Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

DarkKnight and I had a relatively uneventful back and forth drive to NY on Friday. I helped my mom open a new bank account at a National bank, and then I sat on the phone with her with the social security office for an hour and a half to change her monthly direct deposit to that new account.

I spoke to my sister, and we agreed that my mom will be moving on April 22. Her boyfriend will drive the moving truck, and she will be renting a car to follow along behind. (Her own car is trash.) My mom is going to try and pay part of the cost of the moving truck (not likely) and I will pay for what’s left of the truck rental and all of the gas for it. My nephew and his fiancé will help load the truck on moving day, and my son will assist with unloading.

Throughout this phone discussion, my sister was very hostile. We all think that it’s because she thought I would just argue with my brother - play bad cop to her good cop, and leave my mom in that situation. She didn’t anticipate me actually solving the issue all together. Sigh.

BugGirl is very excited about us finally moving out and her being able to take over the current house. Both DarkKnight and I are happy to let her purchase it when she is able to, or to just rent until she wishes to relocate with a partner. She’s buying fixtures and rugs, and making decorating plans!

This evening I’m going to focus on this year’s taxes, as I have all of the paperwork for BeanBoy’s paperwork. He needs his refund to be able to move here himself - when the cash is deposited, I’ll reserve his moving truck! He wants to purchase a new bed as well.

I had an okay weekend with MisterMoonbeam in Virginia. We had prepaid an escape room in Richmond - The Trials of Valhalla - and we beat it with a minute to spare. We had dinner out at a small restaurant and then went back to the hotel room for a good time! Only, he then proceeded to crack his head on the corner of the TV, while putting water bottles into the mini fridge. It was so bad, he saw stars, and collapsed onto the bed face down, taking gulps of air.

Now, if you just knocked yourself senseless, what do you think the next step should be?

A) Sit up slowly, take it easy and watch for signs of concussion?
B) Go to urgent care or the ER to get checked out, when you realize your vision is fuzzy and you can’t get it clear?
C) Pop a Cialis and pretend everything is great to proceed to pound town with your girlfriend, except stop after a few minutes and admit you can’t really move without wanting to throw up?

I’m sure you can guess which of these options MisterMoonbeam chose.

Oy! He had me in tears - I was SO FUCKING UPSET with him. He finally relaxed and went to sleep. I kept waking up to make sure he hadn’t stopped breathing, omg.

The next day, we had planned to attend a clothing swap with some of his old acquaintances and that was a good time for both of us. We brought a suitcase and two medium sized boxes full of our own cast offs, and left with some nice new options for the both of us. I was able to meet an old dating partner of his, and she was nice. She’s in a polycule with both a husband and a boyfriend who she cohabitates with. I didn’t have any time at all to talk with her but I’m a Facebook friend now so I am looking forward to getting to know her better.

After the clothing exchange, MisterMoonbeam and I drove to his parents’ house and they signed the gift letter we needed. They were unable to actually transfer the funds on last Friday, as they had a fraud hold on their account, but they plan to wire $4,000 on Tuesday or Wednesday. Either date will work for the deadline we have.

This morning I kept the car and I need to run to the Dollar Store and get Valentine’s gift bags for a small giveaway I’m doing for my clients tomorrow. I need to pick up chocolate candy too. There’s a volunteer coming over today to help assemble it all - we counted and divided up toiletry gift products last Thursday so it’s just bagging everything up that we need to get done.
So we’ve now paid for the appraisal and as I am writing this, MisterMoonbeam is wiring the other $3,000 of our earnest deposit to the title company. Tomorrow we will be making a $4,500 payment to his 401(k) to pay off a loan there, and he plans to meet up with his parents to get copies of some paperwork to show where their gift amount came from.

Last night was pretty stressful for all of us, not gonna lie. We were scrambling since the wire didn’t come through and we were trying to figure out how to shift cash around so we could make our payments happen when we needed them! My bestie made me cry because she showed up at my house, saying she wanted to give us the cash! I’m like holy shit girl, no. ❤️ Thankfully the wire hit this morning and everything was fine. Still, to have her offer like that was amazing.

I skipped my knitting class last night, but I’m planning to go again next week! I just had no energy in me to devote to that. I did pack a few boxes from my crafting area last night but I wasn’t into that either!

