Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

Bluebird

Well-known member
I took DarkKnight to work this morning so I could keep the car. With the temperature soaring, I made another plea for help with air conditioners, and I was able to find two at Target for $150. Places that have ACs in stock have bumped up the prices significantly, the assholes. I’m waiting for the notification that I can go pick up and then hopefully I can get them into homes super quick. Both people are waiting! My list of those still in need is whittling down but it’s still a significant number. That said, I’ve helped 56 people and with these 2 it will be 58.

I dusted off one of my living room bookcases today and straightened up and swept the porch. I need to shower but I figure I won’t bother until later tonight. With temperatures cresting 100 degrees, there’s no point - I am going to wilt and sweat like a MF in this heat.

My hidradenitis is as bad as it’s ever been and I am just hoping that it calms down. I have a cyst on my back, several small ones in my left arm, a large lipoma in my left arm (doctor says it’s not related but it fucking hurts so I doubt him) and I have a small bump on my forehead. The one on my forehead looked just like a zit for a while, but it’s not disappearing and I’ve done everything I can but it just keeps weeping. Pretty sure it’s a new spot. I’m still in stage 1 and I am forever grateful that is the case. Seriously - I cry sometimes when I look at photos of others with this affliction. I have it combined with my “sweat allergy” so it’s fucking brutal, but it is no where as near as bad as what I see in support groups. Still, at absolutely any time it could flare and progress. It’s terrible to live with the anxiety. I’m a mess this morning.
 
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Bluebird

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I just finished up my gyno appointment. For some reason I am always put with a different provider each time I go, so I have to explain my situation. The lady I saw today was very thorough and I really appreciated her taking the time to discuss things with me.

First off, I had a Pap smear last year and since I’ve never had an abnormal one, she said I didn’t need one today - she’d recommend 3-5 years between them. Well alrighty!

Second, she put me on a low-dose daily birth control pill to help regulate my cycle. Apparently a progesterone supplement would be given if I was trying to get pregnant, but since that is definitely something I don’t want, she said estrogen would be the best choice for where I am at now. So I guess we will see how it goes! I won’t start them until my next period, which will be in a little bit, if it doesn’t go wonky again on me!

Next, we discussed my STD testing. She said she’d do the swab and order bloodwork. (They took three vials, the vampires!) I asked her about herpes testing and she said she’d include those as well since I requested them.

SirGawain is HSV-2 positive, if anyone remembers back when I was first seeing him. He still hasn’t had an outbreak in 4 years since he’s known he has it - well, he’s never had an outbreak ever. By default, I am assuming ButterCup is also positive. (As of her most recent testing, she said she was negative on everything, but I don’t think she was tested for herpes 1&2.) Anyway, because of this keeping things as safe as possible is important to me.

The gyno wrote me a prescription for Valtrex. She says it works great as a preventative, as well as a suppressant - so it’s a good thing for me to be on if I’m sexing up positive peeps. She said I should continue to use condoms with SirGawain to lower the odds, but said with ButterCup, there isn’t a ton to do to keep myself in the clear other than take the Valtrex. She said that transmission rates from woman to woman are very low - especially when there have been no signs of infection or shedding. Of course “low” doesn’t mean zero, so I am going to probably take the Valtrex for further peace of mind. That said, I am beginning to feel kind of eh about ButterCup - her coming down to see me just isn’t in the cards anytime soon, and I don’t have the time available to go back up to see her. Right now it’s a non-issue and will remain so for quite a while.

Oh, and HSV-1 is still a concern as well, since PunkRock had that. I always avoided him when he had cold sores and I’ve still never had one. My tests have remained negative for that, and hopefully still! I should get all my results back next week.

My mammogram today went well today too. My imager says she got great pictures - my insurance covers the 3D stuff - and I should should get a letter in the mail soon as long as everything looks good. Again, I have no reason to think otherwise. My family back and back and back has zero genetic issues with breast cancer, and I’ve never felt or seen anything concerning.

