Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

I talked to the realtor yesterday afternoon and our final walkthrough is now scheduled for noon on Friday, and closing is good to go at 1 pm, right after. The seller is being an absolute ASS and is currently refusing to give up the key until after closing to anyone, and says she will not sign if the bank hasn’t transferred the funds prior. Sigh. Realtor says not to worry, she will reach out to the lender and make sure they transfer in the morning to the title company. 🙄

Apparently the seller’s mother reached out to my agent directly AGAIN, this time to complain about their realtor and to talk trash about how they are going to remove this one built-in piece of furniture. Which we already okayed, but she was saying they WON’T be repairing or painting the wall and to go ahead and cancel the closing because of it - they’d love that to happen. Like…what? Who does this? Our realtor says to just assume it will look terrible. Okay?

Also, they are refusing to schedule their utilities to be shut off, they won’t even call, in case we decide to change our minds last minute. Um, what? And they scheduled their movers for Thursday afternoon. Again, just in case we are pulling something. They want to be present at the final walkthrough as well, since we can’t be trusted not to break things and then try and say it was like that and then try to scam money at the closing table.

This seller has been hostile since day 1 and we have no idea why since we haven’t talked to her and don’t know her. It’s crazypants. Our realtor says she’s never experienced anything like this.

Anyway, I don’t need this stress. Our realtor is going to make sure the title company has the seller stay and disconnect all of the utilities before leaving. And she’s going to go to the last walkthrough with us, and demand that the seller’s agent be present to keep this crazy person away from us.

For real, this is bizarre AF.

I was anxious yesterday but now I’m like, whatever. Soon this will be over and we never have to interact with this nutter again. We are most definitely closing on Friday! I got drunk AF last night on a bottle of Pineapple Pear wine and it was not a good time. That’s it for this year! Lol

Today I am packing up the living room and rearranging the furniture. A lot of the larger pieces I am leaving for my mom (the new sectional and chair I bought last year, coffee table, etc) and I am trying to clear out a lot of the boxes so I can push everything that is staying, over by the fireplace wall. This way moving the stuff that is leaving with us will be easier to get out.
 
MisterMoonbeam came home in tears today - to say he was stressed would be an understatement! The lender sent over the last of the closing disclosures for him to sign off on ahead of time - nothing has changed - but they were unable to reverify his employment. So he spent several hours trying to get that done, while at work. The website was down, and HR was less than helpful, apparently. He said at one point he was thinking, “do I need to go stand in front of a fucking satellite and take pictures to prove what it is I do here?!”

Everything was clear by the end of day though, and our final paperwork is now at the Title company! We’ve also been told that we don’t need to worry - the funds have also been dispersed and the wire has been sent. So we just need to show up on Friday.

We’re all like, fuck this seller! We’re done and just waiting on her now! The lender says they let our realtor and the listing agent know that we have done our part and we are 100% ready to close.

Such a relief! I finished packing and organizing the entire living room today, and I did a little bit of MisterMoonbeam’s office as well. His office was like, supposed to be done the first week we started the packing schedule, and he said he had it under control. This is not even remotely done - and silly me had just figured he had done it. Sigh. His executive dysfunction strikes again! It’s now my plan to focus on that space tomorrow and get it finished if I can. His office is the first room being moved, and it’s on the schedule for SUNDAY. Ahhhhhh! Lol

The other thing tomorrow I need to do is get up early and take DarkKnight to work, so I can keep the van. We had the brakes fixed last week but we now know that the ABS sensor is bad. We ordered one off Amazon for $25 (AutoZone wanted $75!) and our mechanic said he’d swap it out for free. So that will be nice to have fixed at last. I need the van to go to IKEA on Saturday to buy all of the furniture I need for the new house from there - two dressers for MisterMoonbeam, our game table with 6 chairs, a 5x5 Kallax, a 2x4 Kallax and I think a rug? I need to write a list. I’m also getting these plastic bag holders that are like these white plastic cylindrical tubes with holes in them. They’re the perfect size to hold yoga mats in our new home gym.
 
More news from our realtor today! She said she’s also heard that we are clear to close and she’s been in contact with the listing agent. Lots of stuff happening:

🙂 The seller will not be at closing. She is signing at 10 am on Friday instead. This is good news because I wanna scream. It’s good for us not to see her.