MisterMoonbeam and I were supposed to go to a Valentine dance tonight and I asked him to please let me stay home and cuddle instead. He was very happy to say yes! So that’s our plan for this evening. Lol I want to take a look at our budget too, as lots of bills come out of tomorrow’s paycheck and we need to make sure we’re all set with that.
Hahaha our evening changed right after I posted - MisterMoonbeam and I ended up driving to Virginia to meet up with his parents. Since Monday is a bank holiday, he was concerned that if there was an issue with his parents’ paperwork, we wouldn’t have time to correct it before our gift letter deadline. As part of the process, he needed to supply the pathway the money took from their accounts to his. So, we drove to their house and got everything they had, and sent it to the lender.

We spoke to our rep today and so far, so good. We signed off on the escrow agreement and we met the contract deadline for the earnest money. Yay!

In preparation for our down payment, we paid off half of the 401(k) loan with funds from his paycheck today, and the plan was for me to pay $2000 from my account that I share with DarkKnight, but apparently his company only allows one pending payment at a time. So now that’s on hold until his payment clears (which usually takes 2-3 days). We agreed to have another budget meeting on Tuesday and see if we can pay it then. Once both of those hit, it will pay off his current loan in full.

This is important, because the down payment on this house is coming out of that account and he can’t get the funds until this loan is gone. Our lender wants to see the down payment in MisterMoonbeam’s bank account in 10 days - and that *might* be doable. Our contact knows our timeline on this end so it’s not too big of a stress. Still, I wish we had been able to make both payments on that loan today, and that Monday wasn’t a holiday! Gah!

All of our bills for February are paid though, and later today I’m going to get my budget for March set up. Right now I am supposed to be putting away laundry and packing for my Valentine’s Day trip with SirGawain. I’m not really motivated but I do want to squeeze in some furniture shopping this afternoon so I need to get moving! By furniture shopping, I mean window shopping. I’m not spending any more money today!
The Valentine’s trip with SirGawain was a mix of good and bad. The good was the D&D component - we stayed at a local castle for the weekend, and it was centered around a role-playing session that was phenomenal! I really liked the story (set in Barovia with Straud) and the DM was great.

Not so great was my connection with SirGawain. Every time I talk to him or spend time with him, I feel more and more disconnected. We need to talk about this. I don’t think we’ve had any sort of sexual activity since like October or November, and he’s not at all touchy feely. Lately when he does try to snuggle up or anything in public, it’s either inappropriate and or it makes me feel uncomfortable, or both.

The worst part is I KNOW he feels out of sorts with me and neither of us is discussing it. I care about him a lot, but spending time with him distresses me because of this weirdness. He’s trying - at least a little bit - but since neither of us are talking about it, it’s awkward. He’s trying to both give me space and try to stay connected. I’m causing a lot of the issues, and he doesn’t know how to respond.

I WANT to fix this. Sometimes when I look at him - in a pic or in person - I feel so very happy that he’s in my life. Other times, I feel anxious because I’m not sure how to stop this inertia that is causing us to become more platonic and just like friends. I am busy and he is busy and when I have downtime, it just seems like so much work to connect.

And I just don’t have the spoons to connect. It makes me tear up sometimes, yet I do nothing to fix things because I have zero energy. Something has change though. It’s distressing and it stresses me out.

The worst was when I got home and SirGawain had left. DarkKnight asked when we were going to see the new Ant Man movie. MisterMoonbeam pulled up showtimes, ordered tickets and went to get his shoes on. DarkKnight went out real quick to get groceries and came home with TWO bouquets of flowers for me, and then we left together to go see Quantumania.

As I was sitting between these two guys, I felt so happy, and just this JOY. It was like my heart was going to burst out of my body. We are buying a house, we have this future that I keep day dreaming about - this wonderful home where we can have friends over, and I’m going to be opening a cat cafe once we get settled later on this year. I’m happy - so amazingly happy.

But it’s such a stark contrast from when I am with SirGawain. It makes me sad. I gotta get this worked out.
I've been noticing you mentioning Sir G less and less. You seem to get along on a more casual level, for dinners or other activities. I sense the need to downgrade to friends.

Maybe it doesn't have to be a big discussion, maybe just a short one. If you're both too busy for a long talk, you seem too busy to carry on as if you're bf and gf. You could just let things keep naturally drifting apart... Just address the weird touching that makes you uncomfortable and tell him you'd like the sexual aspect of your interactions to end completely.
I've been noticing you mentioning Sir G less and less. You seem to get along on a more casual level, for dinners or other activities. I sense the need to downgrade to friends.