I also wanted to mention that I was nervous about my weight but apparently I’ve not gained anything recently, so that was good news. I mean, I’m fat, but I’m not ballooning or anything. So yay! I’m writing this from sitting in my car, overlooking the lake in City Park. While eating a Wendy’s chocolate Frosty. 😂
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
I picked up my prescriptions and the birth control pills were free! The Valtrex was $30-something. I’m going to do reading on both before starting either. I spoke to ButterCup - she said she’s actually due for a mammogram right now herself and she hasn’t followed up on the hsv2 testing but she will call on Monday.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
I’ve been doing a lot of googling this morning, and I have yet to find a single article or post anywhere about taking Valtrex when you don’t already have herpes. Google bolds up an article from 2003 saying that if you’re uninfected, it does nothing. The older date gives me pause, but you’d think if that wasn’t the case I’d find a more current source. If it’s not going to do anything, I certainly don’t wanna take it and risk shitty side effects for no reason. Ugh. I’m going to write a message to my primary doctor over our patient portal and ask for help figuring this out.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
I am so tired today, and DarkKnight’s bed is super snuggly! Our FIV+ kitty, Olivia, is currently laying across my legs and purring super loud. I love her so much, but have to get up and pee! I need to shower this morning for sure - I didn’t yesterday and I feel all gross.

Today is our Pandemic Legacy game day. DarkKnight says he is making Chicken Divan for dinner, for everyone, but he went to bed last night with really bad back pain and I guess it is still hurting him this morning. He’s not sure what happened. Right now I am trying to think of a snack while we are gaming - I want to make a charcuterie board, but I am absolutely terrible at making them small. Lol I like to go all out, and there just isn’t enough space for us to play the game and do a super amazing spread.
 

Magdlyn

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Staff member
I went on estrogen/progesterone birth control pills at about your age, because my sex drive had picked up so much, and my ex h and I had been using a diaphragm for 20 years, and I found it inconvenient and kind of uncomfortable at that point to be wearing it for 8 hours a day, every day (since we were having sex daily, which we had not done since we were in NRE). Unfortunately, despite never having had a problem in my younger years, I developed blood clots in my leg and both lungs after a couple years on the Pill. Come to find out I had a blood condition called Factor V Leiden, which made me 7 times more likely to clot. Hormonal bc (pills/implants) also makes you 7 times more likely to clot. So I was a ticking time bomb, walking around 49 times more likely to clot!

My dr told me to get my daughters tested, since it is hereditary, and one of them turned out to be positive for this condition as well. She is not supposed to ever use estrogen-based bc, just the "mini-pill" progesterone one. (She's crazy though, and has probably forgotten, again. She had gone ahead and gotten an implant a few years after her test, but it made her even more insane, so she got it removed, luckily before it caused any clotting. But since then, who knows what she's been using.)

Anyway, I read later that no woman over 40 should be on extra estrogen, because we are more likely to clot from excess estrogen than younger women are. I'd been on the Pill from age 16-22 with no problems. I also had problem-free pregnancies. Some women with blood-clotting disorders end up with a clot in their umbilical cord. Sadly, I had a friend whose term baby died during birth because of a clot in the cord. :) I felt lucky that had never happened to me.

I was pretty pissed that my dr had recommended bc pills to me without doing any testing. But they just do not test peri-menopausal women for contra-indications for taking estrogen. My point is, heavy irregular periods are hella gross and annoying, but just that alone is no real reason to start fucking with your estrogen artificially. You might want to research that as well. Find out just how low your "low dose" pill is and check if that is actually as low risk as you think.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
I actually had written a paragraph about the same thing sorta to my regular doctor, but the app limits character count so I had to delete it out of there. I left just the stuff about Valtrex in. I do plan to write him back. I have been on pills before, but it was as a teenager. I have never used any sort of hormonal birth control as an adult, except for the progesterone when I was actively trying to conceive and extend my luteal phase so fertilized eggs could actually implant.

I’m experiencing hot flashes too from time to time, but they aren’t horrid. Having my cycle be completely out of whack is definitely fucking up plans. I will talk to my doctor though - maybe he has another idea! The pack of birth control bills I got isn’t due to start until my next period, so I have time to figure it out.
 

