Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

Bluebird

Well-known member
I plan on getting the antibody test eventually - after the holidays - to check. This seems to have been a normal 7-10 day flu thing to me tho. Could it have been Covid, I guess? I definitely didn’t see any of the telltale hallmark symptoms. I would have expected it to seriously fuck me up too - I am overweight, I have immune system issues that are the sort that are like, I am gonna die if I get this, and the inferior blood type. So if it was Covid I was really fucking lucky in a LOT of ways.

My coughs stick around too - I get bronchitis almost every year because my lungs are bitches. I’m keeping an eye on my mucus but so far it’s just gross and clear. I am very tired of coughing. The more still I am, the better that is. It was harder today to be still, since I wasn’t glassy eyed and drugged up with fever. I found myself feeling impatient and wanting to do things. It’s frustrating to have a to do list and know that even attempting things means I will cough my head off and hurt myself.

So of course this is the time I MUST stay still and do nothing, because I am apt to make myself ill again by overdoing it.

My goal is to be all good so our trip to Ocean City isn’t jeopardized next week. Of course, if DarkKnight isn’t well then we will cancel. I am not sure how he will be, but we won’t travel unless we can follow the doctor’s orders. But now more than ever, I need to be away from my house and in a space where I can be refreshed.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
So I canceled our Ocean City Trip. I went to bed last night really thinking about the activities I was most looking forward to doing, and I realized that none of them were going to be enjoyable.

Sitting on the balcony, breathing in the crisp sea air? Right! And then hacking up frozen mucous when that cold hits my lungs!

Stretching out in the jacuzzi, soaking in the heat next to a big sexy man? Right! And then he coughs and flounders around, looking for the soggy tissue he dropped in the tub!

Fuck it. Wasn’t meant to be. The friends that were meeting us there canceled as well.

I am terribly disappointed, but now is not the time. I’m still not planning to put up my tree though. The good news is that I’m getting my $144 deposit back, which I completely did not expect.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
I am falling into a funk this morning. I can’t seem to come up with any activities that will be fun next week. Imma have two guys at home, no decorations up and I’m just blah.

Today though, hopefully, I will get rid of all of the community gifts that are clogging up my house. I can’t really enjoy it much though - I’m still coughing my head off whenever I walk more than 10 steps, and I definitely can’t pick up the bags and bins full of gifts. Unfortunately, a lot of the lifting is going to fall onto MisterMoonbeam this afternoon.

My plan is to have him answer the door (wearing a mask, of course), and getting the person’s name, and then I can look it up in the spreadsheet to get the number. And I can tell him where the gifts are, which he can then retrieve.

I am going to bag up some breakfast options to hand out (loaf of bread, a dozen farm fresh eggs, locally ground frozen sausage) and I have some turkeys in the freezer to move out of here as well.

I haven’t actually been on my porch in over two weeks, and the guys have been just pushing cardboard boxes of stuff out there, so it kinda looks a mess, I’m afraid. I want to organize things and make it look nicer, but being outside would shock my lungs. I HATE not being to do what I want.

I also need to get the wrapping paper ready - since only 21 or so of the 55 people picking up today actually have their presents wrapped, I am going to offer free rolls of paper. I have a crap ton of it that has been donated, so I need to move that out as well.

We have bins and boxes full of extra gifts, but I figure I will hang on to those and start putting those out tomorrow, since the people stopping by today will be already getting Christmas handled. I’d say on average, people have at least 7 gifts a piece, though some have lots more.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
I am just exhausted. All but 2 teens’ Christmas gifts have been picked up, and today I have given away almost 100 individual new items that were “extras” that people just donated here. My porch is a mess and so is my overflow room, but I am making progress!

Yesterday MisterMoonbeam and I spent the evening running errands and buying Christmas gifts that we still needed for our own family. It was the first time I had set foot outside my house in over two weeks and it felt very strange.

