Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love


I’m exhausted right now. I had a busy day at the Box, and DarkKnight worked from home. He had a fever last night and the thought that it might be Covid had me in tears. He went to get tested for it this morning though, and thankfully he received the negative results this evening. He’s still going to be home the rest of the week, I think. He’s not feeling well, so he can run his office from here without infecting anyone else.

I know exactly what you mean by the scare having you in tears - I wrote about a similar thing a month or so ago but it totally had me sobbing. I'm glad he's ok.


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I know exactly what you mean by the scare having you in tears - I wrote about a similar thing a month or so ago but it totally had me sobbing. I'm glad he's ok.
Yeah, I started freaking out - was I seriously going to lose two husbands within 6 months of each other? We haven't been able to have our State of the Union this year yet - how long would it take for me to unearth his life insurance paperwork (he has 3 policies)? Would I be able to stay in this house or would I be an emotional wreck? If I left, how would moving effect all of my kitties? Would MisterMoonbeam feel obligated to marry me? I wouldn't have health insurance anymore! Maybe I should break up with him now, so he doesn't feel an obligation. I want my partners to love me and be with me out of joy, not out of my lack of health insurance because my husband passed away. What if DarkKnight survived but with serious health complications? What changes would we need to make to the house? I need to make a list soon...

I was a mess. That said, I had been having serious insomnia for the last couple of weeks, but the last few days I fell asleep easily and was out like a light. Last night was fine, in spite of my anxiety. Honestly, I hadn't had anxiety like that in a while. I kept trying to shut it down, but the thought of losing him to this had me very upset. Stupid Corona virus!


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Well I just wrote some stuff and it deleted. I don’t really like the new format here, but no one asked for my opinion! All of my photos have disappeared and I have a bunch of broken links in my journal now. Lovely. Would have been nice to have received a message that I needed to back up my album.

Okay, that’s the end of my vent about that.

DarkKnight is still feeling poorly. I spent the night with MisterMoonbeam because I don’t wanna get sick, but also because he didn’t need me keeping him awake. That said, for the last few days my insomnia seems to be gone - I’ve fallen asleep at midnight or earlier, and stayed asleep. Yay!

I am planning my day and it’s all ugh. Even though I am sleeping through the night, I still feel tired when I look at my to do list. I am only open today and tomorrow, and then my Blessing Box will be closed for 10 days. So, I am rushing to get things completed.

I have a ton of boys’ clothing to photograph and post this morning, and I have a volunteer coming this afternoon to sort the girls’ stuff for me. I am pushing out as much of the extra items I have in storage because after Thursday I will be emptying my overflow room completely so the new floor can be installed.

I already had a breakfast shake, and I am about to go spend 30 minutes with the foster kittens before showering. After that I will be in the zone with the Box and focused on getting that started up today. I need to do laundry too this morning. Our cleaning person is coming today - I need to get her list together. With two guys working from home she’s going to have to tell them to relocate in order to clean their spaces. Lol

I seriously have 15+ bags of clothing to move out today. The boys’ stuff is all sorted (that was yesterday) and I have 9 additional bags that have already been claimed and their new owners are coming to pick up this afternoon. Guess I better get my butt off the couch and into the kitten room so I don’t fall behind!


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Well I just wrote some stuff and it deleted. I don’t really like the new format here, but no one asked for my opinion! All of my photos have disappeared and I have a bunch of broken links in my journal now. Lovely. Would have been nice to have received a message that I needed to back up my album.
Sorry about your photo's.
I find the new layout and its functions not-so-different from the old one, so I'll get used to it. Although it doesn't look modern by any means, so I wonder what's the point of transferring something that looks (and probably is) 15 years out of date (which I didn't mind) into something that looks 8 years out of date :D


I'm not sure anyone's really writing "modern" forums of this type - they've sort of become passé as a concept. This is at least easy to read on my phone.


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The important thing is, it still loads fast ... I use this site as a test whether my connection is ok when facebook gets stuck ;)
Interesting thing happened today! MisterMoonbeam was taking a break from work, and we got crazy frisky on the couch. He was fully clothed but my skirt was rucked up all the way, my boobs were popped out of my bra and my shirt was nowhere in the equation. And...DarkKnight came home.