Magdlyn

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Staff member
Again, I recommend the Wisdom of Menopause book that I mentioned earlier.

The thing is, when we hit perimenopause, our estrogen starts firing irregularly. Some months there might be more than average, sometimes less. Testosterone is also made in the ovaries and can also become irregularly released. So just adding an extra steady dose of estrogen 3 weeks a month may risk overloading your body with it, leading to higher risks of clots, even if you don't have a blood mutation like me.

I recall that many women use the herbal supplements blue and black cohosh to help regulate hormones. (That might have been covered in the book.) I'm sure you can get supplements of these in your local HFS.

I am not a doctor or a midwife, but as a La Leche League member and Leader for 30 years, I ended up learning a lot about women, their breasts and their reproductive organs. My forte was not menopause though, and I had a rude awakening back in 2004. :(
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
I actually bought the book when you recommended it on my Kindle, but I forgot about it! 🙃 I haven’t started a new read yet after finishing my last book, so I will bump it to the top of the list! What you are saying about the estrogen makes sense. I am not a fan of any herbs or supplements, so we will see. I don’t like to play around with stuff unless approved by my doctor. Of course, my doctor is relatively new - my previous one left to go back to the Philippines, and this guy is right out of school. Maybe in his newness he will have fresh ideas!

I am done with today at this point. SirGawain was like an hour late for our gaming group today, but we all had fun once things got started! I talked to him a short bit about him staying overnight at my house once a week - it’s exhausting for me to have to always be the one going there. Now that I have the spare room functional - I got the smart TV hooked to the internet and there’s a new mattress and pillows - I would like things to be more equitable with the back and forth. He said yes it would make sense, but he drives so far back from work each evening, an extra 25 minutes feels like he won’t ever make it. We will see I guess.

My furniture delivery guy just messaged and he’s canceling Thursday deliveries, which means for the last 15 minutes I’ve been trying to reschedule with everyone. I have six pieces of furniture effected, which means I have to contact that many recipients and donors. 😢 Back and forth, to see which days work. Which of course, none of them do. I didn’t get anything worked out yet. I’m tabling it all until tomorrow at this point!

I also helped MisterMoonbeam fold and put away like 4 baskets of his clothes - mine too, though I’m not sure how it all got mixed together! I also scooped littler in his office and bedroom, swept in the bedroom, and emptied my garbage & recycling on my side of the bed. Honestly, this is the crappy part of polyamory - everyone has chores! 😂

Oh well, we are all done now! Tomorrow I have to get up early to take DarkKnight to work so I can keep the car. The one church I partner with has boxes of produce to share. I will be picking all that up tomorrow morning. At least it will be before the hottest part of the day!
 

FallenAngelina

Well-known member
Again, I recommend the Wisdom of Menopause book that I mentioned earlier.

I highly recommend this book. Christiane Northrup MD completely transformed my experience of menopause into a highly productive and joyful era. Unfortunately, IMNSHO she seems to have gone off the rails in recent years and has descended into kook territory during The Pandemic. Still, her earlier work was a lifeline for me and she remains a cherished elder because of her transformative perspective on the wisdom of the female body.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
I will read it this week. :) LOL about her being kooky now
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
Ugh. 2 hours of sleep last night - well, actually this morning from 6:30-8:30 - but I am managing. I had to go to a local church and pick up 25 produce boxes and a bunch of cantaloupes. My finger went right into a too-ripe cantaloupe so I was not too happy! They’re actually all gone now and the the produce boxes are moving quickly, in spite of the weather.
 

icesong

Moderator
Staff member
I highly recommend this book. Christiane Northrup MD completely transformed my experience of menopause into a highly productive and joyful era. Unfortunately, IMNSHO she seems to have gone off the rails in recent years and has descended into kook territory during The Pandemic. Still, her earlier work was a lifeline for me and she remains a cherished elder because of her transformative perspective on the wisdom of the female body.
Wow. I hadn’t heard of her before, googled and yeah, into seriously out there territory.