I am afraid I have overdone things and I am going to need some time to sit and breathe and recover. Still, I don’t regret it!
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
Ugh. My period came an entire week early and the cramps are killing me today. My emotions are a wreck because of the nonsense - I am super depressed to not be on our planned vacation, and instead home with no tree up and having a Christmas party tonight over zoom with all of my kids. It’s just not fucking fair.

I’m about to jump in the shower and put on my Christmas pajamas, so I hope that helps a little bit.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
I did a little bit of cleaning in the living room so far today; I scrubbed down the fireplace hearth, swept, and dusted. I also scooped my first litter box in like a month - since I have been sick, MisterMoonbeam took that chore over. OMG am I wiped out now! I am seriously tired. I have my Christmas pajamas on now, and our group photo will be in a couple of hours - my youngest will be by briefly to pick up all of our presents, and the finger foods that I bought yesterday and that DarkKnight put together today. My kids are having a party together tonight, which we will visit virtually. They are all still hanging out on a regular basis, but my household, I am still keeping separate. I think it's really sweet that they want to keep all of our traditions alive - they were adamant that they were going to do the finger foods for Christmas Eve! We are sending over a bread boat, 4 bottles of sparkling juice, Christmas cookies and shrimp. They are adding in a bunch of other things that they like, and we are also eating some different things here - little smokies, a veggie tray, and pulled pork in some puff pastries. I have a bottle of Cupcake Moscato d'Asti, and both my guys actually just left to go buy some winter warmer - some kind of beer.

I was sitting here in a funk, and I decided to do a reading with my Animal Divination Deck, and funny enough I pulled two cards that I have seen frequently in the past - the Raven and the Adder. Both are positive, signifying rebirth and starting anew. I really shuffled the cards well, so it was surprising to see them. However, they fit into the reading perfectly- so I guess it was meant to be. The new year is approaching, and that is always a new start. The Raven can bring the very deepest form of healing, and the Adder is shedding my old life easily, when the time comes to be reborn. My last card drawn was the Bee, reversed, This card is an indication that I am feeling out of place and unsure of my role in the world. It says that the bee is calling me to a celebration of life and that I need to spend time thinking about my role and then make decisions in accordance with my sense of purpose. hmmmmm Doing the reading did make me feel less our of sorts, not gonna lie.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
It’s a fucking blood bath at my house, and I really have no idea why. Ugh.

Last night I bled through my new pajama pants and made a HUGE mess on my couch. I had to unzip one of the seat covers and saturate it inside and out with spray and wash. It put a real damper on our holiday celebration, though by the time I even realized what was going on, we were getting ready for bed.

Then this morning, I woke to another mess, with my replacement PJ bottoms covered with blood, all the way down my leg! I had to strip off MisterMoonbeam’s sheets, and now those are on a two hour wash cycle in the laundry room.

WTF! I’m not sure what is going on - I am using tampons this cycle instead of my Diva Cup because it never got boiled the month before. It looks clean, but I was caught unaware with my period coming a whole week early and didn’t want to be bothered. Honestly, I don’t think it would have mattered - I am bleeding through these tampons at a rate I have never experienced before!

It’s fucking gross, and I am exhausted. Happy Holidays!
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
I guess since I am here and I am awake, I can share about our Zoom Christmas last night. It actually went really well!

My youngest brought over all of the gifts and picked up the ones we had here, to transport to BugGirl’s apartment. She was masked up, as were my guys. She took a couple of pictures of us in our matching pajamas, and snagged the food we had ready as well.

Technology didn’t crap out for once and we had a good time back and forth, with our laptop connected to our 55” TV. MisterMoonbeam had a webcam set up so everything went well. It wasn’t an ideal way to do Christmas, but it worked okay. At least we got to see everyone open their gifts!