Maybe it doesn't have to be a big discussion, maybe just a short one. If you're both too busy for a long talk, you seem too busy to carry on as if you're bf and gf. You could just let things keep naturally drifting apart... Just address the weird touching that makes you uncomfortable and tell him you'd like the sexual aspect of your interactions to end completely.
Awwww I would really hate to do that, to be honest. We’ve broken up twice before. I definitely do consider him someone I love and care about.

I’ve always enjoyed sex with him, but it’s nonexistent at this point, which makes me unhappy. I don’t think he’s particularly happy either.

Ugh. I am not making any changes now. I just keep waiting for my life to slow down so he and I can reconnect. He’s actively searching for more reasonable employment (shorter commute, less stress) and I am looking forward to having a bedroom so he can sleep over on game nights. Hopefully that will help things shift.

Today in house news, I packed up the garb closet and I now won’t see any of my corsets or skirts for at least a couple of months! I plan on working on the nightstands in MisterMoonbeam’s room later today or tomorrow.

This evening was the deadline for us to have a mortgage commitment letter to the seller, and our lender sent that this morning, along with a bullet list of stuff we still needed to provide. I went outside and loaded up the Blessing Box, dealt with my clients (there was a line when I opened) and gave direction to my volunteers. I went inside about an hour later, fully expecting to shift my focus to the paperwork, only to discover that MisterMoonbeam had found and submitted it ALL. Holy shit! I was flabbergasted. My man is COMPETENT.

We are still waiting for his 401(k) loan payment to post, though it says it’s happening today. Just not yet, I guess! I sent him the info he needs to pay the remaining $1900. It’s like, come on, come on! We need to pay this second part so we can get THAT to post, so we can then withdraw our down payment.
Lots of stress this morning! MisterMoonbeam tried to pay the rest of his loan online and it gave him a date for it to post in March! This would be unacceptable, since we have the closing date coming up in March. He called and got it canceled, and discovered it was because my bank account isn’t already linked up. Sigh.

We ended up going to the bank in person and doing a wire. This is not ideal, but at least it’s complete now, and his loan is showing it will be paid in full by Friday. Now we have to submit the transfer paperwork, a signed gift letter from DarkKnight & I, and a copy of our bank statement when it comes out next week, to show a source for the funds.

This isn’t an issue, it’s just pain in the ass extra work.
No new updates since yesterday. Online it says the 401(k) payment will fund tonight which will be a relief. We are keeping our fingers crossed that it goes smoothly.
I'm seriously on the edge of my seat with your house buying updates. I'm really really rooting for you. (Please tell me that colloquialism means the same thing in the USA).
I'm seriously on the edge of my seat with your house buying updates. I'm really really rooting for you. (Please tell me that colloquialism means the same thing in the USA).
Yes it means the same thing. :) I’m rooting for us too!

I was awoken at 3:30 am to vomiting in my bed. I’m not sure which cat it was, but I’m laying there, not wanting to move and check. I rolled over eventually and grabbed my phone and saw…nothing. Three cats asleep. I then picked up a stuffed dinosaur and revealed a huge puddle of sick. Wtf how did one of the cats puke, cover it up, and then go right back to sleep?! It was all over DarkKnight but he was asleep as well.

Well, I woke him up and we rolled the comforter off the bed. The sick hadn’t soaked through so he grabbed some blankets and went back to sleep after a quick trip to the bathroom. And, here I am awake. Gah!

Today my plans are to pack. It’s my day off. MisterMoonbeam will be home but he’s got a list of stuff to complete with work so I probably won’t see him much. He drove to Dulles yesterday and was absolutely beaten when he returned home. I ended up going out to dinner with just DarkKnight last night and that was super nice.

MisterMoonbeam and I have tentative plans to go to a Crokinole meet up tonight in Baltimore. The woman I played that game with (and Splendor) at the poly game-together earlier this month will be there. She reached out to me yesterday to ask if I was going to go, and if I could help her with transporting some items to her daughter here in my city. That’s no problem, so if we go I will be snagging some stuff from her.

No news yesterday with the house. Silence from the lender. In the evening before I went out, I went over our bank accounts and made sure both the shared account and MisterMoonbeam’s individual one were good. The payment from his account to the 401(k) still showed as pending, but I am thinking that will have cleared finally when he checks this morning. Hopefully it will be all done.

He is going to try and request another loan once it clears. He’s never had an issue before, but when he called in earlier this week, a rep told him there’s a 10-calendar-day hold after paying off a loan and he will have to wait for that. This was unexpected and will throw a wrench into our schedule, if that is the case.

