot* of intimate time with Wolf, but being the lovely considerate person she is, is also quite aware of the dynamics and needs. We are all saying we will be cool and take things as they happen.

Angel is very very excited about her first poly holiday and about being with Wolf for a longer period. I am pretty sure I am cool about it but I really do not want to F*** it up for them so I really know I have to be on my best behaviour with regards to jealousy or anxiety. I honestly want then to have a great time. Regular overnights and the odd weekend have been fine but this is undoubtedly the next level.

Wish me luck!
 
Best wishes to you three. (Tell us how it goes!)
 
Well back home and it went far better than I could have hoped for. You discover in this world of Polyamory that you have to be flexible. We have booked a cottage/condo at a beach resort for 3 people and it had two bedrooms and we assumed it would have two twin rooms, but it actually had one double and one single. It would not have been fair for anyone to have the single so we decided not to have rooms allocated so they were just called "The Double" and "The Single" and we simply shared them and used them as we wanted and agreed that Angel would always sleep in the Double with one of us on alternate night. With some bed sharing.

The first night I was in the single and was the hardest for me to manage as I was still a bit nervous that I would struggle, and really did not want to spoil anyones holiday by being jealous. But despite being a bit anxious I managed fine ( remembering that I am sharing my partner of over 30 years). It may have been a bit easier if the walls had been thicker!!

All the other stuff, cleaning, cooking, paying, bathroom sharing, and daytime activities went really well. Having been on holiday with friends before this actually went better as I think as it was not just friends but lovers everyone was more considerate.

The only worry is after 5 days of Angel and Wolf being together, and definitely opening up to each other more, and crossing a few physical and emotional bridges, I have on the 1st day back been having a few doubts and a bit of insecurity that I am doing the right thing.
 
Happy for you all that your holiday went so smoothly! It is a brave step to take this early in your poly adventures, but you seem like a brave guy :cool:

The only worry is after 5 days of Angel and Wolf being together, and definitely opening up to each other more, and crossing a few physical and emotional bridges, I have on the 1st day back been having a few doubts and a bit of insecurity that I am doing the right thing.
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Would you like to tell more about your insecurities? Why would you not be doing the right thing? All I read here from your posts is that you are allowing more love and more goodness to your world, and everyone involved seems to benefit from it. Even yourself: your posts here suggests lot of internal growth in you. That is gotta be a benefit!
 
Nadya said:
Would you like to tell more about your insecurities?
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I have refused to set boundaries or make rules or constrain Angel in anyway. She has done most if not all of our special things (mainly things we have learned together over the years) with Wolf.

So I do get a few wobbles about sex with Angel still being special for me/us and still being as thrilling for her.
 
Does Angel say that sex with you is still as special and thrilling as ever? Have you talked to her about your doubts on the matter?
 
zigzag said:
I have refused to set boundaries or make rules or constrain Angel in anyway. She has done most if not all of our special things (mainly things we have learned together over the years) with Wolf.

So I do get a few wobbles about sex with Angel still being special for me/us and still being as thrilling for her.
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My experience has been that having sex with a new partner does not take anything away from the sex with the pre-existing partner(s). Doing specific "things" in bed with one or the other of my partners - it is different, even though the "moves" would be the same.

Also, I'd say that refusing to make rules is good. She is free to build her relationship with Wolf the way they want to, without your interference.

Maybe you just got too much information about their sex life during your holiday, due to the thin walls? TMI can be a source of unnecessary anxieties.

Hang in there!
 
kdt26417 said:
Does Angel say that sex with you is still as special and thrilling as ever? Have you talked to her about your doubts on the matter?
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Yes all the time, and she has been brilliant. Supportive and caring which is why her nickname is Angel! Even so now and again you get little niggles.

I would not say I was 99% happy with her being polyamorous but rather I am 100% happy with it, just for 99% of the time.
 
Nadya said:
Maybe you just got too much information about their sex life during your holiday, due to the thin walls? TMI can be a source of unnecessary anxieties.

Hang in there!
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Thanks, and yes possibly, hearing is not always the greatest thing! This is strange as I have seen then making love more than once and that is not a problem, but hearing the sounds without the "pictures" can make your imagination go into overdrive.
 
Well if it isn't a huge problem, and you're communicating with her about it, I wouldn't be too worried. Every relationship has a little niggle now and then. :)
 
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