🙂 The seller will not be at our final walkthrough. The listing agent will have the key at noon on Friday to let us in with our realtor. Again, good news. We were stressed about the seller being there and being weird.

🙂 Apparently there was a showdown between the seller and her agent. After telling her a million times that she couldn’t do certain things, he just told her to do what she wanted, but that she needed to actually read her contract, because she was about to be in breach of it, in several ways. So I guess she read the contract. The wall unit she wanted has been removed and they are now saying they will sand, patch and paint and we don’t have to worry about it. I think my realtor telling them directly that we could possibly walk away got them to pay attention, and with their own agent not backing down, it’s now being handled. Seriously, who does this sort of thing?!

The seller is now leaving more furniture than expected, including a newer king mattress in garage. She couldn’t fit everything she wanted to take in her rented pod. She’s lucky that I have a furniture guy who will pick this stuff up and rehome it with people in need - I have a waiting list! :)

The seller’s moving Pod will be in our driveway til 4:30 pm on Friday. We are okay with this.

There were a bunch of decomposing paper trash bags on one side of the house, and They’re all gone - finally! - another service was picking up junk and they took them.

Yay! All good news today.

The van repair went well and the mechanic didn’t charge me anything. He is training an apprentice so things took a little longer, as he was showing the process, step by step. Apparently with the brake caliper being loose or whatever earlier, it actually got things so hot that the ABS sensor melted in place. They had to get it out, but the new one went in and all of our issues disappeared. Sweet.

This mechanic is amazeballs, we talked and he told me to send people to him who couldn’t afford to fix things and he’s hook them up!

After that, I packed some of MisterMoonbeam’s office but I didn’t want to mess with his desk, so I taped a bunch of boxes and sent him a message that his job tonight is to clear it. I don’t care if he sorts the papers and spends time organizing things, or just pushes it all into boxes. I just need the top clear so we can move it over on Sunday.
 
Omg I am soooo stressed. Like, what if things don’t work out tomorrow and it’s all just shit? Or, what if things do go well and we have our dream house?


Ahhhhhhhh
 
Breathe. It'll be fine. Everyone is on your side, including the seller's agent.
 
Woo-the-fuck-hoo!!! Congratulations!
 
Thanks for the love everyone!

I couldn’t sleep last night - the cramps I have going on make me wanna die. My period isn’t due yet, so I don’t know what’s up. I wanna write more about yesterday, but I have to get in the shower. SirGawain is meeting me at the new house - he hasn’t been able to see it yet - and then we are headed to IKEA to spend a LOT of money.
 
Ahhhhhhhhhh! I swear, this house is so huge, it’s swallowing every single thing we put into it. I’ve spent over $300 on new cabinet knobs, doorknobs and exterior locks. A couple hundred on paint supplies for 3 rooms - MisterMoonbeam’s office, his bedroom and DarkKnight’s bedroom.

I bought a couple of outdoor rugs today for my back deck, which is looking good, though I need to get a new canopy for the pergola. For our anniversary tomorrow, MisterMoonbeam and I are going to buy a fire pit for our in the yard - there’s a perfect spot! - and look at chairs/benches/whatever to surround it. I’m not sure about what to do there, but that’s for tomorrow! I was hoping to clean out the pond today but it’s too chilly. Maybe tomorrow or Wednesday, as it’s supposed to get warmer this week.

I bought my game room furniture this past weekend with SirGawain. We went to IKEA and spent $2000. Gah! But I will now have a 5x5 white Kallax and and an 8 ft table with 8 chairs. The table extends to that length when needed. The chairs have these pretty green covers that I need to now take to Home Depot - well one at least - so I can try and figure out a paint color for this room. Right now the walls are white and I don’t want to build a Kallax bookshelf and have it be white in front of white. I was thinking about a soft muted rusty orange but IDK. Every other room I seem to be painting green, so that might be it for this space too!

I’m really excited to get the game room set up. I’m probably going to assemble some chairs this morning. Right now the electrician is here, knocking out all of the items that were listed as issues on our inspection report. I also have him hanging our dining room light and a new fixture in DarkKnight’s bedroom. He’s already inspected my sauna and said the circuit for it is fine and it’s in good working condition with no issues. Whoo hoo!