After we did the present thing with the kids, we disconnected and did our own Christmas. I am impatient and the guys didn’t mind, so we swapped gifts between ourselves last night as well. I think everyone had a good time with that! DarkKnight bought me some Bath & Body Works stuff and MisterMoonbeam got me a Godzilla game. They also went in together and got me a gift “from your menfolk” which was a color printer that will print 12x12 sheets - which is what I have been wanting for ever so long to use with my scrapbooking and ancestry albums! I was really surprised at this because it wasn’t even on my radar!

I got MisterMoonbeam two different nerdy T-shirts (baby Yoda about to eat a frog, and Star Trek Discovery), dice and several books for a Star Wars roleplaying game. I made DarkKnight cry though - I surprised him with a series 6 iWatch. I didn’t buy it from his Amazon wish list, though it had been there forever - I got it straight from Apple, so he had zero clue it was coming. He didn’t even guess from the wrapped package - that’s how much he didn’t expect it! I was certain he would know as soon as he saw the shape, but he truly had no idea. He tore through the paper, stared at the box, and just started crying.

It was pretty great. ❤️

I will share our group photo. I feel really good about it - I lost some weight while I was sick with the flu! All of us are wearing our matching pajamas, with our Cathulhu theme this year.
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Bluebird

Well-known member
Ugh! I made a mess again on the couch today and I had to strip the cushion cover off and wash it again! I went ahead and did both of them this time, because I figured why not? They both are cleaner than they’ve ever been now, like new. I could do without this leakage though. I honestly have no idea what is triggering this insanity - this last time it took less than an hour to completely saturate and leak. Thankfully I caught it before it was a humongous mess but I am super tired of the nonsense!
 
I had a history of excessively heavy periods as well, and my GYN recommended a thermal ablation. One of the best things I ever did, especially since you don't want to get pregnant. No more periods!
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
Last night was really scary. DarkKnight and I were in bed, and he was sharing funny memes with me, and there was one particular one that had us howling! He started coughing and couldn’t catch his breath, and then he sat up and went to stand up to give himself some breathing room, and he went face-first onto the floor. Passed out completely.

I started crying and saying his name, but he didn’t respond. My phone was on my nightstand, but I got wrapped up in blankets and I dropped it and couldn’t find it for a minute. Then I had trouble unlocking it. Before I could call 911, he revived and was asking why I was crying and what happened. So I called MisterMoonbeam, and he came bolting down the stairs.

He got DarkKnight’s pulse/ox and took his blood pressure. Everything was okay, except that DarkKnight looked a mess. I was terrified for him about maybe having a concussion, but we sat up for over an hour together and he was okay.

Today the bruising on DarkKnight’s face isn’t as bad, but it is still sore. I am still shook up too.

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Bluebird

Well-known member
I am laying on the couch today, thinking of all the plans I have for the upcoming year! Here’s my plans for the Blessing Box - I will do a separate post for all parts of my life, eventually. :)

With the Blessing Box, I am excited about expanding and adding a couple of programs. I am going to be announcing the start of a Boot Bank - right now I have 8 or 9 pairs of steel toe work boots/shoes/sneakers for men and women. I’m hoping to get donations for more. Right now when social workers or individuals message me for help starting work “tomorrow,” I handle it with a quick flurry of messages. It will be much more efficient to just snag a pair from the shelf! Hopefully I can get more donations of used but good condition pairs, and some cash to keep separate just for this purpose, if someone has a weird size request.

I am also planning to maybe create a scholarship program - to give out some help to older teens who are graduating, or older adults wanting to go back to school. I’m just brainstorming this for now, but I am fairly certain I could raise at least $1000 for this, and give out a few boosts to our community. I’m not sure what my criteria will be, and if I will pay with a check to the school or to the individual. Again, I have been thinking about this for a few months but no real forward progress yet because it’s just an idea at the moment. Ideally I want to be ready to give it out in May.

