Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

Bluebird

Well-known member
Worst cramps ever.

I got my period while in Texas but it was next to nonexistent, but enough that I went through a whole pack of small tampons. It stopped completely until last night and now BAM. Fuck this. Ugh. It hurts so bad. MisterMoonbeam brought me some medicine but it hasn’t kicked in and I wanna die.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
Wow, so MisterMoonbeam was given ANOTHER 5% raise yesterday! That works out to like an additional $200 in his every two weeks paycheck. He said his boss was given a budget for employee retention, and he was considered an absolute must because they never want to lose him! This is after the big raises he was given 6 months ago. He says he didn’t feel then like he really deserved a raise, and he definitely doesn’t now, but it’s not like he’s going to turn down free money!

The other thing that happened yesterday is that his boss wants him to go to Arizona in August. Which, yeah, I was about to buy plane tickets to go visit his oldest son in August. He’s pretty sure he can schedule the trip for the week before when we were planning. So his airfare will be free, we will get the hotel and car rental for free, and we will have a budgeted amount that’s covered for food, and we will be there much longer! Because of the way the weekend hits, our cost has been reduced considerably - it will just be my airfare, and 3 nights of hotel and 2 days of car rental fees. The plane ticket for MisterMoonbeam will be extended and normally he would have to pay the difference because he wants to stay longer, but the price right now is less if he stays longer!

Anyway, I reached out to his daughter-in-law, and since she is a stay at home mom, she is up for meeting up during the week with me while MisterMoonbeam is at work. We will be in Phoenix, and then we will move at the end of the week to Tucson. We figure we can do one evening with his late wife’s parents (they live in Phoenix as well).

He’s figuring out the scheduling and booking the trip through work today.

Tonight I have a double date with DarkKnight and my BFF and her poly partner. We are going to dinner and then to see a stage play called She Kills Monsters, which is about D&D. I’m excited about it!

I’m planning on spending Saturday and Sunday with SirGawain. We are going to see an Orioles game with his siblings and dad for Father’s Day. I haven’t seen him since last Sunday.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
Orioles win! 😄 I am not a baseball or sports person - but I do like going to live games of just about anything. When I do get a chance to attend, I always cheer for the home team. SirGawain & I had fun today in Baltimore, at Camden Yards, followed by dinner at a place called Rocket to Venus, with most of his family.

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I am really loving my hair right now - I decided not to do the rainbow dye for Pride, and just leave my natural color alone. It’s still sooo much longer than I’ve had it in decades, and that’s been fun. I don’t know what to do with it half the time, but even though you can’t tell here, it was in sort of a halfway updo! I am thinking about watching some videos on how to do do different styles. Sigh. If I can find the time!

I did have fun on my Friday date with DarkKnight! We saw a play called She Kills Monsters which was D&D themed. We had Indian food before the show, and it was fun to double date with my friend and her new partner!

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Yesterday evening, SirGawain came to our house and we had a polycule dinner out at Nikkos, my favorite hibachi place in town. We were going to all go to play D&D at the downtown game store, but MisterMoonbeam decided he’d rather stay home and call his brother, and I was feeling absolutely exhausted and drained from a heavy period day, so I asked SirGawain if we could just go to his house. DarkKnight went though, and he had a wonderful time!

Oh, about MisterMoonbeam’s brother - he had told us he had all sorts of news about his own family, and boy did he ever! He’s left the church (the family is all VERY evangelical, so much that both brothers graduated from a religious-based college, and MisterMoonbeam - his Bachelors degree is in Bible Studies). Anyway, they’ve really reconnected and have been able to talk bunches about personal stuff and it’s so great to hear! MisterMoonbeam encouraged his brother to go to therapy - not just for the leaving the church thing, but 3 out of 4 of his children are moving through identity re-defining things right now, stuff I won’t be specific about here, but like, major, major shifts. We definitely need to schedule a trip to see them in the Fall.

I’ve got a busy schedule coming up this week - MisterMoonbeam & I are going to a rope event Wednesday, and on Saturday, all of my guys are attending Frederick Pride with me. Oh, it feels so amazing to have their support! Sunday, SirGawain & I are supposed to go tubing together. Should be fun!
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
Ugh I was all sorts of out of sorts last night. MisterMoonbeam and I had a tearful discussion surrounding our lack of a sex life - he’s put me on hold for the past month. The last time we were sexually intimate in any way was June 1. He continues to struggle with a lot of the stuff surrounding his late wife, and how they shared intimacy, but also how they fought and struggled. Apparently his last therapy session has left him even more emotional.