My friend who does flooring is showing up this morning as well. We found a bunch of vinyl planks in the garage that were left over from the new stuff that’s currently in most of the spaces in this house. It looks to be enough to do a bedroom, so my guy is coming over to measure and let me know. Hell prolly charge me $400 or so to rip out the carpet that’s there and put down the new stuff but that will be money well spent.

This afternoon is the plumber. We have two hot water tanks, and one is dedicated to my garden tub in the master bath. We’re told the main house tank is 32 years old! Apparently we can consolidate these two and purchase some sort of booster thingy when needed. Idk - they’re going to quote us for it. Apparently though we have a leaky pipe someplace in the basement, so they’re fixing that today and um, something else I don’t know anything about - let me look at the report…oh the powder room sink needs a P type trap? It has a S type now which is apparently not what’s good.

The report also says the basement bathroom sanitary grinder pump did not actuate after running the tub, toilet and sink. 🤷‍♀️ This is getting looked at too, I guess.
 
Go, go, go! I don’t know how I could do all this AND the Blessing Box! So glad I have stuff on hold there, but I do miss it so!

We have had 3 plumbers in and we have one of those who has sent us a firm quote, broken down in to various jobs. The prices are crazypants, so we are hoping the others are cheaper, for sure. I have another plumber coming Friday, so we will see.

Today the HVAC company will be here and I hope it’s an easy fix. Things are rattling in the attic! If it’s expensive, we’ll be doing a series of estimates with different businesses there too.

I’m loving this house so much! Just sitting in the sunroom, or on the back deck - it’s so lovely! I got one of my outdoor area rugs, so I was able to set up my morning zen spot already. I’m going to buy a plant for the table, and I have a macrame 3-tier hanging planter purchased that needs put up here to frame the one side. I sat here and talked to MisterMoonbeam last night about the rocky corner right in front - you can see it in the pic - and what to do with that. It’s literally a tray full of stones on the deck. I kinda like it, and he suggested maybe putting a statue of Demeter or some pagan stuff there as decoration, and I am open to that.

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We got a bunch done in the game room - specifically painting a color block on one wall, and assembling a Kallax in front of it. I bought the bolts to anchor it to the wall this morning. I need to put together the table now, but all 8 chairs are set up. I’m a pro at those now!

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Good news! The HVAC system is in excellent shape. Everything inside and outside is working as it should. We believe the noise was coming from an imbalance in the air intake - the two filters we have (one in the hallway in the north wing, and the other in the living room entry) were SATURATED and completely clogged up. They looked like they hadn’t been changed in two years! The one was bent up - it looked like the system was sucking it up internally so it could try and get air!

We haven’t heard a peep out of anything since the filters were changed. Which is great! The system was installed in 2020.
 
I’m so overwhelmed - this house is humongous! I had a friend come over yesterday and we drank alcohol on the deck at noon and talked about it. She told me I deserved this, because I’m a good person and I do such wonderful things for people. Other friends have told me this and it doesn’t sit right for a number of reasons.

Everyone deserves safe, affordable housing. I have that, at my other address. This sort of crazy big house isn’t owed to anyone, and the fact that my polyamorous life allows me to move here, doesn’t mean my day-to-day “helpfulness” had anything to do with it.

In fact, the only thing that I did was help MisterMoonbeam focus his finances to pay off debt and look reliable to the lender. It is doubtful he would have done this independently, but eventually someone he dated would have given him a shake and put him on the right path. The person who had the most impact here was actually DarkKnight, who allowed MisterMoonbeam to be added on to a couple of his credit accounts to boost the scores.

Anyway, plenty of people are decent, and do good things, and still struggle and suffer. It angers/saddens/confuses me a little to think that others think I deserve anything more because of what I do. I’m not more deserving than others. I kind of believe in karma, but not in a tally sheet sort of way. When you make one choice, there are consequences, and sometimes those are good consequences and sometimes they are bad. I don’t believe that they add up to something that gets rewarded indirectly.

I do good because it feels good, and it feels right. Not because I think I will have this amazing outcome at the end of my life, or at certain checkpoints. Sometimes you do good and it’s the right thing to do, but there’s still a shitty outcome.