That said, if I start that program, I more than likely will have to become a 501(c)(3). I finished filling out my state paperwork yesterday, that they sent me earlier this month, saying that I had to register as a charity. I am tax exempt if I raise less than $25,000 a year in cash and donations. It was a little tricky, filling the forms out, because I don’t keep track of food items and random kitchenware and baby stuff stuck in the Box by others! I estimated $100 a week worth of used items like that, so $5,200 a year. When added to my cash donations, in 2019 I took in $19,887.80. So I am close to the limit, but okay for now. But if I want to continue to grow, I am going to bump over that number, I am sure.

So one of my goals for this year is to research more on becoming an official nonprofit and see how that will effect my efforts.

Other needs that I see in the community right now include help with emergency vet expenses for neighborhood pets, and dental care for seniors (dentures) and individuals in recovery (meth mouth). I think I may set a goal of 2 sets of dentures or dentist trips this upcoming year. We are sponsoring one Senior on January 8 - she hasn’t had teeth in a long time, and we are buying her a set for $800. That is a small amount to make someone whole again. Since I am not a nonprofit yet, I may make that into another organization that does nothing but teeth. Again, I gotta think about how best to restructure stuff. I want to help so bad with this!

I also need to think about getting a building or a space to expand into. The city hasn’t hassled me in a long time, but our jerkface neighbor continues to harass people who visit us and she called the police on Christmas Eve Eve because she said she feared for her life, when a black man parked along the curb between our driveways and she came out to swear at him. Though, he was here to pick up a stocking for his dog, and he did not engage with her, other than her running out and screaming and swearing. The police told her to not say anything to anyone here, and to only contact them if she had her driveway blocked and she was trying to leave. Since that has never happened, hopefully that shuts down her nonsense.

Anyway, I am thinking of how to go about getting a place that is zoned commercial that will work. Maybe a house that is residential and commercial both? We’ve talked about buying a house and letting one or more of my kids rent our current house. I don’t see that happening this year, but maybe the next? So much to think about!
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
I had a wake up call last night. I was with MisterMoonbeam, and we were talking about how we are at 9 months together, and how things might be different if Covid wasn’t a thing. I told him I felt sad a bit because he skipped having NRE with me. He told me that wasn’t the case at all - he definitely was feeling it and just never vocalized it.

This really threw me for a loop - I thought he was just kind of like, okay, here’s a cool sort of chick that I will spend some time with now and then. I didn’t think he felt any sort of intensity toward getting to know me at all.

It was a shock and it made me tear up a bit because I have spent our entire relationship thinking I liked him waaaaay more than he felt for me. However, it turns out he has always been into me - he said he’s just “reserved” and anxious about appearing too intense and ruining things.

That got me thinking about how he was the first one to say I love you, and the round-about explanation he gave before saying it. He was like, it’s probably too early to say this and you probably have guessed, but if not I want you to know it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way yet...”

A lot of things clicked in my brain when he told me he had NRE at the start of our relationship. Last night it made me feel...relieved? I don’t know if that’s the right word. I wish he would have shown it and communicated it more. Though honestly, who knows if it would have changed anything - I was such a mess emotionally at the time, as was he.

Still, it’s nice to know he liked me intensely. 😊
 

icesong

Moderator
I had a wake up call last night. I was with MisterMoonbeam, and we were talking about how we are at 9 months together, and how things might be different if Covid wasn’t a thing. I told him I felt sad a bit because he skipped having NRE with me. He told me that wasn’t the case at all - he definitely was feeling it and just never vocalized it.

This really threw me for a loop - I thought he was just kind of like, okay, here’s a cool sort of chick that I will spend some time with now and then. I didn’t think he felt any sort of intensity toward getting to know me at all.

It was a shock and it made me tear up a bit because I have spent our entire relationship thinking I liked him waaaaay more than he felt for me. However, it turns out he has always been into me - he said he’s just “reserved” and anxious about appearing too intense and ruining things.
That sounds so VERY much like some of the conversations Artist and I have had about the beginning of our relationship, except we were *both* doing the thing, LOL.
 