Never ever, ever has DarkKnight walked in on, or interrupted a sexy situation between myself and another partner. MisterMoonbeam extracted himself from where he was - stretched out on top of me, having just been finger blasting me - and stood up, straightened his own clothes and greeted DarkKnight at the door. He was totally cool and collected.

I was the opposite of that! Having just had a series of orgasms, I was breathless and of course, looking a mess. I apologized profusely and pulled my skirt down and sat up. DarkKnight was laughing! He seemed more bemused than anything. I was concerned he might be upset, but instead he seemed like he was just given a present. He enjoyed seeing me in that position, and wasn’t unhappy at all.

Thank goodness!

Both guys seemed to be completely comfortable and I am really glad of that.This was a mistake on my part by not keeping better track of time though - I will definitely be having separate conversations with my guys about this! Still, I am very happy how the situation turned out.

Hi Bluebird! I've been reading your blog for the entire 7 years you've been posting. I post very little overall, and haven't replied to anything you've posted in at least 3-4 years - but this one made me chuckle and marvel!

How on Earth is this the first time that's happened?! I'm so glad that your guys were happy and amused! But in all the time I've been reading your blog I guess I've always wondered if the desire/temptation/opportunity ever arose to enjoy both of your guys at the same time, and would you want to? When you shared one house with DK, PR and....gosh I can't remember the short term boyfriend's name who moved in for a bit- but I recall wondering if that ever entered anyone's mind to the point of an actual discussion about it.

In our situation we do that occasionally, and it works nicely as a very sensual and erotic form of bonding and intimacy. And watching our lady massively enjoy herself is particularly awesome to both of us guys. It's more the exception than the norm, however (maybe once a month). And I certainly understand that not everyone is bent the same way.

Before I climb back up the tree to quietly read your blog for another stretch: I want to say thanks for continuing all these years to take the time to write about the important things in your life - and just as much the trivial and silly stuff. I doubt you'd ever look at it like I do (quite sure actually) but I think your blog is a gift for others to visualize a strong and successful poly woman managing her world as best she can. I both respect and admire how you've shared so much of yourself in a way that's accessible to pretty much everyone. Peace and love to you and yours.


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DarkKnight has always had one rule in the household - he doesn’t want to see someone else’s dingus. So, dudes I date need to know up front that is a boundary. It’s one I respect and I have never crossed. I will walk around topless, flash my tits, get handsy with my partners, but I don’t let things get past a certain point.

To be honest, I have never had group sex with anyone I have ever dated, or been married to. I’ve had threesomes and moresomes, but that was 7 years ago at play parties, and it was strangers & guys I had talked to on Fet. I had a blast, and I don’t regret it, but to me it’s not something that I feel is necessary in my life. DarkKnight has told me that he’s uncomfortable with the idea, and I have zero wish to push that when it isn’t important to me at all.

That said, I have thought about it with specific guys I have been with, just not involving DarkKnight. I am 100% certain that MisterMoonbeam would be up for group activities with others. At the moment, I don’t feel like I am in the right headspace though. I also think that with Corona being an issue, it’s not something I wanna even consider anyway due to putting others at risk.


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Before I climb back up the tree to quietly read your blog for another stretch: I want to say thanks for continuing all these years to take the time to write about the important things in your life - and just as much the trivial and silly stuff. I doubt you'd ever look at it like I do (quite sure actually) but I think your blog is a gift for others to visualize a strong and successful poly woman managing her world as best she can. I both respect and admire how you've shared so much of yourself in a way that's accessible to pretty much everyone. Peace and love to you and yours.

Thank you! I appreciate the feedback. Sometimes I wonder if anyone ever has read this entire monstrosity, and if so, what they think. I’m just doing the best I can with what I’ve got, and my life certainly isn’t the best ever! I fuck up but I keep trying. I’m glad you’ve found some value in following along.


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Ugh. Insomnia again. I was up until 3:30 am last night(?) reading a book but slept in today until 11:30 am, so at least I got some shut eye. Then here I am again tonight - gah!

I’ve been spending the last few nights with MisterMoonbeam since DarkKnight has been sick, but tonight I am back downstairs with my husband. Of course, he’s snoring away next to me, not unlike MisterMoonbeam last night! I wish my brain could shut off.

