My central air repair cost us $80, since it was a filter clog. DarkKnight forgot to change it, apparently. So happy we didn’t have to buy a whole new unit!
All of our foster kittens have been adopted. It’s bittersweet - I am happy to not have the stress of dealing with all of the medical issues this last go around, but I am really going to miss their little faces! We plan to get another batch of babies at the end of the month. The plan right now is going to be naming them after Hamilton characters!
I spent the weekend with MisterMoonbeam in Virginia - one of our kittens was adopted by a friend of his there, so we delivered it and stayed a couple of nights in a hotel. Saturday was a pretty shitty day, I gotta say. It was one issue after another. We both had emotional responses to things unexpectedly. And then our hotel fire alarm went off at 10 pm at night and we had to evacuate while two fire trucks dealt with the fact that someone was smoking in their room. Crazypants.
One thing I wanted to write about was that we had decided to do another scratch off book date together. This one directed us to go to a thrift store and buy each other an outfit, which we would then wear and go on a trip out in public with them on (like getting an ice cream). I found some silly shiny silver sneakers - think Back to the Future - and some big Jnco jeans covered in patches for MisterMoonbeam. Nothing to clownish but definitely not something he would choose, ever. Lol After snagging a shirt that sort of worked in his size, I went to find him on the other side of the store, and I discovered him having an emotional breakdown. He couldn’t tell me what was wrong, but he said he needed to leave to get air and that he’d be right outside and back in a minute.
He was gone for 15 minutes, and when I finally left the store - abandoning all of the stuff I had in the cart - he was completely gone. Not in front of the store like he said, and nowhere in sight. I was deeply concerned - I have never been ghosted mid-date, much less by a primary partner! I walked around the parking lot and didn’t find him, so I went back to the car and after about another 5 minutes I texted him where I was. He answered immediately and soon appeared. He had gone behind the building and sat next to the dumpsters!
I took him back to the hotel, as he was crying and still really unable to articulate what was happening. Clearly he had a breakdown and some sort of panic attack. He kept apologizing and was crying, and I was just really concerned about his mental health. I was like, dude, IDGAF about the date - I care about you! Like, shit, it’s a freaking silly thing, and if it’s not something that you are having fun with, we don’t have to do it.
He really couldn’t pinpoint what his trigger was. It seemed to be a combination of things - he used to go thrifting with his late wife a lot, and he was anxious about making me look good, and was worried that he would do it wrong - and he had just been feeling awful at lunchtime about deciding NOT to go visit his two dogs that he had rehomed, because he wasn’t feeling emotionally ready to do that. I don’t think he even knows what it was - he was out of sorts for a while.
I felt bad because I really didn’t know what to do during the situation. Both of us respect each others’ space when we ask for it, and when he left the store he was clearly distressed but seemed to be communicating exactly what he needed - a minute to regroup. I didn’t want to interfere with that. After 20 minutes though, I was like, uh...
It wasn’t great for me because at a certain point I was internally freaking out because I thought he might have taken an Uber and like, left. And I was devastated at the thought that once again I had a partner who was just abandoning me with no warning that we were on the rocks.It was kind of terrifying, I have to say. I also was worried that he might be hurting himself, and in that case, I really felt like that was out of left field. It was like all these quick succession thoughts of “oh fuck“ but once he reappeared, all I was worried about was deescalating his emotions and making him feel safe.
Later on Sunday we went thrifting for board games at a bunch of different shops and he had zero issues. Actually, we started another scratch off book date that we had uncovered previously but decided earlier to do when we got back to Hagerstown. The first part was to visit a record shop and find the craziest, funniest album cover and buy it. While we were in a thrift store though, he grabbed a record and we both exclaimed over the cover, so we spent a few minutes looking for a second absurd one. We are going to finish that date later this week - maybe tonight. Anyway, the thrifting part itself wasn’t as overwhelming, so we both think the breakdown had something to do with the intensely personal idea of picking out clothing for me? Even though it was supposed to be silly, he was in his head trying to pick out something I would really love, I guess? He also said he kept coming across pieces that reminded him of his late wife. He said he needs to unpack it more and plans to do that, and he does want to attempt the date again at a later time. I am fine with that!
Oh, I also want to make a note that DarkKnight and I have reservations now for a vacation. He snagged us an AirBnB for a Thurs-Sun getaway in Indian Head. He found the location and apartment that he rented, and it looks like it’s going to be a lot of fun. We are right on the river and near a park to rent kayaks and go hiking. I can’t wait to get some away time with him!