He’s already talked to the lender and they said it should be an easy update to the paperwork to say that the down payment will be available at closing, rather than by the 3rd as it currently reads. (I think that’s what it currently reads.) This was good to hear! Prior to that phone conversation, MisterMoonbeam was having a complete meltdown - actually crying in failure and frustration, convinced he had screwed up the timing and all was lost. I was fine but his reaction ratcheted up my anxiety but I held it together to support him.

At the very worst our closing will shift from March 17 to March 21. The lender says that this more than likely won’t be an issue on their end though, as everyone realizes that closing dates move. However, yeah, do they even know our insane seller? I really can’t imagine though that they would cancel the entire deal for a slight time extension, when they are wanting to close as soon as possible - there’s no way they could find a new buyer and close any earlier!

Looking at the dates though, we don’t think that we will have to shift closing. A ten day wait to request funds would put us at March 6. His work says it takes 7-10 days to get the check printed and sent to us. Worst case scenario that puts us at March 16. His last loan took 4 days to show up so it’s not likely it’s going to be worst case there! I guess if it took the full ten days and then the bank put a hold?

As far as we know the appraisal hasn’t happened yet. Maybe we will hear about that today. I’m not stressing over that at all, except now I am. Lol The seller bought the house for $416k 18 months ago. Our offer is for $485k. She put in a new heat pump and all new flooring. With the way prices have skyrocketed, I don’t think this increase is out of line at all. Especially given the size of the house! The other places we saw in this price range were MUCH smaller. This should be okay. Right? Right. 🙃😆

I need to sleep!
Well I just went on Zillow and did a “recently
sold in the last 6 months” search and there are 6 houses with similar square footage in our city within those parameters and they all went for $490k-$570k. So there are certainly comps available. It looks like we should be fine. I just made myself paranoid for no reason. 😅

Ugh the alarm will be going off in 12 minutes.
The loan is paid in full, and the account says we can request our funds on March 5. MisterMoonbeam said he expects the money to be in his account 5 days from then, March 10. It’s a direct deposit, so there will be no hold. It doesn’t seem like this will affect the closing date at all. He confirmed all of this info with the lender this morning. Whoo hoo!
We had to sign a form saying the money we gave to MisterMoonbeam was a gift, and “friends” wasn’t considered detailed enough. Our broker asked how we met and details. The fact that MisterMoonbeam is in a relationship with a married woman (me) had them saying “lalalalalalalalalala” with their hands over their ears and they said they’d think of another way to put it so the lender would be okay with the gift and not be privy to our private lives.

We were given a pre-typed letter that said DarkKnight and I became friends with MisterMoonbeam during the pandemic, when circumstances warranted him moving in with us and our family. We are now giving him a cash gift, because we want him to be able to own a house too.


It really sounds when I’m reading it that we want him to GTFO of our house now.


Oh well. It’s the truth as written so we both signed it.
Busy - but fun weekend! Friday night MisterMoonbeam and I went to a Crokinole Club event in Baltimore, and I came in last during a tournament. Lol I was under zero illusions that I was going to score any better, the entire time, so I had a blast anyway. :) It was an enjoyable outing, and I got to see a woman I have been chatting with here and there on messenger. I met her earlier in the month at a local gaming event - I think I mentioned that here previously.

She actually contacted me the day before Crokinole and asked if I could deliver some items to her daughter in our town, and we absolutely were glad to do that. I am kind of crushing on her but she’s like 10 years older and seems way too sophisticated for me! So far we’re just talking.

She texted me today about having a hangover and shared her own misadventures in that realm (she saw one of my Facebook posts).

Anyway, Friday was a fun night. On Saturday, I went to a cat rescue in the morning with my bestie in Gettysburg, and then we went out to lunch together at a buffet in a different city. We came back to my house after and spent the entire night drinking and playing Zombicide with my polycule. We have now officially finished Black Plague - whoo hoo! Our next game will be Zombicide: Wolfsburg, but we’ve decided to start that *after* our move!

Sunday - which was today, but it’s ass o’clock now so it’s actually yesterday but whatever - DarkKnight, MisterMoonbeam and I went to IKEA and took a look at some furniture for the new game room and MisterMoonbeam’s bedroom. We had lunch at PotBelly and then came home and I took an hour nap (that drinking did me in!). Afterward, MisterMoonbeam & I drove to Chambersburg to meet up with a chick who was selling a cat tree which matches his new bedroom aestethic. We got to talking about the project he’s been working with NASA on for years, and he’s wanting to commission an art piece for his new room, which I think is super cool. Here’s part of my current Pinterest for his room:

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If you recognize the spaceship - yay! It’s called the Cygnus, and it resupplies the ISS. I think it looks cool AF, and it would be awesome to actually have some art of it in the house!