If anything, me being added to the deed here was a selfish thing. I wanted to protect myself from another situation like with PunkRock. If MisterMoonbeam wants to dump me later on, I don’t want my housing to be in jeopardy. I think I did right by PunkRock - I gave him two months to move out, I was willing to give him a good rental reference, and even though he left a bunch of stuff behind, I let him retrieve it all a month or so afterward. AND I didn’t go after him legally for money he owed me. I think all of that went smoothly. But he was definitely in the position where if I wanted to fuck him over, I could have. I don’t want to find myself at a disadvantage. That’s neither good nor bad, it’s just smart, I think.

That situation has been in my head a lot recently because of this move, which I think is a normal thing. MisterMoonbeam and I have had several discussions about that - what if we broke up, how would the division go. We need to get lawyers involved, I think, to protect both of us, and make sure the life insurance makes sense. DarkKnight should definitely be involved. We will focus on that in the summer.

MisterMoonbeam leaves for Arizona in one week! I seriously am starting to get anxious about it - I’ve never been away from a nesting partner for three entire weeks. He said he spoke with his therapist on Monday about it in depth, and he is worried too. It’s going to stir up my attachment issues, zero doubt. I have some strategies in mind to keep functioning though - stuff with setting up the new house will help.

MisterMoonbeam needs more therapy too though. He actually had a breakdown a couple of days ago and he talked to DarkKnight about it a short bit, and me a bunch. Buying this house has stirred up a lot of survivor’s guilt, with his late wife. She always wanted to get a house with him, and it was never achievable when they were young and poor, and raising two kids on his single salary, and then she got sick and was ill and in the hospital for stretches at a time. I knew he was thinking about it leading up to the closing date, so after we signed everything, I did a thing for him.

Basically, when we pulled up to the new house for the first time with the keys, I gave him a picture I had taken from his office, of them together. It was actually a strip of photos, from when they were younger. I stayed in the car, and told him to go into the house alone, with her, and show her that he did it. I wanted him to be able to get that emotion out, and to know that I love and support him, and that it’s okay to feel all those feelings.

I think it helped, a little. At least he knew that I wanted him to have this time with her too. ❤️

I have so much more to write about but no time.
 
That was really sweet of you, BB.
 
Thanks. I wasn’t thinking about being sweet. I just wanted him to know that I was thinking about his heart.
 
Basically, when we pulled up to the new house for the first time with the keys, I gave him a picture I had taken from his office, of them together. It was actually a strip of photos, from when they were younger. I stayed in the car, and told him to go into the house alone, with her, and show her that he did it. I wanted him to be able to get that emotion out, and to know that I love and support him, and that it’s okay to feel all those feelings.

I think it helped, a little. At least he knew that I wanted him to have this time with her too. ❤️
Oh man this made me tear up so bad, it was really sweet and lovely for you to do. I think it's really lovely that you're helping his healing process like this and helping him have moments he couldn't with her <3
 
I’m hitting a wall and I am out of energy. I spent the day back at my old house, and I packed up the linen closet and a portion of the kitchen. I had planned to do more but I am just DONE. Hopefully I can reset and finish that space tomorrow. The movers arrive on Saturday whether I am finished or not!
 
When I walk through the house - no matter when it is or what I am doing, I am in awe that THIS is my house and my life. Like, complete and utter excitement and joy. Squeeee!

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MisterMoonbeam and I have been sleeping at the new house all this week and I am in absolute love with this place, and with him. We’ve had sex two nights in a row, and had so many deep conversations about our sexualities, our preferences, and our relationship. I feel understanding, acceptance and so much love!

I am going to miss him so very much, when he leaves for Arizona on Sunday. He’s going to be gone for three weeks. I’m determined to get things set up as much as possible in that time frame, so when he gets back, he just has to enjoy the house. Lately he has been extremely swamped at work, as they just had an internal audit with a lot of findings, which means he has to follow up and whip other departments into shape, making sure they correct the issues. He’s in the process of losing two team members as well, so he’s got to fill those positions so he can actually do the work. Arizona is both an internal audit, AND an audit by NASA. So he’s super stressed. Having the move right in the middle of this activity has not been easy. Especially when on top of all of that stuff, he’s being hit with survivor’s guilt, and other emotional issues.