In both bedrooms, my guys have the Echo Dots going while sleeping - both of them listen to “Thunder Sounds” which is a white noise program on repeat that plays, well, thunder and rain sounds to get you relaxed and sleeping. I do like it lots. Tonight I switched it up and DarkKnight & I are listening to “Space Deck” which is Amazon’s interpretation of what they think space ships sound like. It’s calming, though I am not sure if I like it or the rain better. Either way, I am still awake!

Tomorrow MisterMoonbeam is heading back to Virginia to spread his late wife’s ashes. He says right now he is planning on not spending the night - he is going there and then coming back. He’s going to take our car over, as the AC in his van is still busted. His check engine light is on now as well. It seems like him not driving his vehicle to work has it falling apart!

Anyway, DarkKnight & I are going to go to a couple of places while MisterMoonbeam is gone, to look at tables that might work for our game room - so we will have the van to transport something if we find it.

I am going to try and post some pictures but I have no idea how photos work with this new forum set up. I tried to “attach files” but all of them showed up with the message that they were too large. Hmmmm Let me see - looks like “medium” size photos might work. Not sure how this will actually turn out - but here are some photos of the game room shelving so far, and the mosaic I made on the one wall of the room (I posted that one before).

Okay I am going to try posting this and see what happens with the pictures.

Board game mosaic wall - I posted this before. I hot glued these onto the wall!

Our “horror” shelf. We actually have other themed games that don’t fit here, like Betrayal at House in the Hill. Oh well! The Ouija board I hope to take down off the wall this week - I am going to attach it with a metal plate on the back, so we can put the planchette on the front with a magnet! I hope I find some time!

These are just small games. Check out my Yahtzee cup collection.

Our main wall of games - a 4x4 Kallax with a 1x4 Kallax on top. This was taken after a quick shelving - there are duplicate games and a LOT missing. MisterMoonbeam has some in storage we need to dig out, and I had a bunch in a suitcase that were missing for a minute. Lol We also bought like 3 new games since this photo was taken.

Corner where the large Kallax meets the mosaic wall.


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Okay, cool! The pictures worked. Yay!

Just because I have been talking about it - here is my closet upgrade as well.

This is my old closet in what is now MisterMoonbeam’s bedroom. Crazy. There’s actually an organizing system in here, but you can’t see it from the chaos. I literally had two hampers full of clothes that wouldn’t fit.

This is the new closet. DarkKnight’s stuff is along the adjacent wall to the left. Sooooo much better for me! All of my shoes aren’t pictured, but other than that it’s fairly accurate. I am hoping to get an electrician here this month to install some track lighting. We have the fixture - just gotta remove the old light, which is in the wrong spot. As you can see in the upper right, the ceiling is still open! I am so glad we didn’t close it up yet, as that would have caused more work. Anyway, I love my closet now!


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I bought a table today y’all! I am seriously excited about it too! In a way, I am happy that my original purchase had such terrible shipping delays, because I love this one so much more. :) DarkKnight had to take the legs off to get it downstairs, and we are about to put it back together here shortly. I will post a pic when the room is complete - oh I am so glad right now to have this piece home. :) It’s a 50s dinette table with 4 matching chairs - the fact that it’s vintage makes it pair amazingly well with the mosaic wall, since so many of the boards are from older games! Yay!

Yet another cool thing wAs that it was originally cheaper than the first table that we canceled on, so not only did we save money with this option, but they gave me a discount on the price as well. DarkKnight and I saw the table at an antique marketplace, decided we wanted it, and then continued to browse the rest of the store. I told him that I was going to ask if we could offer $50 less and see what happened. Well, they instantly said yes! Whoo hoo!


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I have had a good weekend, overall. The game room is looking great - our checkerboard rug will be delivered tomorrow - and we played 3 scenarios of Gloomhaven: Jaws of the Lion today. It was great to sit in the new space together! We are enjoying the game too; it’s very involved but we are having fun with the story and it’s a small shot of an altered D&D that I have been missing!

The 3 of us got haircuts today - almost all of my red is completely gone now. I love the cut but I don’t, at the same time. I don’t enjoy it being short but it’s necessary when trying to get out all of the color in just a few months. So I think the cut is nice for what I have to do. I think I have mentioned the word Q-tip a few times! Here’s a photo progression from January to September, from red salon color to my all natural silver!