Today was okay though - he was very responsive to my need for reconnection with physical touch: hugs, snuggles, hair stroking. He was the best at trying to make me feel better. He also brought up going to get dance lessons, as he suggested a couple of months ago when we went to the Pagan Prom together. Like, he’s talking to a dance studio right now and we are either starting Friday night or early next month!

I’m still struggling though. I think it really was made worse because I am feeling weird AF with SirGawain. Not only have we not been intimate since last month, but he continues to not even reach out to hold my hand, snuggle up on the couch, rub my arm in bed - nothing. He kisses me goodbye as a simple peck on the lips. It’s, well, weird AF. It’s like I have this platonic partner who really doesn’t care that physical touch is my love language.

I didn’t sign up for this. The only thing that’s kept my discontentment below the surface was the fact I’ve been super busy and all over the place with my schedule. I haven’t had time or energy to discuss it.

This weekend was good though - he responded when I grabbed his hand and held it at the baseball game, and I felt like we were having fun. But the night still ended with him displaying zero interest in making out or anything beyond sitting next to me and being friendly.

That said, SirGawain called me this morning to tell me that he matched with someone on Bumble! My first knee-jerk reaction was to squee to myself, because it would be amazing to have someone to team up with to make him feel special. He needs more of that in his life. However, the more he talked about this upcoming coffee date, my heart was sinking.

1. He used older pictures. He’s effectively catfishing this chick. He told me he hadn’t updated since before he and I started dating. We’ve talked about his photos before, and they’re pretty terrible. I mean, it’s more like a reverse catfish, because he looks better in real life, in my opinion. But it’s still not good.

2. Apparently he didn’t tell his date that he’s polyamorous. Now, I consider this shitty and somewhat unethical to spring on someone on a first date. However, that’s between them. It doesn’t really effect me, so I’m like, okay, well, good luck with that. Does this ever turn out well??

3. He’s very sure she’s monogamous. Um, *record scratches* what the fuck? Did he forget that my ex left me for a monogamous woman? Is he conveniently forgetting this? I’m sorry, but this is a boundary overstep for me and it’s kinda freaking me out. I do not want to be in a relationship with anyone that’s entertaining monogamous folks. It scares me way too much.

I’m wondering if he wants to find a monogamous woman to get married to and have a baby with and climb that relationship escalator with, now that he’s been apart for a while from his abusive ex. Clearly he isn’t going to get that from me, but we haven’t talked about it. Even if he denies this, can he not see this is *probably* the goal of a monogamous woman? I don’t know how to feel or act in partnership with a metamour with this as a goal.

I stopped thinking about things past this. I figure I will just see how things unfold. But I am anxious about being dumped for a monogamous woman again, and - given the state of our relationship - just breaking up in general.

Fuck.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
Spending the morning of my day off in bed. I need to shower though, so I am for real getting up in a moment. MisterMoonbeam and I are supposed to be going to a rope skillshare tonight but that’s the only thing on my calendar, except for random errands.

I have two StitchFix bags to return to the post office, and I need to go to Sam’s Club to buy a couple of air conditioners, toilet paper and razor heads. Apparently BugGirl’s Texas boyfriend is visiting Thursday-Tuesday, so I need to clean the house a bit. I should pay bills as well.
 

Eponine

Member
2. Apparently he didn’t tell his date that he’s polyamorous. Now, I consider this shitty and somewhat unethical to spring on someone on a first date. However, that’s between them. It doesn’t really effect me, so I’m like, okay, well, good luck with that. Does this ever turn out well??

3. He’s very sure she’s monogamous. Um, *record scratches* what the fuck? Did he forget that my ex left me for a monogamous woman? Is he conveniently forgetting this? I’m sorry, but this is a boundary overstep for me and it’s kinda freaking me out. I do not want to be in a relationship with anyone that’s entertaining monogamous folks. It scares me way too much.
These definitely look like red flags to me. :( I'd be very concerned if my partner did this too. Hope he'll at least disclose his poly status on the first date.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
Well, SirGawain called me yesterday evening after work to tell me he was ghosted by his date and they never ended up firming up an actual place or time; they didn’t meet. At that revelation, I decided to tell him all of my concerns. He was extremely quick to respond to my number 3 issue, saying that now that he knew it was a boundary for me, he completely understood how it would be an issue. He said he has zero desire to pursue a mono partner for himself if it meant that I would have such anxiety.

I was actually on the way to the rope skill share event with MisterMoonbeam when I got the call, so I told him I wanted to talk more about everything when we had our overnight, which is this evening. So I guess we will be doing that, which is a good thing. Honestly, I never really thought this boundary through at all - it’s just not something I thought I’d need to vocalize because I thought it was pretty clear to anyone in a relationship with me that I would have issues with a monogamous metamour. Definitely at this time, and well into the foreseeable future, I don’t see this as a configuration I want to be a part of with anyone. I am looking forward to discussing it more so we can hash it out.