I just read Dr Jennifer Gunter’s “menopause manifesto”, which came out this year - I’m not quite there yet but the map of what to expect was _really_ great and I highly recommend it.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
I just got some super cute stickers in the mail!

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Wow. I hadn’t heard of her before, googled and yeah, into seriously out there territory.

I just read Dr Jennifer Gunter’s “menopause manifesto”, which came out this year - I’m not quite there yet but the map of what to expect was _really_ great and I highly recommend it.
Dr. Jen Gunter is AWESOME. I bought her "The Vagina Bible" for my teenage daughter. It's time for ME to get tne menopause book.

I first became aware of Dr. Gunter when I read an article of hers denouncing those vagina eggs Gwyneth Paltrow peddles on GOOP.

That Christiane Northrup is crazypants.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
I really appreciate all of the book feedback!


I am now two chapters into the Northrop book, and I gotta say, she sounds like my best friend in New York. I am constantly giving her the side eye because she attributes everything going wrong with her body as something that can be attributed to well, her attitude. Like, if you could only be happier, or face your problems with an open mind, all of these health issues can go away. I believe she’d be in the camp that my ex-husband’s sterility would be curable if he could only forgive his childhood traumas, but in reality it’s a genetic issue that will never heal (he has an XXY mosaic karotype). I don’t believe in that sort of thing.

Can illness be a side effect of stress and unresolved trauma? Absolutely. But is it always the case - no.

Right now I am struggling with the worst time I’ve ever had with my hidradenitis. I’m trying to link it up with things going on. My stress level is high right now - but it’s definitely been higher. My diet hasn’t changed. However, this menopause stuff with my hormone levels fluctuating could be it. Or, it could just be the weather. Idk. I haven’t had any correlations that I can see.

My friend also tries to solves all of her issues with dieting - eliminating carbs, eliminating dairy. Eliminating legumes. Eliminating sugar. Eating only raw. I love her dearly but damn. A lot of HS support boards have people saying they’ve had success with doing this as well, but I’ve never had luck because my flares are only stage one and so far apart that it is impossible to know.

Maybe I shouldn’t try to be connecting my HS with what’s going on with my cycle. Sigh.

Anyway, so far as an author, Northrop isn’t keeping me interested. I’m going to read the whole thing because I can’t quit books once I’ve started. Lol Hopefully it improves. So far I’ve highlighted one passage:

A1CA786B-026A-4B46-A883-9E1A56C32228.jpeg

I guess the key word in that is *may* but I am interested in thinking more about this statement and how it relates to relationships. Not really much how it relates to menopause.
 
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icesong

Moderator
Staff member
That quote reminds me of the opening of Brené Brown’s Rising Strong. (I loved Daring Greatly; haven’t finished Rising yet so I don’t know whether that’s a recommendation or not.)
 

Magdlyn

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Staff member

Bluebird

Well-known member
Wow, I withdraw my recommendation of Northrup's menopause book, not because it isn't good, but because she's gone QAnon crazy and no one should be giving her their money! Oh my fucking god, what a whack job. I see she let her MD license lapse in 2015. What happened? She's insane now. https://www.pressherald.com/2021/05/02/meet-christiane-northrup-doctor-of-disinformation/
Well it’s a little late for that, though I think her crazy is apparent in what I’ve read so far. From what I’ve finished, she’s already a bit in la-la land for me. I’m determined to complete the thing though!
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
Ok never mind, I am only 7% into this book. I didn’t realized I still have like 800 pages to go. Fuck it - I am going to throw in towel! I have too many other books I wanna focus on this month. I tried, at least. The way she writes - I can’t do that many more pages.

She just wrote a sentence about how someone who is suffering from poor cardiovascular health can’t ever be fully healed unless they deal with their poor spousal relationship. Like, I’m all in when talked about mind-body connections, but I really can’t continue to try and process this. If someone is born with a heart murmur, or a hole in their heart, no amount of emotional work is going to fix that. She’s really too broad in her statements.

I’m giving up and moving on to the next book on my Kindle!
 
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