September (today!)


I am not 100% sure that I will keep it white, it was more curiosity than anything else driving the change. Well, that and hair salons being closed for months! I’ve been gray since 18 and I will be 43 this month. I think it’s neat to finally see what my hair is really like. I have to say too, that it’s pretty soft now as well.


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I slept in today until 11 am, waking up just in time to see DarKnight when he brought home lunch for all of us. I watched an episode of season 35 of Survivor, texted instructions to our cleaning lady for when she gets here in half an hour, and then came back downstairs for bed. MisterMoonbeam fed the cats and kittens lunch, and promises to handle everything else today.

I am so exhausted and I have no idea why. Thankfully there is zero on the schedule and I can just be lazy today. Dinner tonight is ordering in pizza and playing another Gloomhaven JOTL scenario.

Honestly I should be doing some prep work in the overflow room for Thursday’s big emptying out, but I feel like my check has been cashed and my energy account is empty. I don’t have any cramps and I don’t feel sick. I’m just needing more sleep today for some reason.


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I woke at 6 this morning to the alarm, reset it for 6:30 and passed back out until then. I NEVER do that, but apparently, I still needed sleep! I took DarkKnight to work so I could keep the car, and then came back home and slept til noon. I have no idea why my body is suddenly shutting off, but at least it’s during a time when I have nothing on the schedule!

Momma and kittens went to the clinic today. The new head of the foster program was there and she let me know that there was a backlog for spay/neuter surgery. After she left the room, the vet tech went OFF about how the head was just incompetent and the backlog was like 70+ cats and even during kitten season it Shouldn’t be that bad. Apparently paperwork is missing, emails are being ignored, and nothing is being done. Funny enough, 3 of the 5 kittens I had last month had their paperwork completely lost. I got a couple of phone calls and messages asking me to please turn in the folders, but thankfully so had saved the messages from when I dropped them off, and this person told me they had them in hand. Not my fault!

True to form (apparently) the email I had sent when taking custody of these kittens wasn’t followed up on and none of their names had been updated in the computer. I also had none of their medical forms, and they hadn’t been printed out for me, even though I was told they’d be ready. The vet tech was like, watch - she won’t do ANY of the work. She’ll expect me to do it all. Sure enough, the tech did all the shots, weighing and deworming. The head just played with one of the kittens most of the time.

Yikes! I’m glad this is my last batch of babies for the year!


I reminded them both that I had to have my foster room empty of kittens by the beginning of October, so we needed to get these cats fixed in a timely fashion. I’m going to send an email tomorrow with a reminder that Momma Meeple (photo above) is ready to go. She’s still very skittish, but every day is better. I have a home for her, just as soon as this surgery is done. Two of the kittens are also big enough to be adopted, but they can hang out with their siblings for a little longer if needed. Momma needs to go and start her life without her babies!


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How can they be behind on cat neuters.They take less than 2 minutes literally. They are the easiest procedure.
So looking at your board game shelf and seeing the obsession I've had all year unrepresented (and not willing to go back and see if I already mentioned it or not as it would have been essentially both our lifetimes ago in current events), I want to take this time to STRONGLY reccommend Disney Villainous.

You pick a Disney Villain, and take turns trying to reach your individual goals while throwing your opponants' heroes at them to slow them down. The game has probably my favorite art direction of any tabletop game I've played, and if you even somewhat like Disney it's a must-have. They did introduce a Marvel spin-off, but I've heard mixed reviews so I can't vouch as heavily for that one.

The base game has Maleficent, Prince John, Captain Hook, Queen of Hearts, Ursula, and Jafar. The three expansion packs have added Hades, The Evil Queen, Dr. Facilier, Scar, Professor Ratigan, Yzma, Mother Gothel, Cruella De Vil, and Steamboat-Wille-era Pete. There are plans to make more, but who knows with everything going on?

Just wanted to gush a bit about the game.


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Your hair looks great. Like you, I started getting gray hairs very young, at 21. And my mom went gray early too. Oddly, her only sister and my only sister kept their color much longer! Funny how genetics works.

I also gave up on salon color at about your age. The expense and the time sitting in the salon chair just seemed pointless. I embraced my silver fox persona. You can always add some crazy color streaks onto the white. That looks rad.