Magdlyn

Well-known member
I still wonder if you and DK had/have Covid, despite testing negatively. If not, maybe it's pertussis. I had that when my kids were teens and caught it from a cousin. That is some damn intense coughing, to pass out and fall down like that.

As for your periods, have you not read up on peri-menopause? Heavy periods closer together are extremely common... and fucking annoying. Beware of anemia. They can make your periods even heavier and lead to more anemia, on and on. I was sleeping with a heavy day tampon in, plus a heavy day pad, and keeping towels under me and extras by the bed. When I stood up in the morning, I'd flood to the floor.

Other than that, endometrial cancer can also cause heavier than normal periods. (I had this cancer post menopause. I started bleeding despite being post-menopausal.) Being overweight can make you 2-4 times more likely to get endo cancer, because of the estrogen stored in your fat. I recommend making an appointment with your gyno, and getting checked for cancerous cells and for low blood iron.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
As for your periods, have you not read up on peri-menopause? Heavy periods closer together are extremely common... and fucking annoying. Beware of anemia. They can make your periods even heavier and lead to more anemia, on and on. I was sleeping with a heavy day tampon in, plus a heavy day pad, and keeping towels under me and extras by the bed. When I stood up in the morning, I'd flood to the floor.

Other than that, endometrial cancer can also cause heavier than normal periods. (I had this cancer post menopause. I started bleeding despite being post-menopausal.) Being overweight can make you 2-4 times more likely to get endo cancer, because of the estrogen stored in your fat. I recommend making an appointment with your gyno, and getting checked for cancerous cells and for low blood iron.
No need - I had my iron checked earlier this year and the level was perfect. I eat a lot of spinach and steak. So if I am anemic, it would have happened recently. I mean, I could very well have taken a hit - I didn’t eat for almost 2 weeks because I was so sick! But I really do think this messed up period was just a reaction from my sickness. It makes sense that my period would be screwed up - I’ve always had illness change my cycle in the past. I did have a pap already this year too, and everything was normal. I don’t think one heavy period would really warrant a cancer question to my gyno! That said, I definitely am keeping track of my cycle and will continue to do so. My period lasted a full week and it was heavy the entire time, but it did stop and things are back to normal now. We will see what January brings me!
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
I’m messaging my doctor tomorrow to see about getting tested for antibodies to see if I did have Covid, in spite of the negative test while sick.
 

Magdlyn

Well-known member
No need - I had my iron checked earlier this year and the level was perfect. I eat a lot of spinach and steak. So if I am anemic, it would have happened recently. I mean, I could very well have taken a hit - I didn’t eat for almost 2 weeks because I was so sick! But I really do think this messed up period was just a reaction from my sickness. It makes sense that my period would be screwed up - I’ve always had illness change my cycle in the past. I did have a pap already this year too, and everything was normal. I don’t think one heavy period would really warrant a cancer question to my gyno! That said, I definitely am keeping track of my cycle and will continue to do so. My period lasted a full week and it was heavy the entire time, but it did stop and things are back to normal now. We will see what January brings me!
OK, if it was just one period, there's probably no need for a checkup. I don't know how a cough/Covid/pertussis/bronchitis could bring on such a ridiculous amount of bleeding. If it persists, it could certainly just be peri-menopause. I'm pretty sure you're exactly the right age for that. I was 42 when it started for me, and I didn't have my very last period until I was 51. I was considered fully menopausal at 52.

I just bring up endometrial cancer because I had it, and someone else I know had it in her late 20s. She had heavy periods almost non-stop though, and was very overweight, and is much heavier than I was when I came down with it.
 

Magdlyn

Well-known member
I’m messaging my doctor tomorrow to see about getting tested for antibodies to see if I did have Covid, in spite of the negative test while sick.
It sounds like DK could get that done as well! That's some nasty ass bruising.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
Well, I figure if one of us has the antibodies, we all probably do!

It wasn’t just the cough, but the 2-week long fever. Any kind of sickness throws my body systems all out of whack - even stress has fucked up my cycle in the past.
 
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