All of that said, I had an amazing evening out with MisterMoonbeam. I had my hair up in buns!

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The rope group didn’t end up being much of a skill share though, as MisterMoonbeam put me up on a paddling bench, tied my legs together, and proceeded to spend the evening experimenting with different chest harness configurations. He was feeling like he didn’t want to approach anyone, and I try to let him take the lead in all things at this sort of event - I’m just his bunny. I’m also not apt to complain when he’s completely focused on me and making me feel blissed out of my mind with the restraints on my skin.

It was hot as hell, and he definitely had more than a chub at certain points. He removed my bra after a bit, and I felt amazing to have his attention and the rope touching my bare skin. I was wearing a wrap dress, so it was easy to just pull the top part down so he had access to everything he wanted to see and do.

We left an hour early because he has a lot of anxiety at these sort of events. This is something he’s addressing in therapy. He said he definitely wants to practice more at home this month, so that’s exciting! It’s a performance anxiety - he feels like he’s not doing a good job and others might be judging him. Which is not exactly true as it’s a skill share, and everyone there is trying to learn new things! (I think he’s wonderful.) I’ve seen him stress out like this in other environments, and it’s definitely an issue he has.

He told me he wants to watch more videos and attend the group’s monthly play party, which is very different from the skill share. I am totally fine with this as we went to one earlier this year. My bestie and her current partner have expressed an interest in going to one as well, so we may or may not invite them along. I’m going to ask MisterMoonbeam more about this. Honestly, we will have to check the dates because the upcoming couple of months are going to be FULL.

Which includes tomorrow, as we have an 8 am appointment to see another building we might purchase. DarkKnight is going into work late so he can look at it too. I haven’t been this excited about a location since the one we had to cancel our contract on; this seems like it will be perfect for us!

I do have some questions though, as the slate roof is literally sliding off of the building, and I have no idea how much that will cost. Also, the entire area will be under construction soon. That will really impact any commercial ventures there! It’s diagonal from where our city is demoing several buildings and constructing a multi-use stadium. This will definitely increase the property value in the long term, but it could impede our ability to make money in the short term! Also, if multiple offers come in, there is zero chance we can compete financially. We really can’t afford to spend more than half a million - purchase price and fixes - even with the angel investors assisting us. I think previously this was an obtainable goal, but right now everything available is becoming inflated and we can’t succeed with the prices climbing now. I hope this one works out. We are prepared to make our best offer tomorrow if the place seems workable for us!
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
My first Pride as part of the alphabet, instead of just an ally. My partners were all there, and my bestie too. She gave me permission to post her picture.

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SirGawain, DarkKnight, me and MisterMoonbeam

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I was stopped by at least a dozen people, telling me they loved my shirt! MisterMoonbeam said I was 90s gay. Lol

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Eponine

Member
Very cute shirt! And it's funny that all three guys have the same facial hair style. :LOL:
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
Very cute shirt! And it's funny that all three guys have the same facial hair style. :LOL:
Apparently I have a thing for big bearded guys. 😅❤️
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
This week is another busy one! Yesterday morning MisterMoonbeam & I made a trip to the mall and bought matching pairs of white Converse sneakers, for the all-white party we are attending next month. In the afternoon, I drove over to pick up SirGawain, and we went together to a Celebration of Life event in Bethesda. My bestie’s fiancé passed away last year, and his friends held this little party in remembrance. I was really glad that SirGawain came along - he had never met the deceased, so he was there to support me, as I was there to support my friend. Afterward we met up with her poly partner for dinner.

Today I overslept but still managed to get everything out for the Blessing Box in time. We’ve been crazy busy since opening, so my plans of sorting and paying bills didn’t work out today! Tonight MisterMoonbeam is attending a pagan pride volunteer meeting, so he won’t be home for dinner.

Tomorrow I have an overnight with SirGawain.

Wednesday is my next dance class with MisterMoonbeam, and it will be a private one this time. I’m very excited about it - we had so much fun last week!

On Friday, DarkKnight and I are leaving at ass o’clock to drive to New York. We will be there all weekend, helping my mom with some things, including sorting out her cable bill. We are going to get her to cut the cord and share our streaming services since she can’t really afford things right now. What’s crazy is that when we come back, I am leaving immediately on a 3 day camping/hiking trip with MisterMoonbeam!
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
I finally got all of our regular bills paid, all of the credit cards completely paid off except for one, all of our medical bills are covered and I paid for a bunch of hotel rooms for upcoming trips. The bank balance definitely dipped! Still, it’s nice to have everything covered!