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DarkKnight and I actually locked ourselves out of the house yesterday - the front door has a chain lock on it from the inside, and since I left from the garage in the morning, I didn’t take it off. This ended up being a blessing in disguise, because when we couldn’t open the front door, he went around to the back. There he discovered that BOTH solarium doors had an issue - they have two locks on each door (handle and deadbolt) and he had only rekeyed the deadbolts. And of course, both were locked on both doors. Thankfully the back door into the garage existed, or else we would have been screwed. Of course, the clicker to the garage was in Dulles with MisterMoonbeam!

It looks like DarkKnight tossed the packaging and the original keys to the door handles into the trash a week ago. So this means - I think - we have to go to the store and buy every package of these particular door handles still on the shelf with a different number sequence, and hope that we hit on a match. He can rekey them, but they’re the smart key type, so he needs an original key. Sigh. Hopefully he can find it, and early on, so we aren’t returning a ton of open packages in our search. If he can’t locate a match, that means we are buying two new door handles for keeps, which is like $60. Sigh.

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Today my focus needs to be on the garage at the new house, and getting things cleared out for staging. The left side is currently filled with a couch and two HUGE TV stands that belong to my son, who we moved into our old house on Sunday. The space is also stacked up with trash and miscellaneous seller reject stuff. I need to move out EVERYTHING, as they first thing being moved to our home on Saturday is MisterMoonbeam’s storage unit. It all has to go on this side of the garage for sorting at a later date. His storage unit costs us $283 a month, and we have paid that for the last time! It’s a bunch of random furniture but like 95% of it is jewelry pieces and art supplies for his late wife’s business. The majority of it needs to be sold off, but we haven’t had time to do that in the past 3 years.

Anyway, once his storage unit is unloaded here by our moving crew (we paid for movers!), my son’s furniture is being loaded up and taken to the old house. That’s the plan, anyway. Then the movers can load up the old house and we are good!

The right side of the garage is going to be my new Blessing Box space, so again, I need to get everything cleared out to make room. There’s a perfect stretch of wall for the extra fridge and stand up freezer, but there’s a hose holder screwed directly into the wall, so I will need MisterMoonbeam to remove that today.

I have not done much in the garage at all so this is going to be a doozy of a day! There’s no working late either, because tonight we have tickets to see the new D&D movie in Frederick, and there’s an event there at the theater where the space will be set up as a tavern with items for sale and cosplayers present. It should be a good escape from the insanity here - if we can shut off our brains and focus on fun!

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Both DarkKnight and MisterMoonbeam have Friday off, so we can get the old house ready to go. The kitchen is only half-packed, and most of the basement needs attention. Ahhhhhh!

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OMG I found the original blueprints to my house!!! It’s so cool to see that my master bedroom was once much smaller, and the solarium didn’t exist, except as a slab of concrete for a patio, and we didn’t have a garage - just a carport. Our powder room was a Jack n Jill bathroom - and MisterMoonbeam’s bedroom once had a very different closet. My master bath was different as well. I could look at these plans for hours.

We had been told the house was custom built, and we now have the name of the architect. We looked him up online and he didn’t have a degree in architecture, but he had gone to a design school in Baltimore. We’re wondering if he was just a friend of the owners, because he never had a firm or anything like that - he ran the family business, which was livestock supply.

The other insanely awesome thing is that I also found the plans for the 1987 remodel that added the sunroom - which the blueprints call an atrium. This made me laugh because I called the space an atrium right away, but my guys “corrected” me. 😂 Apparently 1987 is also when the kitchen got upgraded, and my master bath.

I’m sitting here this morning, drinking chai and eating a cheese danish, (with no napkin or paper towel because we ran out here), looking out over my garden. My life is so, so good. I could never imagine this happiness, ever.

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Tomorrow is our official moving day!
 
It’s moving day!!

And it’s raining. Oh well!

I am waiting for SirGawain to arrive and pick me up to take me away from here. We have a brunch planned, followed by seeing the D&D movie. I’ve seen it, but he hasn’t. I don’t mind, as it was very entertaining!

With his help, I should be able to avoid the bulk of the nonsense. I’m not good with the process of moving day - I get out of sorts, frustrated and become a terrible person. Since I do so much leading up to this, I am okay with bowing out and leaving the actual moving to my guys, and the people we’re paying to actually carry boxes. (I think we’re too old to ask our friends to assist - paying with pizza is for when you’re in your 20s & 30s! Just my take on it.)

So, I’ve labeled all of the rooms with bright green frog tape, and I am off to get dressed and await my escape!

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