I think I have lost some more weight but it makes me nervous to think about so I am not checking. Here’s a couple of pics of me:

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My hair is crazy long now! I need to get it toned, as the blonde is making me feel not-me. I keep it in braids a bunch. Once in a while I think about coloring it red again, but I like it being natural for the most part.
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I’m not sure why my photos aren’t imbedding anymore. The forum is glitching or maybe something on the back end changed here. :(
Just got my period. Ugh. Cramps are painful this morning!
I’m not sure why my photos aren’t imbedding anymore. The forum is glitching or maybe something on the back end changed here. :(
I'm sorry about that. All we can do is wait for the admin to look into it.
Omg Funny what my period does to my damn body. The other day I was thinking I had dropped another size and could fit into a 14, and today I am bulging in an 18! I am SO bloated and achy. I hope the weather is nice so I can enjoy something about today.

I was going to post some more photos of the house but I can’t remember what I have shared and what I haven’t. Instead I will just say we are all very excited. My son now has a clear move-in date to our current house (March 25) and he’s put in his notice at work. He can’t transfer - the location close to us is a different franchise. I told him to apply online anyway because he’s got solid experience.

This weekend my guys and Bestie are going to the Home Show, as we need to find a plumber, a person to do our radon remediation and something else I am absolutely forgetting right now.

Gotta go open the Blessing Box - today and Thursday are my last days and then we are closing down until the summer!
So much for a day off - I was up early this morning and my youngest daughter was at my house at 8 am. Our town’s Restore was having a 50% discount on patio furniture today, and we were first in line - 45 minutes before opening.

At first we were like, oh we look silly, but soon the line was down the whole front of the building. No way would we have gotten what we did if we weren’t first in line! My fat ass was RUNNING to grab the tags on what I had seen online yesterday evening!

I ended up with this loveseat, 2 chairs and coffee table; LittleMichigan’s mission was to snag that tag and she did!

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While she headed to the left, I went straight back to a side room and grabbed this round dining table with four chairs, and then ran to reach up and get the tag for a side table and two low chairs with this really cool pattern, on the other side of the room.

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We were both so excited to get everything on my list! As we met back up, we realized there was a box of cushion covers in a box that matched my loveseat set exactly, so I got 4 (for $3.50 each!) for the dining chairs. Super sweet!

It took 3 trips in the minivan to get it all home, and there is now a big round table in the center of my living room. 😂

Oh! And on our last trip, we were walking back through the loading area, and we saw a worker assembling an egg chair! I asked him when I could buy it, and he said right now - so I found one of the pricing people and got it for $120, brand new out of the box! I looked it up when I got home and it’s $430 right now on the Home Depot website. Crazypants!

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Yesterday we received news that the house appraised for $10,000 more than our offer, which was full asking price. Yay! That was a load of low-key worry erased. $496,000 - so with our down payment we should start with a little bit of equity, anyway!

The appraiser marked a bunch of outside areas that need to be scraped and painted in order for the property to meet FHA guidelines. The seller had said they wouldn’t pay more than $500 for repairs, and the estimate was $675. Apparently they are already looking for someone to do this, so I guess they are okay with it. In our contract, we have the right to remediate ourselves, but it looks like we won’t have to do that. Keeping my fingers crossed on that!

We have an appointment tomorrow that has nothing to do with the house, but it’s going to cost us. The van was sorta smelly last week so we scheduled with the dealer for a transmission flush. However, when DarkKnight was driving it on Tuesday night, he said the ABS light came on! It then went off, but when I was hauling around patio furniture yesterday, there was grinding and vibrations when I was trying to stop! So I called and let the shop know that we are canceling the transmission flush and need the brakes checked out instead.

We just paid like $1200 in December to keep this on the road (it’s a 2007) and we all want a new vehicle. It’s not in the cards for us though - we can’t buy a new van when we’re buying a house! I need this fix to be around $500 or it’s just throwing money at a problem.

I do have $500 worked into our annual budget each month for a payment, as I figured we would get one in the summer. I’m not sure what to do at this point. We need to use this van to move my son in a couple of weeks, and we need a second vehicle as MisterMoonbeam will be taking our main car into work in DC at least 8 times this month.

Maybe we will sell it and just rent a van for the rest of the month. We won’t need a second vehicle at all in April, since MisterMoonbeam will be in Arizona for work. I need to check pricing today and see what that would cost.