I paid for the NY hotel DarkKnight and I are staying in on Friday, and I talked to my nephew and my sister separately to plan out the rest of the weekend. Right now the idea is that we will go to my mom’s on Friday, and help her with the cable bill and streaming service set up. We will meet with my sister and her family at our hotel so everyone can go swimming, and have dinner together. Saturday I’m hoping to meet up with my NY bestie for lunch, but then DarkKnight & I are driving down to see my nephew’s first apartment, which is in Elmira. I need to book a hotel room there, which I am going to do in a minute!

We are going to knock out one of my Bucket List items and finally see the Corning Museum of Glass on Sunday! I am so excited. Those tickets have to be purchased now as well - we are going to do one of their glass-blowing classes while there. I’m not certain, but we need to decide whether we are staying overnight a second night so we can pick up creations on Monday, or if we are just going to have them shipped and then head home. I did find our Pittsburg Zoo tickets that still haven’t been used - it might be fun to go there Monday…we will see! DarkKnight & I are about to have a conversation. Lol
 

Bariah

Member
I finally got all of our regular bills paid, all of the credit cards completely paid off except for one, all of our medical bills are covered and I paid for a bunch of hotel rooms for upcoming trips. The bank balance definitely dipped! Still, it’s nice to have everything covered!
It's good to know that the "broke and in love" motif can still bounce back! Enjoy NY and glass blowing!
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
NY is all planned now. We’ve got both nights of hotel booked, the Museum of Glass tickets are purchased, and we’ve paid for our classes. I’m excited! We decided to come home Sunday, so we will have Monday to get together as a polycule and eat bbq on the holiday. But also to rest from all that driving!

I can’t even begin to explain how squee I am about our glassblowing classes. I took a date night class with PunkRock before we got married, and we made an ornament for our Christmas tree together. I donated that last year at the Box’s holiday giveaway, and I feel like it’ll be amazing to have a new one that’s just mine. ❤️ The class I am personally doing is to make a Pride ornament! It’s almost like when I was starting over with my rock collection - it was once something we had jointly, but now it’s all my own. It makes me feel very happy and proud. My interest in both things was something I had before our relationship, and now I will have my own thing once again.

My boobs have lost like a cup size. I went from a DDD to a DD. I don’t know why I lost the weight - I still eat like a hogger. I think the muscles in my legs are firmer too. Idk. I last wore this dress in 2020 and it was much tighter on me. I feel like it hangs a bit now. Here I am today. My hair is blonde AF or bright white, depending on the light!

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MisterMoonbeam and I had our private dance lesson tonight. OMG it was again a total blast! It’s so great to just be staring into his eyes with him smiling at me! He is always so happy afterward too - it’s like his depression lifts and he’s just this ball of sunshiny love and energy. We scheduled another lesson for next Friday, when I am back from NY - and home from the camping trip we have together right after!

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Magdlyn

Moderator
Staff member
Exercise is known to lift depression, so I am not surprised. Aries loves to go on walks in the woods with me.

As for Corning, Pixi grew up in that area, and I've been there many times. The Museum of Glass is truly amazing. If it works with your schedule, go to Donna's Restaurant on Market St, just a couple minutes from the museum, for breakfast or lunch. Donna's food is great and her vintage Pyrex collection is displayed all over the walls and in the windows. Oddly, even though Pyrex was invented in Corning, there is very little on display in the museum! (I'm a collector of this stuff and I find that very odd.)

It's too bad your visit will be so quick as this area is so gorgeous. Literally. There are dozens of shale gorges and waterfalls, wineries, etc.! It's a tourist's paradise. We were just there in mid-June.
 

Bluebird

Well-known member
Exercise is known to lift depression, so I am not surprised. Aries loves to go on walks in the woods with me.

As for Corning, Pixi grew up in that area, and I've been there many times. The Museum of Glass is truly amazing. If it works with your schedule, go to Donna's Restaurant on Market St, just a couple minutes from the museum, for breakfast or lunch. Donna's food is great and her vintage Pyrex collection is displayed all over the walls and in the windows. Oddly, even though Pyrex was invented in Corning, there is very little on display in the museum! (I'm a collector of this stuff and I find that very odd.)

It's too bad your visit will be so quick as this area is so gorgeous. Literally. There are dozens of shale gorges and waterfalls, wineries, etc.! It's a tourist's paradise. We were just there in mid-June.
I lived in Canandaigua for almost 20 years! The Finger Lakes area is gorgeous, and I love that I can go back to visit such a pretty place. I really can’t believe I never visited Corning - it’s been on my bucket list for like, ever!
 
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